Raptorsin7

@Serotoninluv 95+

@modmyth What do you want then?

I've come to the realization that when i sit in silence and feel what's inside, there is a restless feeling or sort of discomfort. When i try to be fully present, and surrender to what is, I get weird vibrations in my face and I can feel the resistance to fully letting go. My mind/ego is clinging so hard and it won't fully surrender. The process of surrendering feels a bit violent/uncomfortable. But i also realize that on the other side of this surrender is love. But I just can't take the plunge. How do i move past this? Am I being limited by my own framing of the situation in thinking? Thoughts?

How do we balance authenticity and honesty with protecting our own feelings and ego and the egos and feelings of others. My family is somewhat dysfunctional, and I just got into an argument with my grandma because she was yelling at my brother to do stuff and he ignored her and left the house. Then she started just complaining out loud and getting mad. I tried arguing with her and telling her to stop telling people what to do, and how she should just let my brother do what he wants because her judgement and nagging makes things worse. I honestly wanted to tell her that she is a miserable person and she will die unhappy and miserable like everyone else in my family if she keeps acting like that. I feel like it's a hurtful thing to say. But it's also how i feel genuinely and part of me wants to say it to her. She's not a terrible person, like she does a lot for me and has had a hard life. But it makes me mad when i see her behavior and i know that the way she acts is the reason why I have so many toxic beliefs to do.

@Shin How do you unprogram yourself from beliefs about your inferiority? We are already perfect. But most of us just don't feel it and don't believe it. How do you bridge the gap?

@purerogue His base will love it. He can play the strong man argument in the debates with any Democrat too. Imagine him standing next to Bernie discussing foreign conflict. He will eat him alive. Bernie's compassion and common sense will look weak next to Trump's fear mongering and tough guy stance.

@VeganAwake What would you call the thing typing for VeganAwake?

@LfcCharlie4 @VeganAwake Lol i've been following your guys' back and forths' for a while. The title of the thread made me smile

@Chumbimba $15000 seems like a lot to spend if you don't have a lot of money. Try a 10 day meditation retreat at a nearby vipassana center or something if you want to go on a retreat. A lot of places don't charge first timers too.

I have a bunch of supplements. I just took L-theanine and the calming effects are really dramatic. I feel like almost drowsy but not quite. It's sapped my anxiety in half. This is the strongest supplement i've taken. I'm excited to use this early in the morning, because I think it will be easier to function with a quieted mind throughout the day. I think the anti-anixety and calming effects of the supplement will also suppress thinking. So far I have L-theanine, Vitamind D3, GABA, Fish Oil pills, and Liposomal Vitamin C.

@zeroISinfinity Okay

@Surfingthewave Congratulations! Good luck and i'm happy for you that you're moving on from the forum

@Leo Gura Lol. Good luck with political analysis that demonizes 90% of the country as bigots and racists. Let's see how that works out

@Leo Gura Yea i agree with all that. I hope someone can actually do effectively what Dave Rubin tried to do. Critique the left from above, without turning into a right wing shill like Rubin. So much nonsense coming out of channels like TYT and Majority Report.

@Leo Gura I meant to describe his transition from TYT(green) to his new show (Orange/Blue). This isn't an example of someone moving up the spiral and growing consciously. I mean sure his behavior is typical orange going after money and fame. I don't disagree with what you said.

@andyjohnsonman Ruben wasn't green. He was orange, who adopted green beliefs when he was apart of TYT. I don't think Dave Rubin's transition is based on conscious growth from one stage to another. He saw economic opportunity in the culture wars and so he exploited the intellectual conservative niche in online politics. I don't think spiral dynamics is the best model to describe Dave Rubin's behavior here.

@andyjohnsonman Be careful with Rubin. He's basically a stage orange commentator who saw more economic opportunity in pandering to stage blue conservatives. I don't think he's in it for anything other than fame and prosperity. I think following political commentators is toxic af, but i'm pretty sure there are more reliable people to follow that can critique the left without obvious pandering to conservatives. I don't think there are many stage yellow political commentators. Even guys that get thrown around as informative media, like Michael Brooks or Sam Seder, are toxic green who demonize lower stages. Political commentary is mostly just different groups demonizing each other without much acceptance or tolerance of others' views and perspectives. I got sucked into following a lot political commentary and it's really just toxic. Learn enough to be informed but don't get caught up into watching too much. Political commentators are not healthy, self-actualizing people. They're reactionaries with big egos. Both sides are guilty of this. Have you ever heard the saying you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Don't make 1 of those people Dave Rubin or any other political commentator.

The author is this video posts on here sometimes, so maybe he can help clarify. Why does this video describe awakening as a sudden progress, where he's basically done after it happens. He seems to describe himself him as a seeker who had the sudden experience, and then the game was over. Could someone take DMT and after a single dose experience the kind of breakthrough that's described above? Can anyone explain more on this kind of sudden awakening that seemed to end the entire seeking process, versus a series of awakenings?

@tsuki Congrats on the new job man

On gratitude: Gratitude is a topic I hear thrown around a lot. I have struggled with it because I haven't felt grateful for anything, so when i practice gratitude it's usually been forced and inauthentic. I wonder if gratitude can be work to bring an unhappy person to happiness, or if it only works to boost one's unhappiness once they have already found stable levels of happiness. However, recently I come across something in my life that I am actually grateful for and it makes me excited because I view it as a sign of progress. I'm grateful that right now i'm depressed and unhappy, and I was so dissatisfied with my life that I became a seeker of enlightenment and happiness. Without this down period of my life I would have never have found actualized.org and started becoming a hardcore seeker. I was literally fucked had i continued with the normal path. I feel bad for people that don't have this kind of realization, and end up chasing some object to try to obtain happiness and love. It's funny because when i talk about my unhappiness it always makes my family visibly uncomfortable. But it's literally the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I am going for genuine happiness and love here that is lasting. This is ultimate power. This is what i've been after my entire life. I'm so lucky to be where i'm at.

@Average Investor I got 70 tabs for $400. Where are you from? Yeah i'm not planning on doing high doses. I do fear a "bad" trip so I'm going to be pretty thorough in how I plan the trip out. I've done LSD before so I know what the experience is like at least a bit. But i've never done it with the intention of going inside and uncovering beliefs and finding happiness etc.

@Average Investor Haha I'm not sure how good of a deal i got tbh. I'm bad with money I just throw it around I have a drug test kit. I'm planning on testing mine before I take it. I also gave some too my friends so i'll ask them if they tested it too to double check. I'm very excited to use these substances for spiritual progress. I think there is a lot to be learned if these things are used properly. I'm going back to my apartment today, i've spent the last few weeks back home with my parents, and i'm planning on making a long thread to ask people the best way to trip to accomplish my goals. Hopefully you find something of value there.

@zeroISinfinity I'm not sure what i really love or like to be honest. I want to feel amazing and feel happy in the moment that is what I want. Once i feel good and amazing then I will think about what i really love. I honestly don't love anyone or anything right now. Like I like meditation and yoga and working out because it makes me feel better and that's all I really care about.

@zeroISinfinity What made you seek in the first place though? Did you have a random moment of compassion that drove you? For me it's literally just happiness and satisfaction with life. I feel very little for people around me tbh. I guess I care for my human being but that's about it. Doesn't matter though ultimately. Seeking my own happiness will lead to me helping others.