arlin

Im 21 years old It may be that i don't have that much experience. However, i approached girls many times. Sometimes i got loughed at. To be fair, some cute girls smiled at me but i didn't have the confidence or the self esteem to see that maybe she was being open to me. This is soo true. In fact, on instagram i feel bad looking at girls and eveybody is just about looks. It really sucks... BTW do you having a good social profile helps? If yes, in what way? Yes you are right, i agree with that. I am in the process of it... im in the process of healing. In regards to love the way i look, it seems interesting i will work on that for sure. Are you a dating coach? Is this what you are saying? Btw, about ugly guys getting results, that's interesting. Well, im just trying to accept reality and not go too far with my expectations because i will be hurt as i have been too many times. So im moving towards accepting the fact and find a way to still feel valuable and important in the world. You know what i mean? But you seem to know what you are talking about. I want to get better with girls, and even if im ugly or not, i will put myself out there and try to become more confident for myself. Because this is my mission in life (i have big goals). If i wanted to improve with girls, what are the action steps you would say i should take first? Basically, can you give me some advice on how can i grow my confidence in this area of life? You are not the first guy that tells me this. I have a bum in my nose and i don't like my smile... i think im not downright ugly to be fair, but below average, or slightly below. Also, i don't have a good sense of style. I will work on that. I agree.

@Globalcollective i agree with you. but there is a problem. If you are good looking or average and have traumas and are unconfident yes of course, of course it will blow your fkin mind away with your results that you get after working on yourself and you will say "see? it was never about that". People like good looking people but this does not mean you know how to create sexual attraction and are confident and have good personalllity etc.. Fact is that an ugly guy before or after trauma is still ugly. I don't know if much changes after all the work. At best is to find a way to be at peace and deal with it even though you are ugly, undesirable or unappeling etc... this would be more realistic because fact is that guys like me have been shamed not for their confidence or traumas but looks. Girls loughed at me and my ex called me ugly everytime and made fun of me (im aware of the abuse, but still). So telling guys like this looks don't matter is invalidating their whole reality and pain, and gaslighting them. it's horrible. Btw im very open minded so always opened to your views.

You are describing me. I resonate completely, we have similar problems. I resonate with you when you say girls enjoy your company but won't be attracted to you. I also thinks looks matter and first thing is, nobody will say this to you. Because beautifull people want an excuse to fool themselves into thinking that their partner is attracted to them not by them being good looking, which of course if you were good looking, you would do the same thing. But there are people like me (the photo here covers flaws such as big nose) that their personal experience says otherwise, that thei get ignored, in my case i got shamed. And if you reach out everybody will keep gaslighting you. Im tired of this bullshit here. Looks matter to everybody. The focus should be on how can we, as ugly or below avarage guys, still live a fulfilling life? How can we? Did you find an answer to this? We can chat sometimes.

@VeganAwake understood

@VeganAwake You view of things is correct but this does not mean to not be open minded anymore. Since it is infinite, consider that maybe there can be more to it. At least this is the position "i" take

it's normal. i have this experience too after no self realization. The character still has choices, decisions to make and ways to make it's life better after awakening. awakening really brings nothing to the character.

it just made me feel like a stupid in front of others and sad that nobody understood me.

So i was talking with someone i hang out with about how life can be improved. I do self-improvement on my own, and nobody knows about it (only 1). I was talking with this person and he kept asking me the question "how do i know". He told me that internet is not a reliable source because scientist and folks always argue against each other and nothing can be knowned. I sustained that the internet is an amazing tool for information but you have to be open minded and do carefull researches on your own, ultimately verifying everything for yourself in your life. To me reliable informations are: People who already have improved and are teaching to others, scietific studies, books of course. etc etc. He kept insisting that it was bullshit and it drived me crazy a bit... Why are people so closed off? If i want somebody to get past that, how can i? I told him, it's only excuses, only if you prioritize your self-improvement (which he is not minimaly interested in), you will find the answers for yourself in one way or another. But it was useless.

yeah i think ur right

Thank you @Leo Gura!!!

Thank you

It came to my mind lately. Consciousness by definition is "to be conscious of", that implies a subject object experience. But non duality says this is an illusion. It is not real.. How is consciousness real if there is no separation? Doesn't consciousness imply separation? (to be conscious of?) Then you say: "No but, the work we are doing here is consciousness realizing itself, becoming more conscious of itself". You see, this implies another subject-object experience but this time, you make it seem like something real justifying that it is happening within itself. Isn't this separation trying to overcome separation? Isn't this the answer to why you will never reach an end to this work? Seems like there isn't any consciousness then. It might be the illusion. If you say "all there is is consciousness", It doesn't point to the fact that there is no actual real separation. (consciousness= to be conscious of= subject-object). You say nothing is real, but consciousness is. so this gives the ego a sense of safety and knowing (thereby falling straight into the illusion) . But you can't use more knowing to talk about unknowing. It's a loop you can't escape from no matter how much of "god" you realize... What do you think about that? Thanks.

@Someone here but experience implies subject object. You said this is it, there is no distance. Then you say that what im telling is false? Im lost.

@Someone here yes exactly. Its just reality happening. But what i don't understand its the "you" part. The self is completely illusory. I equate consciousness with the you, or the self, because to me the you its not only the story that you tell yourself about you (beliefs, emotions, thoughts,memories etc) but to me is the experience of being the center of all happenings. It is an experience. Experience that knows he is here and now, prior to any story, thoughts or emotions. @VeganAwake am i getting it?

@Shin very confused. @Someone here this is happening to no one in the sense that it's not happening to a me which has a story? So You say its not happening to you, its happening to consciousness.

@Adamq8 no. There are no objects. Even the screen in front of you is the infinite screeing and thats it. @Someone here how did you realize that?

@VincentArogya@VincentArogya @Mu_ nothing can go right or wrong but also you can't find anything. Any answers are within the dream. There is no path out of it and the rules of the game are not not to get stuck in the illusion. Illusion is all there is here. Dream is all that this can be, so why do all this work to try to get answers when there are absolutely no answers but only delusions? You can realize all sort of things. You can realize that you are god, that you are everything or infinite. But all of this within the dream. All of this would require further understanding or still feel like something is missing which automatically confirms the separation. Its a never ending loop... Right? @VincentArogya

@Mu_ well i don't know anything really but im just afraid that if i explore consciousness no matter how many things within it i realize, it will always be a "im conscious of", that implies separation and so it's an illusion. Getting more lost in the dream than ever. @Gesundheit @Shin what i talked about is not about what consciousness is. It is about recognizing that to be conscious of anything, implies separation and so it's a dream. For example, to be conscious of this moment, implies to be separate from it. To be more conscious, it still implies ti be separate from it. Only now you have made it seem like it's a bigger deal. A bigger dream. Im afraid if im going through this i will just make the dream bigger. @VincentArogya@VincentArogya @VincentArogya

@VincentArogya@VincentArogya yes this is what i meant. That the objective reality is nothing but then there is a tendency to say that it is non-existence. But i guess im getting lost in words. How? @VincentArogya I feel in at this place. But i was referring to psychedelics. Which one do i start with and why.

@VincentArogya allright, thank you. What about the part of an objectice reality and solipsism? Yes there is only this, whatever it is. And maybe when you say being is just a word that points to it (being would imply not being so getting lost in dualities) . I intend to do psychedelics in the future to contemplate this by myself, even if i feel that i can't trust myself to know anything... In your experience what should a newbie start with?

@Leo Gura No. I have realized that im void but to me when i close the eyes the entire universe dissapears such as i doubt the existence of an actual objective universe... I think it's called solipsism but also i realize there i so one here. It's void. So i don't know what to call it....

@Leo Gura when you say nothing is real, you mean this is nothing being real? How do you know that is "being". Because this is the word used usually. How do you know this is not-being at all. And literally nothing exists? "i" have had a realization that im void and arlin is just a character and doesn't really exist. If this is what you call awakening, then that's what happend. But what that showed me @r0ckyreed is that i can't trust anything. I feel like i don't have a base in which to say what this is. I feel like absolutely nothing is real, there are no answers and i, as well as other people are completely imaginary in my mind... This does not mean that i can't have friends or relationships. Or that the body doesn't need closeness with others. But at the same time i know they don't exist.I feel like i can't know anything... I just don't know where to go from here.

But when the body dies, it realizes that is itself? Or is this something that can be done only when you are alive? Since in death there is no one to have that realization. But how can i be sure that everything is at all? Maybe it isn't. After all im going to die and nothing will remain.

But then what is consciousness? Why do you keep saying that the point of life is for consciousness to become aware of itself when this implies separation? Wouldn't it be better if we said that all there is is the wall? Because it wouldn't make any difference. Actually in a way it would be more correct because consciousness implies to be conscious of and so separation. But even if you say the point of life is for reality to become aware of itself this is still separation. As though reality can split itself to look at itself (this is illusion, there is not two). Also, becoming aware and conscious implies knowing. And this is not about knowing... Yes but you can replace that with everything. You can say that a chair is what illusions are made out of, and wouldn't change anything. Saying consciousness is chair, or that a wall is a chair, or you are the chair makes no difference. Everything is everything. Problem is when you begin saying that consciousness can know itself, then becomes a duality so it's an illusion. Like above, doesn't matter if you use the word consciousness. You can say that a chair becomes aware of itself. This is still illusion because it implies separation. Everything that implies separation is illusion. Isn't this the whole point of non duality? We can say it is pure isness? Problem is when you say that infinity can be aware or conscious of itself, this implies separation. All separation is illusion. How can infinity realize what it is if he can't split itself apart from itself? As though it can be an obect to itself. Isn't that what the experience of separation is? Which is of course illusion.

@Someone herehere what i meant is that i can't rely on my eyes, senses or eyes to say that something is real. Its like i have no ground. Where do i go from here?