Raptorsin7

Enlightenment is not a concept. Enlightenment is not a theory. Enlightenment cannot be solved or rationalized. Enlightenment is felt. Don't think your way to salvation. Feel your way to salvation.

@Average Investor Incredible story man. I can't wait to follow your journal

I just bought 400$ worth of LSD I'm planning on doing weekend trips and going deep inside to inspect core beliefs about myself that are preventing me from experiencing love and happiness. My life is perfect. Literally. This is the truth. Everything is already perfect. Nothing needs to be changed. My life is fully compatible with unconditional love and happiness. This is it. But i don't feel it. I think i have conciously or subconsciously blocked my ability to feel emotional extremes. I feel emotionally numb. It's difficult to feel a lot. I think i did this is as a child because my parents react very negatively to emotional outbursts. I can see it in my grandma. One of my neighbors is an old lady who's husband just died and my grandma just kept saying "don't worry" over and over when the girl talked. My grandma supresses the extreme emotions from when her husband died I think. so everyone in my family had to learn to stunt their emotional development to prevent her from freaking out. I think at least not sure. The root doesn't really matter, other than going in and liberating myself from the toxic beliefs. I feel like i'm on a great path. I'm going to be doing weekly skype sessions with @Nahm so i can uncover toxic beliefs that are preventing my inner being from shining through. Been doing some inner work. But i am very resistant to it. My body/mind does not like going inside it seems. Doesn't matter. This is the path. I want love and happiness. I'm sick of feeling disconnected.

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/ @Nahm's website

@Rinne Why not use that money to hire a life coach so you can learn and get accountability?

@Jed Vassallo Where would seekers be without any teachers or teachings?

Are you addicted to thinking?

@Gneh Onebar What else are you doing in the sessions besides RASA that may be helping? I'm also going to make an appointment with Ramaji soon so i'm very curious to see how your journey goes. Keep us updated!

@purerogue I'm ready to handle it.

Very profound talk about happiness. I have struggled to find happiness for much my life and this video is the best i've seen on the topic.

I am already perfect. The way i feel is already perfect. There is nothing to change about me or my experience. New mantras

How to find myself: According to Nahm: Meditate, put on music you like, think of what you like & love, and fill up your dream board with it. I enjoy going for long walks. Eventually i will progress to runs, but right now i feel comfortable just going for long walks either at night or early in the morning. I have contacted my plug for LSD so i'm going to be doing a trip very soon. I practiced inner child work today. I didn't make huge progress but I think it's a habit that takes time. I am reconnecting with my child self. Which is great because I was an awesome kid I wish me now could raise younger me Two books on my list: The Mind Illuminated- i really want to have a more formal/structured path to my meditation Ask and it is given by Abraham Hicks- I really want to understand LoA better Today was an okay day. Not a backslide, but don't feel like I made a ton of progress either. Either way I feel confident overall moving forward. I have a clear sense of direction moving forward, somewhat haha

@Nahm Okay

@Bill W Okay. Just my experience, but if you take time to learn how to meditate properly it will do more for your life then any other practice or theory. When we got lost in our own stories, and try to solve everything by thinking it out we're fucked. Thinking our way to enlightenment won't work. Thinking our way to the point where we realize that thinking won't work however will work. The fact that you are in AA is a great step. A lot of "smart" people laugh at the idea of surrendering to a higher power, needing to follow steps etc. You seem to be like me and you spend a lot of time thinking about this work. How much time do you spend feeling this work?

@Bill W Do you have a meditation practice?

@seeking_brilliance Some people have a break through where it's like an on off switch. Except the switch can never be turned off again. I guess that's full self realization.

@purerogue Oh okay. Yea i don't really understand that yet.

@seeking_brilliance Do you remember the day the switch flipped? What was that like?

@purerogue Yes i can use both. I was on a walk last night and i was applying beginners mind to everything for a while. Just if anything came up i'd say I don't know and return to just not thinking. Then i would introduce a goal like i want to feel happy. And i'd try and let those thoughts run it's course because it's what i want. Then when i recognized the mind was getting off track i'd come back to beginners mind and try to deposit the goal again. is this the process you're talking about of using both?

@Fede83 Shadow work, inner child work, any form of inner work is hugely important in my opinion. Maybe you are too loving and positive so you are allowing toxic people into your life? Ultimately you are doing something, either consciously or unconsciously to attract these kinds of people into your life. Haters could just be a natural part of life too, i'm not sure. It depends on how much it bothers you. If it's a huge deal and it's affecting your happiness and life then I would try to a bit more discerning of who you allow "in" to your life. I would bring some balance by being a bit less loving and open maybe? Like even self realized teachers i watch aren't fully loving and open in every experience. Sometimes they are hard and severe depending on the person. Some people are just plain toxic and if you let them into your life they will suck the life out of you. They can't help it, they are just fucked and they will try and fuck you too.

@purerogue I don't understand. What do you mean i think i'm one of the things?

@archi Do you big trips too? What does is microdose for you?

@Nahm I don't know "myself" yet. All i know is i'm not the voice in the head that I thought was in control of everything, but in reality the guy can't get the job done. And i can be present and somewhat still, but there's no me here in any sense that makes sense to me. Can't apply something that i don't even recognize in direct experience.

@purerogue Sure, i moved from thinking constantly to just sitting there and "trying" to feel and be with whatever arises. But i don't understand the significance of that...

@seeking_brilliance I gave myself a little pep talk and i cried a little bit. But no intense feeling. It helps when my hold my hand in prayer and close my eyes and just feel. It feels like my mind is speaking to my inner being. The main thing i'm planning on doing is inner child work and self love practices moving forward. Plus meditation. I also have a buddy who's getting me 200 dollars worth of LSD so i can do trips on the weekends. So is my issue right now based on my heart and feelings? A lot of what i want comes down to feeling. Like i want happiness, i want enlighenment, i want to feel amazing. All this stuff comes down to how i feel moment to moment. Because most of the time i feel numb. Are you past this point in journey @seeking_brilliance