BlessedLion

Sorry brother. That’s a low blow. I’m just curious was he saying it in a sarcastic degrading way or was he seriously interested and just kinda socially stupid? I’ve had people say to me for example “aw you’re living it up man I’d love to just sell all my shit and be a hippie on the beach” but they don’t say it in a disrespectful way. So I don’t take it personally. My next point is that he has no understanding of your situation and is just projecting. Don’t let his insecurity pull you down

@Dazgwny This helps. Thank you @Leo Gura I admit I lack understanding. At this point in time all I can do is surrender and trust that is really is Goodness and Love.

Leo in your latest blog post you write about a skeleton hand wanting to show you all the horrors of reality as if God is happy and proud of this. I find this quite sickening. All the deep anguish in reality, the torture, the pain, the serious addictions… What kind of loving God would be joyful in this? I mean in a sense you’re not wrong because it exists and if it exists that means God is allowing it and therefore loves it. But how can we find joy in this? Or be proud of a God that loves child slavery? I mean imagine a child who had no choice and was just a slave tortured for 50 years then died. REALLY contemplate this. Not just some image in your head but really contemplate that life. Why? What kind of sick thing would allow this? My only reasoning is that I don’t think God actually wants this to be happening, it just set up reality and is watching it unfold. Either that or it’s just so far out of my understanding that the only thing I can do is trust this God is actually loving and surrender my doubts and questions

Thanks again guys. If anyone is interested I have an update; I took y’all’s advice and saw her last night. When started hooking up I stopped her and said I was feeling a bit inward, then I explained everything that was going on with me. Mainly that I didn’t feel like I was in the space to go into any kind of relationship and that I feeling more blocked from her. I was pretty honest. She was very understanding and kind about the whole thing. And she said her side of things and that she was really enjoying it with me (as was I) and we were both learning a lot. After I saw how understanding she was I felt a huge weight off my chest, I started talking with her about being open and loving ourselves and not feeling bad for how we feel and what we experience. This got us into talking about Universal Love and God and I was sitting there looking at her and I just saw so much beauty. I just let go of all my monkey mind thoughts and I told her “I know I’m confusing right now but you look so fucking amazing” I felt like I was on a dose of mushrooms. Everything became open and psychedelic. We went deeper into our fears, our spirituality, everything. Then we made love, for hours, and It was some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Totally innocent, expressive and free. It was truly heart opening. We went from sex to talking to laughing to massages to cuddles to eye gazing, all night. So to be honest guys, I have no idea what this means or where I’m at. Even after the sex she was saying “well I’m going to miss you” so it’s clear she knew it was kinda ending Part of me wants to keep going and part of me is resistant. I wish I could just make a decision and follow it but I’m torn. Not sure there’s much advice for this, I think I’m just going to feel it out and let it unfold day by day. thanks anyway guys

I want to do a heavy metal detox but have these fucking fillings

@ThePoint Ainslie MacLeod: Living the Life Your Soul Intended episode of Oprah https://open.spotify.com/episode/3HM98V9VvqPZzfElGHSAkW?si=3vrhlw5aQU6pwOZp1nhWeQ

Totally depends on their vibe and body language when they said that

Cocaine is the worst, lamest drug ever , so overrated. If you want to really be a badass drop acid, that’s a ride

Agreed. It’s almost a completely different human actually. Those who are born rich, they’re fine, some become absolute scum bags and others are just kinda clueless, like they just seem kinda innocent and clueless in a way because their whole life has been so easy (usually) and they’re so sheltered from real suffering. Those who make it from the bottom up, man, those are some badass mother fuckers. Especially if they created their own thing. It’s like core values are instilled in them and they appreciate everything they have. Imo at least

It’s tough to make serious cash while maintaining integrity and purpose. The money is in the bullshit and exploitation

Quit jerking off , especially if you’re watching porn, man that’s likely your biggest problem that’s keeping all this. When I quit porn, my anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and anger/sexual problems all lifted pretty much magically. Quick Google search on porn effects of the Brain, Ted talks about porn, I totally disagree with Leo’s take on this. Porn corrupts you spiritually and mentally. Read about semen retention Go talk to girls. Find some community, people who are into personal development. Search for Mens groups, this will help you see others who are embodying this stuff. Go travel, switch things up. Take a trip. Backpack in Bali. if you really are thinking to kill yourself if it doesn’t get better in a year then stop fucking around and take your life seriously. Take action. Drink Ayahuasca in the jungle, get a mentor, stop eating shit food and jerking off. Or don’t, and ya know, stay depressed. Visualize yourself if you go another year like this, then visualize what it could be like if you turned it around and starting crushing it My last recommendation, drop the self help books. The wisdom is within. Go into nature and spend 3-4 hours a day sitting there in absolute silence. I guarantee if you do this daily for 2 weeks you’ll be healed significantly

Wow. Thank you all for the heartfelt advice here. I really appreciate all your input. @Loba & @Tyler Robinson the thing is I’m not sure if it’s a 100% no for me. I can honestly say I’m not 100% in it, but there’s something in me that keeps wanting to see her, I find myself daydreaming about us meditating and hanging out together but another part of me knows I’m not likely in it for the long haul. I think I’ll talk to her about what she wants and if she wants monogamy or something more casual. I’m open to all the emotions and love and going deep but that just isn’t coming up for me. I kinda wish it was but it’s just not happening. @Tyler Robinson Yeah I try not to cut people out abruptly unless they start attacking me, that’s my one exception. I probably drove one girl off the wall by blocking her when we were in love but she fucked my friend so it’s kinda like, “yeah you’re on your own there” actually her doing that drove me insane for about 3 weeks. I could barely talk eat sleep. So ya I won’t do anything like that to this angel, but maybe Loba is right about just stepping away. Im also going on a 10 day silent retreat in a week so that will be a great place to reflect and such.

I forgot to mention that when I confessed how I felt about everything, she understood, then we still had sex after. She said that I was a man about what was going on internally and that I didn’t act like a horny little boy about it. Then she jumped my bones. So idk maybe I’ll just go with it, but I just have this intuition that it’s going to end up painfully.

That sounds rough man… do you watch porn? If so, cut that out. Also look into Semen Retention. This will help readjust your natural sexuality in a healthy way. Look up Tantric excercises for Men. Also I highly suggest you just get a sex therapist. You sound like you have a lot of blocks and beliefs around sexuality and a trained professional will likely help you. This is def a problem worth fixing.

Fuck no. I wish the videos were even longer.

Doing my thing in Mexico

@Leo Gura David Hawkins says something similar to what you’re saying here at @ 24:40 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uhEFE57plE8 Reading books is so fun though especially juicy books on metaphysics, and things that’s raise your intelligence

Respect yourself more, and build other things in your life so you don’t even notice when someone doesn’t answer your question

That’s so lame

I usually don’t read posts this long but this was absolutely fascinating and it flew by. You sound so much like myself. Thanks for sharing and writing so beautifully! I also have a strong narrative and beat the shit out of myself when I watch porn. But I will disagree with you a bit. It seems like you submitted to the addiction when you know it’s still kinda fucked up. But I also think the level it fucks you up is totally dependent on the type of porn you are watching. Here is my chart 1. Soft porn, no genitals showing, just a girl in a cute outfit 4. Lesbian Porn 6. Amateur Porn but like a couple having loving sex 8. Stepmom/Stepbrother 10. Abusive, Dominating, Fetish, Punishment Basically if you jerk off to images of a cute girl in a bikini shaking her ass you probably won’t feel that bad. But it escalates very rapidly to hard core stuff which actually fucks you up spiritually and emotionally. I’m convinced. I think it’s cool you eased the brakes on yourself. But man, don’t let the porn win… just my take. I also struggle with this heavily

Solid advice!

I think Leo is absolutely right on this video. I notice when I’m alone I become so much happier, connected and alive, and much smarter as well. Recently I was in Los Angeles and I got depressed because the people I was around were just partying and melted into comfort. There was no drive for consciousness or awareness or even being a better person. It started giving me massive anxiety. I realized I would’ve been much better off just alone and reading the whole time. Maybe that’s just me though. I can also appreciate the social game and I’m actually quite good at it, not amazing, but I can work around a conversation and hook up with girls and stuff. I just find being alone more enjoyable and authentic. That said, I think there is a specific level of beauty and connection you can only tap into from socializing that you just can’t get alone. And when life gets tough you want people who are loyal around

Jeez. I need to do 5 MeO, so much of my practice is dedicated to emotional mastery/healing

@Leo Gura In the solopsism video you mention that everyone else and their experiences are being imagined. Which I totally agree with, it’s pretty obvious actually that any idea I have of what another is experiencing is imagined in my “mind” through language, assumption, and patterns. I am projecting that onto them. But in Infinity of Gods you mention that it’s possible there are other Gods who are all playing this game on earth. Therefore, other minds, other experiences, literally. Can you please help me to understand this better? Would you discount the statements made in Solopsism then? Thanks

I think people are free to appreciate whatever they find beautiful. I find porn to be very relaxing and heart opening at times. But at the same time busting a load makes me lose focus energy and passion. It’s just a fact, it’s a bad equation for me. Overall porn is fucking men up in a deep way