JonasVE12

Look at the fearless man youtube channel. That channel is all about overcoming your fears and limitations around social interactions. It is mostly centered around dating though, but it can be applied to getting better socially in general. Not just with women.

Of course you can get rid of social anxiety. How bad do you want it though? The process is gonna be uncomfortable. The sooner you accept that and get comfortable being uncomfortable, the sooner you will get rid of it. You first need to decide in your core that you will make this a top priority for the coming years. Most people never get rid of social anxiety fully because they are not committing to the growth process that is required for healing this part of themself. It takes hard focussed work. Curing social anxiety is not something you do on the side for a week or so, or going to therapy for a year and boom, you are fixed. It is hard and smart work. More smart work than hard work though. Make a decision and commit on it. Decide that you will become confident socially. And do not stop until you are. If you are that far that you made the decision, like really, making the decision in your body and embodying it fully, now you can start. The first step is to look for teachers. And generally, do not read too much books about the topic. Social anxiety is a lack of feeling embodiment. Meaning generally, you want less thinking and intellect. Growing social confidence is all about opening the body and energetic pathways to more expansive feelings. See this path as something that determines if you are worthy of achieving your life purpose. You can never lead people if you are not healing this sense of separation between you and those people. If you want to lead powerfully, become powerful first. When on the path, choosing the right teachings is crucial. Having the exact right container that gives you the needed wisdom is what makes all the difference. Maybe first decide if you really want to work on this seriously and then come back for guidance on the next step.

When you are taking the information/experience in through your senses, letting it go into the body and touch those sensitive parts, you can choose to identify with those sensations and be reactive, or channel them down into the earth in order to ground yourself. Grounding means that you literally energetically center yourself into your spine and legs in order for the energy to pass through you into earth instead of becoming contracted. As well as unwinding all energetic knots that manifest when being triggered. It is a conscious process first but then it because unconscious competence if done systematically and goal orientated. Things you read, hear or experience in any other way can never touch you if you let it pass through you instead of absorbing it. Identify more with your energetic body instead of your physical one. What you energetically model, you bring into your physical reality. If you energetically model relaxation and acceptance, you will bring that into your physical body as a result if done correctly.

You can conceptually point to what is considered to be feminine behavior and personality dynamics but in essence, what is feminine is experienced as such through subtle energetic play between her emotions, her body, gestures, facial expressions, her way of moving on her hips. It is mostly the effortless expression of their emotions through their body that I consider feminine. Instead of rationalizing and being in their mind constantly. A feminine woman is confident in her expression of movement and emotions, communicates gracefully, dresses in a way that accentuates her beauty, etc... If you want to be more feminine, I think dancing classes can work well. As well as acting classes. They get you in your body. Into feeling. Feeling really is the domain of the feminine. You want to release as much tension in your body as possible through these practices. The more you can get into your body, the more feeling you will have, the more feminine you will come across. I came across women of 50+ that I felt very attracted to because of how feminine they were. They looked so much younger and alive. They had so much expression through their body that is beautiful to see. Look at some popular feminine actresses on these talk shows or something and see how they are fully in their body and expressing naturally, instead of constantly analysing and thinking. They just flow like a river.

For each bullet point it can help to write a page of text relating to the bullet point with further explanation, adding further context which will expand the meaning of that which you are describing. You can even contemplate on contemplation itself where the ability to do so in valuable ways is a form of intelligence itself. When you are describing the bullet point in depth you gain a lot more clarity because it forces you to gain interconnection between different parts of your understanding. Which will also help you identify limitations as well as expansion on things you know. You don't really know something unless you can explain it very simply, but also detailed, as well as give numerous relevant examples. The more you narrow down your contemplations from abstractions into specifics, the deeper you will understand as you are synergizing.

@Lincisman 'The fearless man' Youtube channel is the most valuable resource I have ever come across and I have read and studied A LOT of things. https://www.youtube.com/c/Thefearlessman/videos On the channel, you will find everything you need, but Brian also does live events and workshops. For example, he has one 3 day workshop where as part of the workshop, you will be in front of some models and those are women who can see right through you. They will look in your eyes, see all your insecurity and poke at what needs to be poked at. You will feel shy, nervous, and all your limiting stories will come up when she looks at you. But then you will be guided towards releasing all of those emotions right there and then, through letting go and feeling. As you release right there and then, you will feel more grounded and confident each minute that passes. And you will feel the women starting to react different to you as your energy shifts. And then you will notice that you are entirely in control each moment, by how you are handling tension in your body. You will notice all sorts of subtle energetic shifts that either attract women or push them away. And if you got that first hand experience from going to the workshop, it never leaves you. It gives you a direct experience of deep truth that will stay with you and the path to healing and becoming confident becomes clear as day. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are also other events and workshops that are powerful in their own way. You can watch the free youtube channel, which has everything you need really. But if you cant get it through those videos, then you should really consider a workshop.

We tend to abandon intuition and escape to the mind as a defense mechanism for emotional pain and resistance. Could this be the case for you? What is your sense of feeling about yourself in the world? How is your feeling in relationship to others? How do you feel?

Self-esteem is just a construct. It is all about feeling which you embody as a natural state of being. If you let go of opposing emotions, you will embody emotions polar of that which you are releasing, which is confidence, which results in embodying long term high self esteem. Self-esteem never creates feelings or results, feelings create self-esteem. Self-esteem is conceptual. 'Self-esteem' is entirely originated in the body. In the sensations you experience in relationship to something. If you have a fear of spiders, which would be more effective; confronting the spider directly, observing the sensations and letting go of all resisting feelings when in face of the spider, in order that you become fully equanimous and in acceptance? Or would you do the stuff you mentioned?If you want to get rid of your low self esteem with women, you have to gain more experience face-to-face. The only thing that is in front of you and succes with women is your inability to confront the tension in your body that you resist when talking to them. And no amount of thinking and becoming rational is going to change those sensations. Letting go is what works. Letting go is an integrated approach though where you are taking the action, but letting go of the resisting sensations when doing so.

Approaching women is the best way to build self-esteem, man. I struggled with painfully low self-esteem for a long time. Approaching women was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life, until you get passed yourself of course. There is no other way that is as effective Imo. Nothing comes close. See, your mind will always look for reasons why you can not be successful right now. It will come up with stories that you need X or Y in order to attract women, but the only thing you need is self-esteem, which is not found in the addition of things. It is found it emptiness. In letting go of feelings. Each time when you approach, you have the chance to be more conscious in the moment about how you are handling the tension in your body. You said it yourself... After a few approaches, your nervous system calms down. But anxiety and fear responses are habitual and ingrained patterns in your nervous system. Self-esteem is simply wired patterns in your nervous systems that are habitual and automatic. Think of becoming confident and building self-esteem as something that is very much the same as trying to build an exercise or meditation routine in a sense. Both are rewiring neural pathways in your nervous system that result in the embodiment and automation of that very thing. It may help to study some neuroscience to form a more intuitive sense of this. But look, you are trying to make a deep identity shift in an area you are facing some serious resistance. In order to change that, you need to take action on a daily basis, otherwise your nervous system will not have enough input and experience to really start adapting. It is difficult enough to install basic habits. Habits that require you to face enormous resistance is even more difficult. For example, when you would want to start eating healthy, would it be more effective to do it every single day? Or would you eat healthy for just 4 hours a day for 3 days a week. The most effective is that you let go completely of your old identity and fully decide on what you want. Being consistent each single day. To build the habit of becoming confident, you need to overcome emotional resistance, which makes it a very hard habit to commit to. But in the end, this resistance is all self-created and when you become conscious of that, which will happen bit by bit when you become consistent, you will let go of some of the resistance each time. These negative feelings and thoughts that you experience are very normal when you get out of apathy and start taking action. They are a signal that you are expanding. But of course, if you are reactive towards them, and not identified as the observer, then you will have a hard time. You want to build the ability to ground your feelings into the earth, you want to let go of tension in real time and open your energetic pathways such as the heart, legs, stomach, etc. You also want to approach more from a back-centered state of feeling, which gives you more grounding and containment. Which gives you less anxiety, shame and shyness. Try going outside and sitting under a tree, while you observe its own energy and try to replicate that flow of energy in your own being. You will start to get a feel for what being grounded means. I mean, look at a tree. Its base is strong, has its roots deep under the ground, it is stable as fuck. Which you want to be when you approach. It is like a simple meditation practice that you can do daily before you approach. It gets you in that grounded state of being. What makes approaching women work for building self-esteem is setting small goals each week and committing to them. Ask the time, do simple things until you feel more open and grounded with them, then move on to the next thing which is a bit more difficult. Again, this relaxes your nervous system and builds a sense of self-esteem that compounds over time. You become more grounded, comfortable and courageous as you progress with completing these smaller goals each day. You want to aim for 1% each day. You build a subconscious habit of succes in smaller things first, and then you become bolder each time. Which is automatic. The smaller things will grow bigger and bigger until you are sleeping with beautiful women. And this is a lot more effortless than when you would start approaching women from a very reactive and ungrounded place, frying your nervous system and shutting down for months because you cant handle the tension you bring to it. Your nervous system can only handle x amount of tension. If you are very socially anxious, and you approach a group of 20 people sitting down at a park, you will shit your pants, and even if you have done it, you will feel some relief, but your nervous system remembers the anticipation and you will resist it more the next time. So do things that are uncomfortable, but not too. But challenge yourself. You should feel anxiety and fear. Each time you feel that fear, and step into it, it grows you. Building confidence and self-esteem is like building muscles. And you do it daily. To add: by all means, strive to perfect your life in other areas. Of course it builds confidence and containment. Financial security, life purpose stuff, it is all important in making you an all rounded individual, but do not use it as an excuse to not take action right now because you are in resistance. That is the trick your mind will play on you. You want to feel so liberated, whole and confident that you do not need anything external in order to validate your worthiness. Even if you live in a van, you can get women. What matters is how you are feeling in your body. Which you can modulate now.

What do you mean when you say you want to embody your masculine essence more? People will have different ideas of masculinity, and there is all sorts of relevant contexts in which masculinity can be expressed. I think it is more useful to specify what you want more of. Because masculinity in itself is vague. Maybe there are some specific qualities you would like to grow into? Such as courage for example? Maybe you have some nice guy you want to get rid of? Something different maybe? If you feel like you are lacking masculinity, usually that comes because you have some reactivity in your body in relationship to certain dynamics that exist within yourself. Which results in feeling ungrounded and reactive. To develop masculinity, you want to step into resistance, tension and become grounded in this tension. It can be emotional tension or physical tension. avoiding emotional tension is one of the biggest reasons for why you are not embodying more masculine energy. Masculinity in contrast to femininity is your ability to contain your own emotions, to feel into them and ground them. The feminine domain is the feeling domain, the expression of feeling. While as I said, masculinity is the ability to contain these feelings and be grounded in them, to be non reactive to them and to accept them. For example - Social tension, including fear and shame - Are you reactive or not? Are you grounded and contained? Physical tension - Are you reactive towards physical confrontation? How is your relationship to dominant masculine males? Reactive? inner emotional tension - Are you reactive towards your own emotions? When you look at a tree, the roots and tree trunk are the grounding element, the containment that allows for the existance of these beautiful leaves and colors, which would be analogous to the feminine, while the roots and trunk are the masculine. If you want to be masculine, you want to become like a tree. You want to feel grounded, contained, self-accepted and strong. So you have to observe certain contexts of your life in which you dont feel this way. Contexts where you are contracted and reactive. And then you want to work on them.

Limitation exists in order to be transcended by evolving your consciousness. Those who are ready will change. All thoughts, feelings and experience are temporary. You either tap into the mechanisms of change and free will, or you stay behind. Unfortunately a lot of guys stay behind and will never expand. For those guys that are stuck, but full of hope and desire, it can help to seek out people who will help heal them by being in their presence. Just like a meteorite impact can create powerful change in the composition of physical reality, the presence of someone who evolved their consciousness and aligned themself to the truth they wish to embody, can help them to increase their own consciousness and gain their own strength and intuition. There is always a potential. You just have to find a way to connect to it. Either by yourself or with the help of other people.

It can provide a support structure and some containment. If you are deep into apathy, it can be good to get therapy. It will help you gain some momentum. And if you get therapy, It is also wise to seek out the right groups that embody values that are helpful for growth, not regular talking groups that have low standards for proactive work or even victim groups. You want highly motivated and insightful groups that actually move you forward. No nice coffee and thee groups that talk and talk and talk. This can even make you identify with those thoughts, emotions, vibrations more. In the better groups, it can release tension and bring more acceptance by opening up. So definitely be selective. Also the act of going to a social group in itself will release tension in social anxious people so there is always some benefit. Though, none of that is really needed and it can be a distraction. Actually, therapy is totally insignificant to when you really decide to take responsibility and when you become proactive, each day. Healing your anxiety issues is really straight forward. You need to rewire your nervous system consciously to react differently to the tension/resistance it feels when talking to people, by proactively, each day, talking to people on the street. The reason that the anxiety and fear persists is because you never made it a life goal and purpose to get rid of it. Your decision is not strong enough to set you free. If you would however, each day, approach 5 people with the intention of getting to know them, you would heal all of it after some time. It is not some random approaching that heals you, it is the deep understanding and insight into the mechanisms of feeling, releasing emotions and emotional embodiment what does it. Approaching people needs to be integrated into a holistic integrative embodiment practice where you deeply understand the relationship between you, your internal energy and how external reality mirrors your internal energy. You learn by going out approaching, to change your internal feelings in response to the tension and resistance. And eventually after time, you simply grow. You rewire your nervous system and balance your internal feelings. You become more like a grounded tree. Most people with social anxiety dont get to this stage of growth because they are reactive to their feelings. They fear what they feel, so they dont confront it directly. Therapy can be a trap in this sense because it is also indirect and partially avoidance. The path to healing is the direct path and it is the path of surrender. Surrender to what you are feeling and surrendering to what you want to feel and directly going for that. Do you think that after you have approached 1 000 000 people, you will have any anxiety left in your system? You would stop caring, you would become masterful and free. Along the way, you would start experiencing more joy and freedom than you ever experienced and your creativity and inspiration in all parts of your life mirror this expansive feeling of freedom. The only thing that is between you and that freedom, is you. Do you really need therapy? Would you waste years with therapy, while approaching 5 people each day, applying the right growth and embodiment principles can set you free forever? The difference between having approached 1 000 000 people and approaching 5 people a day for a year is very very small. it does not take long. You can be there in a year. It is all about consistent action and building on yourself 1% each day. No days skipped. Socially anxious people need to make a decision, and stop being reactive. Therapy is redundant. Liberation is around the corner. Make it your life goal, your mission, to step in resistance, to step into what you fear. And do this consistently each day. This is what grows you and makes all of it work. Don't try to get rid of social anxiety. Just do it and decide that you will take action.

I was once sitting under a tree on LSD and I was vibrating as one with its energy and could feel it's supporting and healing qualities as it was grounding and harmonizing my own energy. It has a very stable frequency and connects well to your root chakras. I then traced the tree back into the ground where its roots were, and then had an insight that has stayed with me until now and that's that just like trees have its roots, we do too and it is the whole earth below our feet. Its function is to support us and ground us out. But you have to unlock that energy so to speak, most are too contracted and elevated with their energy instead of letting it go into earth. You have to build that connection with the earth more in order to let it function as an energy absorber. If you have that flow of energy, naturally you feel less resistance and fear when relating with physical reality as you are supported and contained by the earth beneath you. Literally visualize the whole earth beneath you as you feel into its power and stability.

Choose work that resonates with you on a deeper feeling level. It is highly personal. Not 2 types of people are the same, nor are 2 people with ADHD the same. So it is individual for everyone. But in general, ADHD or no ADHD, you want to find something that gives you enjoyment and heightened connection to the present moment. You can even choose a job from a more goal orientated mindset, as long as you value it deeply. If you got those things right, you will most likely do well and even excel at that thing. in ADHD, where parts of your brain are underproducing certain neurochemicals, you want to put yourself in a psychological environment where the environment serves as a support structure for your brain. The right internal and external environment will create self-reliance where focus exists more easily. And you create that internal and external environment through choosing the right things for you.

Yeah sure, you can pm me if you want. I can link you some good things to start with but I need to know what exactly it is that you want and feel like you are lacking right now. watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySp0B4pGDj4

I think tripping is analogous to skydiving in the sense that you get to see yourself from a higher vantage point. The unconscious becomes conscious. But as with skydiving, you come back down to earth and you lose the detailed vision of the sky after some weeks. As with a psychedelic experience, it makes you highly conscious for the duration of the trip, insights just come naturally and everything makes sense. But people often delude themself that they can be fixed with just one trip. I thought so too in the beginning. But you come back down. Your ego structure reforms. Your energy signature restores to homeostases for the most part. You might have released some feelings during the trip. But it is usually very insignificant and temporary. The real trip happens after the trip, where you take all of those insights and actually decide on applying them without letting your mind and emotions take control again. You can change everything if you can be conscious and stop letting yourself be on autopilot. You have such a capacity to change all of it. For me the real change happened after the trip where I started my releasing journey. I have done a lot of different stuff and it is all just so nuanced. Too much to get into it here. It is like you described earlier. When you look in the mirror and you are looking for things to love about yourself, you are not thinking, you are feeling. You are introducing the vibration of love into your system. Love is one of the most powerful ways to release emotions. The more you feel it, the more you will be it. If you look in the mirror for a year and consciously try to feel love for yourself each time instead of generating more negative emotions, then that love will overpower and doubt will go away. It is law of polarity. Then you can use that love vibration to fix all of your other self esteem issues. Love and acceptance are powerful vibrations that we can access by tapping into consciousness. We are all part of the same consciousness. If other people are tapped into the vibration of love, peace, courage, we can do it as well by understanding the law of oneness. We can tap into the vibration and attune ourself to it understanding that we are all part of the same field. People hear 'love and acceptance' but see it as empty words without meaning, or some cliche advice that goes something along the following lines 'Just accept yourself, Just love yourself' but there is some profound depth to be found when you explore the true meaning of those words in terms of the quality of the feelings. By experimenting with letting energy flow through your heart chakra for example. Doing this consistently leads to permanent releases and permanent embodiment of love in whatever context you which to embody it in. Exploring your energy channels is essential.

I always thought I was ugly when I was younger. I was even obsessed with it and took 10000s of pictures over the years to affirm I wasn't. Some sort of OCD. It was only on psychedelics that when I looked at myself in the mirror that I saw that it had nothing to do with my appearance. Only about how I felt about myself deep down. As I released feelings of shame and fear, gradually I released all the shame about my appearance and started to genuinely feel good about my looks. Insecurity about appearance is just projected shame. We always look outside for things that are the reason for why we are flawed while in actuality, it is just your embodied feelings that is driving all the stories, images, emotions.

If you could choose a certain type of work/job/business, and you were not limited by anything, what would you choose?

Look you do not need any product. All the things on chakras, releasing, healing, emotional scale, approaching, relaxing, feeling, letting go, 1% rule, self esteem, manifestation of goals, all of those things you can learn from the fearless man youtube channel. Watch all of their videos and you will not have any questions anymore. Watch his hour long livestreams that have been posted on his youtube channel. It is all about releasing and changing who you are at a core level. It is the most hollistic stuff I found yet and only that stuff has had a real impact. Trust me. All the teachings from david hawkins, lester levenson, 1% rule, chakras, embodiment stuff have been synthesized into what Brian from the fearless man is teaching. If you can accept this resource as the most valuable you have ever received and take it 100% serious, oh man, I am happy for you. If you are just reading over it and putting the resource on the bottom of your list together with all the other resources you have gathered, that would be unfortunate. Isn't that the problem then? You are in apathy. That is an emotion that translates into the belief 'I can't'. Recognizing as such can help you move forward because it is just an emotion or thought like any other. You are underestimating your own capacity and power by not taking distance from your contracted identity. You are always going to think and behave in accordance to what you are feeling and resisting to feel. If you can let go and release the aversion of your own feelings, you will move forward. And then relaxation happens after you have let go of resisting to feel negative. Let go of not wanting to feel your negative feelings, to not wanting to feel your shame and fear and spill your love on all of the stuff when you finally come out of hiding. I can talk hours on releasing and growing but in the end, this forum isnt the correct medium to transfer it to you. Go to the fearless man youtube channel and make it a habit to daily watch that content. Do not watch content here and there from all different people. Watch one hollistic guy who resonates on a very deep level and go all out with his teachings. And dont back down when you dont understand it at first. Strive to deeply grasp that stuff and you will gain consciousness and strength to heal yourself. It will happen on its own. It is as simple as changing your underwear. Speaking about underwear, have you done the exercise I asked you to try in the long post? Going outside in your underwear, feeling the resistance and then releasing by relaxing. We can talk days and years about releasing but that little exercise can give you more understanding than reading 100 books about releasing. Yes. It is putting the emotional scale to practice instead of it just being a scale on a computer screen.

Meditate and release aversion to tension based activities. That is going to let you achieve flow state easier with whatever you are doing. I can study for hours and hours nowadays and time just flies. All because meditation offers you a way to be at ease with the present moment in whatever form it presents itself. It can be sitting still, studying, reading, doing daily chores. You just flow with all of it because you have released your aversion to it through meditation. It is mostly thoughts and feelings that are causing the resistance. You can release those and be at peace. Do daily meditation in the morning and evening for an hour or so. Also most importantly, choose goals that resonate with you on a deeper feeling level. If you are choosing goals from the mind, be careful. Feel what you desire in your emotional centers and go for the most direct path to achieving that. And if you have done the goal setting right and are still experiencing resistance to the process to the point you feel like you can not do it anymore, then you have to seriously reconsider if it is an authentic goal... And if you are really sure it is, then you have to accept that tension is a part of the process. Some things will give you resistance. Your stories will come to the surface for why you can not do things anymore. You can choose not to be reactive to it. Choosing. That is key. Contemplate on your goal and decide if it is worth it. Then follow through and do not let your mind distract you. Tension brings resistance. And resistance makes you reactive and lets you quit. Be conscious of that. Changing your subconscious happens just like that. Through being conscious in the now and making choices based on what your highest desire is, independently on what you are feeling and thinking now. And besides that, do all the basic stuff like exercising, healthy diet, visualization, walks in nature, movement stuff, socialization etc. All of that will also merge you more and more with the present moment.

Identity shift will happen naturally in the unfolding of the process. But you can not wait for it in order to change. Change happens now, where you take conscious control of your mind to do something different than you have done yesterday. Powerlessness is basically avoidance of tension in any form. Emotional or physical. Where are you avoiding in your life? Step into that tension. Go through it. The masculine domain grows through facing tension. It offers you challenge. You either turn your back to it or step into it. firemen, policeman, navy seals, business guys like Elon musk, Richard Branson, all of these examples are people who have walked paths where they felt resistance and challenge, but did not back down. They used those to get to where they are now by being proactive with their limitations. Feel where you avoid tension in your life, step right into it and the next time it will be easier. You systematically release negative emotions to the level of tension you avoid, and simultaneously embody feelings of courage and acceptance in those contexts of tension. For example: You are afraid of physical confrontation. So you avoid people, places where likelihood of experiencing this type of tension is high. Solution: You gain the courage to join a martial arts gym, you train and eventually you will release your negative emotions related to physical confrontation. And you do this with all the things you avoid until you have no resistance to anything anymore. You become a free flowing being who is free to act in any way he wants. Full expressive and expansive. Core identity change happens after the process. In the unfolding of it. Then the desired behaviors, thoughts, feelings are a natural part of that changed identity that you build. Just like when you build a house, the relaxation and enjoyment of feeling at home comes after the hard work of building your house and not before.

Absolutely. This is important and will unlock the fretboard for you to use in any way you want. Get the course from Justinguitar. It is called 'Practical, fast and fun music theory'. And the one from paul davids if you want. It is more expensive though, but the value is amazing. And this website https://www.guitarlessonworld.com/lessons/ is also great for consolidating the things you learned from Justin guitars and paul davids courses. These 3 are pretty much all you need to get to a high level of playing. Do not learn from random youtube videos at first. Follow a structured course like above and study it deeply until your brain has absorbed the material and made it its own. They will also teach you how to apply all of it, make music, and have fun. But accept that the first weeks/months depending on how much you practice will be a lot more intellectual.

What is your goal? You want to be able to improvise fluently or just learn some songs? it all depends on what you want. If you really want to get to know the guitar and get to the point you can use it in any way you want and express yourself without limitations, the path will be very different then if you only want to learn songs. Check out Paul davids courses as well as justinguitar's courses. Both really great. Music theory is essential imo. Learn the notes on the fretboard. You want to be able to instantly identify all notes on the fretboard without thinking. Learn the major scale, triads, chords in key, scale patterns, pentatonic minor and major scale, and learn CAGED. If you know caged, you can basically play any chord and any scale from those shapes. Really powerful. And experiment with all of it through practice. Make your brain work hard. All of it becomes muscle memory over time until you play intuitively without thinking. Music theory will offer you guidance and deeper understanding. Practice will connect that to making music.

You are attracting all of it. You are fully responsible for everything that comes into your life. All of it. everything is you. You are doing aaaaalll of it.... Your being has collected and embodied certain feelings of shame and fear in your life that is keeping you contracted within the state of consciousness you are in. It is attracting all the same things. Do you want to keep living in this pattern? See you can get to the point you are free permanently. Where you just are one with yourself and other people. You can start to feel powerful and alive, expanded. But as long as you don't take responsibility, you will never get there. You know deep down that if you approach daily and consistently, you will release those emotions. I know it has a certain quality of feeling small and weak, but that is okay. Be vulnerable and love yourself through opening your heart in each interaction and after each interaction. Focus on the process and not the individual pieces. Be conscious of your body and how you are becoming more open and welcoming of your emotions instead of being reactive to them. Generate a proactive relationship to tension. Tension is vulnerability. If you are scared to be vulnerable, you will not grow. Literally go up to people, feel yourself become reactive and then ground the tension and reactivity into the earth through your body. What makes cold approach work is something that happens under the surface, energetically. You are rewiring your nervous system to react differently. It requires effort and consciousness. You can transform any lower emotion into acceptance through more consciousness. Frustration and doubt are just there because you are not conscious enough. Get out of your mind and take action. Then the body is the gateway to surrender. I have an exercise for you: can you walk outside in your neighbourhood in your underwear right now and become fully conscious that you are controlling every and each thought, feeling and experience in your life? If you have that understanding, you can have the power to approach 10000s of girls and knowing that you can handle it and grow every interaction because you understand the mechanisms of consciousness that either move you forward into acceptance or get you down into contraction. Acceptance naturally is the vibration that attracts. Intention (i want to get good with women) + discipline (I approach every day 5 girls) + acceptance feeling (unattached, learning, positive, embodying, letting go, flow) = succes with women and social skills

There can be so many causes and so many different contexts. I second what @flowboy says. I was diagnosed with ADHD and most of my symptoms went away or significantly diminished after I started to act from the heart. The heart is a lot more authentically connected to the present moment and it is the center where we experience feelings of joy and love in relationship to experience. When you experience a lack of certain feelings now, your will be in a wanting vibration that influences the mind in the sense that you will constantly project yourself into the future through thinking, visions, images etc. And that of course can construct these goals that come from a vibration of fear, shame and other lower contractive emotions. Those goals are there purely for fulfilling the desire for certain feelings or state that would come after achieving succes. But then of course it is so difficult to achieve succes in that area which you are focussing on because you feel no heart connection to that stuff. And that is why most likely you can not focus. Because you doing things you are not, which is not pleasant, but still have the pull towards it because it will fulfill you in a way. It generates tension in your mind and will create this lack of focus. An example could be that you have low self esteem and maybe low financial resources. That emptiness creates wanting. And that wanting goes into the mind creating a vision through which you would be able to fulfill those needs. Becoming a doctor maybe. That would surely give you social status which would increase self esteem and money. But then in pursuit of the goal, you can not focus because there is no heart connection to that. It is not what you authentically want. You do not want to become a doctor, you want to embody certain feelings. So hence you do not enjoy studying 1000 page medical books. It is an inner conflict. This thinking applies to when you can not focus on a goal that comes from lack. fear, shame, guilt all create resistance to the present moment that manifests in different forms like above example. There is many more hiding places. Dr gabor mate talks a lot about these things. Trauma generates ADHD because you become dissociated from the present moment through the influences of those experiences. If you see a pattern of this behavior, it can help to analyse your life from a big picture overview, where you can start to see the interconnectedness of all the individual pieces of you. You have to answer the following questions for yourself when experiencing focus issues and see if it gives you intuition about your situation: Is this something I enjoy doing? Why am I doing it then? If it is lack of experience and feeling, (this can be anything, like joy, love, passion, power, money), you have to understand that your lack of focus is normal through the lack of connection to that which you are doing. It is escape, and this happens through the mind. - You can also experience focus issues with things that you are interested in and that come from the heart connection to that thing. But then, that something can have various aspects of engagement to it. Like playing guitar. Maybe you enjoy playing guitar. It can give you a feeling of freedom and expression which come from the heart. You feel the joy through your body when playing. But when learning guitar, you also have to study some theory which is very intellectual and cognitively demanding. If you are more a right brain kind of guy, you enjoy less absorbing the individual pieces of information because it engages different parts of yourself which can be experienced as less enjoyable. And then of course you will naturally be less one with that. It is like back when you were in school, you had these sports lessons once in the week. Every week there is a different kind of activity. Some activities turn you on, like soccer. Others like basketball you were rather in math class and you end up talking to your classmate the whole game. But you have a positive attitude and connection to the whole of the sport lessons, and that includes the parts you like less. And less engagement is natural in those things you don't enjoy as much. The key is seeing the frustration, tension and neediness that exist when you cant focus. If it is there, it is because of those emotions. - No matter the context of your focus issue, meditation is always something that is non negotiable. It is something you have to implement and take serious because it can get you to a point where you feel whole and peaceful in the present moment no matter what you are doing. This will make focus a lot easier as the emotional resistance removes. - The solution in most cases is clearly that you have to do right goal setting. Choose things you connect with on a feeling level. Then if,you have to do things you enjoy less doing the thing, you have to accept. The frequency of acceptance is very powerful. See, if you have done right goal setting, you have chosen a goal which has a strong authentic pull, and when going about your day, working towards it, you face more difficult aspects of the goal, you have to walk through it and accept that it is less natural for you. Like reading for example. You just do it. After doing it enough, you enforce your brains neural pathways to be in acceptance in relationship to tension, to push through difficult things. If the goal setting was right and you are reading a book related to the goal that feels difficult, then you see that as a beautiful opportunity to work on weaker parts of yourself. And that shift in perspective from frustration to acceptance happens naturally when choosing right goals and being emotionally free from future and past. Feeling love and acceptance in yourself will make you flow with whatever you choose to flow with. - And something which you have to do as well is to build your physical infrastructure to set you up for succes and happiness. Like right diet, eliminating chemicals, detoxing and all that stuff. If you have clarity in your inner world, and you still have trouble with focus, this is what you should try fixing as well. But dont wait for clarity, health is something you can choose now.