JonasVE12

Do one of these workshops https://www.travelbumcoaching.com/workshops/kiev-3/ https://www.thefearlessman.com/events/ https://www.thecouragecommunity.com/schedule.html

Amazing post. Thank you. I love the above. When I had deep shame and fear related to self-expression, I sometimes screamed at the top of my lunghs outside on the street at night. It was liberating. It helped releasing some tension in my throat area. I know a girl who lost her dad many years ago, but she is still crying to this day about her loss. Is this natural or hasn't she processed her emotions fully yet? On one side, I think it's perfectly healthy and normal that one cries if they think about the death of a loved one. But on the other side, I think she might not yet have processed her emotions yet & healed her hurt. I wouldn'tknow. I would not want to say to the person that it is wrong feeling grief about the death of a loved one. But on the other side, I would want her to process her emotions so she can accept it and find peace. What do you think?

That's not your problem. Only if you both are insecurely attached to each other which comes out of personal lack. What is the 'relationship'? Why would the damage be unrepairable? Isn't a relationship all about genuine connection, acceptance, freedom? I get some women are more oriented towards monogamy, but often it comes out of pain. Isn't it really the goal to be able to be fully authentic in your relationships? And if there is incongurency, that's is a sign of lack of development?

maybe tell her about your desires and wishes? You will feel more authentic doing so. It will free you up mentally and spiritually. She needs to accept this ultimately and make her own choices based on how she feels. If you guys are really connected out of genuinity, your connection will remain. It actually poses a nice opportunity for you both to grow in terms of acceptance. The reason that most people don't want an open relationship is because of the fear of not being good enough for the other person. That they might leave you. If you can accept yourself and her fully, and you trust each other, this would be no problem. And if it is a problem for her... Don't hide your authenticity. Although you love her, you can't supress your desires. Outside of the relationship with her, there are many women that you can have a commited relationship with that's intimate, loving and unrestricted. But to have that in a relationship, those persons need to have some high level of personal development and it's rather uncommon. Easier said than done, I know. You are emotionally attached to her and probably don't want to lose her.

I love that you say 'invest/capitalize', and not just 'spend'. I guess you would need to work out what your values are and how you can live more in allignment with them and then figure out how the money can help in that proces. If you invest, maybe look into cryptocurrency. I wouldn't invest a couple thousand elsewhere as the potential for a good ROI is way lower. Cryptocurrency in it current stage is still an ideal investment if you pick the right projects. Upside potential is still huge. Of course the volatility is an emotional trigger that can make you lose money if you make desicions based on those emotions, but with some understanding of the dynamics behind these markets, both how they flow cyclically and the fundamental drivers behind price action, you'll come to understand that there are projects that will grow very much in 5 years because of the high fundamental value they will provide to society. Of course the price will go up and down because the cyclical nature of these markets, but you have to think long term and sit on your hands. This is not trading. This is long term investing. The time where cryptocurrencies were speculative assets is long over. Some projects are here to stay and will solve problems in society. And some people will get rich in the proces. For example, I invested in Theta some time ago. The concept is decentralised peer-to-peer content delivery that removes much of the bottleneck in the infrastructure of content delivery networks, allows much more efficient data transfer, much cheaper and helps to increase the user experience in the context of video streaming. Current needs in video quality are evolving to 4K streaming, VR, and people with bad internet connection can't watch these streams smoothly. The cost of this for centralised companies is also very high. The problem is only getting worse with the evolving video quality needs. Theta is coming up with a solution for that, but the project is still very early in it's development stages. It already has many partnerships and 3 patents. It is becoming functional. It has a real use-case that solves a big problem. It is still undervalued and so you can expect the price to rise in the future. There are many many more projects that are promising and have great use cases. Gotta do your own research. I wouldn't invest in something you don't understand out of fear of missing out. But if you are young and don't have many responsibilities, who cares losing a couple thousands. I initally invested 10K, and I would not have cared if I lost it all. I will probably hold it for some years and then sell. Still DYOR though and make your own decisions. And if along the way you find your LP, you could cash some money out and invest in your LP.

@Javfly33 I think he meant that if you are not sure if something will sell, there might be opportunity there as your uncertainty might mean that there is a current lack of exposore to that niche and you can pioneer that.

What is the social anxiety telling you? What needs to be discovered? Your behaviors and thoughts are the result of unresolved and unintegrated shadow elements. Trying to get with girls via twitter is not normal. Is is not normal. It is not. You are an animal. What is supressing your animal instincts? Why are you so anxious? In a society like this, online dating is an acceptable human dynamic, but if it is within the context of an anxiety avoidance pattern, it becomes only more toxic for you as it keeps you distracted from the real truth within you. The real healing. All those thoughts about how to be high status, give compliments at the right time, how to approach, how to make her interested, and other related pick-up stuff is complete bullshit. All what happens is that these men project their repressed shadow elements on to the girls for the purpose of a hidden self agenda that is driven very unconsciously and unnatural. They try to become whole through external means. But this is at the cost of real human connection and authenticity. Meeting women should be about her and you. The real you that is there, present, engaged, embodied, integrated, acts out of inspiration. The fact that pick-up is mostly driven by people with these repressed shame elements only makes it so that the whole dynamic of the connection of these men and women is about the men. It's about them trying to claim back parts of themselves through ways that are unconscious and inefficient. The conversations should be playful, free, instinctual, harmonious. There should be a sense of union within yourself and both of you. This is not what happens. You try to feel better about yourself through her validating you. That's the ultimate end goal of these men, having sex, girlfriends and positive experiences so you can feel like a real man. Why don't you feel like it to begin with? What needs to be looked at? What needs to be integrated? What needs to be felt and let go? What needs to be relaxed into? What needs to be confronted? How to do this? These are worthwile questions to ask yourself. Cold approach is in no way bad. It is a neccessary step in the proces of healing. But the entire framework needs to be different and more hollistic. The connection with yourself and emotions is what is important. It's about your energetic flow within your being. It's about BEING, more than doing. It all starts with courage.

@Javfly33 Do you actually want to fuck? Or do you want the experience of having fucked? And how it will make you feel? Would having a girlfriend or sex make you feel more like a man? Would it make you happy? Would it lessen feelings of low self worth? less shame? More empowerment? Where are you running away from? What is inside of you right now that needs your attention? I can feel it in your place. Do you?

I suggest you look at your repressed emotions and see that online dating is just a distraction from the real work you need to be doing. I resorted to online dating because I had too much repressed shame. Look at animals and how they go about this. They aren't fucking stuck in their head full with repressed emotions and conditioning. They react on their instincts. Why don't men? What the fuck is wrong with men that they are so so so sexually repressed and ashamed that they don't dare to talk to real women? It is a sign of a lack of integration and unrealised masculine embodiment. The problem is obviously very deeply seated in the shadow of our collective society, but it's unnatural and removes ourselves from our authentic cores. Only if you have integrated these repressed parts of yourself, online dating can be something you can look into, but it is very often an addiction. Look at gabor mates work and what addiction actually is. It is a cover up and hides your own internal pain and feelings of inadequacy.

It's not because you compliment a girl that you give your power away. It should come from a detached place that is both purposeful and free of outcome. If you go up to a girl that responds well to masculine presence, she will be flattered if you have the balls to come up to her and compliment her. It just depends on how embodied and integrated you are within yourself. Be present, be there, be fully alligned and then compliments can be powerful and create sexual tension. Project your purposeful energy to her and she will feel it and be polarised by it. It also depends on the culture. In western europa, there is much less sexual polarity between men and women because men are generally very socially awkward when it comes to attracting women. It is al very non direct. Just gotta pick the more feminine women. They will be much more open to it if it comes from the right place.

Living very minimalistic could help bringing down your living expenses to the point you only need a part-time job to sustain yourself. You can be very creative and extreme in this. There are people living in their car for this purpose. I wouldn't go that far tbh, but co-housing is an option. There are many cool and decent people out there that are fun to live with and will respect your privacy. If you could split rent with a couple people, that would help a lot cutting down your expenses. Then if you could survive with a part-time job, you could use your time to work on your skills. What I have done is that I got ADHD diagnosed, and am currently in the proces of getting agoraphobia and social anxiety diagnosed. I already live on the social systems expenses. But to be able to permanently do this, I need the other diagnoses. Then I would be completely financially free for the rest of my life. Of course this is only to be able to get more attuned to my LP and work on this. In the end I would no longer need the social systems support, but it helps me to progress. And it does not matter if you don't have the actual disorder. You can fake it. I don't know the regulations in your country though and if it will work for you. When you know what your life purpose is, having to work 9-5, 5 days a week will ruin your energy levels and creativity. It would be a lot easier not to.

This comes from shame. Those patterns you indulge in are cover ups. You have to find truth within yourself. The perfectionism comes from identification to a false self. The false self hides your authenticity. When shame becomes toxic, this is what happens. You hold yourself back and hide your true authentic self. You are perfect as you are. You are whole and complete. You need to connect to the body, shut off the thinking mind and allow your energy to flow through you unobstructed. I'm going out this weekend to connect with strangers myself in order to learn to integrate truth into my body and whole being. Don't enter in a relationship without solving this problem. I made this mistake. Allow yourself to connect with people and accept yourself fully in the proces. If you notice tension holding you back. Inspect that. Relax into that. And allow yourself to just be. Do social freedom exercises until you can let your energy settle in your body. You will find out that you are perfect as you are and that people respond to your own internal energy. They will accept you, will like you, find harmony within the connection that you provide. You only have to find your presence and acceptance first. This is not something you do at home. Of course meditate, but the real meditation and integration happens in moments of tension. Here you need to learn to adapt your energy to this truth. Shame and perfectionism will go away naturally as your energy becomes more unobstructed.

Sure it can. These questions try to assess your personality structure and although many of our traits are just innate personality traits, there are many traits that might not have been fully developed yet or are hidden/hindered by layers of conditioning. For example social conditioning and shame inducing experiences will naturally lead to inauthentic social shyness. It is survival mechanism. A mask. If you remove the mask, you will answer the questions differently. And you will be placed differently inside the model.

@Preety_India great answer!

@Michael569 Thanks mate! Well said. Glad I've got more clarity now. Need to build on it, but becoming conscious about these things is a great start.

It really suprises me how deep inside I knew al allong what my life purpose was. The reason it was hidden from me is because I distracted myself unconsciously by fear and uncertainty. I tried to explore so many ideas already but failed each time. Frustration and emptiness kept building up. I looked in so many directions already. Nothing. After each failure, my thinking was getting more & more pessimistic. My mind was desperately and chaotically looking in so many different directions. I was so desperate for some meaning in my life. I looked everywhere but here, to what I feel inside. Fear acts like an invisble barrier. It's insane. I somehow ended up playing guitar and singing while being very desperate and down last days. I normally don't sing, but I allowed myself to open up and express myself fully today. I usually don't do this because of self-expression blockages. Mostly I rationalize that I don't want to bother the neightbours by singing, but fuck it, I expressed myself fully. I put all my emotional expression in the singing. It felt good. Really good. Relieving actually. I'm usually much more closed off to my feeling and I spend way more time in my thinking mind. Then later that day, emptiness came back and I was more bored than ever. I facetimed my girlfriend and she sensed I was feeling down. We talked a bit about what I'm feeling and somehow, I began to feel more inspiration from my feeling. Intuively, I sensed I was getting attuned to that thing that was really important to me. The conversation was really fruitful. I think the singing helped to make more contact with my feeling which caused the clarity that I got from the self reflection in the convo. In hindsight, my LP is so obvious. I was just distracted and held back by fear. Closed off from my feeling because the fear that it evokes is too painful to confront. Therefore, it might sometimes feel easier to take another route. But I feel like everyone of us has only 1 authentic life purpose that he or she is destined to do. This time, I sense it's different, intuively. It's not just another idea. Because only now I can sense it comes out of an authentic inspiration that comes from my feeling. Something that is truly important to me.

Kelp & atlantic dulse edit: it tastes like shit. Almost had me puking.

Is it the term, or the emotional reaction to the term that triggers you? Men can feel insecure being called a boy, for example when they look much younger than their age, have a baby face, high voice, are short & skinny and especially when they got teased for it in the past. They tend to compare themselves to other males and form an inferiority complex. Being called a boy confirms and reinforces that. Same can happen with women. For example, I used to work in the catering industry some months and one time, I asked my female boss to hand over some things to me because it was busy at the bar and I had my hands full, and later she flipped at me because she wants to be respected like a real woman, and not some girl that's being ordered around and walked over. She was clearly frustrated about the fact that she feels not respected and treated like a little cute girly girl. No no, she wants to be a strong grown up independant woman and give the orders instead of take them. I empathised with her. It was clearly bothering her.

@Space Nice mate, good luck with your journey!

@SamC Good questions. I'd say that for the purpose of self-transcendence, being dominantly left brained can add some difficulty to the proces. Mostly because this proces usually starts by thinking and using our mind. Our mind is our primary vehicle that we use to navigate reality, and thinking is a big part of that. Left-brain people are more likely to be identified to thought stories. Thinking reality can be explained using our mind. These prerational insights and understanding come more easily if you are intuive. But if you are naturally more right brained, developing your left brain capacities will not add extra difficulty. Developing your analytical capacities will not help with self-transcendence, but they can help conceptualising it. For self-actualization, in my own experience, left-brain thinking is essential, and if you identify a weakness in this area, I think it can bring some struggling because one way or the other, our society and relative world is structured in a way that in order to navigate it efficiently, analysis and logic become important values. For example, when doing research, people with less developed left brain can face more difficulty in understanding the information presented. Many books and information sources are written by people that have above average vocabulary knowledge, and this tends to be more a left brain thing. People that aren't struggle with this often. Also the way the information is being processed is different for more analytical people. They tend to understand a logical and conceptual explanation more easily. Also because they are more orientated towards stimulating their analytical mind, they tend to have a wider vocabulary, and so it builds on itself. Working on these things can be beneficial, definitely. But I feel like ideally, you progress towards activities that allign with your personality and strengths. I feel that there is more joy and passion that flows if you do the things where you primarly use your own natural abilities. You'll have to find ways to express them in ways that fulfill you. But yet, other times, sometimes you find yourself in a position where you just gotta struggle and accept that there are some things that are harder to do and maybe not completely natural. But with effort, you can achieve a lot. Maybe you won't become a mathematical genius, but you are able to develop these abilities to the extend that are neccessary to achieve a realistic goal. And if someone who's primarly intuitive wants to become a math genius, they should ask themselves if there are no other persuits that are maybe more authentic and fulfilling. Lastly, developing your analytical mind is also incredibly useful when you are working towards a goal that involves understanding complex topics that are very detailed, broad and conceptually in nature. When you are trying to figure something out, sometimes seeing the big picture in a very complex system is important. Grasping concepts more easily is something that will help you understand and figure out a system more easily and make conclusions that are valued highly by that person for some personal purpose. Going out of your way to specifically train analytical skills could be inefficient as every concept is different. I don't know to what extend conceptual thinking can be trained to the degree that it will be useful and cross-transferable to other areas/concepts. I just know that if your analytical skills are more weak, you gotta really put more effort into detail and focus on linear understanding. Also, then if you understand some complex system conceptually, your intuition becomes a beautiful gift to complement this understanding and sometimes get personal gain out of it.

Ideally, you would market your services in a way that people automatically come to you if they are looking for a solution themselves. People are in different stages of life and everyone has a different outlook, priorities, etc, so you can't have any expectations. Motivation and commitment comes first of all from within. You can inspire people to spark this fire and desire to grow, but sometimes, people are just not ready and it's not because they are lazy. If this is important to you, truly, master it first, refine your knowledge and method, and when you are sure in what you are doing, you can start to find ways to expose your work to the world. Preferably online. People that resonate with your work will come to you and pay you. What is the method?

@Space Yeah, I agree with you, in the end I need to create my own meaning, and find allignment in what I'm doing. It is very difficult to let your persuits and actions flow out of deeper and more natural/authentic forms of inspiration and creativity when you are in contraction, I feel. My desire to achieve financial freedom is just so strong. I feel it will enable me to expand more in ways that I can not do now. There's so many more things to experience in life when you open yourself up to them and find ways to break out of your limitations. I'd say, much of the meaning I gravitate towards is external. It's as if I need to first experience things in order to progress to next stages of life and find other, different meaning. For example, what I often notice from young men is that whever they have never had a girlfriend or haven't had any sexual experiences, they become obsesive and lose meaning in other areas of life. Their primary focus becomes girls. Much of their time is spent trying to learn picking up women, reading about it, thinking about women, online dating, etc. The longing for these types of experience is just so strong for humans, so naturally they gravitate towards spending their time resolving this issue. There can be many different desires that need to be resolved first, I believe, in order to shift your internal world to other maybe more meaningful persuits. In the end, I think all wants and needs need to be experienced and resolved, and it is more difficult, if not impossible to build top-bottom instead of the reverse. If one has abundantly experienced something that was once so important to them to the extent they felt contracted by the non experience of it, they naturally progress and shift meaning to other things. I think the same goes with me. I feel I'm stuck here. Deprived of things and experiences that stimulate my now deepest values. Naturally, I try to find ways to resolve it. So I gravitate towards things/activities that allow me to achieve this financial freedom so I can expand. But then of course, the trajectory itself can bring suffering as well. Because you are not achieving the thing you desire, and because the proces itself is exhausting, both out of lack of enjoyment and other negative emotions. When doing something with the primary motive of achieving a certain experience in the future because you think/feel it will make you happy, is a recipe for struggling. You can't easily escape it. It's human nature. We need certain experiences to stimulate our deepest universal values and desires. And so money is important to me. It blocks me from getting attuned to that inner drive that comes out of joy and authentic inspiration. That life purpose dynamic, I feel, you can more easily get attuned to when you are already fulfilled in most other areas of life. Inspiration, creativity and joy flow much more natural when you are already fullfilled in those other areas. I guess we can't escape the struggling, but can find peace in the proces and that's the most important...

@Michael569 Generally, it is very difficult if not impossible to get an accurate, objective and direct measurement of your mercury toxicity concentration levels because these metals are deep inside your organs in relative small amounts, and blood and urine tests only show recent acute exposure, and don't show the relatively small, but detrimental amounts of mercury in your organs and brain. Though, mercury has a very typical signature where it is known to cause mineral transport derangement. There are certain parameter abnormalities that are consistent in mercury intoxicated people. You can observe these with a hair test analysis. It's not a direct way to determine if you are mercury toxic, but if a test meets a certain amount of predefined counting rules, it suggest very high likelihood of mercury toxicity in a way that is very statistical significant. If one is done with chelation, I would assume that these abnormalities will restore to normal values. https://www.amazon.com/Hair-Test-Interpretation-Finding-Toxicities/dp/0967616816

Round 14 & 15: Done Chelator: DMSA Dose: 25 MG Date: 5 - 8 Mar 2021 & 12-15 Mar 2021 Supporting supplements: Same supplements notes: Currently paused doing rounds. Gonna start again in some weeks. Started having migraines with aura after round 14. I used to have these when I was younger, but didn't have one for years. Now I had multiple in a row. Strange.