JonasVE12

Develop your capacity to feel your internal energy centers. That is where releasing happens from. Not the mind. Most people are too much in their mind to be able to release efficiently. You can develop this through doing a daily letting go practice where you just sit with yourself for an hour. Like a meditation. And in this meditation you let go of your mind and become one with your energy field in and around your body. Try feeling the heart, pelvis, forehead etc and get a feel for the region around those places as well. Expand from those places into the areas around it and feel as much as you can. Do not force, let it come to you. And never analyze. Let go of everything. If you can deeply feel, you can release and that will happen on its own. You will know when you release when you feel lighter after. And releasing is like peeling an onion. You keep removing layers. You do it everyday for a long time and after a while, you just feel lighter permanently. And then all the good stuff happens.

Hehe story of my life. I very much did the same thing for years. Hopped from the one thing to the next because I was always making decisions from the mind and not from the heart. If you are contracted within a survival paradigm because you have not fulfilled those basic needs yet, your decision process tends to work in parallel with that contraction and you tend to perceive things in ways that it relates to fulfilling that survival because that is your highest need. A lot of fear is tied to survival and it drives a lot of your decisions. There is no work around. You have to find a way to settle money wise and feel okay in the moment. For example, I got a sales job at Apple and it fulfilled my basic survival needs. That gave me comfort and containment to choose more from the heart as I did not have the fear anymore. And I also enjoyed the job very much as I had to socialize all day long which I enjoyed. Did not feel like working. That feeling that I was paying my rent, my food, and all the other bills was the containment I needed to get more freedom and emotional expression in other aspects of my life. I could choose more from a wanting energy, rather than a needing to energy, and this makes all the difference. Then mastery is something you work towards through having discipline and intention. But most important, love from the heart and a lot of joy. When the decision to achieve mastery comes fully from the mind, It is never a good idea. It has to be about the thing itself, the creation and unfolding of that, the feelings, and not the image of where it leads you.

You have a push and a pull. The underlying desire of wanting to embody what he has gets you pulled towards him because in some way, you look up to it and want to get close to it, feel it. And on the other hand, because you yourself embody feelings of shame, fear and distance to what he has, you feel less. You feel you are not worthy of what he has, but you get to experience what he experiences from a distance and that feels like `walking in his shadow`. And that in itself brings more anger and shame. The solution is to work towards releasing your feelings and becoming powerful in feeling worthy and confident. You get there by doing the work and taking action as you suggest. Those feelings exist because if you put yourself out there, the world acts like a mirror for how you feel about yourself. And it will keep giving back what you put in. So if you never change, all the same stuff keeps coming back.

Explore more your feelings underneath your thoughts. All those stories are driven by what you feel about yourself. You are projecting your feelings onto the world but it has everyday to do with yourself and the feelings you embody.

It was a lot of fun though. Should give it a try.

The 1% rule, each day builds up, and when you give yourself that chance to not do what you are supposed to do, you start from 0. We always run from tension when it rises and becomes too hard to step through. When you finally compound that 1% each day over those 3 months lets say, everything becomes easy and your life changes. What matters is pushing through the resistance and not letting yourself don't do it. And if you feel like you really can't do it and you slip into apathy, then do more basic stuff first that builds your self-trust and self-esteem. Like basic goal setting. daily cold showers, healthy eating, waking up early, daily meditation. Basic stuff that gives you the self-trust to push through the more difficult emotions. How can you ever be consistent with difficult things like healing your emotions if you can't trust yourself to keep the easy stuff consistent. All adds up. 1% rule baby.

I did travel a ton the last 2 years. More than I ever have. I also met more people the past 2 years than I ever have in my entire life. I feel like in no way the pandemic is limiting me in exploring life. Quite the opposite. Maybe in your country it is more strict but I think in general it is more about how you feel and what you focus on.

And did it make you feel lighter? Did it release any emotional tension from your body? If you do it right and you have a release, your body instantly feels lighter and this gets accompanied by more positive thinking which slowly builds more positive belief if you do this daily and put much of your focus on it. You ask me if what you are doing is correct, but I can in no way tell what your consciousness is doing at that point. You might be trying to release from the mind/head through analyzing and thinking about it. This is typical when too much in wanting/forcing energy instead of just relaxing through the body and letting it come to you. A release has to be done through connecting with the body and letting your minds activity slow down to the point you have very little thoughts. What can help prepare you for releasing work is to do some self hypnosis sessions. This can help you understand intuitively what it is like to be in a really relaxed suggestive state where you can release more effectively. Or do some group sessions of holotropic breathwork. They also get you into that same state that is needed for releasing work. Or do it solo. You can get in some very deep meditative states this way and get an experiential understanding of the depth of relaxation that is necessary for releasing work. This is vitally important. The mind needs to slow down and the body fully inhabited. Once you are in this state of consciousness. Full relaxation, little thoughts, fully here in the now, then you can do some releasing. What you do is slowly getting in touch with your energy centers in your body. Chakras if you will. You can call it whatever. Emotions are stored and experienced in the body, so we just use chakras as reference points to describe the areas where we just put our attention. If you can't locate your chakras, read some books about them or just do some research. So, if you can locate them, finally you can do releasing. So you slowly get in touch with your energy centers/chakras and you start to feel into them. remember....feeling. No thinking about them. Slowly open them up with your ability to manipulate consciousness/energy in your body. We all have this ability, don't think about it. Feel your heart opening, feel you connecting with your self-love, with your courage, with your ability to love others, to forgive, to feel powerful, to feel peace, to feel here and now, to feel non judgmental. Feel that energy. It has a very distinct quality of openness and acceptance and allowance of the present moment as it is. When you feel the energy blockages coming up, allow them, accept them. And love them. Open your heart to all of what is. All is perfect. You are perfect. Can you feel this? Is your mind resisting this process? Welcome that. Are you resisting welcoming your resistance? Welcome that. Welcome all of you. Feel all of your energy centers opening. Experiment with grounding yourself into the earth. Feel that the earth is supporting you, allowing you and loving you. Feel the back of your legs, spine, arms and ground your tension into the earth. Some extra tips: It is also important to get away from your center of comfort. Your house probably. Release outside of your home. Go to a park, sit there and feel the park, the people there, feel the nature. Go sit under a tree. Start the releasing proces. Feel that the trees supports you with grounding. They absorb your negative energy just like it absorbs CO2. Afterwards show it some love and appreciation The most important tip in all of this is to do this daily for months and you won't believe who you have become after you have done this process long enough. You won't even remember how you felt because the old patterns have removed completely from your consciousness. Realize that this process takes time to unfold. The first times, the mind will probably be thinking a lot and analyzing. That is normal. Frustration can come, welcome that. After a while, your inner guidance will be strong enough for you to recognize what you should do. Do the things suggested above, seek the relaxation, the quietness and then release. Now I will tell you something about my personal releasing journey. I had a lot of shame in being myself. In expressing myself towards others, I was painfully shy and shameful when I had to show myself to others. I felt embarrassed everywhere I went. I even felt embarrassed at home and was in a permanent state of cringe. I could not stand the way I was. Crippling shame. Couldn't go anywhere. Felt defective and flawed. Very lonely and isolated. And I had this for when I was getting into highschool. After discovering the self-help world, I finally found some hope to change, did lots of stuff, psychedelics, meditation, intellectual spirituality, reading, affirmations, detox, diet, therapy, exercise, yoga and nothing seemed to get to the root of my problems. Then finally I began to understand more holistically what beliefs are, what emotions are, what attracts certain experiences, what is energy, what is our body, what is consciousness, free will, thoughts, how we can manipulate our reality using our mind and body. This holistic understanding through studying all different modalities and techniques is what helps you form that understanding of how all these things interconnect. Releasing came forth from that understanding. First I released at home. I made a lot of progress this way. I got out of apathy thanks to that. Apathy is basically the heaviest energy that makes it so you procrastinate, analyze constantly and keeps you stuck. Then I released outside in parks, slowly faced my shame and fear of people. Then what I did is triggering all the shame and fear in my chakras when really confronting all of it through approaching people and just expressing without filter. I then released in those moments, never making it about how I felt, how they felt, just how all of it was how it was, and loving all of that through the body. I went to strangers to release while talking to them. Feeling the earth beneath me, feeling the back of my legs, back, arms and feeling that I was grounded and supported. This is a really powerful form of releasing. You seek your resistance to feeling certain emotions, you step into them, and you ground them through the earth and then lastly, you feel your heart opening to yourself, the other person, the environment and everything else. The whole universe loves you is felt through the heart at that point. It felt great. I also did some psychedelics, moderate dose of 150ug I believe and then approached people. This has helped me connect with my ability to release and accept in order for big releases to happen in the future without psychedelics. That said, it is not neccessary but it can help. You can do this fully sober. Psychedelics can align you to the right state of consciousness, but then you will need guidance from someone who understands this process because otherwise it can also set you back and get you in loops that won't help you and can even damage you further. But also that can be put in perspective. Anyways, you can apply this process with all kinds of things you feel emotional resistance to. With all your goals, it is the same process, just a different context. There is a lot more to be said and a lot more nuance to this process but it would require a whole book to be written. I suggest you read David Hawkins letting go, The work of Lester levenson, you can buy the revealing/releasing product from the website of 'the fearless man' which also has a YouTube channel. That channel is mainly about attracting women, but it is a lot more than that. I found that product to be everything that you need to set you up for succes in this process of releasing. The books are also good but might also just be more confusing as it goes into the mind and rarely has an energetic impact. The releasing product of the fearless man is more in depth. I never buy products in my life because most of them are shallow, but this is really something different. I also encourage you to go to workshops, intensives, retreats that will slowly build that experiential understanding in you in order for you to build that interconnected hollistic insight into how to change your thinking, beliefs and emotions. Remember that everything you undertake in your life builds up. Where you focus on, the energy flows. The most valuable thing that I have learned is the 1% rule. If you can understand this rule and apply it to your life, you can change everything around. Things done change instantly. You don't instantly release all of your negative emotions and thoughts. It is not like, okay, I am going to release for an hour and afterward everything is going to be okay. No, You keep doing it for an hour everyday. For 2 hours even. And you combine that will all kinds of other things such as doing the workshops, doing the exploration and all of it will compound over time. It is like a snowball rolling down the mountain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI_KqRmEtQc Good video as well.

Being high conscious means knowing who you are, doing what feels authentic, what feels right to YOU. The spiritual path is not about trying to live up to an ideal of what the highest consciousness spiritual path looks like. The path is about coming closer to who you are as an individual. It is about becoming emotionally free to do what you want to do. To explore your passions and desires. I would be careful absorbing too much conceptual spirituality. Making the distinction between you and your ego can be a valuable realization, but the context around that is a lot more important. the distinction between you and your ego does not make your individuality less true or conscious. Be true to yourself, that's the highest lesson. This kind of thinking is why people commit suicide in the name of spirituality here on the forum because they aspire to be something bigger than what they are but don't understand they are already all of it no matter the shape or form. Don't be so hard on 'your' ego - or yourself? , just do what you want to do and what feels natural whatever that is.

What things are you struggling with and what do you want to achieve? I like to use the revealing/releasing process which when people heal, they all use this, consciously or unconsciously. It is related to letting go David Hawkins, Lester levensons work, the fearless man on YouTube, his emotional embodiment courses are powerful as well. Sedona method, etc. The techniques you mentioned can be powerful as well, but you have to work on getting more in touch with your body, not your mind. Releasing happens from the body and feeling into parts you are suppressing. If you are not moving towards your goals rapidly, you are not vibrating emotionally at the right frequency. If you live in CAP (Courage, acceptance, peace), all of it comes easy. Study deeply how releasing works. And if all of that is not working out for you, it is because probably you are trying to do it from your head which does not work. Releasing is 100% body. For example, here is a video where the guy is releasing and processing his emotions. He experiences shame and fear related to talking to women. The instructor in the video talks him through the process of feeling into his body, locating the held feelings and then letting them go through the body. You can see him escaping to his head, analyzing and trying to release from his mind, which the instructor observes and then tries to make the guy aware of it. It takes a while to get an intuitive understanding of this process, but the video below is a good start. He has very good courses that are definitely worth it. And if you still don't understand it, he has workshops which cost 4k for a weekend, but they are worth it and bring immense value and understanding to your life. A weekend there can feel like years of self development and sometimes even decades. The proces in the video is about negative subconscious patterns related to self esteem and how that relates to attracting women, but this proces applies in every area you feel stuck. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbVFVaqAlFA

Dude, Great job! This really is a powerful exercise. What is the next step? Exactly this what you are doing. As seen in your post, this amount of tension is perfect for you. It is triggering shit in your body which you can release on in the moment. Keep doing this exercise for at least 3 months and don't give yourself the chance to quit. The first day is the most difficult. There will be other difficult moments where you don't feel like doing the exercise and just stay inside, but if you want to finally get this area of your life right, consistency is key so don't let yourself be inconsistent. Don't let your mind take control. You have full control each day. The fact that this exercise is triggering anxiety means that you should keep doing it until you are so embodied and flowing during the exercise and there is no resistance what so ever. Meaning there is no reactive energy at all during the exercise. You remain completely open. This exercise has the power to eliminate 90% of your social anxiety. If you can do the 100 hello's, flirting and connection becomes 10x easier. What makes the hello's work is your connection to your body and how well you are feeling. When saying hello, can you remain open - feel through your chest and heart? Like actually feel through that area and feel people through their heart? instead of tensing up and rising up to your head? Can you look people in the eye while remaining connected to your legs, pelvis, spine? You need to work consciously with the flow of energy through your body. I will link 2 videos which you should check and they will help you understanding the next steps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KhvLGe4-Lw&t=1s

Staying in your home and constantly being on your computer or phone will reinforce apathy. To get out of It, spend time outside of your home, away from electronics. Nature will work best. Forcing yourself to just be with yourself and nothing else will allow emotions to come to the surface. You can then also do some visualization on what your ideal life looks like, and see the contrast with how it is now. Seeing that you are getting older and yet not really accomplishing what you want. Reflect on how that feels. As said above, anger really is powerful in getting you out of apathy. Then you are going to have to face other difficult emotions that the apathy is covering up in the first place. I got out of apathy by forcing myself to travel and did some intensives/coaching weeks related to emotional embodiment. Sometimes you just need a good container for you to grow and you don't need to figure it out yourself. Putting yourself in the right place can activate a lot of healing and get the ball rolling. When you struggle with apathy, you need to stop overthinking, analyzing and looking for the next best thing that will solve all of it. You just need to get something going on which gets the ball rolling.

'The fearless man' on YouTube.

The awareness you have of that is beautiful because now you know exactly what you have to do to grow. You develop a practice to release those emotions. You approach people with the intention of being weird and having them react in the way that you fear and resist. And then you ground those emotions through your spine and legs right into the earth. That's acceptance and non-attachment which when done enough and consistently will release the negative emotions permanently. Eventually you will remain open when this happens and your heart does not close down anymore. And when this happens, you will notice people reacting differently and almost never will there be anyone that reacts unfriendly to you. The same for girls sitting on a bench. You look at them, you keep looking, and you accept it through the body. You feel the tension and ground it. You try to not constrict the flowing energy through the body. You let it be flowing through the heart, pelvis, legs. And do this again consistently until it releases permanently. Of course in the beginning you will be reactive and not dare to be fully vulnerable, but you will gain that strength the more you try. Developing a grounding practice is also powerful because it works with getting the energy away from your head to your legs and feet. That's confidence. You can apply this proces with everything in life. The most you do it, the bigger your life will be. You can work with a tension journal. Where ever you feel heavy emotions / resistance, you write it down, and you go face it. Man, if you make this true in your life. Like it becomes who you are. The guy who is constantly facing tension, then you will grow so much in confidence and attractiveness. Navy seals, fireman, police, businessman are attractive to woman because they face tension and are good with it. They don't run from it, instead they are proactive with the tension which is what you want to develop yourself. Every resistance is an opportunity to grow as a man

I can relate from what it used to be in my life. That is why releasing and embodiment practices are so powerful. There, all spirituality that you practice at home gets put to the test. If you are still so contracted and anxious around people, then what is all the spirituality doing for you? It's nice to have intellectual understanding and feel whole when you are by yourself, but true embodiment is so much more valuable if you want to live a great expansive life. Approaching women done the right way is the perfect embodiment practice. There you can become really one with everyone and break down your ego so you don't feel like a constricted speck anymore. Imagine you would walk down the street and you feel so connected with everyone. No anxiety at all. Everyone receives you well. You get to experience much love and joy. Lots of opportunity. It is a simple process to achieve that. But you have to attune to the right state of consciousness to receive all of it and only intention can bring that.

When we have approach anxiety, it is all about identifying with the smaller part of who we are. In that moment when you want to approach but are too scared too, we are so caught up in her emotions and her mind that we forget that we are the whole universe. When you really embody that, no one can harm you. You see the insignificance of experience in contrast to your true nature. You are both an ego and the universe. Significant/insignificant is also just a perspective so you can choose which one you like when you have approach anxiety.

The only reason you still are not getting anywhere with your approaching is because you are avoiding the tension and looking for a way around it. See, awkwardness is just a part of the process. It is just a feeling. It is not right or wrong. And you are not owning the feeling and becoming reactive to it. Thus avoiding it and making it wrong. How will you ever get a beautiful woman if you don't gain the strength to accept your own feelings. That's true masculine power that woman will test you for when you approach. See, you can be a bit nervous, it can be a bit awkward. It is raw and real. The only thing that matters is how are you dealing with it? See an awkward approach does not necessarily have to attract her. You can just use it to release your nervousness and fear around approaching. Until it becomes very small. They will not remember you after 20 seconds. You are not significant in their life. You are too identified to yourself that you make it seem so big and significant. That everyone judges you. That you are that little awkward piece of shit. Nobody thinks of you that way. Your mind is always projecting based off its own perspective driven by subconscious feelings. Step into the tension DAILY. Own the awkwardness and really feel into it through your body and accept the sensations fully. Don't rise your consciousness to your head to escape the awkwardness. Look into her eyes. Feel your body and be there. In short, develop a releasing practice where you daily approach people with a honest intention and let it be awkward without escaping it. What makes this practice work is when you approach, you feel your grounding through feeling your legs, feet, back, spine and you channel the energy down into the earth. Having good grounding will instantly eliminate all nervousness and awkwardness. Watch 'The fearless man' on YouTube. Best channel on YouTube for this stuff. Stop looking for the next thing to solve your problems, I think intuitively you already know that there isn't and that you just have to approach daily for a very long time.

Happy for you that you healed it for the most part. Good that you fight against your tendency to hide. Never let it win. You have full control. The more you open yourself up in truth and find non-attachment / acceptance, the more you release it permanently. It is a proces of rewiring your nervous system / energetic system until the tendency is gone. I also hide things sometimes because of logical reasoning. It does not come from shame. It's important to understand the difference and if you notice that the hiding event is shame based, then you can apply the releasing proces to it until this is gone too. You want to be unattached in how you express. on the other hand, practicing embodied spirituality is very nice to fixing this. In the end, you are infinite. Knowing that intellectually is one thing, going on the street naked in busy streets while not caring is another thing. Nothing matters. Your idea of you and other people is mind. transcendence of the mind and embodiment of it in your being will eliminate the shame as well because you are not attached anymore. The only reason shame exists is because the person is attached to their mind. It's a synthesis from a lot of personal experience and from working with many wise teachers who overcame this issue permanently. Yes, it is a virus that seems impossible to eradicate when you are in the midst of it. While when you start to gain consciousness and understanding of how it manifests as a system, you can start to see the light at the end of tunnel. The why is important, but it also is a part of analyzation, which can be a form of avoidance in itself in a shame based person. Which is seen through understanding it systematically. And then you move through that. It does not really matter in the end what the origin is of the shame. Knowing the mechanisms of healing is what is essential Ime. Analyzing the issue and healing the issue happen in very different states of consciousness. But they are very interconnected and both essential to understand though.

You have toxic shame and all of your life is just acting out the shame into different forms such as hiding, manipulation, shyness, introversion, embarrassment, avoidance, all of which you show many signs of. Healing the shame that binds you by John bradshaw is a good book for you to read. The most important practice to get rid of this shame is to become aware of where all of this shame is manifesting. Where are you hiding? Become aware in the moment when you do so, when you get triggered. And also analyse your life from a bigger perspective. Maybe there is some things you want to do but currently feel too much resistance to actually do those things. This can be anything. Analyse your desires and why currently this is not being fulfilled. Is there any avoidance? You need to slowly reveal your shame in different situations and practice opening up. Of course all your stories and negative emotions are gonna rise to the surface, and you can either run away which most people do. This is actually what shame wants you to do. It wants to keep hidden. Or you can face those emotions and release them through the body. When they come up, you let them be there and practice becoming non reactive to them. You practice acceptance of the sensations in your body. This is what releases them. If you do this on a daily basis and structure your life around constantly stepping into the things you resist, you will grow out of this very rapidly. Find your triggers, and go towards them instead of running the other way and accept everything. This is what 'letting go by David hawkins' is about. You basically want to transform emotions of shame into fear, and then into courage and then into acceptance. For example, you mentioned trying to improve social skills. Lets say you have shame around being expressive and being seen by people. To release shame around this, you go face it. You step right into it. So in practice, you go to toastmasters which is a community that meets face to face for improving public speaking skills and you go do a presentation in front of all the people there. On your way you will experience a lot of fear, and have a lot of negative thoughts which will say all sorts of things. Important thing is to be non reactive to them and practice acceptance through the body. In the end, you do the presentation and while you do so, you ground yourself. All of the sensations of shame and fear will be in your body. How the presentation goes does not matter. What matters is your awareness of your body and how you are handling the tension in it. Grounding, opening, expansion or escaping and closing down? You need to repeat this proces in every area you feel stuck and shameful. It can be any situation such as talking about yourself in 1 to 1 conversations. To summarise, the most important things are 1- Become conscious of your coping mechanisms: Where are you hiding and avoiding? 2- Go face it, put your body and mind into the situations 3- Practice releasing the emotions through body awareness, feeling, acceptance, letting go 4- Repeat for years, make it a structure Of course there is a lot more nuance to this proces and going into detail would require writing a whole book. Working with people who understand this issue and the correct proces to overcome this is the way to go imo. You need a very individualized approach. Reading the books mentioned is a good start as well as doing the practices.

awareness is multi layered and it is highly context specific. It is a broad term. The most efficient way to increase awareness in relevant ways would be to talk to someone who understands the mechanisms of feeling and can think systematically about them so you can make meaningful conclucions. And for this person to guide you through understanding your own being. Our intelligence and minds ability to comprehend in meaningful and expansive ways is limited when we are still contracted. If you can work with someone who deeply understands you, and has the tools, they can guide you and help you become conscious and expand in ways that you desire. Because we are all so uniquely complex, a general answer probably won't add much meaning. The why and what behind the question is more important. Why do you want to become conscious over your thoughts and feelings? Is there a goal and desire that precedes this intention?

The only way to do this is to make it your life's goal. It requires a long term commitment and daily effort. I personally tried all kinds of different routes to finally get rid of that feeling of being unworthy. The most important thing is to actively confront your resistance to meeting others on a daily basis. I tried psychedelics, therapy, diet, detoxing, meditation, research, contemplation, visualization, hypnosis and lots of other things, and yes, they are all significant and worthwhile to do. Each of them will bring you benefits and build a bit more lighter feelings in your body. But a huge misunderstanding is that they can substitute for approaching. Approaching is what heals you from interpersonal trauma. It is a way to trigger all of your self-esteem issues, your negative feelings in your body, the stories in your mind. It gives you the opportunity to confront and release those. You do this by approaching with a more connected awareness of your body and the flow of consciousness throughout your body. When stepping into resistance, you can observe energy blockages, breath into them, accept them and release until your energy flows freely through you. This will set you free and make you much more authentic in conversations which will attract people into your reality. You need to find that self-acceptance and love when approaching and meeting people. It will create a container to feel one with the other person. It's all in you now. You only need an experiential understanding which will come with time. I recommend a daily practice that needs to be done consistently for a couple of years at least. You have to direct almost all your energy towards this goal. Then you become the most powerful and achievement is bound to happen. So you start at where you are currently stuck. Stop people on the street and ask a quick logical question until you start to feel really comfortable. Master this first. It is level 1 and there are 100 levels. But mastering this level is the hardest. The other levels become easier as you master the previous levels and as you do them more. WIth mastering this level, I mean, ask the question with the most open, joyful and spontaneous energy. Make people smile just asking this question. In the beginning, the first few days will be the hardest and people probably will feel repelled by your energy because you subconsciously push people away in your state of feeling. But that's okay. Rejection is just guidance. You ground it and accept it. You deal with it maturely. You don't close down and start doubting yourself. Of course you can do that, but again, the awareness of your body is what will allow you to work through these feelings and release those. Every approach will trigger some stories and emotions, and you release those through accepting them and not fighting them. This will bring your body in a lighter state of feeling which makes the next approach easier. It creates flow and momentum. When you have released most of your shame, guilt and fear around the first level, then you get into courage, acceptance and love around asking that simple question. In this state of feeling, you are very connected to your own body. You aren't that much in your head and positive emotions flow through you. Here, people will want to start talking to you. They open up to you, even asking a simple question. The essential thing in this proces when approaching is that you are connected and feeling your own body while you do it and release any tension that comes up. You feel the back of your legs, arms, back and you ground your energy and nervousness into the earth. You also feel your heart/chest and pelvis and really relax those areas. That's the first level. Then you increase the tension. And you repeat the proces. It is an integrative approach that lets you embody more and more lighter feelings and really integrate them in your persona/ego. That's becoming more and more permanent the longer you do it. Until it becomes natural and something you don't think about anymore. Level 2 might be saying 'hi!' to strangers on the street that you pass by. 100 a day. Level 3 might be going up and saying that you wanted to meet them. And so on. Level 3 might be level 20 for you. It depends on what you can handle energetically. You have to confront tension just enough so that you feel resistance, but not that much so that it puts you into apathy. It does not take a long time to notice the incredible benefits of this practice. After a year of being consistent with this stuff, you will be completely changed. A lot of abundance in relationships, dating, social and you can guess to what all of this transfers. You become so much more expansive in your life in all areas. its great.

Haha man, I remember when you started to use grounding and letting energy flow more through your body when you were approaching and instantly you made that one girl at the beach attracted. I heard her giggling from so far away . Really powerful stuff.

You need a more integrative embodiment practice that works with the emotional blockages in your body. Trying to change the thoughts in your mind for you to change your perspective can help, but it is not that holistic and realistic. It is very short term and brings little results. If you have social anxiety, the driver is your body which holds all this suppressed energy. Then your mind is formed around this and completely contracted. The thoughts in your mind are a lot less significant than the emotions in your body. Of course they are interconnected and both important, but changing the content of the thoughts will not help relieve the suppressed energy in your body. It helps though. It is emotions that steer the mind in a certain direction. So we need to work on the level of emotions which are on the level of the body. The body holds the contractions that are responsible for the social anxiety. In the end, to heal social anxiety, a new minds perspective will not be enough. Your entire body and energetic system needs to be put in situations where it feels challenged, where it is resistant to go into. Where it feels a lot of tension. Then you need to ground that tension into the ground through your body. You need to allow the mind to go crazy and ground it into the earth until you release a lot of trauma energy. Most people will never heal this because they don't have the subtle awareness of the flow of consciousness in their body. This proces of exposure needs to be done for years in order to heal permanently. You need consistent daily exposure to these challenging situations. If you are not consistent enough, old patterns will take over. When you are consistent though, a lot faster then you think you will receive a lot of positive validation from your external environment that you are healing. People will receive you well and you first won't believe it, but then slowly your own mind will go on board as well and you become aligned to your own self love and validation and everything becomes healed. Cold approaching strangers and trying to build rapport with them is what heals social anxiety. Sitting at home thinking about social anxiety and the cause and how you should fix it doesn't do much. I had been in that trap for years until I finally took action, Oh man, that clarity I received was amazing. Only people who make it a life goal and priority will heal fully. People in avoidance and thinking too much miss out on the healing opportunities. A great starting place are the workshops of the fearless man from YouTube

If you come across attractive to her by how you behave in your sub communication and energy, she will totally not care about your previous lack of social life and dating experience but you have to own the heck out of it and also frame it in a high value way. Don't tell about yourself in a way that you come across as undesirable to other people. that's unattractive. There is nothing wrong with some slight different framing and some lies here and there to feel better about yourself in the present moment. If that Is needed in the beginning to make some progress in your dates, just do it but quickly move on from them and transfer into more authentic conversation and banter. After some successful dating experiences, you'll no longer feel the need to lie. Don't think its morally unjustified to lie just because that has been told to you. If it is needed for you to feel more confident, just do it. But quickly move on. If you cultivated that internal energy that women feel so attracted to, you can tell all kinds of things about yourself that wouldn't be attractive if another guy said it. You basically radiate this energy that she feels magnetically attracted to and the stories and words don't matter because attraction is mostly above that. But in your case, you probably have not cultivated that energy otherwise you would have more experience. So it may not be smart to be brutally honest. if you come across unattractive in your date, then saying the truth will only confirm that for her. Also, warm up socially before the date. Cold approach women before going on the date and you will feel 100x more calm, grounded and confident. That is so important.