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@VeganAwake this is nicely explained thanks.

@mandyjw This was awesome, thank you.

Nice nice nice. How did you realize that? meditation? what kind of meditation?

What if i use the word full? Everything is that but is not that. In the sense that is that but it's also full. and this fullness expresses itself in all of reality. With this phrase here: Are you saying that there is no "not", but there is that something which is indescribible in words that permeates all of reality? (call it void, full or any other thing like that. like infinity, etc...)

But that is separation. If there is no separation, that automatically becomes illusion right? What do you mean by "Not" is actually "not"? "Not" to me says that thing here, is it and it's not in the sense that is void. And is the same void expressing itself in all of reality. He says that conscousness is part of illusion because there is no separation between subject and object. he believes of course consciousness is something the brain does and is the sourse of "me". right @VeganAwake ? (btw how are you my friend? )

@Vittorio thanks.

I know what you all will say. That "i" was never born. That's fine. There can be a realization like that here. I realized the past is imaginary and this is not coming from anywhere. BUT. There is a body here,or an apparent one. And that body is changing, so, it was an infant at some point and at some point it didn't exist. So where the fuck was "i" before i was born? What was "this" reality like, before i was born? I struggle with that because i have no memory of it (of course). Was "this" alive before a "me" came here? Or did it become that way only after a "me" appeared? I guess i struggle also with "sleep" of course the body sleeps. I see others sleeping and i go to sleep at night. And then i wake up. So where was the "i" when the body slept?

@mandyjw Thank you or your explanation this was good And yes of course, i will write my own story

Not intended to do that now but yeah, thanks

"You" basically "live" in this state? Or only when you meditate? What's your experience like.

@James123 Yes of course, im aware of that.... But thank you

I already do this myself, thank you I've not studied in depth buddhism or yoga. I've considered many other teachers but it's true. Especially because leo talks about epistemology which i think it's fucking awesome and important and to be fair i don't see others studying it. Also, leo is very rational it seems to me, which i fucking love it because im very conceptual and rational myself. I have to understand and dissect at the core with the mind everything. I can't tolerate missing out on something without knowing it.

@Leo Gura AH!!!! Allright,thank you. See? That's why i told you i need guidance with this. I now understand why you are talking about different facets and things like this. Fuck, where did i get myself into.

@Leo Gura My fucking god but it's too good to be true. There must be something else to this...lol

What you mean by "finally collapses too"? I can meditate and i really don't know why, but i fear loosing myself completely but also there is, like you said, a bliss state that can emerge and im afraid. What is this sense of bliss? what is your experience? Isn't that ego?

@mandyjw i realize that there is a sense of bliss in the total surrender but also fear. But this is allright. Yeah i can see how if i meditated for example i could see the image in front of my eyes as void and indescribable. Also there is a sense of wander "wow. What is this?... Wow... What is this?!" like "i" am seeing it for the first time.... Was that also your experience? Mm.. Like there is not a brain so i get it that it's just a story. But leo, when "i" close my eyes and the body goes to "sleep" what the fuck happends there? (just to be clear, im comparing the state of sleep with the death of the body) In the sense that it's a story. Right? Something that the "i" believes. Allright. Yes exactly. I wanted to hang myself or shoot myself. I called my mom and told her for the first time i was going through "a tough time" and cryied in front of her. I held her hand trying to "please feel like she exists". Really believed i had to go to a psychiatric hospital. But nobody would understand and nobody could help me. But i've gone through that now. And was able to stop and keep my mental sanity so to say ahaha. Yes awakening is something else... To be clear, i never had a god realization and don't know if it's true what you say Here. But, i don't know if i agree with you here... After all reality is me and i am reality. So if somebody helps me it's like im helping myself no? Leo, i believe you also meditated with someone for guidance, red books or had mentors or somebody that you trusted. Especially when you go through a tough time to be fair. What if i loose my mind doing this? There is nobody i could compare my experience to! Also, is a state of bliss awakening or is it just ego? What's your experience? When i talked about annihilation there also is a sense of bliss... But im skeptical here when talking about something that is too good to be true.

@mandyjw Im aware of abraham hick. What im talking about here, i know you wont believe me. Nothing changed and everything changed and i can go deeper. I think "i"" have had deep realizations somehow. It's not true what you say. I still have an "i". But there is a realization that it's illusory. Also, thoghts, emotions are not happening to "me". But i won't bother explaining myself if you don't really know what im talking about. Have you had existencial realizations yes or no? This is false from my experience.

@Leo Gura Im conscious that im void. if i meditate now, which i wont, i can go further and my whole reality would fall apart witht the past not existing (im creating my past right now) and no free will realziation (which im getting comfortable with). but then i will dissapear and there is fear. Fear of total surrender. At that point will be total annihilation as though nothing is happening but everything is full and not understandable (but recognized by the void). But there will still be "this", a body, tree, sounds of birds, etc. "This". Now i guess my question is, "this" is still this because the brain is interpreting that way. But when the body dies and there is no more activity of brain. Then The body,tree,sounds of birds will also dissapear. What remains then? I guess you have never seen this also. Also, i went through the phase of mental breakdown and of going crazy. Now i stopped meditating. I feel i need guidance with this, real life guidance. I need to seek some kind of enlightened master if i want to go further. What would you raccomand leo?

@Gesundheit I actually have a vivid memory of being a fetus.... but before that i have nothing.... @tsuki I didn't understand this.

If a person like that would awaken he would not understand what is happening and his whole reaity would fall apart. So he would feel like he is going crazy and so are you saying that awakening can make things worse? In this case?

Death is that full awakening i suppose right? I mean, you can't get more awakened than total annihilation. I think with the term "guaranteed" here you mean that god creates time and starts all over again. Because with "guaranteed" it supposes that it's not in your control. Again, i know you said that god really isn't free. That you are locked in being nothing and love. So it will create the highest love. But if "create" implies an intention, and intention implies to be free to choose... But i guess the concept of "free" and not "free" will be only understood by awakening, and we are lost in dualities at this point.

And those can never be known until you are human? Seems weird because if you awaken to god then it's strange that you can't know this. Can it be that you carry in your consciousness, at then end of your life, your regrets and deep desired and then those are the things that get carried on? Yes but awakening lasts what the psychedelic lasts and then it's over... I meant, how can you actually as god be eternally peacefull and complete? Since there are always experiences, this can't be done... Or when the body dies, there is that. End then something else is created.

So when you die everyting will restart from scratch? Like, the life that i live here doesn't even matter, i could become and start all over again without any memory? Or does it work that actually, based on what you lived here you will incarnate in something "higher counsciousness"? What do you believe leo? Also, if all there is is experiences, how can god feel complete? How can god realize itself? I mean, you can awaken as you did many times, but how can god actually be complete? Realize itself fully? It seems like this is just an eternal dream from what you say. And will always be a gap between experiencer and god (even if they are the same thing).

Hi, tanks for sharing. can you talk about this more? About the process of working on this insecurity that was causing you pain and then becoming free of it. My main insecurity is my face.

Hey, i am on this journey like 1,5 years and i understand you completely. I have gone to the point where i was so depressed and mentally damaged that i depersonalized basically. Or had an awakening or experience of no self (dont know yet). But trust me, if you keep going you wont regret it. You have to think that you are doing what nobody does. You are going straight to the pain you are working to improving youself. And if you are open minded, you will find a solution to the problem of feeling depressed and being damaged mentally. BUT, i have to say. This process is constant, i know how you feel. You probably work everyday on yourself and it is even lonely. I have learned many things on this journey. One of them, through experience, is that it will fucking suck when you do this at the beginning. You will fail, i myself have been ashamed and regratefull to the point where i wanted to just kill myself for starting this path. I have also learned that it is fucking important to keep your mental sanity and NOT GO TOO FAR. LOOK, if you can't take a break from this work there is a problem. Take breakes, stop doing everything, take time to reflect and to be lazy sometimes. I know now, why so tiny fraction of humans do this work. It's fucking tough. Fucking tough. The question you have to ask yourself is: Does your heart feel? Does your heart believe in your future? Does your hart know???? YES OR NO?? ASNWER. DOES IT KNOW YES OR NO!?!? No matter ur shitty circumstances. Or whan your brain says. If your heart knows, you are on the right path. Look, you have to develop self love. You have pushed enough on the journey. Ask yourself: If i stopped working on myself what would happen? What would i feel? Would i feel like something is missing? Ask yourself again, what do i really want? Now i am going to share with you, something that if you listen it will change your life but you have to answer first and then i will answer. Do you have friendships?