loub

Read the book together and see if you can share the vision presented there. Make a commitment to being 100% honest. Accept that coming out of hiding will bring up a lot of shit and will make you both feel more uncomfortable than before for a while. Know that it is better than the alternative. Be completely detached from outcome, it could lead to a breakup or a pause or to a deep and life-long connection. Who knows, but however the outcome it is better than the alternative. I disagree with the LSD-dude. There's much you can and should resolve sober before doing something like that. Use it to get you to heaven not as an avoidance of hell. Best of luck, I hope I was of help

A bunch of people full of their own deceptions, neurosis, hurt, anger insecurities unfaced trauma, etc. living together is complicated and so most families are dysfunctional, I know mine certainly is, lol. You seem very understanding and have incorporated an attitude of trying not to judge and of trying to be the bigger man. Beware of upholding such ideals for your own behaviour. The judgement of him that you suppress you will take out on yourself. That's a very green kind of approach. The yellow approach in this will be something like this: you don't owe your brother any more or less consideration and understanding than yourself. My advice will be to move out as quickly as possible, focus on your own growth and the contribution you want to make in this world, instead of wasting your mental and creative energy on trying to save your family/brother. Try and save the world rather than your family. It's , much easier

What do you mean by "make more sex"? Do you mean sex more frequently, many different partners, longer sessions, better quality sex and connection... I'd say you would do good to read the way of the superior man by David Deida, I think he also has a book out specifically about sex. Mind you, what is offered there can be used for pick up but the potential value offered here goes way deeper. Maybe you should question some of your assumptions about sex, or maybe you need to just live out some desires for now, who knows

@Farnaby I agree with @Lubomir . In my experience you don't feel disconnected from your girlfriend because you show anger and frustration but because anger and frustration slip out in an environment where you feel like you need to hide them because they shouldn't be there. If you two were to deliberately set an environment of total honesty, where you tell her about your anger and frustration and also about how you feel about them and how they make you feel about the relationship, you tell her about your fears and insecurities and you let it all out, do you really think that a feeling of being disconnected would result? Sharing times of vulnerability and openness in relationships leads to connection, understanding and transformation. You might find reading Radical Honesty helpful. Best of luck to you guys

@laurel I think it is interesting how you don't seem to be bothered at all in this way by people around here. What is it about your family and friends that triggers you in such a way as opposed to people on here? Anyway I think you are on a great path and that that is just a phase. Relax into it and let things unfold naturally. In the meantime try not to be too much of an asshole

Krishnamurti is extremely profound. I vividly remember reading his Commentaries on living and having my first intense feeling of clarity. It has been my experience though that what his writing suggested I could not actualize and the Krishnamurti-induced high became somewhat of a withdrawal from my actual life. I'm glad he set me up on all this and one day I will return to him but till then I need more of the practical stuff. How's your experience with J.Krishnamurti been?

Don't you mean there is Nothing to know?

@Garuda What thread?

@AlldayLoop hope it came across clearly that I was kidding. the LPC is great stuff, absolutely recommended. Good luck on the course

@moon777light I am interested in this book, however I really don't like reading on screen. Would you recommend getting the updated version over the old one considering it comes at twice the price?

@AlldayLoop well, that's it folks, don't buy the LPC, just watch this video thats basically it @Knock thanks for sharing, feel like I needed to hear this

I'm sorry it came across that way, I see where I made a poor choice of words. I merely wanted to suggest that there is still growth for you to do, which is likely true for all of us, don't you think? Of course this is very hard emotionally. I did not say the ideal is to not feel anything in this situation, but ask yourself: would someone who is fundamentally grounded react so strongly against it? Try and understand, which is a very vital and complex thing rather than sticking to a conclusion such as: which locks your ability to further your understanding of the matter and creates a dead end. Challenge that belief. On a different note I think you should text that girl and seek contact again, btw I wish you the best!

Sit on the ground and put the bottom of your feet together. Gently press your knees apart with your elbows and then lean forward with a very straight spine. Lean forward as far as you can and have that come from your hips rather than your upper body. The closer your feet are to the body the more it stretches. It will hurt on the inside of your legs. Be very careful with trying full lotus prematurely though, you can permanently damage your knees easily. I was once able to do it but it hurt for some time afterwards and so I stopped doing it in time, luckily. Don't force anything! For meditation to become more comfortable (and that's very important) I would recommend a cork Yoga block to sit on, you can get one for ten bucks. Not stretching is a huge liability on your health though and you should do it every day for some time before you get problems. Look into Maha Mudra, it is the only stretch you'll ever need. Hurts like hell through

There's never a right time not to heal

Forget this talk about normal, we are not on this forum for "normal". You claim that there is some objective reason for you being angry and that you are right and your parents are wrong when they seem to imply that there is no possibility for her actually liking you and that's all this is about. Where do we go from here? Dead end! This is not the time to rationalize away your resistance to what has happened, but to turn that resistance on itself, and see what really was the driving factor in you being so hurt. If you fundamentally believed yourself to be lovable and worthy of love then why would you resist your parents suggesting otherwise so much? There seems to be a major blindspot that you lay open here and that is crucial for you to see. Scrutinize this issue, my friend, and don't mess this up! Anyway I hope I wasn't too harsh on you here but I felt that's what you needed. Of course I might just have gotten this completely wrong, it's your life anyway. Best of luck, my friend.

Nice Progress. It seems to me you started saying much more with less and less words, which is among the things I most admire about poetry, it gives it a special dignity when compared to all other forms of art. Ideally, you'll want to capture infinity within just a couple of words For inspiration Purposes here is the finest love poem I have yet come across, read it many times: She Walks in Beauty By Lord Byron (George Gordon) She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that’s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes; Thus mellowed to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more, one ray the less, Had half impaired the nameless grace Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o’er her face; Where thoughts serenely sweet express, How pure, how dear their dwelling-place. And on that cheek, and o’er that brow, So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below, A heart whose love is innocent! Oh, the nights I have spent gazing at myself through the lense of those words. Still makes my heart sigh a little.

At 30 would be a good time to start thinking about children seriously, for both men and women unless children are an integral part of your life purpose and your understanding of your unique requirements for Happiness. I'm not nearly thirty though so my advice might be bonkers

There is no problem here as I see it- you say you did not develop unreasonable hopes, so there is nothing to fear for you. As far as your family is concerned I'd recommend trying to find a perspective from which you can be thankful towards them, from which you see that they act that way because they care for you. It's pretty obvious that they seem to want to protect you from future harm even though you and I know there is no need for that. Now, what I think is much more important is the way you reacted against all this. Clearly there is a lot of resistance within you to make you write such a lengthy text here and you should make sure that you use this as what it is- a huge opportunity for new insight into yourself. Can you entertain the possibility that what you are reacting against so harshly actually has nothing to do with the occurrence it has been triggered by? My guess is it is about something that goes way back and way deep. Do you feel like your family disregards you? Underestimates you? Treats you like a child? Treats you badly? Laughs at you? Doesn't value you? Straight up dislikes you? Holds you back?... or whatever it is, find it out because it could be a huge impediment to your freedom and authenticity and overall joy. Growing up is a difficult thing to do and few of us make it out unscathed. Hope I was any helpful, don't stress yourself over it too much, best regards

If during a profoundly heightened state of consciousness you see that god is everything is that not limiting god? if god is that which appears to you in your mystical experience, that would make god limited as he would need you consciousness to make him present. now, of course the talking point is that god is everything whether one is aware of that or not but how can you trust a mystical experience reveals something true when that experience relies on the absence of ego consciousness? how can we know god is everything when he never can be experienced alongside ordinary ego-consciousness? if god is everything how can one experience be closer to truth than another in the most existential sense?

Bond.

this seems to be a very clear description of the "upper limit problem". in short it comes into play as some sort of self-sabotage as one reaches higher levels of satisfaction and fulfillment than he fundamentally believes himself to be worthy of, in order to come back to the familiar and comfortable level of fulfillment. to play into your analogy: if your happiness and fulfillment always equal out to zero, how high can you allow for that zero to be for yourself? notice that there are no physical limitations to feeling fulfilled, creative and loving. I highly recommend the book "the big leap"by Gay Hendricks

it's a funny thing how straight guys believe themselves to be fundamentally insufficient in the face of straight women, believing to need perfect circumstances or just something straight up magical to even get them attracted, but then when encountering gay men believe themselves to be absolutely irresistible, lol if attraction is involved, it could potentially hurt him some way, but that's his choice to make. Just don't lead him on. It's best not to overthink this. I, for one , have had great conversations with gay men who openly stated they were attracted to me. No biggie. Just remember it's his choice to make once you see there is nothing to worry about for you; chances are he's not a teenager

hink this passion should be there. Would you say that getting attached to that thought ("I should be feeling sexual right now and if I don't it means something bad is going on") is a way of imprisoning myself and actually hindering the possibility of connecting with my sexual desire? @possibilities Thanks for your response. Could you elaborate a bit more on what you mean by "if it comes from being"? @JustThinkingAloud Thanks! I guess I'm so used to a concrete way of behaving and that's why it still doesn't feel authentic when I try out different ways of acting. I dont know how to quote on here and trying to do so I seem to have messed something up Anyway, there does not seem to be much to add to your reflections. this problem appears very mind-made, however the solution does not lie in more thinking. That is what the author calls "grappling with your gremlin" and it is a sure way to give him all the power over yourself to make you miserable. Instead be aware of what is going on and through that shine a new light on the problem and see if it actually holds any truth. If not (most likely outcome) you can try and act out anyway you want but (and this is very crucial) you now do it by choice. to the fellow above who liked my reply I wanted to say thank you, I appreciate the feedback very much! I did not dare to quote again, however lol

you have developed a carefully crafted act for yourself that you have confused for an integral part of yourself and now changing the act feels like changing yourself. Realize however that you are not the act but the observer behind it( this is a very worldly insight, not at all mystical) and that changing the act does not mean changing yourself. start changing your act with a very playful attitude and after encountering fear initially, you will feel the excitement and aliveness of spontaneity. I can very much recommend Rick Carsons book "taming your gremlin" in which he lays out how to understand and overcome the deceptive force of your gremlin by this three step rule: (1) Relax and simply notice (2) Choose and play with options (3) Stay in process Additionally you might find the zen theory of change useful: I free myself not by trying to be free, but by simply noticing how I am imprisoning myself in the very moment I am imprisoning myself. So just start changing your act a little and see what works for you. remember to keep it light and playful and don't think in terms of must, ought and should. your writing displays great mindfulness btw, keep it up, best regards!