Raptorsin7

@ardacigin Which book should i read first? Leigh's book or TMI?

@ardacigin Can you link some of the happiness jhana practice from Leigh Brasington

@herghly Why are you meditating for 45 minutes in the morning?

@Buba If you are using meditation as a way to cure your unhappiness then listen to this guy's post. I am like you. I used meditation to seek happiness and joy because I was unsatisfied with life. I am at a point where i'm seeking enlightenment but I don't even get joy and happiness from meditation. I would have been much wiser to do something like this from the star, but I didn't know you could systematically create happiness like this from meditation. @ardacigin Should i do a long 3 or 4 hour single sit first and see if my state changes significantly before i buy The Mind Illuminated. and try to do the happiness practices there?

@zeroISinfinity I haven't felt the love yet. I feel like i understand all this stuff intellectually but my direct experience isn't anything like you describe yours. Also, i was reading your rold journal about not helping bliss chasers and people pursuing enlightenment for egoic reasons. because they will cause suffering if they don't fully understand god. These people, like me, will cause WAY MORE suffering without enlightenment. Bliss chaser, prisoner, it doesn't matter who. Enlightenment is the best case for me, you, and everyone and everything. There are no reasons to not help someone pursue enlightenment. But i do get your point about you can't do it from egoic reasons. If I want to be enlightened for my own sake and my own desires I think it's going to take a lot long then if i find a different motivation.

@SoonHei Why would god create separation in the first place? If god is infinite love then why not just create a system where you fulfill loves purpose without causing the unnecessary suffering of the human experience?

@pluto Ahh okay. Very cool. Keep up that jesus energy bro lol. Good luck (:

@pluto When you listen to affirmations do you repeat them or just listen to the tape?

@pluto Wow very interesting.

This list is not me. None of this is true of me. It's true of the guy in my head who likes talking about himself. But this isn't me.

Who am I? I have to meditate I have to eat healthy I have to write my crim exam tmrw I have to protect myself from bad feelings and bad people I should feel happier I should be happier My life should be better I should enjoy my life more I have to go home after exams are over I have to be happy i should be happy I should find a high paying job I should be really successful I should be totally financially independent I should live my life from a place of god and source I am scared of flow blown enlightenment because I don't want to experience hell I should go to yoga I should exercise and my keep my body healthy I have to clean my apartment for the party tmrw I have to go to the store to buy stuff I have to know what's going on I have to get to enlightenment so i can finally start enjoying my life i should enjoy my life I have to protect myself from death I have to pursue enilghtenment i should pursue enlightenment because it's better for the whole world if i'm enlightened I should tell my parents i love them i should work hard I should be really good at sports i should be really smart i should have fun when i'm playing video games video games should feel good I have to love my darkest aspect of myself I have to protect my public image I have to live my life in accordance with god I have to open my chakras

Let me go. Write down your “important things”, your “big things”, your “serious things”, your “must’s”, your “should’s”, your “supposed to’s, your “expected to’s”, your “have to’s”. Have a good look at that list of “youness” and notice, that is not you. That “me” you seem to have become, the grown up, the serious one, that is not you. I feel this truth, and you feel it too. Have a ceremony, light a candle, light that list, smile while it burns. That’s not me. Let ”me” go. And gone it is. Choose this tree of life, of living, of love. Let go the knowledge of good & evil, of right & wrong. That is not me. ..............................

Which choice would a wise man make? Dissolve your ego to the truth permanently and try to embody non-duality with no ego. Or bring your ego into alignment with non-dual teachings where you still maintain the illusion of control to some degree to make it easier to interact in the world with other people?

@Khron I was talking to @pluto. There is nothing wrong with getting disability in my opinion. People need help sometimes and there is nothing to be ashamed of about that. Anyone who makes someone feel bad for being on disability is deluded. You are doing everything right imo. You are trying to meditate to improve yourself. Keep improving yourself. You have no reason to feel guilty friend, but there is also nothing wrong with the feeling of guilt. Accept it. Then let it go. Keep posting here and trying to learn. There are many very wise people who can help you. Also, i was in the same position as you in my meditation for a few years. The most important thing is to keep doing it. No matter what happens don't get discouraged. Good session. Bad session. Does not matter at all. Literally at all. Just do your best to keep showing up. Eventually it will all work out, and it will all start making sense. Good luck (:

@pluto How do you make money?

@Amandine Don't create so much pressure about drinking. If you have a drink tmrw it's OK. The big picture is what matters. Keep improving your life and eventually your life will be so amazing that you will have no need for alcohol to make you feel better. But creating that kind of pressure is dangerous. You will feel so bad if you relapse after setting that standard.

@Ero I know it's just a distraction.

@Highest Lmao. I have a good feeling that if you meditate, do yoga, take the process seriously etc then you can handle the ego backlash better than most people think is possible. Suffering will depend on our willingness to surrender and love the process. If we resist and fail to surrender and accept then we will suffer more I think. At least i hope that's how this goes. I think my fear of the unknown about ego death is holding me back rn so i'm just trying to work through it.

@Highest I think it is whatever we think about it. So you think its extreme and radical so that's how you will interrupt it and it will inform how you read every topic about it. I feel the same way, I always wonder why Leo focuses on the death aspect, etc. But it's my own projection and fear of ego death. I think in truth the experience is neutral. It's the meaning and feeling we give to it that matters. If you feel and project ego death is going to be extreme and radical, then i'd bet that it's going to be pretty extreme and radical. But i haven't died yet so i'm just talking shit at this point.

@Highest I think the ego is seen to be an illusion. It's like realizing santa clause isn't real. It's not that anyone killed santa. At some point we just realize santa was never there to begin with.

@VeganAwake Wow thanks for ruining my day bud. I thought my ego could be tamed lol...

@Nahm It's more about ego backlash to awakening. The more integrated and accepting of the truth the ego is before enlightenment the easier it will be too integrate the experiences. The ego isn't real. But tell that to the countless posters who are suffer existential crises from awakening. There must be a better way.

@tsuki You are exactly where you need to be. Don't get it twisted. Everything you are experiencing is perfection. You just gotta keep going until you wake up and realize it.

@tsuki Be strong. Trust your gut. Do something that makes you feel good too so you can relax. G00d luck

@Mada_ do you have a cell phone? I use my cell phone timer. Works like a charm