Soulbass

I realize that doing "45 minutes meditation a day" is not enough, but it's all my energy that daily need to be put into consciousness work. Health, food, sleep, work, habits, meditation, contemplation... all that kind of stuff. I can't be low-self all the time and suddenly do meditation, it's no sense. Day 49 : I failed meditation again, because of backslash. Someone said on the forum that to simply wake-up early and do exercise is enough to feel "strong" and continue the day that way. I notice to wake-up early, I need to go early. I remember the time (few years ago) when I was happy waking-up with the sun, it was very powerful moments. Now I've lost track of my spirituality, and all I do is fake-spirituality (attempting meditattion is nothing if I'm not 100% engaged, I mean all day long). I want some changes in my life. The "power of intention" let's talk about that. I don't decide for myself, but the subconscious does. Why did I decided to be here? Lack of lucidity? Yep. Edit: I'll do one week of meditation without posting in this journal, I'll do a summed post at the end of the week.

A photo & automatic drawings :

http://www.lumierelucia.com/the-lucia-experience.html http://eng.pascalradic.com/lucia-light.html Next month I'll try Lucia Light.

Anyone have experience with it ?

Day 46 : No meditation. Day 47 : Meditation went really well. It was outside this time, sunny day. I had to close my eyes a little bit because of the sun, so I stayed focus on the ground near me. A lizard went on me, like if I were a rock. I feel more synchronicity & wider spectrum of consciousness (subtle). Day 48 : Meditation went cloudy, but ok.

Great. Do you sit 3 hours in a row? Or with breaks?

In Maslow's needs, love come before career. Career is both safety (money) and creative. Take in account time, you can do both.

Day 45 : Meditation went right.

A friend of mine had the same CD stuck in his car for years, he known every bit of it (now, he have a new car). You had been musically programmed, so you can be musically un-programmed or re-programmed.

Here are few of mines : - Apophyllite - Blue Kyanite - Pyrope - Pyrite - Rose Quartz

I would hike all around the world, in national parks or wild nature.

love love love love love love love love love

Day 42 : Meditation went right. The habit is taking root : even if I'm tired, and it's late, I still want to meditate 45 minutes. It was cloudy this time, again. Day 43 : Meditation went ok. Now that the habit is taking place, it let room for "practice" and "quality consciousness". I notice sometimes it goes mechanical meditation. About the breathing relaxation technique I've found 2 days ago, here is how I could explain it : Explore the pain with consciousness, and breath with it. Go into it, and live it. Allow it to be "pain" and use breath to dissolve it (in this case, pain in the stomach, which is linked with psyche). It's like non-resisting to the pain, and embrace it fully, then let it go. Day 44 : Meditation went right.

Day 39 : Meditation went right. Day 40 : Meditation went right. I contemplate how reality is self-constructed, and the idea of inner & external world. Day 41 : Meditation went cloudy, but ok. I discovered on my own a technique : relax and breathing with the stomach. For few years I had a constant little pain in stomach, annoying, daily, but didn't known what it is. This breathing technique allowed me to relax, and I discovered that the problem was tensions in the muscles (stomach is a muscle). Maybe a constant stress I have accumulated, or "restricted" in my body / energy. Maybe what I perceive in the external world, is the cause of my pain in stomach. For example, if I see society as "evil" and don't allow myself to be part of it, and enjoy it, it would create a problem in my structure (this is subtle in the subconscious, ofc).

Summary of this journal : after 37 days of meditation, I've lost track and haven't meditated for a week. Tomorrow's monday, I'll be back on track until 60 days. Day 38 : Meditation went right.

Anyone have read the book yet ?

What, I've lost the count of days I haven't meditated, and it's not going to happen today, cause I said to friends I'll go to poker after work. So, I decided to make a list of (daily) things I'll definitely not do, after work : - To do not check emails, Facebook, Reddit... too much hooks in there. Even this forum (once a week is enough). - If I want to chill, I'll listen to some music, instead of watching the latest Pewdiepie. - Thinking twice before saying "yes" for hanging out... - Experiment more with 3x 20 minutes with guided audio (I haven't tried at day time). edit: just noticed the latest Leo's insight on meditation "What's The Best Time To Meditate?" it's cool.

How would you describe it ? Sometimes I feel like some parts of the brain are activated or not, depending work/consciousness I do. I've heard it's possible to control brainwaves.

Day 36 & 37 : Meditation went right. Few insights I had last night, while REM : 1) I was in a dream where few people with psychic/energetic abilities where helping me to figure out hidden part / dysfunctional parts of my psyche. At first, they thought it was all right. But then, something get noticed, a sort of demon where hidden down, and it was hard to notice it because it come from nowhere. It was a demon which is associated with "addiction" and which I named "rush" because it's like the rush to open an email, the rush to eat, the rush to go to work, the rush to do something quicker than necessary. I was first person view of the demon (for few seconds, then I woke-up). I also learned that this "demon" or "psyche" came from my grand-mother (mother's side). I don't know if these people in the dream where real, but it put light on something that I "felt" before, but haven't put words on it. 2) At the middle of the night, while not sleeping (short awoken state between sleep cycles) I felt asleep while thinking "What do I really want ?" & "Follow your bliss" sorts of mantra. The result where a dream where the answer was "Rediscover / Reconnect, with the beauty in ourselves" by beauty I mean the beauty in human being / life form, in general. I also remember Leo's video on 10 things we want but that we don't know that we want : it connected immediately with "existence to feel magical again" (while the previous insight was more about "slow down" or "slow life"). This dream almost shed tears to my eyes. 3) This one was more like a fictional story, like a movie, similar to Interstellar. Here is the plot : in 1972, a nasa team went to Mars. Once they are on the planet, the communication between Earth & Mars was about 4 minutes latency. Then an accident happen, they all died (on Mars). Then, nowadays, nasa receive message (radio frequency / video) from Mars again, the same team, exept that they say living in 1973, one year after the accident (we are in 2017 now). The strange thing is that the communication is in real time, it is because the guys from the 70' traveled through time/dimension, and they had seen this moment (the communication ha penning) before it happens, and it's a pre-recorded message (but it feel like a direct - real time communication for us, living in 2017, because we ask things, and they answer directly, all simply. Dunno if that's clear^^. A funny thing was that the guys from the 70, on Mars, after the accident, appeared in the message/video without equipment, and had the typical hippy look, like in this picture. Hey @Loreena I've seen this picture yesterday from thread "Al-lad Response" :

Have you checked the life purpose course ?

Yesterday : No meditation (fail). I was too sleepy after work, and I went to sleep early. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This night, I had some half lucid dreams, where I attempted to RC (reality check) with finger-palm push method. It didn’t worked, even if my hand was blurry and stretched + various dream signs in the scene, I wasn’t able to figure out the state of dream. I have to find another RC (I have an SQ8 camera that I’ll wear around my neck everyday, like this I could shot dream signs… capturing dream signs would help being aware). These last couples of days, I didn’t performed RC properly, but I was like “what’s the matter”. I have watched the first part of the holographic universe documentary (link bellow) and I just consider we everyday life experience as a dream, exept that we are “stuck” and “shaped” in ground/clay : I didn’t wanted to perform reality check because I was aware of the “natural” state of reality, which blurs frontier between dream & reality. I’d better call it “tonal” & “nagual” like shamans do. Last days, when I talked to someone about metaphysical/spiritual things, I took care of not being lost in thoughts, and actually experience this conversation as if it would be a dream, which totally changed my mind, sayings, and way to think about things. Complex discussions about metaphysics are pointless, I let place for “being” (the communication happen even if no words are spoken, directly about this topic). It’s common in lucid dreaming that a beginner try to talk, or convince other people about the nature of the dream. Dream characters often deny, it’s a dead-end. Sometimes it happen that someone more experienced come to talk to the dreamer and say “yeah, you are dreaming, wake-up” or help a little bit. I had this feeling few time, when people with “cosmic” abilities talked to me, like reading my thoughts, etc, etc. I asked to one of them (on dreamviews’s chat) “but, who are you in the end ?” he answered “we are helping each other” so I think it’s consciousness looking backward. Link to the holographic universe documentaries (5 parts) :

Day 35 : Meditation went right. 40 mins mid-day & 20 mins evening.

Day 33 : Meditation went right. I found a place at work where I can isolate myself for meditation, during mid-day lunch break. Day 34 : Meditation went right. 20 mins morning, 20 mins mid-day, 20 mins evening. It's totally different than 45 mins straight / day.

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Day 32 (I don't count the days I missed) : meditation went right. I felt more relaxed after few minutes, I had business ideas, then monkey mind. I notice that this session, like many other, were going very well at the beginning, and the more it goes, the more monkey mind appear.