Soulbass

When this 60 days meditation journal is over, I'll create a new one for "mastering astral projection - 90 day guide to out of body experience" by Robert Bruce & Brian Mercer. Day 20 : Meditation went ok.

A simulation of 3D hyperbolic space tilings (WASD to rotate arrow keys to move) http://h3.hypernom.com/

Day 17 : Fail, no meditation. Day 18 : Meditation went ok. Day 19 : Meditation went ok.

Do wathever you want, there is nothing wrong with metal or any kind of dark scene/genre. Music is emotions, it makes you feel/experience something - it's always a transition state. Bad things happens when you judge yourself on what feels right to you. I wanna share a song which is "dark" to me but which put me in a trance state, or "zone of genius" in seconds :

+1

I think reality seems what it is because we are born, and educated within it. The physical world is like wood or rocks, while dreams are more like fog or water. Time is slow, it's why the physical world seems consistent. Without this constraint, dreams can transform very quickly - but it is the same language : symbols.

Day 16 : Meditation went ok. I notice that meditation is less effective when I get totally lost in monkey mind for the rest of the day. It should be more like a 24/7 practice, with an emphasis on the 45 mins/day. I plan to work on that soon.

Tonight I dreamed that I was in a tree, because a bull wanted to attack me. At some point, I decide to leave the tree, and catch the bull by the horns. The bull was saying "you will fail, everyone failed before you". There were some blood on the horns, but it was not mine. I cached the bull by the horn, and resisted to it. Day 15 : Meditation went well. After sport, it's always easier for the body to stay still.

Day 14 : Meditation went right. I was meditating on the similarities between the dreaming state and the waking state, in perceptions. I thought that the waking state is physical, while the dreaming state is non-physical (symbols meaning, and interpretations). The physical world "seems" persistent, because we'r born in, and we'r used to it. The dream is non physical, so it's flowing, shapeless, formless and it's not solid (we can walk through walls and doors in dreams). In dreams "expectations" is key, it's very important. Being lucid, we generate parts of the dream consciously, but most of it is computed by the subconscious. It is possible to be fully aware and in control of the whole thing, but it's for different purposes I guess. In a dream, let's say I'm about to open a door : my subconscious decide just right now what's behind the door, and it is always what's "true" to me. If I'm afraid of monsters, and I expect a monster to appear, it will probably be the case. In waking state / physical world, time is more important. It requires time to things to appear, but I feel that it's the same mechanism. Thinking of the law of attraction, when people "want" something consciously, it's not the same thing they want in their subconscious. The subconscious make it appear, even if it's unknown to the conscious mind (it seems that way). The subconscious leads the game.

Day 13 : Meditation was ok. It's late in the night, I haven't managed my time very well. The evening was busy, so next time I'll take care to plan meditation BEFORE hanging out with friends.

Day 12 : meditation went right, I felt more in connection with my body, than usual, these last days. This afternoon, during a nap, because I was tired due to medication (I had an food-allergy, by accident) those medications (histamine) shoot down the brain a little bit. So, during the nap, I had a vision, or the feeling that "my" reality (this current day) was created, or should I say "self-created". It was like universes in bubbles, in a dark space. I think the dark space was the deep-sleep stage, which was total blackout due to medications.

Day 11 : meditation went ok. I was kinda low energy before meditation, now I'm empowered. I had in my pockets : red jasper, tiger eye, calcedony & aragonite + red tourmaline pendant.

Day 10 : I feel more density in my life. Little events seems to reveal synchronicity, and have meaning.

It seems the perfect diary for a bravest warrior.

Day 9 : Session 1 went OK. Now that I've lost the vision for why I originally created this journal, I'm entering the dark woods and actually hitting the rubber on the road. I like to associate meditation with something, like "sci-fi", dunno if that's matter with a cult, as Leo posted in his latest insight, but I need something to rely on, to cultivate my vision. Being a "consciousness punk" in a cyberpunk / trans-humanism universe helps me being on track. When I became vegetarian 8 years ago, parts of me were proud of "not being like all others, and fucking the system & industry". This attitude helped me being vegetarian at first, even if it should not be the main reason. Same is occurring with meditation habit : I need an "attitude" or a "context" to cultivate my vision, at first. Session 2 went right. I figured out why I needed to move during metitation, it's because I needed to do some sport. To someone who have never heard of meditation, I would describe it like this : Meditation is nothing more or less than what you are actually doing *every day, all life long* except that you do it intentionally and sit down & do nothing *while doing it* in surrender and humbleness.

Day 7 : No meditation. I failed at discipline and time management. Day 8 : Went right, my body wanted to move, my mind was cloudy. If my body wanted to move during meditation, it's because I felt inspired to, not because of lack of self-control, but more like tai-chi, qi gong thing. Sidenote : I notice the help of having a journal, especially because I failed one day, it remind me that it's not important, and that I don't have to think about it, 52 days are still coming (I'll meditate twice 45 minutes tomorrow to compensate).

Embrace the resistance, and dance with it in full awareness.

The way we judge a teacher/appearance (youtube channel, brand & logo) and discard it's content, shows that we are maybe blindly following actualized.org I mean here that actual work and direct experience is the key, not food for your thoughts. "How To Exploit People To Grow Yourself"

@Phil I had to take few days to infuse thoughts. I understand that low entropy, or Heisenberg's uncertainty principle is the raw material to work with law of attraction. Did you had a consciousness/spiritual break-through before using it ? At what age did you started ? It was mostly instinctive, or applied-theory ? You mean that the piece of cake cannot be shared, but what about the recipe ? What would be a summed methodology for core practice ? I didn't known Cat Stevens was so deep. (I haven't checked the lyrics before, since english is not my native language).

Who knows. I mean, how can you be sure ? Remember latest Leo's video on epistemology and how we are fooling ourselves about assumptions ?

Day 6 : meditation was difficult, cloudy sky.

When I was around 5-6, while falling asleep, especially if I had some fever (which is common when you are kid) I would feel/see/hear fizzing abstract colored fractal noise, associated with unpleasant vertigo. It was like if the "infinite greatness of the universe" and "the infinite smallness of atoms" were fighting together, resulting in a "saturated buzzing self-convoluted complex". This youtube link describe the unpleasant feeling very well (see bellow). On 8-9, this is a funny game I played in my mind, that helped me to fall asleep : in my imagination, a daemon were hunting me, and to escape it I had to picture in my mind the most distant galaxy, but each second I had to teleport in another random place, even more further, 100x, 1000x, exponentially. I could only escape the daemon by always switching from a new random place to another.

When I'm half-lucid in a dream, I often try to tell people and convince them that we're in a dream, but they think I'm crazy and what I say is non-sense. I bet the same story would happen to someone who is enlightened, and want to share her/his insights to the world, too abruptly, or by just explaining it with words. I tend now to think that our lives, are "dreams" and that our consciousness is limited to 1 version/1 dream, while many other "you" and entities are experiencing several stuff at the same time, or a different levels/planes, and everything is connected, it's pure data-flowing. In one of those dreams where I try to convince people that we are in a dream, some characters seems to know the situation, some tried to help me becoming more lucid by being more aware/mindful of certain things/details. Once, while trying to tell people that we're in a dream, someone who seemed aware of the situation, looked at me and laugh like "aha, beginner's mistake". Once I've seen someone who also seemed living it's own life, independently from my dream, and I felt this person was just traveling from dreams to dreams (into the mind of random people in the world) just for fun. I've seen an animal once, a sort of dog/wolf, all black with red eyes, despite it's scary appearance it felt noble and magic like you know ancient mythology + aware of itself. As I was sleeping, it arrived, looked at me few seconds and left the scene. This was not a regular dream, I couldn't explain why, it felt different. Well, dreams are fascinating (sorry for my so-so english)