Raptorsin7

THIS IS RETARDED. WHY WOULD I NOT LIVE LIKE THIS. WHAT IS THE FKING POINT, OF NOT LIVING LIKE THIS LOL. fking retarded design. Idiot fking creator. Why the fk would you do this to yourself? I don't know? Fk this. FUCKKKK. WHAT THE FUCK. I'M GOING IN AND OUT. DUDE FK YOU PEOPLE READING THIS. FKING IDIOTS. Im tadjflakdjflkjsdaklfjklfdJ f Fk the audience. WHO GIVES A FK. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT. THIS IS FKING RETARDED. Why would I not want to live this way. Fking retard designer. Like there has to be a better way to get tuned in. I don't want to use fking drugs all the time, what the fuck, But who cares, i dont give a fk. aHHFHAFLDIFHADKLFHALKJFKD q

24 years of wasted potentoal. Fking bull shit life. Idiot family. So much morein me that was fking not allowed out. Fuck this, and fuck everyone.

This is the battle wow. I am going in and out of being tuned out and in.

Wow. I feel fully connected to the journal. This crazy. The sense of connection is "other wordly". I see what these words point to now. Words cannot really describe how great this expeience is. Wow these drugs are amazing. Haha it's insane how much growth can occur from these subtances. I just accomplished more in like 2 hours on LSD then i did in the last month of "FULL TIME recovery. LOL

I just want someone to put me out of this misery. I finally understand suicide lol. It's not that people want to die, it's that they want there old way of living to die. They want to find a way of living that feels good. That's the point of suicide, and the negative experience in genreral, it provides contrast/context from which to choose the next experience.

@ZenBlue Thank you

I did 1.5 tab of LSD. Here we go. I'm expecting a breakthrough into bliss.

@ZenBlue Yeah the hysteria is getting out of control, it's tough. This pandemic could last months, and the way people are responding it's going to 6 months of fear based survival thinking. Do you have any concern about the virus? I have 0, but idk if that's wise or foolish.

@LfcCharlie4 No I agree man. Life didn't really begin for me until my awakening. I had a great child hood up until about age 9, but since that point i was always unconsciously seeking happiness but never found it until now. I'm not even close to done embodiment tbh, i have a lot of toxic psychology to up root but my life is completely different now. It's not a stretch to say I was born again. I don't like all the non-duallity talk tbh. I think it's confusing and i wish there was more practical language. There's a reason the budhha preached against asecthisscsm lol

@zeroISinfinity What's an advaita bear?

@LfcCharlie4 It's always dependent on the person. What worked for me may not work for someone else, because we are all unqie and have different histories. But enlightenment is the greatest thing to ever happen to me and it's not even close. I think this needs to be said first and if it doesn't resonate then so be it, but i can't not recommend the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

@LfcCharlie4 I understand. But i think what works, works. So enlightenment is the really the best advice you could give someone, if you could make it work for them. But i agree not everyone should go straight for enlightenment, other pd might help them more idk. I can only speak from direct experience, and for me when i went all in on enlightenment and stopped caring about anything else my life dramatically improved. I can only recommend what I know works, and this I am confident works.

Dam I think i had a break through. I need to channel my depression into psychotic competitenvess. This will allow to move up the emotional scale inot this stage. And it will be great because i can channel this into my video game. Competition here we come. Dam I think i'm going to hit platinum by Friday. I feel a win streak coming.

Okay I didn't do LSD today. Maybe saturday. But i feel better. I think i've been lislabeling the emotional scale. I was thinking i've been stuck at boredom and contentment lmao. Nope. I've been stuck at the lowest tier, like insecurity, shame, guilt, fear, worthlessness, powerlessness. This is where i've been living. These emotions are what motivate toxic competitvness, anger, tilt, etc. That's the relationship. But I think the relationship is backwards of what I just wrote. The toxic thoughts are producing the emotions as a guide to change thinknig. How do i know my thinking needs to change because My emotions are telling me this doesn't feel good. So, here's the deal. I need to change thinking. But i also care about my website. So perhaps setting the goal on the dream board of what i want next in the website, which is challenger in league, and then picking good feeling thoughts. I need to approach the scale from a feel better perspective. That's the purpose of using the scale. By changing the character of my thoughts, and the way i feel from music/media i can move up the scale. And that will make me feel better. Righteous anger FEELS BETTER than powerlessness. It's not about being the best, or getting the best feeilng. It's about moving up the scale, to feel better.

@Hello from Russia I'm on NA west, and i'm a gold 4 adc. @kira Have you found god yet? I recommend awakening first before pursuing a business/life purpose. I also highly recommend doing Leo's life purpose course. My idea just came to me from a long meditation session, but i honestly don't think it would be this easy for me if i wasn't already awakened. Where would you peg yourself on spiral dynamics?

Pick a good feeling thought: What can i do next? My goal is to be challenger in league of legends My goal is to be happy and feel good Time to push the limits. I'm taking LSD today. Today's the day i break through.

@Keyhole It's subtle, i'd say i noticed pretty quickly, maybe within a few days. So much is dependent on other facotrs, like diet, exercise etc. I think diet, exercise, are most important and then nootropics act as a subtle enhancement. Like right now my diet sucks, so i'm taking the nootropics but i don't notice that dramatic of an effect.

@Charlotte I find GABA better than the L-theanine. Lions mane is solid too.

@SOUL I can do that already. What's next?

@SOUL How do you go from recognizing that I, am and god are illusory concepts, to direct experience of the fact that these concepts no longer have an effect on awareness.

To reach a state of being where the words I, am , and god don't mean anything in awareness. Wow. I never really thought that was the goal but it's true. I want detachment. I want genuine freedom. Complete freedom. Let go of the self referntial thinking and behavior. You'll be fine without it. You can survive without the thoughts about yoursef. YOu are that which is prior to.

@ZenBlue Hmm, maybe we have a different definition. I also get profound insights and see the world differently, but i don't consider my third eye opened. Maybe i want my crown shakra opened, and i've been mislaebling the chakras? How do you know if your third eye is open?

@ZenBlue How did you open your third eye? I'm in the process of opening mine now. I've only opened it fully once on LSD, otherwise it's just cracking and slightly popping but no full opening.

@dimitri He's the man haha. I watched his video 3 years about how meditation is the best thing to do to improve your life. Had no idea bout the path, enlightenment, etc. Completely changed my life lmao.

@dimitri Yeah i think 1 tab will be enough for me to. I will look into 5 Meo if the LSD doesn't work for me. I don't mind the length of the LSD high as long as I can hit the peak. I actually feel like kinda high on LSD right now, my baseline is just naturally high and psychidelic now. But i need a bit more expansion to surrender fully to the bliss.