Dhana Choko

You just need to accept these feelings as passing feelings as anything else that pops up in your mind. You don't have to make a big deal about them - just see them as passing thoughts coming from nothing and evaporating into nothing. They tell nothing about you.

Phizzuela basically summed up my thoughts as well. There are many good questions that you can ask yourself and only you can answer those questions: not your ex. That is why I don't think it is a good idea to meet up with your ex. He is innocent and really does not need to be dragged into your mental confusion and inner drama. Sorry to put it bluntly, but that is the way I see it.

It sound like you really are in a difficult emotional situation. I know from personal experience that even though all the people would tell you that you will find someone else and that you need to see that "there are many fish in the sea" but the truth is, when one is in a long-term (even if it is long-distance) relationship with someone and there are attachments on all levels (emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual), it is not easy at all to let go. So my sympathies go out to you. This is definitely not an easy decision and it kind of sucks that in a way your boyfriend has put you in this situation to make the decision for both of you. My personal experience is that I moved back to my own country to a new city far away from my family after living in England for 4 years after my boyfriend. I wanted to move back to my home country anyway but the city was chosen because my current bf at the time had studies that he had to finish. Now looking back I should have seen the warning signs already then and 1,5 years after I moved here, we have now split up. I do kind of regret it. I do not regret so much moving here, because I do like being in here, but I do regret that I did not listen to my own gut. When I was moving here, I did feel that our relationship was not stable (enough) and I just hoped that it would turn the way I would want it to be instead of looking at what was in front of me and what was the reality in that situation right then. That situation I had then, was a perfect energetic reflection on what was to come later on. If I could have been more realistic then, I would have seen it very bluntly that we were not completely sure to be with each other and we had problems in our relationship already. It did get slightly better after we worked on those issues, but there were definitely bumps on the road and the relationship never turned into a fairy-tale and it actually ended quite badly as well. So my advice to you is that: move if you are willing and very happy to live there even if it does not work out between you two. But do not move just because of the relationship on its own. Many blessings to you on this time in your life.

Thank you Zenny! I will look into it! I think this is very fascinating topic. In a way I think that the consciousness just flows through the energies within each person and makes them be interested in spirituality or poker or whatever, but they do not have a choice in it. Either they will just do it or not because that is the energy that flows through them and it has nothing to do with what I say (and if I say something that affects them, then that is the flow of the energy as well and no "I" has control over it). Also when they wake up, they have no control in it since there is no "I" to control any of it. Also if there is no "I" to wake up then why worry so much if someone spends their life meditating 1000s of hours or not. This is so confusing and funny at the same time and I am pretty sure that I am explaining it in a crappy way but oh well, here I go anyway. I think this is an excellent interview with Tony Parsons. This has inspired me.

Interesting points in this thread. I will reply deeply later. @Leo GuraWhat I have been thinking about lately, is that nothing that this person "Dhana Choko" does can contribute to awakening or enlightenment. The person "Dhana Choko" might be interested in enlightenment or spirituality or self-actualization, but it is still the persona and the patterns in the persona doing the "self-developmental journey". Many teachers like Tony Parsons and Lisa Cairns etc. talk about how the I cannot do anything to wake up because waking up is beyond "I". So the "I" might like poker or it might like spiritualism or it might like to watch Leo's videos and only the mind can make an assumption that "I meditated x amount of hours and this caused my insights and glimpses into the eternity", but it is just the minds idea and concept. Also it is true that many spiritual teachers meditated, but is that just a reflection of their understandings or the cause of it? Is it just that because they were on Earth and they had to do something, they just meditated cause that was something they were interested in personally. Lisa Cairns talks about how the mind makes assumptions about what causes what. Is it possible that all spiritual truth seeking is still just a journey within the mind, even the most craziest theories that seem to be outside the box and seem to be so "out the mind" are actually just some crazy ways of the mind trying to preserve itself? Just ways to think that it is going somewhere, just ways to prove to itself that it is doing something meaningful and to prove it exists? To me this is very interesting and kind of ego threatening at the same time because it makes all of the spiritual search etc. completely futile. So I need to ponder deeply the idea that it might be that everything that I am thinking of doing for enlightenment or waking up, is contributing nothing to my possible understanding of the "I" and the True Self. It might be something that this dream character just spends time with and in its big ego thinks that it is achieving something. I think this is something that can lead to deep discoveries within one self, since letting go of the idea that "I" can control enlightenment or waking up, is a very deep belief and just sitting with the idea that "I have no control over my enlightenment" scares the shit out of most spiritual truth seekers.

This is something that I used to think and what I still think. However, I am contemplating that maybe I need to let go of this idea as well. My ego has been and is so tangled up in trying to "wake up" and trying to "find that missing piece" and "doing what ever I can to wake up" and I am wondering if this very thing is the one thing I need to let go of, because it scares me a lot! It makes me very scared to think that I would not meditate on one day or I might "miss" something or "hinder" my growth. Then again I have read multiple books by people who have just woken up. They have not done anything to make it happen and there they are, just an Awareness looking at everything. If one could affect this only at their free will, this type of phenomenon would simply not happen. I think it is something to think about and I actually think it can take to another level - to be able to let go of the trying.

To my experience, you cannot wake up using drugs. Drugs just create another level of dream world that can be confused with waking up, but in truth it just distorts you further into the mind's dream land. And unfortunately it has some serious side effects for some people, for example paranoia, psychosis, unbalanced emotions, depression, extreme forms of rage and hate etc. This makes self-actualization work even harder. There are no known negative side-effects for example for contemplation or meditation, so I recommend that.

Masturbation nor sex is bad, but it depends completely why one does it. If one haves sex to escape their life or masturbates to lessen the feelings that are flowing through them, it is probable that one causes their life to escalate into a point that is even harder to take. It can take a similar form as alcoholism or drug addiction, where most of the time the person just keeps planning his everyday doings just according to having sex or masturbating, so it can have a huge negative effect on ones life.

Sounds great. Do you mean something like a group meditation or something like that?

Maybe you can just observe your own reactions and be silent with them...See how they rise and how they fall and just look at the wave of emotions coming and going and thoughts connected to the emotions arise.

Nice to read about this. I somehow understand. So nice. Many blessings.

I would definitely recommend going into your local Drug users Anonymous. They can really help you along. Combine that with some meditation, contemplation, some books and videos and many other great tips that you have already gotten here, then you are definitely on an amazing path to recovery.

Being spiritual or being interested in spiritual topics, does not mean that one has SEEN their ego and been able to live beyond that. Personally I do not think Teal Swan is enlightened (yet) but she is on her way. I doubt that Alan Watts was enlightened as well. Actually I believe there are "degrees" of being in the Truth. Maybe it is true that someone can be enlightened or not and it is kind of a black-or-white type of issue, but you can definitely measure the journey somewhat.

Just do one thing at a time and slowly you will be able to turn your life around. This pain can be an amazing tool and catalyst for your own transformation and it can help to transform every area of your life into a higher level. One day you will be so thankful that this pain caused you to work on yourself and your life...all the work you put into this, will pay off 10 times and more

You know, you want your pain to go away as fast as possible, but what you eat is one of the biggest things that according to studies affects pain and inflammation in the body. If you want results and you want this to turn around as quickly as possible, you need to start working with your life even without the support from your family. It is one of bigger spiritual lessons as well. If you wait for your outside circumstances to change before you can change, it is very slow and might never happen. You can start slow and start cooking your own gluten free noodles or make a salad for yourself. It is not about losing weight but taking care of yourself - which is loving yourself and completely the opposite of eating disorder. It is very good that you are open to trying at least the other things, it will help you a lot. Change is hard at first but small steps will help you to a right direction. I wish you strength and courage for your path!

You have to get the basics right before you try any supplements. If I were you, I would go on gluten free vegan diet. Then work on your sleep schedule, your meditation practice and other types of exercise. Even doing all of this will take a lot of effort. After you have accomplished all of this, you will be in a completely different place in your life and you won't probably need any supplements. If you need supplements then and you want to fine tune things, you can work with that then, but it does not do much if your diet, sleep, meditation and exercise patterns are not right. There are things that you can do, which is very positive!

Just combine that with meditation. Do you meditate twice a day?

It is very possible that you do not know what you really want to do. That is ok! You will find it in time but at the moment you need to be able to be okey with the fact that you do not know, you feel confused and unhappy. Just be there right now. Then the next step will show up. It might be a plan C and nothing you imagined before.

You have to be very enlightened to drink and not feel a slightest feeling of guilt or shame about it. And if one is completely enlightened, they would never want a drink.

I have had multiple enlightenment experiences and I have experiences of being connected to that state actually daily. It is hard to explain. It is like the darkness that is around me is just moving a way little by little and the feeling is just there, all the time, more and more and then I get glimpses of some light every day. It is a very nice process. I have had moments of huge insights more than I can count. It is quite exhausting to even think about them, what I have understood etc. - It is just too much. I do not have words for all of it.

To me this realizations has come bit by bit whilst doing self-developmental work, spiritual work and studying psychology degree. First I kind of thought that we must not have free will since so many people and myself included are in situations that we simply would not want to choose. So there must be some sort of thing that we are not in control of it. Then few years ago I swung to the other end and I learned all about Law of Attraction and I applied all the things that they taught me - but still, I could not completely control my life and a lot of things happened that I was not in control of. Another curious thing to me was astrology and how I could see life situations happen through astrology in my own life but also in other people's lives. It just went deeper and deeper and I do not remember when it really happened, but I just realized that the person, the thoughts and everything that I think I am, is just patterns and that I am trapped in these patterns in a way. Even things like being intelligent and understanding a lot of things, are also patterns and I am not the "thing" that these patterns are combined, so the thing I think I am, does not simply exist. It is so interesting, so liberating, so depressing at the same time. I actually loved Leo's video, I think I just laughed when I was watching it. Hilarious. Life really is.

This depends completely on which society you live in and what part of society you live in. In many Western societies open sexual promiscuity and "having a little fun" is seen as a normal part of society. Sometimes it is self-actualizing to question whether the ideas and beliefs you have gained from society (for example that "trying out different sexual partners is fun and makes you a better wife/man in the future") are actually true. It also depends what you out of life: nor Jesus or Buddha or any other modern spiritual truth seeker who has found lasting happiness, has f*cked their way into enlightenment or understanding. My personal experience and understanding is that it takes a lot of courage in our society to not get into these ideas of having light-hearted sex with anyone who shows a slight interest. 1. I would question if having a lot of sex with strangers counts as a representation of true freedom. 2. Mostly having sex with random people does not give you much of an experience in sexuality, cause in order to truly go deep into what sexuality truly is, you need emotional trust and deep admiration. Just having casual physical sex with different partners does not make one necessarily a very good at sex. Actually, my own experience is exactly the opposite. Most guys and girls who are used to having one night stands etc. are very confused about what good sex is like. Going very deep in sexuality, you need much much more than just random one night stands which in most cases are awkward and very far for absolutely amazing sex. 3. I don't understand how having many sexual partners leads to being more able to commit? In order to be really good at something, you need to practice that. That is the same thing as saying that if you spend 10 years of your life being watching TV then later on in your life you will be very good at football.

I would not recommend sleeping around. First of all, you dilute your own focus and second of all, you take in energies that do not belong to you and you need to clean up the mess. It is also very unlikely that one at a very young age can sleep around without getting trapped up in possible drama and complicated relationship mess ups. You can do whatever you want, but it is much easier said than done to have a very pleasant experience sleeping around. You can do it but I highly doubt it is going to be just a joy ride, especially if you are not fully enlightened being without any emotional, karmic or psychological or mental baggage. I think you should start "sleeping around" when you feel like you meet a person that you really adore. You can learn so much more from life and love when you learn this things in higher energies and higher quality rather than roaming around every possible bush and wondering why nothing works and why it is so hard to attract that "special one". Also, sleeping around in your young life does not guarantee that you do not have negative disturbing thoughts about your marriage or relationships later on. This negativity and "wishing for something else" is not because people have not experienced enough, but it is because that is the default setting in our mind. You can do all the things in life and experience as much as you want but if you do not train your mind, your mind will find thousands of ways to disturb you anyway.

I agree. It really takes you to another level!

I love this movie. It used to be my favourite movie of years! I think it still is definitely up there in top 5. I love it!