arlin

Who did you learn that love is unsafe from? Usually this remings me of abandoment fear. All stuff related to childhood,you know.

Yes im defensive because you are projecting a lot of shit. Im not defensive and envy from a place of despair. But since you didn't took the time to understand what im feeling (projection), this is what you see. You came here starting your posts like they are truth, and didn't take my view into consideration. This is really disrespectful. Notice how people here are taking the time to acknowledge what are my feelings first and to emphasize. When i told you to be more realistic, it's coming from personal experience. because i've been that guy that approached tons of girls etc, thinking looks didn't matter. Have you been in my position instead? Well, it seems not to me. There is a difference in feeling envy and being ok with it because you accept yourself and see it as a valid thing and normal to be had if anybody here would be in your position, and feeling envy and feeling sorry for yourself. (Of course there will still be some suffering) This is the opposite of resisting. If you are here to keep attacking me, NOT to help me, and insisting that there is something wrong with me or with what im feeling, you can leave this thread and go somewhere else, i don't need that. Ok? I'll stop replying to you. I wrote too much. Hey bro you are right, i have experience that. You are absolutely right, that's what i see is sugarcoated answers. But i still appreciate that people are trying to help. Yes, that comment was laughable. Although i still thought that there might be a tiny truth to that. Thank you, this is what i need to hear. Not some watered down social advice. You seem to be realistic guy. Hey man, thank you for acknowledging my situation first I don't think im ugly like you look at me and you cringe lol, but not even good looking. Im working to have white teeth in the process. Your advice i find it very usefull, for sure i will look up to that! Im practicing with letting go and wellcoming good emotions. I think metta could be a variation to that or some addition. Hey man, we can do that if you want, just DM me.I also agree with the enlightenment thing but it's more advanced. I agree with this. This is not true in my experience. I have experiences with women but im not going to explain them all here. if a girl tells to your face she doesn't want to fuck you because of your face (lol) i don't think this becomes an ideology anymore rather than a lived experience. I agree with you that i have to be very carefull not to get wraped up in my believes, but i also advice you to open your mind to the possibility that this can be real impediment for some. I agree with you in fact im interested in working out and building a strong body. Also trying to become more confident (self improvement is all my life). I also agree with you that life can be more unfair. But please, don't use those things to completely disregard my experience or what im feeling because to be fair, it hurts and i don't need this anymore. I found your style of writing a little bit cold for the situation, that's it.

@Nahm Seriously. Don't you think this work is too dangerous to do alone? At least to a certain point. You could end up fucking yourself up. If you want to do this alone it's fine. Im just saying.

No. You can forget about all this and brainwash yourself back to normal again. You can do it.

This equates to peace? Ahahha I think if you have people to support you or guides, not if you do this alone

If you go down this rabbit hole you will go crazy, im warning you.

@Axiomatic THIS. IS a usefull advice. Thank you man BTW, i did what you wrote the other day, seem to get a little bit better.

@Shunyata Who told you im feeling sorry for myself right now? beware of projection.

@Shunyata Sorry i don't mean to offend you, but i find your comment to be rather silly. Everybody gets old and unattractive and sick etc etc. It's not something reserved to some and not to others. Those are just further justifications to not come down to earth.

If yuour self-esteem issues run deep (example childhood traume,abuse), you can't fix them by your own. Don't listen to who says you you can simply do an exercise or read a book. If it runs deep, you have to contact the parts of you that you feel ashamed about, fearfull about and open your heart to people who really want to listen. This involves going to a therapist first and then finding people who want to come towards you, instead of you going towards people. This will train your nervous system to associate being vulnerable with social rewards, closeness,safety and subconsciously as strength. You can see here how self-esteem is developed. Im talking about real emotional self esteem. (Normally this happends in childhood) (obviously resistance towards being dependent on others will come up, but don't forget we are a social species, and it's normal to feel insecure when critizised, as it is to feel good about yourself when praised.)

@Megan Alecia Let's take a disable person and give him the same advice, ok? So i have no legs, and you tell me to go work on myself. You people are too much in the dream world when it comes to self improvement. You need to come down to earth. Everybody has limitations and sometimes telling people "You should not be envy, that means something is wrong with you" is counter productive. Envy is a normal part of life, if nobody became envy at others for having food,money etc.. humanity would have never have grown.

is it even an experience? how do you know it's peacefull when you are not consicous of it?

@Shunyata be more realistic kid. We live in this world now. It's not all roses out there. But it's ok to shoot high.

yes of course but this doesn't guarantee that girls will be attracted to you. You can love yourself as much as you want but if you don't get pussy, you don't. that's it. I hate when people enphasize too much this self love or self confidence thing. It's bullshit. Confidence and self love also comes from the outside. If im always been bullied and rejected by women because of my fucking face, how am i supposed to be confident about it?

@Leo Gura What about the other facets like love? Do they come later if you go deeper into meditation, or do you need the help of psychedelics for that? I mean, can you awaken to something like infinite love only by meditating?

@Raven1998 do you actually experience not having free will right now, yes?

@Moksha

@Moksha Yeah we are getting confused. I was just talking about the fact that, if you loose your sense of self does not mean you experience your body with the outside as 1, for example.

No, noself does no automatically imply that you merge with reality. At leas, here was not this way. I think that is also a matter of how deep you go .

with the falling away of the self, this automatically is seen more clearly for what it is. Thoughts are thoughts, body is a body. Choices are happening. But the one who interpreted those, cling unto those etc.. it seen it's just another sensation. When it happened here it was hell. Don't go for enlightenment in life

yes of course. it survives, but nobody holds on to it. The body will protect itself, or try to survive the seeking energy then comes and claims it like it's "me" that does it. Same things for choices. I think what you are trying to say is that you don't experience being one with the universe or something. That's right, noself does not automatically mean that you will become at union, that's another realization.

it's the recognition that there nver was somebody who made decisions, thought the thoughts and moved the body. It just happened all on it's own and then the seeking energy comes and takes responsability for it.

@Axiomatic good idea. good luck

i think enlightenment is possible without psychs. Look at frank yang.. @Raven1998 Do you feel like it's you thinking thoughts? or making decisions? Or they happen on their own and you ara aware of them? Basically, are you in a no free will state?

@Raven1998 really? what's you rexperience like? What was it like? Was it disturbing or all good?