Raptorsin7

@Preety_India I know I have issues and yes I will work on myself. I should rephrase. It's not that I don't value a womans accomplishments in the way you're saying. if my partner achieved something they valued I would be happy for them, and I'd be happy that they were happy. But when it comes to choosing a partner I don't care about success/Income come the same way I care about looks/femininity/character etc

@Preety_India I'm sorry that this thread hurt you. If it makes you feel better I'm 25 I live with my parents and I basically have the life style of a 15 year old, except I work 4 days a week at a dead end job. I'm not exactly a catch Haha

@VeganAwake I've been listening to Fred Davis recently I think he's great, who do you think are the most direct teachers?

That is not true. Men not valuing woman's success for a partner is not because they are intimated. I have faith in my own ability to be successful, a woman's bank account and status means nothing to me. It's a matter of what people value, not insecurity. I'm also not saying that a woman who earns a lot more than her partner can't have an awesome relationship.

@Roy I don't understand what you're saying. Are you equating those two statements? I agree things need to change, but in the meantime the phenomena will exist who knows how long it will take to change

That's not the problem lol, everyone is making this mistake. It's about men not valuing woman's success when choosing a potential partner. An average looking woman with average character/grace who earns 300k a year will likely expect a man in that income/class bracket. But high value men don't value the woman's income the way she values his.

@SamC Great summary thanks. @mandyjw My objective was just to point out this phenomena. Whatever insecurities I have related to this topic aren't a huge concern for me tbh. I don't find success a particularly attractive trait, vs looks, character, intelligence etc. I have no desire to change those beliefs

@mandyjw I never said anything about being concerned i just thought it was an interesting dynamic. I'm not a saint I have tons of bias, prejudices etc. But you are projecting and presuming a lot

That's your own projection and misunderstanding. That's not the premise of the thread. It's about men and woman valuing success unequally and how it affects dating prospects

Amen

I wouldn't hold it against a woman if she were successful, but I would be hesitant if they insisted on their career taking precedent over family, my career etc. I just don't think men and woman value success equally when it comes to valuing a partner. Some woman believe that incredible success is incredibly valuable, it may be to valuable to them, but not necessarily to men

I think this based on the woman's relationship with their children. I gave the example of my aunt above i think this is a real issue that isn't simply negative society. I can't speak for all men so i'm curious about other people's thoughts on this. But i'm assuming for the majority of men a woman's wealth isn't what they find attractive, and I bet some version of the opposite of that is true for woman. Speaking for myself I don't value a woman's income/success at all and I don't think i'm atpyical for men my age

Yeah that makes sense why you would be concerned. That is a very tough situation to be in with respect to finances. I think that's why it's important to very trusting of your partner if you're going to put yourself in a compromised situation like that. If you a person expects to have a self sustaining career it's very difficult to also commit fully to having a family. I have family members where both spouses are very successful, but the wife luckily has a 9-5 city job, and they rely on a nanny and I know my aunt feels guilty about not spending more time with her kids. And they don't need her income at all, she earns about 1/4 my uncle's salary

I'm not saying that men are viewing woman's success as unattractive. I'm saying that woman are becoming very financially successful and as a result they expect men of their same financial status, but the men aren't valuing their success the way woman judge a man's success and so you have a mismatch and a problem.

@mandyjw You don't think a woman who earn's 200k a year will have likely have a negative view towards men who earn less than her, let's say 100k or less? I think the issue is men and woman find different characteristics desirable, and although a success greatly enhances a man's desirability, when a achieves similar levels of success it doesn't affect their desirability in the eyes of men to the same degree. What are the insecurities? I think it's more a description of a modern dating problem. I'm assuming many woman want men who they judge as equal to their value, but as a result of modern dynamics both gender's assessment of their own value is skewed

What's wrong with being a stay at home mom? Wouldn't it allow more free time to pursue interests, hobbies, etc? If money wasn't a concern would you still want to work? My mom always complained about having to work full time while raising kids, I think it would be great if my LTR partner was content raising kids as basically their career/job

Stannis Baratheon. One of my favorite characters in the entire series. Iron will and a true commander. Held storms end with 500 men

I'm going to post some people/characters/etc that I admire

Yeah, if I met woman and she was fully content with being the primary earner and her husband stays at home i would find it odd. I have a few woman in my family like this, high earning successful woman with husband's who earn less, and the husbands are chidlish/boyish and they tend to be very assertive and domineering personalities

@mandyjw So 99,99999% of the population

This is the problem. These successful woman have high standards for themselves and their partners, but the reality is like 99% of men are defective in some major way and don't fit into the high status partner class that successful woman are expecting. You have an entire group of woman who have effectively maneuvered themselves so they have no viable dating options. If a woman is earning 200k plus she has certain expectations of her partner, especially given the men she's likely to interact with professionally. But a 200k man has different expectations than a 200k woman. How do you feel about a stay at home father and you being the primary earner? I've thought about this before as a man, but it is a bit disconcerting.

@Hardkill He's going to appeal and it's going to end up going through multiple levels of court. I wonder if this was pre-planned, first you find him guilty of all charges and you give the mob their justice then in a few years it gets downgraded to manslaughter and people will have forgotten so the people in charge can avoid the wrath of the mob

Probably because of all the broke spiritual seekers who have to justify being bad at finances Also because if you learn how to be happy doing nothing then life becomes much less expensive and you require much less money than a typical person seeking happiness in objects in the world

Do you think we would survive an alien invasion?

@VeganAwake Well said thank you. ?