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Socializing is where the spiritual rubber hits the road. How open can you allow yourself to be? How authentic? How vulnerable? How free are you in your interactions, how playful? Where and how do you judge yourself? There is great value in observing yourself in social contexts. See how fear works into all this. Aim for furthering your understanding of yourself and reality. See how well you express your deepest knowledge and being. See how you inhibit yourself through all kinds of internalized bullshit. Without meditation I could not do this at all. So this is really no separate process. Whichever of these two you feel more drawn to you should focus on- or even better: whichever one of those two you resist stronger.

I think it is a great exercise for building up intimacy. If you are into that kind of stuff, here's a checklist for intimacy taken from the book radical honesty. tell each other your entire life story taking about three hours each. tell each other your complete sexual history including how many people you had sex with, what gender they were and the details of what you did with them masturbate to orgasm in front of each other with no assistance from each other tell each other of any affairs, near-affairs, necking, day dream, arousal, or flirtation you have been engaged in since you've known each other take turns in a half hour monologues in which one of you agrees to be silent while the other speaks.tell your partner everything you resent them for and everything you appreciate them for. After you have both taken your turn talk about the monologues for at least thirty minutes. Whichever one of the above you haven't done that you least want to do, do first. With one exception: the last recommendation. Taking turns at monologues should be done after the others are complete. *end of quote* Perhaps you will react against some of these quite strongly. That's when you should consider doing them even more. If you should decide to do some, or even all of these I would love to hear from you about how it went. Hope to have been of help, best regards.

Don't fall prey to the narrative of romantic love being the driving factor behind a successful relationship and once it ends the relationship has to end. Romantic love is an intensely beautiful experience where you feel whole and have a sense of belonging and a heightened sense of self-acceptance and ease in life. It is not the ground on which a successful relationship stands. It doesn't even have to be the starting point. Contrary to what most people believe you can fall in love and out of love with one person repeatedly, and this is what usually happens during the course of a successful relationship. As you discover and rediscover yourselves over and over again, you fall in love with each other over and over again, and ever deeper. What then is the foundation of a successful relationship, if not romantic love? Consider what your highest vision for two people sharing their lives with each other looks like. Surely it is not making each other feel good all the time. Instead it has to be about depth and wholesomeness. About mutual understanding and acceptance. About having someone with whom you can completely and utterly strip yourself, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Someone with whom you can share the depths of your being, all your petty thoughts, your insecurities, your fears, your hopes, your weaknesses, your ambitions and your undesirable traits in a quest for mutual self-discovery. Someone who can make you see through your own bullshit. There's much to add, but do you see how the basis goes much deeper than just romantic love? Do you see how this can get you and your gf caught up in an upward spiral of growth, wisdom and being? What I would suggest you do is come together with your girlfriend and investigate together into what your highest vision for your relationship could look like. Go in there with some pre-written questions, like: Do we really need to fight? Need there be misunderstanding? Do we need highs and lows? Do we need to hold anything back from each other? etc... What you absolutely need to do is tell your girlfriend about your thoughts about falling out of love. Absolutely necessary, though I understand this thought alone is probably extremely frightening to you, because the outcome of that is completely open. Read the book Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton with the upmost sincerity and pay special attention at the relationship chapter. There's lots of very practical and useful tips plus a profound vision presented in this book. I hope you can take something away form this rather lengthy reply. Best regards, my friend

@Aeris I don't really see how that relates to what I wrote here, I'm sorry but I don't understand what you are trying to say.

About a week ago I had my first panic attack. It was the most intense suffering I have ever experienced. I would describe it as total hopelessness and rampaging insecurity of an intensity I have never felt before. There was nothing beyond this feeling, nothing good in my future. I was in a weird place where I was watching the suffering and was at once one with it. I saw the deceptive self-hatred and still believed it. I felt completely helpless and there was nothing I could do to stop it, nowhere to go. There was a strong feeling of it being too late, of me having surpassed the point where my aspirations, dreams and hopes and everything based in my higher values was still achievable. Like I now had to settle for mediocrity. All the while my breath was very short and my body shaking and my jaw clenched and a strong pressure pulsating on the top of my head. I vividly imagined being an utter failure and burden on everyone I know. A complete embarrassment of a man. The thing that helped me was sleeping. I slept for solid 12 hours and woke up refreshed and throughout the last week I have felt an increase in hope and future-mindedness, social freedom and self-acceptance. Now the feeling is back, not as strong but still strong enough. Right now for me it is literally true that I can never find my life purpose, that I will be unable to progress anywhere. Mind you, I am twenty and see how that is probably nonsense but it is true nonetheless. I'd appreciate anyone's imput who might be able to help me here. I don't think I got the discription down very well, I also tried to not overexaggerate and make a fool out of myself. Just know that I am not in a good place right now. Thank you.

She has an amazing energy. Great share, thank you :). I'm currently going through Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton and it has presented me with a scary and exciting new vision for honesty, authenticity, interpersonal relationships, connection and psychological health. If you haven't already you might want to check that one out I recently shared the story on this forum of how I overcame the neurosis most prevalent throughout my adolescence and it was quite a relief as I was now telling the truth about believing to be the person who got over it. Telling the truth let's us see, dismantle and outgrow beliefs we hold, and leads the way into a new way of wholesome, sensitive and present being Where in your life do you not tell the truth, why do you feel this talk is relevant to you? I'd really like to hear your beliefs stated aloud

Jiddu Krishnamurti Peter Ralston Rupert Spira Eckhart Tolle Osho Ramana Maharshi Shinzen Young Ken Wilber Lahiri Mahasaya Paramahansa Yogananda O.G. Krishnamurti Leo

Most people identify themselves as the part within them that wants to pursue some higher goal or value like good diet, meditation practice, working on LP, etc... and perceive within them some other part that actively works against that. Then the struggle begins to overcome that part and you go back and forth. If you were to see yourself as the entirety of this process you'd have to come to terms with an uncomfortable realisation: you have and do exactly what you want. Your struggle is just a way of avoiding that realization and to maintain the division within because of fear of the unknown and the comfort of disfunctional certainty. Facing uncomfortable realizations is hard and it's going to get worse before it can get better. If you guilt yourself for not using your spare time effectively, then ask yourself why it is that you don't want to. Don't say that you do want to. The struggle is just a way of holding up the comfortable delusion that you want those things. If you actually did, you'd do them. Hope this can be of any help. Best regards

@Aaron p It's great to have the concept in mind and from your writing I suppose you know that concepts don't really count for anything once realization is happening. I once came up with an analogy that I quite like: the analogy of the rainbow bubble. You see, a rainbow bubble seems to be a real, tangible thing moving around in space and time. With a clearly defined inside and outside and a boundary between those two. But if you look at it, inside and outside are literally the same, the same air. The bubble is not a tangible thing but it exists as the boundary. Once the bubble is popped (great analogy for what, you might think :)), the boundary collapses and what has always been one is one now. From my reading I suspect there are deeper insights to have into the nature of nothingness, void god and so on but the the bubble popping is what I have yet become conscious of. I also like to put it into this phrase: the ego is identification with experience. It is the clinging to something that feels permanent, where there in reality is only constant change. I hope it helps you in any way, stay on track, my dude

I am almost 100 percent certain I once read his Wikipedia entry. I could be mistaken or it might have been taken down. This site cites his Wikipedia page: http://www.thefullwiki.org/Peter_Ralston , which makes me think it got taken down. Which is weird. He's not famous because he is way beyond any current cultures center of gravity and most people literally could not want anything to do with his teaching. Consider yourself lucky you do

Assess your growth and situation not by how it stands relative to where you perceive others to be. That's just a trap. Feelings of superiority will inevitably arise here and there when browsing this forum because after all we can all just communicate so much through words, and there is more to people here than they can express. It is rather petty to compare yourself to an obviously incomplete image of another. Now why do you guilt yourself so much for these feelings? My guess would be that you have a self-image that you fail to live up to from time to time. This creates conflict and friction. It is easy to get lost in spiritual pursuits and experiences and forget about the necessary foundation. If you are petty and arrogant, so be it. But if you have a self-image of someone who is very spiritually advanced, you can't face that. There will be pain. Much growth can be done at the foundation and your baseline of consciousness is more important than your peak experiences. The petty, shallow and insecure self needs to be integrated, the ideal needs to be dropped for true growth. I can very much recommend J.Krishnamurti on this topic. His Commentaries on Living can very well accompany you for a lifetime. As @Charlotte said, you have a remarkable ability for self-honesty. Use that and don't waste it on mental masturbation. Let me ask you an all-decisive question: When's the last time you hugged you mom?

Uninspired work because you need the money falls into the quadrant of urgent but not important.

I'd watch that movie ^^

Any tips on how to wake up better, more refreshed, excited and in overall well-being? I seem to have a problem in this regard. Any input will be highly appreciated. Thank you!

I read his book some time ago. Thanks for the advice. Ordered some. Don't know how I could have missed this one for so long judging by the reviews I read. Thank you! Did that. Felt great. Was awkward at first. Never danced sober which means I haven't danced for some time. Seems like I have really missed out on something. Thank you for bringing it into my awareness. I feel like there's more potential to dancing than I am currently aware of. How's your experience been with it, any additional tips? Thanks for the detailed reply! @Knock Thanks dude, always a pleasure to hear from you

@Mezanti Most people here seem to suggest an introspective approach, and of course it might be worthwhile to try and grab the problem by the root. Claiming it is the only way of overcoming neurosis is to think of a clear causality of cause (deeper problem) and effect (manifestation as neurosis). Thinking like that will have you think that working on the effect is superficial and results in no true change. I am of the opinion that a human's psyche is way to complex for direct cause and effect. Instead think of your neurosis as a strange loop between the deeper problem and the neurotic manifestation, having no true beginning or end and being ultimately groundless. Changing the outward manifestation won't leave the root cause unchanged! Let me tell you the story of how I got over a strong neurosis. Due to some events in my early childhood I developed a shy bladder(being unable to pee in front of others) and internalized the belief that that meant there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I'm almost a little ashamed to say that during quite some years of my early adolescent insecurity this became the most pressing issue of my life and had me terrified of anyone ever finding this out about me. That neurosis completely warped my self-image in such a way that I always felt (not consciously) that there is something wrong with me that I need to hide at all costs. Until after a couple of years (and meditation) I got so fed up with it I just went to a pissoir to confront this fear. Literally the most scary place in the world I could find myself in. My heart started pounding, I started sweating and getting real nervous, my breath went short and it felt like dying. Of course I could not pee. In the midst of that after a few minutes I was able to collect myself enough to realize something profound: nobody there gave a rats ass about me. Truly liberating ^^ It took some more approaches but eventually I overcame this problem and now the pissoir seems only a little scary That's my tip on how to overcome neurosis: confront it directly. Feel into your body while doing it and let whatever energetic happenings that might occur unfold. Realize that a neurosis by definition warps your perception and that you are likely not in real danger. I hope my little story was of any help. Best of luck to you. Don't let anyone tell you that surface level change won't be real change. Neurosis is mostly in the body anyway, as far as that duality holds true. You can do it!

Very similar situation here. Grew out of partying, drinking, going out and having lots of friends when I was around sixteen. Spent my latter years of high school reading, thinking, meditating etc... and completely cut back on my social life. All that is still out of question for me and outgrown for good. I rarely look back though lately I have felt a similar dissatisfaction with my hermit ways and located an urge for deep, authentic, meaningful relationships and friendships that I'll now try and actualize in my life. Doing this work all by yourself is unnecessarily hard, I think. My advice would be not to guilt yourself into going out with people you don't resonate with and against better knowledge and intuition. Try to see where that dissatisfaction comes from and how you can act on it in a way that is more aligned with what you truly value right now. Also check and see how that guilt comes from trying to please and soothe other's you don't want to worry about you. If I had no knowledge of what this work is about I would be worried about my self-actualizing son.

There cannot be intimacy while one of you still hides traumas. The good news is that traumas can be worked through and that relationships can be used as an effective vessel towards that end.

From my POV thinking is a valid form of inquiry and has gotten me quite some insights. Many people on here might have transcended the need for thinking and now want to point directly at being for others but seem to forget they they,too, once needed thinking. Thinking can get you some places. Not absolute truth, but it might be helpful to that end still. Just be careful not to overindulge, do frequent reality checks while thinking and have it be one means to further metaphysical inquiry, knowing that ultimately only direct experience counts for shit. @Knock I found your elaborations interesting . Don't let these people encourage you to stop thinking prematurely.

In eliminating bad habits it is crucial that you replace them with a healthy habit that fulfills a similar role. For example replacing excessive web-browsing with reading, or masturbation with meditation. You must be able to sorta satisfy the urge for the bad habit with the new healthy habit. Also as has been said habit planning needs to be done long-term, one habit at a time. Don't rush this and don't overwhelm yourself. Have a clear picture of how you want to be and then be wise enough to be patient. Plant a habit for at least 30 days to 90 if it is hard to make it stick. Be very honest and proceed with the next one only once this one is completely incorporated. You can plant as many as 12 habits on one year that will serve you well for a lifetime. Alternatively you are free to struggle with too many habits at once, fail to do it suffer backlashes and get nowhere during the course of that same year. I'm confident you have the wisdom to choose right here. Best of luck to you, don't beat yourself up to much. Backlashes are only there to bring you some specific clarity you needed and to then thrust you forward in growth.

There still are more or less direct pointers and more or less accurate pointers. The right idea might mean nothing when compared to direct experience, but it still is crucial to get the conceptual framework right. Everything else will be a waste of energy and time.

@Leo Gura What do you say about Andre Doshim Halaws elaborations on consciousness in "God is Nothingness". He says that consciousness is dependent on the body and ends with it, as opposed to Nothingness which exists regardless as the formless, underlying foundation to the world of form, but ultimately one with form. He says: "Some readers may be wondering why I say that Awareness is not the Absolute(...). If pressed as to whether or not consciousness is the Absolute, I would say, that, Mind is not Mind , yet neither is it no-mind. (...) In Nothingness, there is some degree of awareness present -it is not how most people imagine brain death- albeit unconditioned, object- and subjectless. The Consciousness (for lack of better word) of Non-Being is so subtle that the moment we try to reflect upon it to check if we are conscious, we are jarred back into 'bein' and into our ordinary dualistic consciousness. I hesitate even to call this experience 'pure subjectivity' as that invites a metaphysical position that I am not willing to support.

@Giulio Bevilacqua this is a good thread and I think something many here experience. From my experience, going through something similar right now, it comes from having seen through parts of your bullshit and now some behavioural patterns have just dissolved, cannot be maintained. That's where the emptiness now resides. Your job is to figure out what to fill that emptiness with now in ways that feel more authentic to you. This is a fun process but can be frightening as the outcome is very much uncertain. Learn to love that exciting uncertainty and just test the waters here and there doing whatever comes to your mind naturally. This whole things bears great potential for insight into self. Just bear in mind that this is just a phase and that emptiness likely is not the highest expression of authenticity.

He's great and I enjoy his political commentary a lot. smart and precise and aiming at a greater good. Lacks some qualities that I would say are crucial for yellow in how he reacts against people. Respectfully and rationally yet there is an inability to actually consider what is said and make an effort at truly understanding where someone is coming from. Watch this video from about 09:00 minutes on.

Do, or don't. There is no try Good for you on picking that book up. Just pay special attention on the "how to deal with anger" part. Nothing I could add to that. Also contemplate the books content in a metaphysical, transpersonal context. It was surprisingly wise and full of spiritual insight especially in the beginning but the author is still biased against woowoo and towards rationality which closes him up to many things. See how the books content relates to the ego and it's control mechanisms, authenticity, Truth and other things.