JonasVE12

If you love/like her and you want a relationship with her, let her fuck other men. Be a man about it. I understand the pride in all of this, but you will grow out of that if you learn to sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come from this allowance. It will bring some stuff out in yourself that you can take a look at and possibly grow from. Although it feels uncomfortable in the moment, you'll be happy that you did it. I just don't condone the energy of suppressing a free feminine spirit. That's just not right. Appreciate her soul and let her be free. If you can do that, women will appreciate you for that.

Arma 3 I've got so many vivid memories from that game.

Only be with her if you can fully love and accept her as she is, without needing her to change. She is young, she has this innocent curiosity still inside her, and longing to explore it. Don't you dare taking that away from her. Find yourself a girl who is ready for you. Don't force her. If you are going to force her, she is gonna leave you anyway.

You are welcome. I've been sitting her for a few minutes thinking about what to respond in order for you to really get something out of it. I'm just going to say that you can always PM me and I would be happy to have an in depth conversations with you about this topic. I have some valuable resources as well that I can share with you.

It's not the psychedelics that give you the mindfuck. It's your mind which is chaotic and confused about life. Psychedelics amplify that.

Depends on what you are struggling with. I've built my understanding of releasing through years of research, experimentation, immersion into workshops, events and social interactions. So a lot of it is intuitive to me. And most content is either presented in a way that it is very abstract, partial and also not tailored to your specific issues. Or it is very specific to a single issue. So depending on what you are dealing with, I can give more specific recommendations.

I think it's important that you see what connects you to the other person. How much feeling are you bringing to peoples life? You have to be able to understand and clearly see what the context of their life is, their values, their thoughts, feelings, their life direction and then see if you are in any way connected to those things. It's about knowing a person deeply, and then seeing how you add value to their life. There is so many different values a relationship can be built on. People crave novelty, excitement, adventure, and the whole range of emotions really. If you are only letting them associate one type of emotion with you, the relationship gets old very quickly. I let friends go very quickly nowadays, I don't believe effort should be what brings the relationship forward. The more I'm being able to let go, the more energy I got to form deeper and richer connections. But it's also about becoming someone who is interesting, someone who has a lot of depth and authenticity to him. Someone who knows how to bring people together, how to create feeling, etc. And it is especially important to be someone who is confident socially, knows how to entertain people. If you have this sense of curiosity and expansion in your life, you will always connect to new people, and there will be this emotional pull to those people if there is something worth being pulled towards. There will be no force or pushing. It just happens. The same for them. And there is no expectation. You can let go because you are always expanding. What happens if you stop initiating? Would you still have a lot of friends left, or is there loneliness? It could be that you are not interesting enough for those people, not creating enough value, and on the other side, trying to hold on to what you have because you don't want to feel lonely. Maybe stop trying to expand your existing relationships, but strive to become someone who constantly creates new relationships and who is interesting that he invites people into his life, generating curiosity to those who he meets. Really deep friendships are formed with the people that have something in common with you. And your future ideals connect to that of each other.

Have you ever heard of the saying 'the eyes are the gateway to the soul'? We feel a lot of emotions through the other persons eyes. It's very instinctive. If you're going up to a woman and you introduce yourself to her, you have to realize she doesn't know you. Women put their walls up automatically when you approach them, and it's through your emotions and energy that you show her that she can trust you and feel safe in your presence. And think about it, when you talk to someone, where do you look? Not their shoes. Their eyes! Because we feel the other person through them. All the subtle micro-expressions around the eyes are picked up subconsciously when you talk to someone and your body instinctively assesses those micro-expressions in order to see what's up. If you're wearing glasses while going up to her, you are already making it more difficult for her to feel you. BUT, if however, you are already very emotionally embodied, you feel grounded, open-hearted, and you know how to create that safe-space very quickly, the glasses won't make the difference. Sub-communication is a lot more than just eyes. She feels your emotions through your voice, how you stand and move, etc. If you are a beginner and you are still in your head a lot, I wouldn't wear sunglasses. Personally, I find it super annoying to talk to someone who wears sunglasses. When I'm in the middle of telling her a story, I usually get confused and lost in the story because I'm being distracted by the reflection of my own face. It's as if there is a wall between you and her.

Nice man! I really resonate with that. Enjoying her and taking her in is what it should be about and it's great that you have had that experience.

Can you welcome even that? Can you welcome al of that overthinking and just sit with it? Without doing anything about it? Just observing? That's key. This process is about learning to be happy right now, relaxing into the present moment and welcoming whatever is in your experience, no judgement, just pure being and acceptance. It is the resistance to your overthinking that is keeping you overthink. There is this distinct vibration of acceptance and peace within your body that will eventually overpower the overthinking and let you sink into your body, where you can begin to expand on the sensations, but you have to tap into that gradually. Even when you feel sensations and emotions, there probably is attachment to them. Not wanting them to go away. Forcing them to stay. There probably is also a big push to feel 'I want to feel my sensations, I really need to'. You need to strip down all of those energies until there is just being. It's through small percentages that you grow. So welcome every small percent that you feel more acceptance, EVEN if your goal isn't fully achieved. Regard every succes as an accomplishment, even the small ones. Being able to sit with your overthinking analyzing mind and being able to laugh at it, being happy either way, that's what you need. Because eventually, that acceptance will quieten your mind and create these moments of stillness where you can begin to go deeper into feeling, and it will begin to expand. I see a lot of doing in your writing, and although it is just a form of communication, I sense the energy behind it, the pushing, and that's why you keep being in the spins. Let the world and feeling come to you, don't try, just be and let whatever happen, happen. And let go of the goal to feel. Release your need to feel. It's keeping feeling away. Whenever you sit down to feel, or you try to meditate, and you start to feel frustration and resistance coming up. Have you ever tried sitting with that resistance for a couple more hours? It will intensify first. But if you persist through that, you will notice you sinking deeper into feeling and relaxation. For some people, a vipassana retreat is hell. For other people, it's blissful and no effort at all. Your ability to do 10 day vipassana retreat says everything. Completely, yes. Let the thoughts go crazy. Be the observer of your body, feel the energy of your present experience. Feel the confusion in your body, don't focus on the thoughts inside confusion, notice the sensations, the feelings. Play with them. Dance with them and love them. Just like you can put your awareness on the feeling in your hand, or your feet, you can put your awareness on your internal somatic field and play with the energy inside that field. Like breathing out, breathing in, can you notice any relaxation? Not trying to relax, just breathing in and breathing out and noticing how your body feels when you do so. Or putting an imaginary straw inside your heart, letting all the tension come out as fluid? It's like approach anxiety when approaching women, when you feel anxious, we try to avoid and resist it, while when you put your attention inside that feeling, you feel it fully, and you accept it being there in your body, it will go away. You can learn to love that feeling and don't judge it. It's the attachment to that feeling which let it persist. Maybe you can't fully let it go in 1 hour. Maybe it takes a couple days or weeks to stay with the feeling of approach anxiety, but when you sit with it, with enough presence, eventually you will be able to let it go. My biggest tip would be to welcome that this process takes time to understand and master. You grow small amounts. Change happens after having trust and consistency in this process. You will feel more and more as you do this.

Releases happen on it's own. You don't need to take any drugs or any external thing in order to release. Of course containment can help, but you can release now. Ultimately these containers are there to get you to an internal place you already have access to now. So why don't you now? Releasing is very simple. Your mind will might make it seem complicated. Maybe it feels like you are broken. Learning how to release emotions is a process of learning how to feel, and then reveal what's inside through depth of feeling, and to be with your feelings with full presence and acceptance when you reveal them. It is a process of doing less. So whenever you want to do something to release, that's already a sign you are not present. There should be a daily intention, daily practice, but other than the thinking that you're going to do the practice, you should turn off your mind completely and sit with the body. Sometimes you have to sit with the body for days, weeks or even months in order for something to come out. Releasing an emotion happens when you sit long enough with your own body that it reveals on its own. And then being with the feeling fully without making it wrong, analyzing it, etc. whenever you notice an energy inside yourself that feels like you are forcing, trying, doing, wanting, having, manipulating, etc, you let go of that. You welcome it and then it lets go automatically. It's like meditation. When you notice thoughts coming up and you have this energy of frustration and should's, making the thoughts wrong, you will notice that your meditation won't be effective. It's learning to embrace those thoughts with a loving energy that makes you one with them. The same is with releasing. When you sit with your body and you have all this chaos and uncertainty, maybe thinking this doesn't work, 'I need psychedelics or ketamine', notice that and welcome it. Welcoming resistance to releasing itself is what most people have to go through in order to reveal what's underneath. Because you can never create depth of feeling if you are in your mind constantly fighting. And a thought on using psychedelics and ketamine for releasing. I have used both and then didn't help me feel my emotions at all. Ketamine is dissociative, so that's exactly the opposite what you need. And if you can't reveal/release effectively without any substance, you won't have any significant releases on psychedelics either. You can experience love and courage on them, but that's not releasing your lower emotions. It's just dissociating from them. I was in full bliss states on MDMA with people while internally, while sober, I would be anxious and shameful. And after the MDMA wore of, all those emotions were still there, although I was completely blissed out and confident on mdma. You can never release what you don't feel. So it's all about learning how to feel what's going on now and digging deeper into your experience, without forcing to. Sometimes you have to let your mind fight for a month straight and just be the observer, full acceptance of what's going on, and naturally, you will sink into your body more and more, and reveal what's going on underneath. Whenever you are in avoidance, you will never feel. Even this topic is avoidance. The thought 'I need psychedelics' or 'I need ketamine' is avoidance. Let go of everything, of doing, of thinking and your body will reveal what needs to be revealed. Literally go sit on a bench for a couple months for the whole day and see what happens. The reason most people don't feel is because society has made their analytical mind very dense, and thus it becomes harder to feel the body. Even the desire to feel the body will be explored through the analytical mind. How much are you trying to understand this? How much do you want to figure it out? Can you even let go of that and just sit with the feelings, or let the intention of letting go uncover the feelings? Your sadness is just waiting to be revealed when you sit with yourself long enough, and you give yourself a chance to sink into your body. It's like when you are holding a ball and squeeze it very hard and then learning to relax your hand so the ball can start to expand. The same is with learning to feel.

This sounds very heavy. If you look at it like this, then you can see everything as a need. Living is the need of god to express life. Moving your hands to write your comment is your need to tell. The action of eating is the need to sustain your life. The more you focus on the heaviness of something, the more you see it in that same light. If you however focus on what's beyond constructs, thinking and conceptualizing, you see beauty, feeling and flow. Life shouldn't be so serious. Marriage can be experienced and told about in all kinds of ways. If you want to find deeper meaning of love, it can be useful to not think about everything as fulfilling 'needs'. This is all from the mind, but it misses holism and feeling.

The only thing I would marry for is to let my lover feel she is the one. Women typically have this ideal of marriage from a young age, and if you are a man worth marrying, and the relationship is founded on love and freedom, then it will bring you even closer together. It's not about fulfilling needs. Your needs should be internally fulfilled. Marriage should be the icing on the cake. To really make your lover feel special. Most women I know have the desire to get married, but have kind of given up on the dream. But there still is this fantasy and curiosity of marrying to the man of their dreams, even if it is buried under all that seriousness. There are just not a lot of man out there that are worth marrying and staying long term with. A woman wants to be seen in a way much deeper than what most men are looking at. The same with a guy. It's that understanding of the deeper spirit of man and women that makes a marriage worth it. If I meet a woman and I feel between us that energy of true passion, something that unites us that is greater than ourselves. A future. Then I will fulfill that dream of hers to marry and make that day special for her, to show her my appreciation. If I really love a woman, I want to allow her to fulfill that deeper fantasy of hers. You just want to make her feel special and appreciated all the time, not in a needy way, but genuinely, that comes from a place of power and intent. The mistake is when man and women don't understand themselves and the world around them. You can't control what you don't understand. If people would focus on internal first, and then external, there wouldn't be so much confusion. If I want kids at a given point in my life, then I will know. Something deeper calls for it then. A feeling. And then if everything in my life is how it should be, sure.

Letting go of reactive energy inside your body is what will make you more grounded. So seek to become reactive, and then ground through letting go of tension in all the muscles and organs between your naval and feet. Relax each muscle inside the tension and when doing this consistently, you will gradually become more grounded. Grounding is something you have to consciously do inside the situations that make you feel ungrounded. The same with the throat. Feel when it contracts, and even seek to get into situations that make your throat contracted, and now relax the muscles, welcome the contraction and break it open as if you are tearing open a box. You can use your voice for that. You need to get used to expressing from your throat until it relaxes. You need grounding for that as well because it will feel vulnerable. If you are ungrounded, you will most likely become reactive to the vulnerability. You also need to relax your forehead especially during this process, because if you are tense there, you will think too much, and then it won't work. It's a feeling process. Kriya yoga has a lot of similarities. It is all about depth of feeling and controlling the energy inside your body. And that's what you need. Become good at feeling and you'll naturally understand how to open your chakras. Drop your analytical mind, and just sit down for a few hours with no distraction and try to figure it out yourself. You'll probably get a lot more out of that. Prayer is all about depth of feeling. Thoughts play almost no role. It's all about energy and feeling. Can you sit down and create tingles inside your balls? Or a sense of love inside your heart? Not thinking about it, but letting the feeling come to you. Prayer is the same, you channel different kinds of energies inside your body until you embody them. You don't need to learn how to do prayer. Your body knows how to do it when you drop into your body, into feeling, and shut off the analytical mind. Society has made our conscious analytical mind very dense, and it is difficult to just cut through all that thinking and just feel intuitively what it is about. We're not used to feeling anymore. Let go of the need to understand, breath and go into the breath because it can take you very deep. Prayer can be a way to channel alignment to your personal goals, or a way to merge with the loving universe. The more time you spend feeling, the easier it becomes. If you do it one hour and for the rest of the day, you think heavily, your progress will be slower. In the beginning, your mind and body will probably be chaotic during the process because you are vibration between wanting-trying-needing-confusion-apathy. The more acceptance you find in the body, the deeper you begin to go. As if you are entering a trance. Your thinking mind will prevent you to go in that trance deeply, just like when you are meditating and you keep getting bothered at the level of the mind. Frustration, wanting, needing, shoulds are common. We tend to push the thoughts away, and so it doesn't work. For learning prayer, feeling and energy consciousness, it can be very effective to practice do-nothing meditation daily for an hour. You need to learn how to still the mind so you can go deeper into feeling. That meditation is just perfect for that.

I’ve just felt this surge of energy to share this practice. Someone recently asked on here what self-confidence is. This practice is what helped me developing true self-esteem, removing all my shame and fears around being me in front of other people. This is especially life changing for people who feel like they are an isolated bubble when they are moving in the outside world. For people who want to feel completely free talking to anyone at anytime, singing, dancing, flirting and especially people who want to feel confident in feeling their own emotions fully and the emotions of other people, and to create their own experiences and feelings. I see lots of people getting good insights about awakening. They understand oneness inside their mind. Yet, when they go outside, they are still operating as an individual contracted bubble that experiences separation from their external environment, hiding from other people and from him or herself. Vulnerability walks and heart centered meditations are there to break down your energetic boundaries that separate you from the external environment. They are there to set you free emotionally, to expand your ability to create experiences and to start to move into the direction you wish to move into. It all starts with answering the question ‘How do I really feel when I step outside my house’? How much does the freedom we have at home contract, how much smaller do you become? To create contrast, first think about this. If you stand in front of the mirror, how free do you feel? Sometimes we even feel ashamed of being ourself in front of ourself. When you stand there in front of the mirror, go ahead and be crazy. Flirt with yourself, smile at yourself, tease yourself. You know these improv acting classes? Do that with yourself in front of the mirror. How much range do you have? How many characters can you play? Can you even act like you are the opposite sex? A pirate? A baby? And now taking this to what this is really about. When you step outside, how much does this freedom go away? How much smaller do we become? Doing vulnerability walks is about going outside, walking around the city, and taking things in through your body, feeling the tension of people, objects, sounds, smells, feelings, energy and learning to become really vulnerable to all of it, taking it in through your body, learning to channel it down into the earth and becoming non-reactive to the vulnerability that comes up when stepping into tension. It's done completely out of your mind. When you're thinking in tension, you are avoiding vulnerability. Tension is everywhere. Walk up to a street that has cars passing by at a high speed. How do you feel thinking about running across the street while you know you can be hit at any time? That’s external reality pushing you into rigidity, into your bubble, in order to keep you safe. This is not negative, but this dynamic exists with so many other energies from the environment that we shut ourself off to in order to feel safe. We have so much conditioned shame and fear inside our body that separates us from everything around us. Especially people. We try to hide ourself from other people constantly. Can you walk down the street, completely open and expanded, taking everyone that comes your way right into your body, letting them touch your heart, your stomach, your sexual organs even if it is someone you find sexually attractive? How much of the energy is being blocked by your contractions you have within your body? Look all those people in the eye, for as long as you can. Stare, smile, wink, say hello, become as expansive as you can and create a conduit with these people, merge with them and feel them through this conduit. Feel all the vulnerability within this space, and now GROUND your own reactivity from your body into the earth. This works best without shoes. But of course with shoes as well. But to learn to get more intuitive understanding of grounding, no shoes works best. Or try both and notice contrast. All your projected stories will come up when you look into the eyes of other people. You will feel through their eyes how you feel about yourself. Can you go up to groups of people and just be in your body, staring at them, not even saying anything? Just being yourself and letting the group into your body and then into the earth. Or do you tense up, contract and feel separation? How would you feel stepping outside through the city completely naked? Society has conditioned us to feel shame, fear and guilt when we would do so. You can go to jail as well. Or some guy could stab you because he thinks you are offensive. Try it. Take your shirt off in public and notice how your body contracts. Take your pants off until you are standing in the midst of 100 people, looking at you, while you are standing there completely stripped down into your underwear while getting judged. Those people who have had awakenings. How non-dual do you feel? Awakening is much more than just knowing and understanding through the mind. It’s embodying your infinite nature and becoming one with the energetic world, eliminating all of your aversions in your body to whatever is the moment. You start at low amounts of tension, low vulnerability, and work to higher amounts of vulnerability until you feel like you are so free in your body and expression, that you have no shame and fear to be who you want to be, to approach who you want to, to steer the energy in the environment in the way you want. Imagine you are so free in public transport, you play a song on your phone and you can get everyone singing along. If you work towards high amounts of tension and high vulnerability and can let go of reactivity in that tension, you will feel very powerful in creating the reality you want. First you do this practice consciously. You specifically go out every day for some hours to seek out vulnerability and to merge with it. This practice will let you become really vulnerable. It doesn’t have to be painful. It will be painful the more you resist vulnerability. The more you become one with vulnerability and love it, the more you merge with the universe. Ultimately, everyone around you is you. Why don’t you feel that way in your body? You know you’re doing this right when you start to feel lighter in your body and you’re just flowing. I first tried this practice on psychedelics. I noticed that I always ran home during psychedelic experiences and that I went to my room. In the middle of the trip I finally understood that my path of healing is outside my house, right in the vulnerability that the tension of being in other peoples presence put me in. I went outside at that moment, and stayed outside for the rest of the day while I was still tripping. What happened then was super crazy and completely shattered my self identity and all the things I identified with.

I used to have the same. I was always fascinated by chaos. I remember specifically looking for terrorist attacks and binge watching those videos. Or these natural disasters that happened over the years. It's a feeling of thrill that I've got from those. Especially if it is just out of curiosity and you have no intention of doing those things, then I wouldn't worry. Watch it with full self acceptance and knowing who you are, and then it's no issue.

Initially, you shouldn't really do anything with the feeling other than to feel it. The deeper you reveal how you are actually feeling within your body, the lighter you will feel day by day. I found it very freeing to just lay on my bed, my hands on my heart and bring up all the sadness, cry through it and then it lets go. After a breakup, that's a time to turn inwards instead of instantly thinking 'What should I do with this feeling?' The latter is more an external orientation and while eventually, you can use those feelings as a way to empower you to take action to create a reality more consistent with your ideals, yet first you want to understand the lessons those feelings can give you. Such as finding your peace and happiness inside the pain, seeing that you can handle it, that you don't need anyone to feel amazing. Even laying alone in your bed, with all your pain, you can feel joy and happiness after you revealed all that pain and truly embraced it. You can then start to feel a sense of courage to create what you want. But that has to come from your body and not your mind. And your body will do that naturally if you process the sadness, fear and all the emotions you are carrying now.

You need to learn how to enter flow state during your day. The key to do that is to get out of your head, into your body. Getting into feeling. And to do that, you need to set up your life in a way that you are constantly doing what you love. And if you don't know what you love, you need to work on finding out what that it is. Find the activities you can lose yourself in for hours and set up your life in a way that you are free to do those things. Look at Elon musk, he is constantly in flow. He loves his work. You can see that in his succes. You have to find what turns you on in life. And then you'll naturally enter flow state.

Having emotional freedom equals having self-confidence. Self-esteem and confidence is high when you are up on the scale, upwards from courage. How you get that confidence back is to work on stepping into your uncomfortable emotions and learning to let them go. And thus getting a record of positive experiences that helps transmuting your emotional state permanently.

If spirituality and self-improvement isn't bringing you more joy and entertainment, you're doing it wrong.

I would also reframe the thinking a bit. People can't make you feel hurt. It's always you. Everything that you feel and think is all you. You are revealing what's already there. That's the thing. It's all stuff coming up in your body in response to deeper emotional blockages you have, and to release those, yes, in the moment you allow it, you welcome it fully, you say yes with your body and you open your heart. instead of becoming reactive and pushing it down. You relax your perineum, legs, facial muscles and you let the feelings go through you into the ground as if you were a lightning rot grounding lightning. And you do this until all that intensity is removed from the body and you feel lighter again. You need full presence in your body. That's how you start to release emotions. Usually when people get triggered, they tense up, and hold the energy inside their body, which takes their mind on these spins which you were on. That's basically because you are resisting the sensations, not allowing them to be, and then loving them and letting them go. In those spins, it's all about trying to solve the problem, thinking about it, analyzing, being stuck, it seems hard etc. While in actuality, you just need to go back to the body and process it. Then it removes from your consciousness once you process all the layers. The key to shift permanently into a higher emotional state is to constantly expose yourself to your triggers and then release them through more depth of feeling. You can't expect to change if you just depend on your anger, shame and anxiety coming up when you take food from the delivery guy. Just as someone with extreme shyness needs to have a high amount of social interactions in order for all that shame to come up and then process it. There is always a lot of layers to emotions. Each interaction releases some of it. You need to find out how you can start to feel more of your own emotions. Because ultimately, it's the feelings in our body that direct our life. So you shouldn't only do this feeling thing when you feel hurt, you should integrate it into your life and make it muscle memory. And you should seek to get hurt in all sorts of ways so you can become more powerful in feeling, grounding, welcoming, opening, accepting, becoming courageous, loving etc towards those emotions.

There is no bubble. And you don't create flow state through contracting in your own world. Try to expand your consciousness to include everything, all the noises, the surroundings, the people, the looks, and the feelings. Let it go through you, and don't try to push the world away. Your body should be light, full of energy and letting things go through you, ground into the earth, touch your heart, but never holding on to anything. In a state of expansion you find flow naturally. You just have not learned to take the world in, and haven't learned opening your body fully to all the things surrounding you, especially the things that make you feel heavy. Maybe you are fearful and have some suppressed feelings you are not willing to become vulnerable to, and that's why you want a more bubble like experience, to feel safer and more comfortable. You have to surrender into feelings in your body that is causing the uneasiness, and releasing your aversions towards feeling those sensations. The bubble you are after is probably just the feeling of peacefulness and joy, not being bothered by anything. No loud thoughts, irritations, anxiety... Just being peaceful and joyful. You can create it through your body. By literally breaking your energetic barriers between you and which you identify with, not mentally, but energetically in your body. You always only feel you. Those people are reflecting the uneasiness you have in yourself. The tightness in your body. You need to learn to use the uncomfortable feelings that prevent you to be in a flow. You need to learn to take them in, and go deeper and deeper with every feeling. You just let go, deeper and deeper, every thought, feeling, you use to go deeper into the experience of just being. Play your guitar at home, and when you notice this anxiety and distortion coming up, use it to go deeper, to expand more until you become one with the world and there is no future or past, just the sensations of the present, the sounds of your guitar, the joy in the heart. As well as in public transport, you need to feel in your body where the contraction is. Seek it. Go into it. And learn to expand from the contraction to include it and ultimately let it go. Even the girlfriend/sex thing, see, there is always some things in your body going to be triggered depending on the aversions you have. We all have these unique desires that we want to fulfill and whenever we are feeling an emotional block between the desires and ourself, there is always now and then going to be anxiety and negative thoughts going to rise to the surface. These unfulfilled desires can create aversion towards the present moment as well. Which you notice clearly. If you want your life to be a 100% flow all the time, you need to fulfill these desires, such as having a purpose, financial freedom, social freedom, health, the freedom to date who you want, travel whenever you want, to have the experiences you want. To start creating this, you need to learn to flow with uncomfortable feelings, accept them, and using them as guidance to create order in every single area of life so ultimately you are fully free, happy and confident that you can do what you want, with who you want, whenever you want. It's also very normal to have uneasiness in your life, especially between 20-50 y/o, and most people carry this uneasiness all their life. Then you have these 50-60 year olds which are so relaxed, peaceful and just enjoy the heck out of life because they went on to fulfill their desires earlier so now they experienced what they wanted, and they go on to experience more of life without limitations. You can create these deep flow states at younger ages. Rarely do people get there between 20-30, but you can if you go deep into creating what you want and take full responsibility for it. You know, all those thoughts, the anxiety, that you're trying to push away. Embrace it. Pushing things away doesn't work. Use it as guidance and gain curiosity towards it. Ultimately, it is there because you are not yet grounded into who you are, what you are meant to do here in this life, your personal mission, and your relationship to other people. Those thoughts of girls and sex coming up when you are trying to enjoy the present is just the universe telling you that they are part of the path you need to walk. The universe rarely wants to give you full flow and presence. You have to learn to create it yourself and then the universe will support you and reward you for your effort. Treat all thoughts as guidance that you are not yet where you need to be. The peacefulness of being in public transport, and having full enjoyment comes after you slay your dragons. Maybe you share some smiles here and there, you talk to that cute girl sitting next to you, or you just sit in stillness, fully enjoying the moment. You can even feel this tingly joy in your body and bring it up at will.

Those people are merely mirroring how you feel about yourself. They are triggering you for you. For you to see and release what's underneath. No one is intentionally disrespecting you and you probably recognize this, yet react emotionally as if it is personal. And also, are you not a people pleaser or are you trying not to be a people pleaser? That's a big difference. If you would be grounded in your own self-love and self-validation, you would never take anything personal. Because you love yourself internally. If you see yourself as a weak unlovable person, you will see signs outside yourself and subconsciously look for signs that validate that feeling you have. I had all of these issues as well, and a lot more. To finally release those issues permanently, you need to spend some years of your life immersing yourself in social interactions to trigger all those parts of yourself that you're suppressing. You need to seek out people that trigger stuff in your body. This can be any contractive emotion. Shame, fear, embarrassment, anger, pride, etc. Go into the world and move in a way that it will have you confront those emotions. Whenever you get triggered, you can welcome courage, acceptance and self-love through your body and if you do this consistently, your body is going to release naturally and remember the lighter state of feeling associated with the trigger, and you'll start to be in this state naturally after a while, but you have to seek tension as a catalyst for the emotions to come to the surface and then do this process of welcoming higher emotions in your body. Without tension, you're not going to be triggered. Meditation, journaling and psychedelics rarely trigger those emotions that underlie your interpersonal blocks. For that you need to move into the world and become exposed to tension. Because that's the nature of your issue. Interpersonal shame. Not feeling good enough in relationship to others. Not feeling included. Isolated. Unloved. lonely.... The more you open your heart, become connected to your stomach, your spine and legs, the more you will feel grounded and open. At first, your triggers will make you want to close down, but you have to gradually bring this warm energy of relaxation and love into the parts you have the vulnerability in. It's really simple: People pleaser and nice guy -> Release reactivity during interactions, have thousands of conversations where you do something egoistical. Release the shame from your body when it comes up when you push the tension by doing something selfish. People will push back on you. Now it's your job to ground any reactivity and to release what comes up. Feel unaccepted in groups -> Seek to connect to people 1-1, 2-1 and 3-1 and move towards bigger groups at sports for example and practice opening, grounding etc. This grounding, openness, lightness, confidence and self-love are the reward of an intense journey. They are things you will embody the more you get triggered and welcome higher emotions. And it will compound. Low tension first, then higher tension. The most important thing to realize is that to embody these above feelings, you need to appreciate that healing is a process of interpersonal mirroring where when you start to internally release your emotions while inside tension, your external reality starts to mirror it and confirm to yourself the process of transformation. And slowly, you start to get on board fully and permanently. You start to see that people love you, feel it, and finally accept and integrate that you are indeed lovable. Your parents didn't make you feel it. So now you have to teach it to yourself. And it's not something that can be done by journaling, meditating, etc. Yes, it all helps and is important. But you really need to step into the triggers heads-on. Through this process, you're releasing attachments and aversions in your body. Things you're not willing to feel.

You could say to her in a playful manner that you don't want to hang out with her because she has a boyfriend, and that although you've just met, you sense that you're not really interested in a friendship with her. You could say then 'There's just something about you' or something like that. And then leave it.

Yeah man, I agree, it's an important message