Nicachi

He's a handsome gentlemen, he gives me space, the feeling of safety, he listens and is there for me. We laugh together and we chill a lot. A lot. Maybe a little bit too much? I am on my self help journey since I'm about 16 years old. And as I get older (I am 23 now) it gets more and more important to me, to face my shadows, my insecurities, to grow, to observe, to seek the truth and live life out of purpose out of joy. He is working as an electronic. In his free time he hangs out with his friends, used to work out (pre Corona) and plays games on the Playstation. He does not read, he does not engage with new kind of topics when I don't confront him with some. I once asked him if he might be interested in learning new stuff, he said yes but like until now he didn't talked about anything that he'd like to do with me or for himself... So I am wondering if I want to be with someone who does not thrive for something. Like I mean someone who sparkles for something bigger than his 9 to 5 Job and Playstation. On the other hand I try to reflect and I can see that I myself have things that I thrive for like my art, psychology, spirituality, singing, learning etc. And I am wondering how it will work out if he does not have something like that. I know I should focus on my thing but still, it gives me a feeling of unsatisfaction when he plays with his Playstation while I grab some books to learn. And I don't want to sound arrogant. Ofc he should have fun and that's fine, at the same time I notice these feelings. What do you guys say to that? Should a life partner also have a purpose? Or is it just distraction to focus what he is doing rather than focusing on my own way? I appreciate your awnsers, thank you

Isn't it that in a relationship, that sooner or later there will be issues, whether it is purpose, whether kids or money or anything. I'm not sure if breaking up is the best way to deal with relationship issues. On the other hand I see what you want to say here, that purpose might be not an relationship issue but rather an issues of personality.... Wouldn't you say that every person starts to be sceptic sooner or later? Guess that's kind of normal and belongs to a relationship. Even if I love him I can still doubt about aspects about him, and talk about them with y'all guys... Yes I kinda like this perspective too, since I really appreciate him in my life, I don't want to run to another guy just because there was one thing not fitting with the last one... There will never be a fulfilling relationship in that sense... I want to learn how to stick to each other in hard times like this... At the same time the other perspectives seem somehow quiet important too... I really appreciate your awnsers and comments, I mean in the end I have to decide of course... But that's very tough issue, and I'm a bit confused... I've got to think through this for a little while I guess. Even if I'd look for another guy, and I would have a list of things that I want and don't want, and if the list is not fulfilled I don't want him i guess that would be very superficial and naive to think that this is how its going to work out. I'm looking forward for your updated videos about relationship and how they are supposed to work and other advices you'd recommend on this topic. @Leo Gura

Thank you for this awnser Leo..but what if people develop interest in purpose? I mean you also have your course, I guess a lot of people might start without any idea of what their purpose could be, or with low self esteem or vision. And those people have the opportunity to learn something, to develop purpose... In how far do you mean that to be ambitious is a character trait?

@Globalcollective That's also a helpful perspective. I guess I might combine some of the ideas you guys shared with me. For now I will enjoy the relationship an try to overcome some shadows and psychological issues. Time will tell if it's going to work out. I really am in love with him and at the same time I notice how confused I am sometimes. But as you say I will practice to open up my heart fully!! Thank you for these kind and loving words

@flume yea you might got a point there... Currently I'm not quiet sure tbh. I guess I have to look inward for a while and figure out if it's my shadow projection or if it won't work out at all. I'd love it to work out so badly because he is really a very positive person just with another lifestyle.... Thank you for showing me this important perpective too.... @flume @flowboy (In terms of energy, I'm not sure if a women always wants someone who is more confident than herself. And I don't know if he has more confidence than I have.... I was also thinking about the word "Coronaship"... Since we are all lockdowned I've got to make sure I'm not in a relationship because I don't want to be alone.... There are so many things to be aware of, and its pretty hard for me to get clear on that.... (thank you for the compliment btw ☺️)

@flowboy hey!! Wow thank you so much for this great awnser. It fits so well and you're absolutely right about the shadow projection. I did not noticed that at all!! Thank you very much, that helped a lot.

Since i was never teached how healthy relationships work, I am trying to figure it out and learn about it! I am interested in all kinds of relationships but I want to be clear. I will focus my questions on healthy romantic relationships: Can a toxic relationship be transformed into a healthy relationship? Should i enter a relationship with psychic issues like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, traumas, sexual abuse, emotional abuse? What are issues should I overcome, before entering a relationship? Whith what kind of issues is it okay or even needed to get help from my partner and what are issues i should solve on my own? How do i balance my own needs and the needs of my partner? What role play masculine and feminine energy? How is it possible to keep the sex exciting? Can a relationship be healthy, or are there always toxic aspects? How do I differenciate between working on an issue Vs. stop working on it and breaking up? How do I select a partner, what is important to pay attention to (materialistic, financially, appearance, health, same interests...) ? How to deal with boredom in a relationship? Is a healthy relationship possible with huge difference between levels of consciousness? How to prevent entering a toxic relationships (red flags) ? How to differenciate between being attracted by someones appearance and being in love? Whats the difference between being in love and to love someone? Is it possible to learn how to love (in a healthy way not so much egoistic way)? How do I know if I am ready to enter a relationship or if I am just needy and want my sexual needs being met? How do I live my spiritual life, growing in selfactualization, rise in consciousness while being in a relationship? When is a relationship distraction? Is loving someone a feeling, an act, a thought? Is loving someone a conscious decision to make, or does it happen to me? I already saw Leo's Videos about relationshisps, how to make people fall in love etc. but they are all more than 5 or 6 years old, not uptodate, and he already shared that he will update them. Feel free to add questions (also on other relationships, like family, friends, business), awnsers, sources, videos, books, websites, own experiences (...) Much love, Chioma (GER)

Yea same here, i just thought about writing some of my thoughts and questions down to clear my mind up on what it is i really do not understand yet. Sure i will share the points i may not agree fully or where it is still not clear to me: 4. Why is it toxic to expect help from your partner? Of course i see the point in expectations, that they mostly lead to disappointments. But what i am asking here is how much help is still healthy, since i had a men in my life who really wanted to help me in sso many aspects and somehow it felt kinda clingy. I was asking myself, is it okay that he is so into it or is he too clingy? 5. i guess there might be a difference between needs and desires isnt it? But still in a relationship there are very subjective needs the person have; otherwise why would they want to be in the relationship besides loving each other. I guess love is not enough to be in a relationship do you agree? 7. Monogamy and Polygamy is another thing I am thinking about. Me too i am unsure if monogamy is practical, especially for a long term relationship 10. Okay i see your point here, still I am pretty unsure when it comes to all those factors. Ofc i want to check out their life situation on finances, psychological issues and stuff like that, but how do i sort out the things that do not work for me? Maybe someone fulfills every aspect that i seek to find but is financially not stable. Or someone who is really into spirituality and self help but still struggles with his emotional development. You see what i mean? I think it is very hard to chose someone and expect them to fulfill so much. On the other hand, they would make my life worse with certain unfulfilled points. Very twisted thing. 12. But when you are so conscious, that you'd be with someone who is on a much lower level do you think it would workout? Especially when your level of consciousness develops in the relartionship more than your partners level, i doubt that it can work properly. 17. Yeah it is not about denying my sexual needs. It is more about figuring out what makes me feel attracted to someone. Do i relly want to be with this person for the rest of my life/a long time or am i just selfish because i want sex, cuddle, enjoy time with him/her for now? I think this one is kinda tricky. I dont want to fool myself. 20. Ofc but then you could be together with everybody. I think this awnser is too wishy washy on this question. Love is everywhere right, but when it comes to being in love or loving someone i guess there are slighly differences. How do I know that i love someone? does it show in my thoughts?, my gut feeling? my heart? Is it even possible to decide to just love this one person this one partner, since love is everything that is here ?

@Jacob Morres where?? ?

@Jo96 thank you so much for sharing all your awnsers. Your point of view is very interesting and I surely share some aspects with you. I appreciate your time for the reply!!

A specially narcissistic persons. How to deal with narcistic persons How to leave them How to deal with backlashes How to not portray them as evil beings but still keep distance

While I was researching about a bunch of stuff for my exams I noticed how Platos "Cave Parable" shows a lot of similarities to the "Spiral Dynamics" model from Christopher Cowan. And I also think the "Cave Parable" is really similar to the monomyth "Hero's Journey". Parallels from Cave Parable and Spiral Dynamics: -discribing development levels to enlightenment -showing that everybody needs to go through every stage to find the Truth and get enlightened -Not only individuell phenomenon but a whole cultural 'Issue' Parallel from the "Cave Parable" and the "Hero's Journey" -after enlightenment (cave parable)/ and returning from the journey trying to share the things that you learned (...) So I could go on and on but I'd like to hear some of your ideas about this: Do you see the similarities/connection between those models? Or maybe also some differences? If so, feel free to share your ideas with me Much love Chichi <3

Hey I don't have an advice but I really feel you... But I noticed the more conscious you be that sometimes situations seem weird. As Leo says personal growth causes strange social behavior sometimes... And I guess it's okay to feel nothing romantic.. If you enjoy to hang with him maybe keep doing it but if it's too much and you feel a bit overwhelmed I'd stop it... I know it is always easier to say things like that and to act like that is so hard sometimes.. But maybe just try to be more conscious in those moments and dont be to rough to yourself.. If u enjoy staying alone feel free to do so even if you may end in a relationship... Time for one self Is so important. Much love

- 2/3 hours no food before sleep. - Get a nice routine (meditation, preparing stuff for the next day, soft yoga session) before sleep so that your body and mind get used to it. - better reading a book than scrolling down on social media (really hard for me to do but its so effective) - drinking something warm like a tea (without Coffein ofc) always calms me down

Thanks a lot for your awnser!! Much love

Is it 'normal' /'healthy' to feel sexual attracted to others while being in a relationship? And by atracted I don't only mean sexual but also spiritual. (I have the feeling that I want to grow spiritualy but in my current relationship I guess it won't be the case that he can support me in that way and neither he can support me. He is kind of narcissistic.) Sometimes I meet people and I feel such intense (not always) sexual but also spiritual vibes. Like a direct connection. A feeling of wanting to be with them doesn't matter if it is a men or women. (I'm bi also) I'm not quiet sure if I should stay in the relationship because the more I feel attracted to others the less I feel attracted to my partner. And I guess thats not quiet healthy is it? I'm a bit sceptic because I'm not sure if this is just because we may reached a plateau in our relationship and that's why I'm seeking something 'new' or if this is a real issue I should take seriously. I'd love to hear your opinions about this. Thanks a lot!

Thank you.

@Chakra Lion thank you so much for that!! It's like you're seeking from within myself. The issue with my root Chakra is really serious tho. I'm always so insecure about myself. And also have to deal with anxiety and panic attacks... I had an abusive childhood I guess thats one of the reasons it is not in balanced. I thought about doing a therapy but somehow I didnt do it yet... I might get some information how to balance my root Chakra (although I guess this takes a lot of time right). I already do a lot of yoga but more like the guided yoga sessions on YouTube. Still I feel the more yoga and meditation I do the more I get sensible to my insecurity that I always tried to suppress. Do you got any advices for that? Already thank you so much. Opened my eyes a bit more now. Much love

.. While the break up we still had contact... I guess both of us were afraid to be without the other. I couldn't really stand it anymore so I told him hey I cannot stay jn contact with you when I want to heal and get over it. So I told him I want to cut the contact. Due this we talked about rather coming back together than having no contact at all and try a long distance relationship. So Id it was out of the fear of being alone, the fear of change, although I missed him but I guess that sad not the primary issue... Right now it's hard for me to even write this down cause I know it's the truth and I have to face it. Thank you so much for your awnser leo and all the other people! I guess subconsciously I already felt it, the reason why I started the topic, but it still helped me to talk about it here. Now I have to take action...Not quiet sure how I should do it. But I guess this is only up to me. Thank you all <3 much love!!

@Michael569 hey Micheal, Yes I also thought about to do this in a mediation and contemplate about this. Although I already did that stuff... Maybe not intense enough yet to find out. I'm really 50/50: on the one hand I really wanna try it and make it work, cause I know relationship need work to grow together On the other hand I'm like why should I waste my time trying to fix something that won't work. And also he is not into spirituality at all and it feels like if I ever talk about it or try to help him out with stuff he totally blocking it. Because he "knows better and spiritual things ain't his thing". I don't know if I'm over reacting and need to calm down and give it a try or if I should just leave it. Plus it's a long distance relationship also..... Already thanks for your advice!!

@Leo Gura okay I see what u mean... To define whats long and whats short. We have been together for 2 years then broke up because it didn't worked out well. And had a break of 9 months, now we're together since 2 weeks since the break. Already thanks for your advice Leo!

Hey. I feel this. Before a while I was in a likely situation. Not quiet sure how to handle this. But I know that if you end a relationship with the attitude of "hey let's break up handle our shit and get back together soon" will make it way much harder to leave the person. It's just like teasing and it will be harder to let go and not permanently think about the other person I guess. But also as you said mostly it's that one has to go through this phases. Sometimes you have to deal with a backlash like I did. (broke up with my bf then got back together and now I'm unhappy cause I'm again in this toxic relationship I just ended..) Maybe focus on the things why it didn't worked out. And try to remember them as often as possible. Idk if this helped just felt an urge to awnser this. Much love

Maybe you could try to visit places which attract higher consciousness people like a yoga course? Mostly visited by women who are more into the spiritual way of living.

@SoonHei my actual question was if somebody experienced a nondual state in a "dangerous" situation. Maybe I should write it down more directly next time. I'm sure that I experienced a nondual state of mind. Because it was not the first time in the car. Also had these kinds of experiences in random places. But I see that the car example might not have been a good/direct enough one to point out my question... Still, thanks for your response Much love, Chichi