Dhana Choko

Meditate everyday and you will get ideas.

Just when you have realized that you have this self-sabotage problem and you have noticed it, you have already healed a lot of it. You just need to become aware of your emotions, thoughts that are connected to this issue and just notice them. Instead of living in the self-sabotage, notice that you are in a self-sabotage cycle, you have thoughts that are self-sabotating etc. This will heal you.

The more you are connected to yourself, your soul and your true needs and desires, the more you are able to be present to your woman and to the moment of having sex. That is the way you can have a) amazing sexual experiences b) a pleasurable life.

It is exactly the same as obsessing about the colour of your hair and asking if the colour of your hair matters in relationships. No, it does not matter. And Yes, some people do have a strong preference for a specific hair colour on the opposite sex. But the interesting thing is that any normal functioning person would say that the person who has a very strong preference (or obsession) for the colour of the hair on the opposite sex, probably has some sort of a problem themselves. Very rarely we think that if we see or meet someone like this, that we should worry about the colour of our hair and start obsessing about it. But somehow when it has to do with penis, people think that other people's obsessions about the size of a penis should determine their own fate, life outcomes and relationship possibilities and happiness in life. It is not any different than the question with the hair colour: if anyone has a clear obsession and determined preference, they are most probably the one who is having problems - not you.

All people can be and are loved. However weird their personality is, how ever crazy they act, how ever they look or feel - someone always loves them...someone always loves us all! Isn't that amazing? We all have 'faults' but I have many times wondered that maybe these 'faults' were given to us in order for us to see how deeply we are loved and how deeply enriching life we can have despite of not being perfect. Maybe it is Universes way to show love to us in a very deep way - nothing we think can ever budge the Loving force that flows in our life.

Therapy is very little to do with the person you have therapy with. There are some differences in the methods and of course the personality, but most psychologists use the same methods. Of course some people are better at using those methods than others, but healing has very little do with the therapist. Human beings are self-healing machines and given the time, dedication and space, they will heal. Psychologists main goal is to create atmosphere that facilitates healing and let the person come into the space, do their thing (heal) and leave. When this is done multiple times, there will be healing and growth. However, it is not instant and there are many inner factors at play. For example MOST people who attend therapy feel like therapy does not work - it is actually very very rare that person going to therapy acknowledges clearly what the therapy does for them. Therapy also puts into motion many processes inside one self which last multiple years after the therapy ends. Therapy, like anything else, requires a lot of perseverance and patience and you need a commitment to your own healing, even when it feels like it is going nowhere. This is where the magic begins. "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly"

If you go vegan and you do not eat any junk food, sodas etc. and eat a lot of vegetables and reasonable amount of vegetable protein and fats, you will lose weight. It is so easy to lose weight on healthy vegan diet. You can even have some vegan treats once in a while and still say very healthy and normal weight. You can eat so much vegetables and great food and still lose weight. It is great. Here are few great blogs for you to get some inspiration: www.ohsheglows.com http://simpleveganblog.com/ http://kriscarr.com/

First when we see these parts of ourselves, it is always shocking. And the deeper we go, the "more shocking" things we might discover, but we just don't react to them so personally anymore, so it gets easier. I would just say that take it easy and relax. These issues will resolve a lot by just observing them. You have discovered this part of yourself so it cannot rule you as much as it did before. This is amazing progress and you are doing so well! Just keep taking it easy, read, learn, observe and you will be fine.

Fruits and a green juice is one of the best things.

I am so sorry for what you have had to go through. This is so difficult and it seems like it has been going on for a long time. You must be exhausted. Please give yourself time to process your emotions and fears. This is a difficult time in your life and so many things come to surface. All the best to you and your whole family.

You probably have very good reasons to feel this way but it seems clear that this is causing unhappiness and difficult life choices. I think that there are probably deeper reasons in this that have an effect through your life and therefor I would suggest that if it is possible for you to have some kind on psychological help, I would advice that. I think this is a deeper issue that you could benefit hugely on, if you just had the chance to talk about it to someone.

Why do you need them to take your depression seriously?

Well, that is your current opinion that might not be true

I think about your mindset that you are confused. You do not know how to be in this situation and you have actually lost a part of yourself. Do you think YOU are attractive? Do you find yourself sexy and hot? Do you find yourself energetic and excited about life? It is not about her - it is about you.

You just have this "lack of self-esteem" type of pattern in you and you can be aware of that pattern. You have lived through that patter your whole life and you probably have no idea what it would be like to be a character in this lifetime with a good or even great self-esteem - your life would feel completely different and you would feel very different to yourself. However you can just watch this pattern, watch your reactions and just be with it...You don't have to change it - it will change on its own. There is a reason why you are introduced to these very different type of people in your life right now. You can watch them and examine them just like you can examine your own patterns, just like a detached scientist. You will see interesting things!

I think this is probably because he is insecure about his abilities sexually and he has fears connected to being sexually active and keeping an erection and he somehow probably thinks that if you could take more time with sexual activities before actually getting it on, he might be more "ready" or something like that. But the problem is really with him that he is not ready - not that you are ready too fast. This is quite common with young guys and I would not be too worried about it. Just make it a non-issue or just talk about it with him, his fears of not being able to do it "right" or being "amazing" in bed or being somekind of a "sex machine" and it will probably just go away. Young men have a lot of insecurities and especially if it is someone they really like and want to make an impression on. So in a odd way his lack of erection can be a "compliment" to you, just like you getting wet early is a compliment to him.

My short way to put this is that one is happy when it is serving the expression of all that is happening currently in the present moment. There is no greater happiness than being in service. Just let life do its thing with you. If life wants to be unhappy through you, let it be and fully commit to this service in the moment it is happening. Peace guaranteed.

I fast sometimes on Saturdays ans I think it makes a difference to my digestion. I used to have gas issues (embarrasing :() but on one day I was ill and I did not feel like eating at all, so I did not. The whole next week my stomach felt so good and I wondered if the fasting had something to do with it. I started slowly to have problems again so I fasted again and again: so good! So I will continue but only on 1 day a week or few days a month.

Becoming aware of every situation where you eat a lot of sugar, is very important. And even if you have a huge craving and if you buy that soda or sweets, then eat it with full consciousness. Every piece one by one and be fully present to your experience, all the emotions and thoughts that go in your head and just be there and watch how you eat. When you do this, remember to be present only to those sweets - so no tv, music, phone, no otjer conversation, quiet space alone is best. Only you and the candy/soda/sugar. Also when you go to a supermarket, go in to the most sugary aile there where you usually buy your favourite things and just stand there. Look at every single candy bar, name them in your head, observe the colours, tag lines, go through the aisle one by one (yes it will take time :D) and let all the emotions come to you, memories, all the needs and "I wants" and judgements and just everything and just Watch yourself and be patient, gentle and stay in the observing state. Then when you feel calm, leave the store and do not buy anything. These exercises are very powerful. Watch what happens in your life after this.

There are many but I like Shivie Cook

How do you take care of yourself? Do you meditate daily, do you exercise, how do you eat?

Yes, I do kundalini yoga at home. I love it. I also go to classes 2 times a week, but other times a week I do it at home. I use youtube and I watch recorded kundalini yoga sets and classes. Love it.

There are so many good ones around Europe. You don't necessarily need a retreat guru to be some kind of celebrity - in the end it is a experience with yourself. Of course you have to be aware not to go to some kind of retreat that you instantly feel weird about, but it is good to stay open minded - almost any retreat that is concerned with meditation, silence, quieting the mind etc, will help you anyway and it will be a powerful experience with yourself first and foremost.

Masturbation will give you short term relaxation but meditation will relax your whole life bit by bit. You can masturbate but just be aware that it will not solve your inner restlessness issues or lift your life to next level.