Raptorsin7

@Koeke I mean stuff like finding a long term relationship, and career. Well are you enlightened yet? You don't think you need one but who knows how it will take you without one. I think there's levels to awakening so my perspective could change, but I've lived life with my current unhappy state and I'm not really in a rush to get out in the world until I make some progress with my state of being.

@Heaven Hey! Get your own thread buddy, now that you got value from the answer there's none left for me. So selfish...

@James123 Thanks, But i feel like i've already spent so much time in silence with meditation and it's not really working. I've had a breakthrough experience with psychs so i kind of know what a breakthrough looks like, but i just don't know if sitting in silence and being will get me there. I guess patience is key, i'll keep trying. When you say darkness, you mean like turn off all my lights? I usually close my eyes and lay down when i meditate.

@dimitri Thanks tips. That's like saying i need more good life, because i don't have a good life. Thanks for trying though.

@Koeke I'm in a similar boat as you in the sense i'm seeking enlightenment because of dissatisfaction with life and unhappniess. I'm going all in on enlightenment and dealing with this first before i deal with other parts of my life, i'm 24, but i'm also pretty privileged so i don't know if this option is available for everyone. I'd say find a teacher or guru to work with on a regular basis and go from there. Don't spin your wheels going the path alone. Apparently it's pretty rare to get enlightened without the aid of a teacher.

@hamedsf I understand, but do you honestly have no expectation from meditation? Seems unlikely that you sit with no expectation of anything and just keep showing up expecting nothing and getting nothing. What are your meditation sessions like, what do you experience? What changes from beginning to end?

@dimitri You must feel really good typing that, but i feel nothing from it and it's not helping at all haha. You would think if you typed something from love, that made you feel good, that it would resonate with love within me and i'd get something from it. But apparently good feeling and love isn't enough?

@Brahman Thanks. It's not confusing but i think there's an important gap that isn't being addressed. Acceptance, dropping expectations etc is for the purpose of achieving a better state, or addressing the lack or seeking in my current state. But is that all there is too it? Accept each coming moment and eventually through enough acceptance there will be an aha moment? There's nothing else to say on the topic? How did you stumble upon acceptance of sensations as a practice, and what kind of changes in direct experience do you get from your meditation sessions?

@Brahman So acceptance of what it is, and letting going of striving? I'm not disagreeing that it could work, but isn't this advice just lay down surrender and wait for something to happen, but without expectation?

@Jacobsrw What is the difference between longer sessions and shorter ones? I've done multi hour sits but I've yet to have any kind of major breakthrough with just sitting. I've used psychs before but i'm going to take a break for a while, and recently every time I take LSD I vomit and the trips aren't that great. What would I get out of let's say an hour of mantra meditation that I'm not getting out of my current 30 minute guided sits? What are your meditation sessions like?

I've regressed a bit over these past few days, but today i'm going to get to bed really early, i'd say in bed at 9, and then try again tmrw. I received great advice on this forum once, about how the most important times are right before we go to bed, and right when we wake up. These are two battle grounds i've been losing pretty consistently for the last while. Even on days i manage to meditate for an hour or two i don't really feel that much better. I wonder if my time would be better spent focusing on my energy on what i do right when i wake up, and before i go to bed. Tonight i'm going to read more of LOC 1000, and do a 30 minute guided inquiry by Mooji before bed.

Sweet, Ramaji agreed to work with me despite the psychedelic use. I am really enjoying his book, and i expect to make some major progress working with him. I've done a mooji guided inquiry over the past few days and i think that will be my go to meditation for the next few weeks. The past few days i've felt more growth, and less like a depressed victim. The keys to this imo are less phone usage, better diet, meditation, and just a will to change and a desire to not go down like a loser. From now until i work with Ramaji i don't want to smoke any weed either, these 2 weeks could be a nice reset for me as i get some progress back and get out of this rut.

Feeling better today after a few days of working on the farm. I believe that constant phone use, porn use, weed, junk food, and not taking responsibility and initiative have been hurting me over the past few months. These past 2 days i've been much better in these areas and i feel better already. There is a yo-yo to my personal development and i'm not sure how to address this. One moment i'm on the path, making progress expecting a breakthrough, the next moment i'm eating wendy's everyday and complaining about how much my life sucks. I don't want to be a loser, and i want to be happy. I've made an appointment with Ramaji for next monday, but i am concerned that he won't be willing to give me RASA because i've done psychedelics recently. If he isn't willing to work with me it's not the end of the world, i will just have to pursue the path on my own for the time being then. I'll likely seek out a psychiatrist and a psychologist if things with Ramaji don't work out. I do really hope he will work with me so i can finally end the seeking stage of my life, but i've broken through to happiness on my own before, and if need be i will do it again.

@EddieEddie1995 Thanks for the post. I'm using a shadow work journal from loneerwolf.com and I've only done 1 prompt but it seems pretty good. Shadow work has been a practice I've been putting off for a while so i'm excited to see how it affects me.

I've had this experience with my dreams for years now, and i'm curious if anyone has any understanding into this phenomena. I sometimes have dreams with very interesting and captivating story lines. The dreams sometimes have elements that resemble my actual life, but usually there are some major differences. The main thing i notice about these dreams is how much better they are than my normal life. I remember just being captivated in the dream, and when i wake up i usually spend a few hours just going over the dream in my head because my life is so bad in comparison to how to interesting the dreams were. Is there any value in analyzing these dreams, or is there something to learn here that i can take to improve my life? Any thoughts or insights are appreciated.

@Nahm Okay. Maybe I'm not doing it long enough. How many hours in a day should I do this? Also, why stomach breathing? My break through came from released tension in the head. Shouldn't it be attention on the head breathing?

I did a kundalini meditation last night and I actually noticed some major energetic changes. I felt sort of waves of energy come and go. I want to do more kundalini meditation, and kundalini yoga or kriya yoga

@Nahm I do anywhere from 30 to 60 mins of laying down and trying to focus on breathing each day but it doesn't work. By doesn't work I mean I never reach a place of being, where I say okay this is it, this is the way to be in the world that is actually enjoyable and worth living for. I'm willing to accept the fact that I'm not a person, and I understand what you wrote but I'm still scratching my head as to how to actually experience that aha moment. Theres tension in my head and on the crown, that still has yet to be released in like 5 months. That's the closest I am to any real progress.Release all tension in head = break through I've been seeking I think..

@Leo Gura Yeah goggins has admitted that hes not yoda,which is an admission that hes lacking in wisdom and theres more he hasn't understood yet.

@Leo Gura David goggins preaches suffering through pushing yourself into uncomfortable situations. Goggins is paradoxical. He's clearly preaching from a higher perspective but hes so egotistical and attached to views about himself Doesn't this contradict spiritual wisdom of surrendering, letting go etc?

@NorthNow I want happiness because anything else I'd want in life is with the subtle expectation that the want would bring happiness. Awakening to me Is awakening to peace and happiness so I can then enjoy my life so thats why I'm pursuing it. That depends on what you want?

I gotta stop playing the victim here. I do not like the path I'm going down, this is getting ridiculous. I don't know how long it will take, but each day is a new day and I want to change for the better. I think the first thing to deal with is the main addictions and bad habits. Eating junk food, constant phone use, porn use, not exercising. I want to say I got this etc. But I'm worried I'm just going to fail again and then keep repeating this cycle. 1 day at a time. Today was a bad day, but tmrw a new day. sugar is poison. I bet my diet is my biggest limiter now. I'm likely type 2 diabetic atm, but I know I can discipline myself and change my diet to be healthier. Please god, or any being listening, please help me get healthier and show me the light. No more complaining and being a victim. There are no excuses for this mysery, I can rise above this.

@mandyjw Thanks. Yeah it kinda sucks but I got nothing else going so I'm sticking it out. A nice thing about being at a low like this I'd the fact I'm open for big change now. Dont be surprised if I start posting in a few weeks about a major break through.

Today i'm going to focus on my diet. I'm not going to drink any thing besides water and tea, and i'm not going to do my typical late night junk food binge. I'm going to just focus on 1 thing at a time, so diet is the main focus. I also have week 2 of the master class on energy work called duality. The first week was an okay intro, they gave us a grounding technique about really feeling the presence behind the eyes, I didn't get much out of it tbh. Apparently there's parts of the course about connecting with intuiton, spirit guides, and cleaning the chakras which sounds more in line with where i'm at. I have an energy blockage in the third eye, and my heart chakra is closed so hopefully I get some good techniques that help with that.

You're speaking about contrasting experiences. I have no contrast. My life is just bland. There is no up where life is awesome, and then a temporary down or something. I don't think I've ever been really angry, sad, etc in years i'm completely emotionally suppressed at this point. I don't know if you've felt the contrast of being depressed and then making a transition to being happy. I've had it. The happy part is way better lol, and it can exist without the down, the down isn't even necessary it's just something i'm stuck with now. I agree with your point about hacking your set point to appreciate everything, that's my hope is to just love all of life and just enjoy the ride, but right now that isn't the case. I know relative to other people i'm really lucky, I'm not really jealous of anyone, I think most people are delusional and don't know how good their lives could be so, they live in that not so blissful ignorance of what's out there. I appreciate your effort, but words can only do so much in these situations. I'm going to start getting RASA soon so i'll see if a different teacher and technique can shake me out of this funk, but only time will tell