Raptorsin7

@Raphael what meditation technique do you use? Also, how do you apply love to your meditation?

@mandyjw I want to grow past my depression and unhappiness. A lot of what I've been doing has been surface level busy work. Posting on the forum, yoga, "meditation". it's like im removing diseased flesh over and over. I have to get to the root. The real cause for my unhappiness. inner work is what actually works imo. Also ive had tremendous progress with happiness in the past and i did some ad hoc inner work back then. Then i got cochey and thought I was done. Now im back unhappy again so i think this is the path.

@Serotoninluv Can I practice EDMR on myself or do I need to go to a therapist? I've looked for a detailed explanation on what exactly is it, and how to do it but i can't find a good one? Can you elaborate on this?

So EDMR and holotropic breathing will just naturally get to the root of the issue, that inner child work is also trying to address? Did you find any value in going inside and just speaking to, and imaging your inner child?

I am going to begin inner child work. I reading a book called the spiritual awakening process, and i really resonate with what the authors are teaching. According to what i've read I have many signs of a deeply repressed and traumatized inner child which makes complete sense given me behaviors and my upbringing. I am going to stick with this work for the near future, before moving onto to something like shadow work. I'm excited to go deeper into this work, because I believe inner work, like inner child work, is where genuine growth and improvement in the quality of one's life happens. I plan on writing extensively on this forum about inner work if i get the kind of results i'm expecting from this work. I also contacted an old friend who is going to hook me up with LSD I can't wait. LSD and meditation is going to facilitate so much growth!

@Amandine No problem

@mandyjw That's beautiful. I think inner work like shadow work is so underrated on here. I've been "meditating" for a few years now, but only recently have i just stopped to feel what my life actually feels like and it's very profound. I'm going to start an organized shadow work system, and i'm excited to come back and post my results here. What did you actually do? What kind of shadow work did you practice?

@ivankiss @mandyjw Do you think shadow work or inner work could open more up our psyche up so it's easier to accept and integrate these kinds of intense, reality bending experiences? I think some people just don't get a lot of crazy trips on the path, for whatever reason, and some people get crazy intense trips but for whatever reason they just shrug them off and keep it moving on the path to full realization. I wonder what's the main causal factor here...

@Fede83 Do you practice shadow work? Maybe you are doing something to attract haters into your life?

I feel like i'm about to make major progress in my life. It's like the calm before the storm. I have been trying to present throughout the day. Full acceptance of the present moment, by just letting go in the moment. Whatever's here is all good, and i'm going to just keep surrendering to it. I feel a lot of energy gong to my third eye region when i try to let go. I also hold my breathe when i try to let go and it feels like i'm going to suffocate or burst in my head. Is this ego death? Being present throughout the day for as many moments possible and shadow work are going to be my focus moving forward. I expect major change from these 2 activities.

@zeroISinfinity Ok I will keep that in mind about truth. Shadow work, questioning beliefs etc is very important. Might not get you to self realization. But it will get to the root of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, fear, etc. I'd rather be an unrealized happy and satisfied super star then a fully realized miserable alcoholic. Thanks for commenting man it means a lot. I really look up to you on here.

@zeroISinfinity What did you do exactly to break through. I'm starting to just accept whatever there is in experience throughout the day, which i can tell is incredibly important. But this alone isn't enough. I have heard @Nahm talk about how i must have beliefs and thoughts that are preventing from me seeing the magic in the world and truly feeling love. What did you do to address your core beliefs and thoughts? Or did you just get to your cosmic orgasms by just meditating?

@Meditationdude No problem good luck man.

@Lento That all makes sense to me. I am also not speaking from experience. I can be present, and I can recognize the space within but I haven't had any major awakenings yet. I wonder if full acceptance and integration of the ego will ultimately lead one to transcend it. If this guy is talking about actively denying your ego, i agree with your def by the way, then i agree he's wrong. But if he means that through full acceptance of each moment, that will ultimately lead to the end of the thoughts arising, and you just live in the state of non-dual awareness until your body dies then that kinda makes sense. Have you gone full circle? Who is this "you" that is the master of the ego?

@zeroISinfinity Go right through the resistance? I feel a lot of resistance to deep breathing. How do i reconcile the paradox of forcing myself to deep breathly, vs just being present and letting the breathing do it's own thing?

@Meditationdude I would work with a teacher man. You seem like you have so much figured out, and you just have a few blind spots or kinks you need to workout. Go read some bio's and stories and see who's story or style resonates with you. You may have reached the end of what you can accomplish on your own.

@aklacor727 Got depressed about 3-4 years ago, I was 19, and after a year I finally got sick of it and it took action and completely transformed my life. Took my about 2 weeks to feel better than i had ever felt, and I thought i was done with personal development because i felt so amazing. Fast forward 6 months from that point, I reverted back to many pre-depression behaviors and life kinda went back to being dull. Started watching Leo's videos and started a meditation habit about 2.5 years ago. Now, i'm about 4 months into using this forum religiously and I feel like i'm close to a breakthrough like I was when i overcame depression. The key for me, and maybe for others too, is going to into your deep inner pain. Most of us are running from something within ourselves. If you feel restless or irritable just sitting down and being then you likely have something within you are not facing. Go into the pain and accept without judgement, practice unconditional presence, and I think on the other side is love.

This is a post from @Nahm's thread on meditation. I only just came upon it now and it has a lot of gems. Meditation Preparations & Considerations of The Temple (The Body) Maintain toxin free hygene, such as with: preservatives, fluoride, aluminum, mercury, & neurotoxin free products and water. Get a routine physical & full comprehensive blood report, and review it with your doctor (preferably a Holistic Dr) Eat clean. Food is mood, mood is clarity. Listen to your body & educate yourself about food; calories, nutrients, vitamins, supplements, etc. . Exercise if you are able, as early in the day as you are able. Don’t eat after 8pm, drink water instead. Be mindful of honesty, humility, & compassion. Pause to allow the presence of love when creating responses, vs mindlessly reacting. Get 8 hrs of sleep. Meditate early in the morning, before eating, and before any thought engaging activities like; - all screens, reading anything, listening to any thing or anyone, talking to anyone, etc. - thinking itself (learn not to engage in thinking, by being aware of it when it (the engagement / trigger-triggered) happens. Love yourself enough to do this, your quality of life will be greatly enhanced by your commitment and followthrough of daily meditation. This is ‘putting the experience of being’ - first - and then going about your day. It is a total game changer. Get up as early as needed to make this possible for yourself. You’ll only fall asleep earlier as a result, and enjoy being more aligned with the circadian rhythm of all life. Do not ask others to accommodate you so that you can do this. Accommodate them, if needed, so that you can do this. Do not create conditions or contingencies which “allow” that you can do this. Refrain from entangling any other person in ‘enabling’ your practice. Simply get up earlier, and be patient when tired, you’ll be falling asleep earlier soon. (Deeper Considerations) If the things above have been genuinely accommodated, and there is an overwhelming apparent struggle, such that you honestly can not meditate, beginning with just 10 minutes a day, that is fine. Do not judge yourself, love yourself - address this easily, and maturely by applying what is needed: Add creative expression in your days with what feels right for you, such as; journaling, creative writing, drawing, learning an instrument, singing, sculpting, building, carving, dancing - any act of creating and expressing, which feels good to you. Sign up for a drawing or painting class, etc. The past and or trauma may be deeply entwined in the ego, unknowingly suppressed, held out of the light of awareness. Be humble, and be smart - get help bringing things to the surface, into the light, out into the open. That is relief. Talk with a ‘wise’ & carefree person you know and trust, schedule time with practitioners of well being; massage, reiki, therapy, yoga, etc, - choose to experience the combination you are needing. You will be glad you did. Proper Foundation The quality of tomorrow’s meditation is impacted by all of the above. Recognize these as the basics, the foundation. This is - first “cleaning the house”. If you are not yet finding peace in meditation, the things above are likely insightful and actionable. Use them as a checklist, add to it what you learn works and doesn’t work for you. Be mindful of the process, not the goal or outcome. What you discover and accomplish yourself, will only enable you to help others with their suffering as well. Posture, Balance & Relaxation Sit with spine straight, entire body equally balanced, head tilted slightly forward. Scan for any muscles in tension - from balancing the body, and reposition in better balance. Repeat until seated in balance; drop all muscle tension, and see if you lean; if so, adjust again / reposition for balance. Relax every muscle, from crown of head, through body, to the toes - in waves of letting go, over and over. If you struggle to ‘find the particular muscle’ to be able to ‘let it go’, simply tense that muscle with the appropriate thought, ex: “tense the right shoulder” - this is to locate it specifically - only to relax it / let it go, specifically (only needed initially, if at all). Stay with each muscle until you feel it release: Feel the crown of the head muscles release, feel the temples release, feel the eye sockets release, feel the cheek muscles release, feel the neck muscles release, the shoulders, the upper back, the lower back, the arms, the hands, the fingers, the chest, the stomach, the hips, the thighs, the knees, the calves, the ankles, the feet, the toes - all tension pouring out through the toes. *Stay with each muscle until you feel it release, then move to the next. Be mindful, vigilant of any habit forming. Feel every step. Feel each specific muscle release. * Repeat this, from crown to toes, over and over, feeling each “pass” more deeply relaxing each targeted muscle than the pass before. Notice the entire body unifying in relaxation. Meditation Do not move the body, allow it to relax into deep sleep and disappear from sensation & awareness. Mind fully alert & present; awaken every cell, enthusiastic presence, a tiger at-the-ready to pounce. Notice all senses are one sense, being. Being is breathing, being is breathed in, being is breathed out. Notice the ineffable spaciousness, the silent emptiness. It is whole, perfect, calm, peaceful. It continues on in all directions. Revel in the perfect peace, in innocence, as you recognize the purity that you have always known. Allow Meditation “Practice” To Become A Meditative Lifestyle As you go about your day, notice this peace is still present, this silence, this being - is always present, always the soundbed underlying and allowing all sounds, the spaciousness underlying and allowing all objects and activities, the emptiness allowing all thoughts to arise. Carry this into each day, mindful of the effortless nature of awareness. Conscious of any tension in any muscle, relax it, mindful of the one sense; without identification, without reaction, peaceful non-engagement. Notice the arising perspectives of unification & connection. Surrender perspectives of separation by allowing them to pass, and return to the everpresent peace and silence which allows all things. When you notice reaction, wether muscular or mental, relax, detach by being again aware, non-reactionary. Even as reactions occur, wether physical, mental, or verbal, be aware of, not involved in. Relax crown to toes, effortless awareness is always available & ample. Notice the sound of a voice, is not the sound of your voice. Be that unattached, and that aware, ‘that’ voice is no longer your voice, it never was. You are all sounds, all voices, all things. Be aware all transpires in the ‘one sense’, precisely where it is seen, exactly where it is heard. One Sense, one awareness. Notice thoughts are not your thoughts, be aware thoughts are things, like trees are trees; there is no mechanism found for justification of “yours”, that is just another thought; awareness is unconditional and omnipresent, and never appears in pieces, and has never not appeared, it will never let you down. Notice there is one sense, one awareness, notice the body and mind are a body and mind which transpires in this peaceful awareness, notice a body and mind is not your body and mind, notice there is one sense, one awareness, all is transpiring and arising in. After some practice a couple new things arise... When you have returned home, in the peace of non-reaction, the finite ceo / “decision maker”/ over thinker/over thinking - naturally recedes, and the intelligence will manipulate the body (it actually is “the body”) , aligning things, stretching things, cracking things, etc, just allow this. It’s difficult not to mentally react to this at first because it’s new, just relax again, it is curative, trust it - notice a person is not doing this, infinite intelligence is. Mindful appreciation. With enough surrender, deep relaxation, the brain & body & thought will disappear from the one sense, from awareness, and only breathing remains. The breathe will minimize on it’s own until there is little to no breathing, (don’t “attempt” or “do” this). In “witnessing” the falsity or illusionary nature of the breathe, awareness is deeply “aware of awareness”. This is a euphoric experience. Don’t go telling people. They will not believe you, and you’ll sound crazy, cause, of course we have to breathe, otherwise we would not be “alive”. Next, Utilize The Emptied Mind For Self Inquiry

@Lento I also watched his video. Why is he wrong? Isn't the ultimate goal for full transcendence of the ego, and to live in a constant state of non-dual awareness motivated by love and intuition and not thinking and doership? What part of the ego can we befriend?

@Surfingthewave I also feel i am close too thank you for those words of encouragement. Yes, i still feel it's here inside of me I just feel disconnected from it. Unconditional presence is what is described in the article, i imagine that's the same idea.

https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/ Very powerful website. I have learned a lot from it over the past few days. I have been engaging in spiritual escapism. I am running from the restless feeling deep inside me. If i am just present with the moment, and let go to myself then i experience incredible resistance. On the other side of this restlessness is love and happiness. Two questions will guide me moving me forward as I practice other inner work. 1. What am i running from? 2. The practice of unconditional presence. Not a question haha I am close. Today i felt genuine progress. I am also going to start going for walks at night. I just went for a walk in the rain and I felt really good during and after. A key is to surrender to the present moment.Whatever the moment it holds it doesn't matter. Surrender. In the surrender to what is you will find what you have been looking for.

Is the entire spiritual seeker's path just an inability to sit with ourselves and be at peace? Is it our avoidance of the pain of the present when we just sit and feel whatever there is to be felt? Can the spiritual journey even be defined this so simplistically? Thoughts?

Do you practice shadow work? Maybe you have an integrated trauma or shadow side you haven't gone inside and acknowledged? Have you talked to an enlightenment coach, or talked 1-1 with someone who you perceive as truly awakened? There's a poster on here @LfcCharlie4 who speaks pretty confidently about how much help working with a teacher was for him. Maybe go through his post history and look at what he's saying, he seems like he's got the right idea about the spiritual path from what i've seen so far. Sounds like you're in a good position though. Maybe if you look inside and ask yourself you will find the answer you're looking for.

@Florian It resonated with me a lot, and I wasn't sure if it could help you. I am seeking a "better' life. Happiness, love, bliss, etc. Not sure if you're a "seeker" too, just thought i would share the resource.

@Surfingthewave Yea i read an article about spiritual escapism, and it really hit home. I think healing my inner trauma and reconnecting with my self is the key to my growth from here on out. A few years i got depressed, and after a year i finally got sick of it and completely transformed my life. I had never felt better. I always wondered what i did what worked such magic. I think i practiced some form of ad hoc inner work that compounded back then and that's what the "trick" was of my transformation. https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-escapism/ This is the website I found. What kind of inner work are you practicing now?