Iulia

Thank you for the recommendation, i also thought about asking around for good books about sex, attraction, relationships.. Will watch the video too. Have a nice day!

Thank you for the recommendation, i also thaught about asking around for good books about sex, attraction, relationships.. Will watch the video too. Have a nice day!

Hello everyone! Ever since I discovered Leo and followed through his work, listening to his videos weekly, i started seeing things really different than before..i'm in the process of becoming more "aware", but also more "uncertain" about what i want.. I could have written all this in a journal, but i feel like sharing my deepest thoughts and fears here is the right thing to do, as all of us are seeking meaning and progress here.. i could use a different perspective. My main "concerns" now are my relationship and my career.. i'm 25, in my third year of marriage, we live with rent, have pretty small salaries, but my husband is thinking about opening a business.. my problem is, that I don't know why, when thinking about our future, buying an apartment,having a baby, etc... it's like something within me "freezes". I never really dreamed since a young girl about the white dress, at this point i don't dream about having a baby either..i always thought it's normal to feel "unprepared", but i started to wonder why i tend to take a step back when things tend to get serious.. What i really want for sure, is to help people feel good about themselves.. I'm passionate about fitness and i intend to become a fitness trainer, and i would also love to do coaching at some point, as I noticed I have natural inclinations towards it and i'm buying psychology books almost every month.. but i know i need to "walk the walk and talk the talk" for this also. When studying a free life-coaching course, i learned about the importance of asking questions. So i just want to share with you guys some of the questions that i'm asking myself currently: Why do i always feel sexually attracted to some guys from time to time.. what is it that i lack in my relationship? Why do i feel the need to seduce? Does this reflect some kind of deep unfulfillment about myself? And how do i find out what than unfulfillment is? Why do i feel like i'm not the "family" type of woman and i dream so desperately about freedom..does this mean i'm running away from responsabilities? If i come to the conclusion that i just want to be free... why would i be scared to just take charge of my life? Why do i feel the need to face life alone..and why i'm scared like hell of it at the same time? How should i find out what is that which my soul is screaming for, and why is it that i can't get the message clearly? If i love him, despite all the financial problems, shouldn't i be able to do my best to work at my life purposes with what i can at the moment, while simply trusting the process? I'm also thinking i should start meditating daily, journaling and positive affirmations.... to 'clear' my head. I just fell into this analysis paralysis...and unfortunately this isn't the first time. It happened, i talked to him, then i thaught i'm making too much of a deal about it.. then went on and got back to uncertainty.. i'm in a vicious circle and got stuck again.. Did you struggle with this kind of questions...and if so, how did things turn out to be in time? I know i should accept the situation as it is in the present moment but i can't help but thinking about things.. Thank you all if you read this far. Can't wait for your opinion.

Awareness Coaching? Personal power coaching? Inner strength coaching? I guess these are already available though

I strongly agree on that too! Since i got into personal development, i'm like that kid whom Leo talked to about how many awesome stuff he can do with his life, and he was like "Ooh really?! I never even thaught about it! Cool!!" I hear people now and then saying that their biggest realisation in life are their kids, and they think I'm weird when I say I don't want that necessarily in order to give my life purpose. Not living to my full potential would be one of my biggest regrets on the death bed.

Uh i really got excited about the titles here. They sound great. I have the bad habit of starting a few books and reading them simultaneously from time to time, so the books i'm on right now are: "I thought it was just me, but it isn't" - Brene Brown " Emotional intelligence" - Daniel Goleman "The road less traveled" - Scott Peck

@Anna Konstantaki Yeah i did all that stuff too, but i wanted to understand why i keep having dreams and what that means for my subconcious mind.. As i wrote above i wouldn't be able to have a conversation with my dad as it would turn into yelling and lots of anger from him even if i didn't do anything to provoke him, just opened the subject.. Maybe i'll try with a letter.

@Nomad Yes, did thought about it but unfortunately at the moment i can't. I don't think if i will ever tell him something as our relationship had been always distant, and i always had the feeling he does not "see me" as i am at all.. all he ever did was moralizing and tell me things like a stupid shit he told me once " i gave you birth i kill you" etc. He has anger problems and everytime i share with mom ideas or principles about how i see life he gets angry, as if i'm being naive and childish ..He expects others to treat him with respect even if he didn't actually do anything to earn it.. He simply wouldn't understand my feelings and his big ego would take them as a insult.. even if i were calm and didn't criticize him personally. I also considered writing him a letter..maybe this would be the best way. Thank you!

@Kelley White Thank you for your warmth That's why we are here, to learn from each other's experience, to open our minds and souls for learning different approaches on several issues in our path of self-actualization .. i think anyone who feels shame or has second-thoughts about doing this is not doing it "right". Ego is a motherf***er, heh Also, congratulations for choosing to change your life and let go of all things that don't support your growth and led you into self-destruction. I wish many people ( as i wished for my mom in the past ) would see within themselves this power and take back control over their lives. Stay strong!

Hey everyone! I woke up this morning having again of "those" dreams i'm having from time to time. And i really urged to write it down here now. I grew up with an alcoholic father, every weekend he got drunk and yelled at my mother from 9 p.m until 4-5 a.m, while i was listening to everything. I kept trying to convince my mom to leave him, that we would be better off without him, that i can't stand him making her cry one more day.. i remember telling her all this after leaving home for a few days after a big fight... Well. I'm 25 now and at 19 fortunately my father stopped drinking, after I left home and went living at my grandma's so i could have peace to study for college. In order for me to get back home i made a list of "rules" for him, like - stop yelling at mom - stop manipulating her -stop being violent Things like that.. I made 3 copies for all of us to sign it. While he said he was missing me, his ego was too big to understand my intentions and reacted like " Who do you think you are to ask me all of this?!" Few months after he quit drinking for good. Maybe i triggered something in him back then that made him concious about losing us, i don't know. I'm proud of him because of doing it as i never thaught he could. Now, i'm into self-actualization for over a year and i feel like i'm "reborning" slowly in this proccess, and i'm having dreams from time to time. Sometimes i dream about arguing with him, like yelling at him ( i never did this in childhood ), he beating me after, and i wake up crying in the morning. Last night i dreamed that i was in the neighbourhood i grew up, and I met a friend of mine. He asked me " how are you?", i told him " wait i'll be back and talk to you" and i ... flew. Like, actually opened my arms and 'flew" away. ( hilarious, i know ) I wanted to come back to the place i flew from and talk to him, but the "speed" took me to another city. When i realized i'm too far i started crying and asking a woman in a bus station to tell me what city is that and if i could get a bus to get home. While waiting, i saw right there a house of a family which i felt i knew and visited before, and from the moment i went into their house, i felt like all of the things that happened , have been happening to me before in the exact same order.. I don't remember exactly what i was but i felt fear and pain while living them.. I remember my mom came there and i was trying to persuade her into leaving my father, and as she used to in reality, she got back to him after... and i was feeling alone and "betrayed. After that i told her i have to leave her and could lot live like that anymore. Before i fell asleep last night i heard my neighbours quarelling, and i'm guessing that triggered something in my subconcious and provoked this dream. I know that in the proccess of my evolution i must forgive my father and everything he did, my mother too, and accept them as they are just because they raised me up as "best" as they could, they simply didn't know better and that's not to blame. While i thaught i really forgave him, turns out that's maybe just a mental forgiveness but i still have root issues i have to work on. Is there anyone here experiencing this? What have you realized in the process and how did you cope with it? Thank you, BIG THANK YOU for reading all of this.

Hey everyone! I woke up this morning having again of "those" dreams i'm having from time to time. And i really urged to write it down here now. I grew up with an alcoholic father, every weekend he got drunk and yelled at my mother from 9 p.m until 4-5 a.m, while i was listening to everything. I kept trying to convince my mom to leave him, that we would be better off without him, that i can't stand him making her cry one more day.. i remember telling her all this after leaving home for a few days after a big fight... Well. I'm 25 now and at 19 fortunately my father stopped drinking, after I left home and went living at my grandma's so i could have peace to study for college. In order for me to get back home i made a list of "rules" for him, like - stop yelling at mom - stop manipulating her -stop being violent Things like that.. I made 3 copies for all of us to sign it. While he said he was missing me, his ego was too big to understand my intentions and reacted like " Who do you think you are to ask me all of this?!" Few months after he quit drinking for good. Maybe i triggered something in him back then that made him concious about losing us, i don't know. I'm proud of him because of doing it as i never thaught he could. Now, i'm into self-actualization for over a year and i feel like i'm "reborning" slowly in this proccess, and i'm having dreams from time to time. Sometimes i dream about arguing with him, like yelling at him ( i never did this in childhood ), he beating me after, and i wake up crying in the morning. Last night i dreamed that i was in the neighbourhood i grew up, and I met a friend of mine. He asked me " how are you?", i told him " wait i'll be back and talk to you" and i ... flew. Like, actually opened my arms and 'flew" away. ( hilarious, i know ) I wanted to come back to the place i flew from and talk to him, but the "speed" took me to another city. When i realized i'm too far i started crying and asking a woman in a bus station to tell me what city is that and if i could get a bus to get home. While waiting, i saw right there a house of a family which i felt i knew and visited before, and from the moment i went into their house, i felt like all of the things that happened , have been happening to me before in the exact same order.. I don't remember exactly what i was but i felt fear and pain while living them.. I remember my mom came there and i was trying to persuade her into leaving my father, and as she used to in reality, she got back to him after... and i was feeling alone and "betrayed. After that i told her i have to leave her and could lot live like that anymore. Before i fell asleep last night i heard my neighbours quarelling, and i'm guessing that triggered something in my subconcious and provoked this dream. I know that in the proccess of my evolution i must forgive my father and everything he did, my mother too, and accept them as they are just because they raised me up as "best" as they could, they simply didn't know better and that's not to blame. While i thaught i really forgave him, turns out that's maybe just a mental forgiveness but i still have root issues i have to work on. Is there anyone here experiencing this? What have you realized in the process and how did you cope with it? Thank you, BIG THANK YOU for reading all of this.

Oh i definitely want to be involved!! Feel free to self-actualize me whenever you want!

Thank you all. I must update, that although i told him the truth and he accepted it, i'm in a situation in which i cannot ACTUALLY leave because of some financial problems.. i would have to go leave at my parent's in the end who leave in another city near me ( i hate living there 'cause they are old-fashioned and my mom would worry about "leaving him alone" all the time ) .. this would be temporary as i plan on looking for a job and settling in bigger city in the end. Also, now, even though i cannot leave for good because of lack of money..i consider living there for a few days/weeks.. in order for me to be actually separated and not try to resist again.. Meh

@The Son Oh thank you so much.. you really put a big smile and an actual tear of joy in my eyes I told him i don't want him to see me as his only reason to fight for in life... can't wait for him to be truly happy.. Can't wait for the rest of my life,been missing it a lot, heh.. Thank you again.

@walterwego I'm really sorry for what happened to you.. I can't say i'm as strong as you think because actually i kissed a guy too, so... I just wanted to stop being tempted to cheat.. I guess the wise thing for you would be to make your best to leave it all behind, because in the end your kids will want you to be happy, and i'm sure you want to be a positive example for them in the long run. Also that's something that's really possible even though right now it's hard to believe. I wish you all the best, and don't stop looking for that power within, it's there.