Raptorsin7

@VeganAwake What would you call the thing typing for VeganAwake?

@LfcCharlie4 @VeganAwake Lol i've been following your guys' back and forths' for a while. The title of the thread made me smile

@Chumbimba $15000 seems like a lot to spend if you don't have a lot of money. Try a 10 day meditation retreat at a nearby vipassana center or something if you want to go on a retreat. A lot of places don't charge first timers too.

I have a bunch of supplements. I just took L-theanine and the calming effects are really dramatic. I feel like almost drowsy but not quite. It's sapped my anxiety in half. This is the strongest supplement i've taken. I'm excited to use this early in the morning, because I think it will be easier to function with a quieted mind throughout the day. I think the anti-anixety and calming effects of the supplement will also suppress thinking. So far I have L-theanine, Vitamind D3, GABA, Fish Oil pills, and Liposomal Vitamin C.

@zeroISinfinity Okay

@Surfingthewave Congratulations! Good luck and i'm happy for you that you're moving on from the forum

@Leo Gura Lol. Good luck with political analysis that demonizes 90% of the country as bigots and racists. Let's see how that works out

@Leo Gura Yea i agree with all that. I hope someone can actually do effectively what Dave Rubin tried to do. Critique the left from above, without turning into a right wing shill like Rubin. So much nonsense coming out of channels like TYT and Majority Report.

@Leo Gura I meant to describe his transition from TYT(green) to his new show (Orange/Blue). This isn't an example of someone moving up the spiral and growing consciously. I mean sure his behavior is typical orange going after money and fame. I don't disagree with what you said.

@andyjohnsonman Ruben wasn't green. He was orange, who adopted green beliefs when he was apart of TYT. I don't think Dave Rubin's transition is based on conscious growth from one stage to another. He saw economic opportunity in the culture wars and so he exploited the intellectual conservative niche in online politics. I don't think spiral dynamics is the best model to describe Dave Rubin's behavior here.

@andyjohnsonman Be careful with Rubin. He's basically a stage orange commentator who saw more economic opportunity in pandering to stage blue conservatives. I don't think he's in it for anything other than fame and prosperity. I think following political commentators is toxic af, but i'm pretty sure there are more reliable people to follow that can critique the left without obvious pandering to conservatives. I don't think there are many stage yellow political commentators. Even guys that get thrown around as informative media, like Michael Brooks or Sam Seder, are toxic green who demonize lower stages. Political commentary is mostly just different groups demonizing each other without much acceptance or tolerance of others' views and perspectives. I got sucked into following a lot political commentary and it's really just toxic. Learn enough to be informed but don't get caught up into watching too much. Political commentators are not healthy, self-actualizing people. They're reactionaries with big egos. Both sides are guilty of this. Have you ever heard the saying you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Don't make 1 of those people Dave Rubin or any other political commentator.

The author is this video posts on here sometimes, so maybe he can help clarify. Why does this video describe awakening as a sudden progress, where he's basically done after it happens. He seems to describe himself him as a seeker who had the sudden experience, and then the game was over. Could someone take DMT and after a single dose experience the kind of breakthrough that's described above? Can anyone explain more on this kind of sudden awakening that seemed to end the entire seeking process, versus a series of awakenings?

@tsuki Congrats on the new job man

On gratitude: Gratitude is a topic I hear thrown around a lot. I have struggled with it because I haven't felt grateful for anything, so when i practice gratitude it's usually been forced and inauthentic. I wonder if gratitude can be work to bring an unhappy person to happiness, or if it only works to boost one's unhappiness once they have already found stable levels of happiness. However, recently I come across something in my life that I am actually grateful for and it makes me excited because I view it as a sign of progress. I'm grateful that right now i'm depressed and unhappy, and I was so dissatisfied with my life that I became a seeker of enlightenment and happiness. Without this down period of my life I would have never have found actualized.org and started becoming a hardcore seeker. I was literally fucked had i continued with the normal path. I feel bad for people that don't have this kind of realization, and end up chasing some object to try to obtain happiness and love. It's funny because when i talk about my unhappiness it always makes my family visibly uncomfortable. But it's literally the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I am going for genuine happiness and love here that is lasting. This is ultimate power. This is what i've been after my entire life. I'm so lucky to be where i'm at.

@Average Investor I got 70 tabs for $400. Where are you from? Yeah i'm not planning on doing high doses. I do fear a "bad" trip so I'm going to be pretty thorough in how I plan the trip out. I've done LSD before so I know what the experience is like at least a bit. But i've never done it with the intention of going inside and uncovering beliefs and finding happiness etc.

@Average Investor Haha I'm not sure how good of a deal i got tbh. I'm bad with money I just throw it around I have a drug test kit. I'm planning on testing mine before I take it. I also gave some too my friends so i'll ask them if they tested it too to double check. I'm very excited to use these substances for spiritual progress. I think there is a lot to be learned if these things are used properly. I'm going back to my apartment today, i've spent the last few weeks back home with my parents, and i'm planning on making a long thread to ask people the best way to trip to accomplish my goals. Hopefully you find something of value there.

@zeroISinfinity I'm not sure what i really love or like to be honest. I want to feel amazing and feel happy in the moment that is what I want. Once i feel good and amazing then I will think about what i really love. I honestly don't love anyone or anything right now. Like I like meditation and yoga and working out because it makes me feel better and that's all I really care about.

@zeroISinfinity What made you seek in the first place though? Did you have a random moment of compassion that drove you? For me it's literally just happiness and satisfaction with life. I feel very little for people around me tbh. I guess I care for my human being but that's about it. Doesn't matter though ultimately. Seeking my own happiness will lead to me helping others.

@zeroISinfinity Me. I went for 2 hour walk the other day and that sentence clicked for me. I have been thinking about how to be happy and satisfied for so long because I think i'm smart. But i spent no time actually feeling. I realized what i want is to feel happiness. I don't want happiness, i want to feel. I know i have to fully accept every thought and feeling in the moment. This is it. My happiness is right here. It's still hard though. I see the path more clearly now. But i'm still not done. Still not feeling the love yet. But i'm making progress for sure now. Accepting and fulling acknowledging my own unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life has been huge. I used to be afraid to admit my own unhappiness, but the more I own it the better I feel about my whole situation.

Insight into childhood: When i was in pre-school and kindergarten (so 5 and 6?) I used to have a hard time being alone in class away from my mom. My mom would drop me off at school and I would scream and cry like crazy because I didn't want her to leave. I remember literally screaming and crawling in the hallways of my pre-school because i just didn't want her to leave. I remember my pre-school would just let me play with the best toys and I didn't even participate in the class work some days because they just wanted to keep my calm. I don't have the emotional extremes anymore like i did when i was a kid. But i think that's a major issue in my life. I have a feeling that i stunted my emotional development to prevent these kinds of extremes. I don't experience crazy crying outbursts in my life so i have avoided the lows, but i also don't feel like high levels of happiness or love (or even medium levels tbh). I do wonder what feeling i was running away from when my mom would leave me at school. Fear of abandonment i guess? Not sure why I had a fear of abandonment as a kid, my parents weren't divorced and i'm pretty sure my family was usually with me. I wonder if I was just so sensitive to the abandonment that when my mom would go to work, that was enough to just trigger the baby version of me and I just couldn't cope. Hopefully someone who is reading this understands childhood trauma. Is it enough for me to just go inside and acknowledge the memories? I feel like i'm open to reliving the memories. My childhood traumas usually just involved me crying like crazy and freaking out, and either my parents hitting me or locking me outside until i calmed down. Dam I wish my parent's knew what they were doing better. I definitely resent my parents for having no idea how to raise happy well adjusted children. I really do not love them. It's probably because I have little capacity to love in me in general, so there's not much left over for them. I like to view our relationship as a business transaction. They fucked my childhood. I spend their money. I really gotta transcend this childish notion eventually All in all though I like my childhood. All that matters is the present anyway. It doesn't matter what my childhood was, or what my parents did. All that matters is I learn to accept and integrate these traumatic experiences to improve the quality of my life.

@Raphael Awesome job man. Good luck in the new year

@cetus56 Lol why is that bad? This guy found something that worked for him and improved his direct experience? He shouldn't share it?

Very cool. Thanks for posting. I'm going to start using psychedelics to further my growth. Any tips for a beginner? I've done LSD before but never in a self-help setting or intention.

@LfcCharlie4 I'm not sure tbh. Right now i'm a seeker. But i've been on the other end where you come out feeling amazing. I couldn't shut up to my friends and family about how they were basically all idiots because they don't how good it's possible to feel. So at least you're not calling everyone else stupid lol. I think if your main goal is help people. Then spend more time being strategic about how you relay your message. Like maybe write a post about common pitfalls seekers fall into and how RASA and 1-1 coaching is useful to address those problems. Meet people where they're at. But at some deep level people will still be jaded by your enthusiasm. People are self absorbed. Someone could have enlightenment in a pill, and people would still be skeptical and try to denigrate you. It's people being people