Nicachi

Sometimes, there are moments where everything is fusion into each other. I cannot see a difference between things. Between a tree and myself, between the road and the car. Everything is just one. It doesn't happen often but in some situations I get in that kinda state where everything is just one and my mind is like melting away. Last time I had this experience while I was driving the car in my lesson for my driving license. We we were driving down the road. And somehow I felt like I'm melting. Everything was melting. And it didn't really matter if I'd still drive or just leave it. It nearly felt like "I" disappear. In that time my teacher asked me something, cause I guess he felt that I was (what it seems for him) dreaming. But I couldn't give awnser. It was like hypnosis. This moment it wa sso beautiful. A clearness. It was perfect. After a few moments my ego/fear was there, sending alarm signs to safe my body and I came back to "normal reality". I'm curious if this will bring me in a difficult situation one day where I cannot differentiate what is what. Not that it would change a lot in the big picture but I mean on the perspective of my personal, human life... It's insane. Can you relate to that? Did you ever had a moment like that in a "dangerous" situation?

@cetus56 hey thank you for the comment. I'd never heard that before but it makes sense for a lot of people I guess to misunderstand this situation. Ofc there could be a possibility that also I was just on a hypnosis and mistook it for a non dual state.. But I'm quiet sure that it was a nondual state. I had that states before in other situations and it nearly felt the same. I told you guys the road example because I was thinking about if a nondual state can bring "dangers", If there are experiences of people who where zooming in so much in a nondual state that they, or you might say their ego would not want to come out of it again because it dissolves. Much love Chichi

@Serotoninluv @Serotoninluv Ah I can relate to that feeling of losing control... What would I do next do seomthign weird? Freak out? Scream?? I'd say I will try to flow with it next time but I guess I cannot actively try it... It will happen by itself. I kinda trust that feeling it is way bigger than the fear to lose control about myself. Its so peaceful even if its just some seconds sometimes. I love how light life feels in that moments. Nothing to worry about. Just being... Just happening...

A while ago I was in a relationship with this guy. It all started with that friendship plus thing. After a while I noticed I cached feelings for him and we became a couple. During the relationship I had big shifts in my consciousness, I worked on a lot of personal issues, disfuncional behavior and insecurities. After one year of a happy relationship he moved to my house where I lived with my mother and brother. Not a good idea. Since that moment it was awful. The sex became so lame without passion, we were together 24/7 and I didn't had the space I needed. He was really clinging and couldn't understand that I'm going through some deep shit rn.. Like I had traumatic things I was working on and he was really just trying to explain his view without understanding mine... We argued a lot and I noticed it doesnt make sense anymore. So I broke up with him. Now.. 9 month after the breakup, we talked about the past, what went wrong etc. Now we want to try it again (as a long distance relationship 500km). My best friend told me that she thinks I'm just holding on on him because I think I'm not getting somebody else. I know it is not true. I can find somebody else but I don't want. I want to be with him but the thing is... Do I want it because I'm afraid to let go? Was this a step backwards now? Just to feel safe and not to deal with the pain it would cause to leave him??? Or if it is okay to give second chances and try it again, although he is not at all on this spiritual path like me. It Dienst bother him that I do that stuff but I feel like it could create a kind of distance if I rise in consciousness but he won't.... And somehow I'm afraid to get more aware because I may see it won't work out. Ofc I don't wanna live in an illusion and fool myself or him but yes.. Idk maybe you can relate to that? Have you been in a situation like this before? Any advices??? Thanks a lot much love... Chichi

@Serotoninluv because like you said it would be a long distance relationship and yes that quiet rough. Plus the issues we have to face. If he is not ready to change or if he sees that everything is okay without working on it, I won't do it. Cause that would be the same as before. We will see... I will know more after the weekend

@Serotoninluv yes I also feel like it may be something for the short run... Learning, growing with each other. I have a weird gut feeling somehow. I kinda really want to do it and try it out. Still something feels not that convinced about it. Cause I know that he is not on selfinquiary and growing but still I have an urge to show him how it could look like... Maybe to give him an idea about selfinquiary. And self help. I don't know... Really mixed up feelings in the moment, especially reading all this comments on my post.

@Serotoninluv that's amazing!! Thanks for telling your story... Sounds quiet a dangerous and peaceful at the same time. Dangerous in relative reality and peaceful in Absolute reality. Yes the scary thing about it is that's its so uncertain in that moment. Like it's a beautiful moment.. And it feels like I cannot resist it because it's so overall beautiful! I hope I won't feel fear in future before these moments arise. Because now everytime that I feel it coming I kinda get nervous

@Spiral thanks for your honest response. Appreciate it. I'll still think about it. Much love

@Anna1 thanks for your honesty. I will talk to him. On the weekend, depends on how the conversation might go, we will try it or leave it.... Not quiet sure yet.

Okay.. These are some really good questions.... Yes I did improve since the break up, and I want to work on my flaws and my behavior.. I also told him that. On the weekend we will see us and then we want to talk. As it seems for now I guess he didn't really worked on himself, but I'm not quiet sure. I will wait til the weekend end see what will come out. I want to do this relationship again just in case if he is really ready to work on himself and on the relationship, cause thats a lot of work we gotta do to make it work. And I really want it. I'm excited how he will react to my perspective. I guess he'd say something like "ahh you always so serious tho, just chill" If he comes me with his attitude I guess it would be a good idea. Cause fore me relationship is really something I want to grow in and also make the other person grow. Thanks for your awnser on my issue! Really helped me out... Much love

@Sirius Orion thanks for the recommendation!! I will read it of course... Hopefully it will work to find out more about the masculinity!! Much love

@FabulousKitchen thank you so much for the comment.. Really helps me out rn ??much love

Hey guys, This is so paradox. I'm writing to all of you around the world rn but actually kinda writing to myself. Where is the difference between me and you. I am you. You are me. That is so frightening because then I'm all alone!!!!! And even if you guys will write something it won't change the fact that all is one. So actually I'm talking to myself rn. I have the feeling of going crazy. I have to cry and laugh at the same time. Feeling truth and being afraid of it at the same time. I'm loosing myself. Literally. I am disappearing. I'm not tripping rn. This is... Insane. Everything is perfect as it is, but it's so paradox I cannot grasp it.. Does it make a difference if I'd kill myself?? I could die rn and still everything would be working out perfect, wouldn't it? I would be released from this personal illusion of self and maybe could fuse with pure consciousness. Without struggling with the little personal "problems and issues". Does anyone get me? I feel like it is bullshit to even post this, because in the end it doesn't matter. Wow I feel like the ground is disappearing. Nothing makes sense anymore. My heart is beating so fast. Goosebumps. Crying and laughing. Void. Not knowing what is going on rn.

Hey... I guess that was the greatest awakening I ever had so far. I noticed that the "suicidal thoughts" came into my mind because my ego was so feared to dissolve that it made something up to worry about, to create some kind of personhood. I feel way better since that day... Heard some satsangs from mooji and watched some videos of eckhart tolle. Also journal a lot! And all the comments here also helped a lot!!! I'm so grateful. Thank you ❤️??

@Mikael89 I meditate (last time not that regular) , reading self improvement books, yoga, and journal a lot.

I will do so. I was so overwhelmed by this feeling of truth. Today I feel much better.. Still weird but yea it's beautiful, so beautiful. Thank you for your comment.

@AlldayLoop one of the most soothing quotes. Thank you.

You know, I always wanted to test shrooms and psychedelic stuff but I guess I'd freak out... Because I'm not tripping and I'm having these thoughts and physical effects like heartbeat ING so strong and sweating, shaking, laughing, crying... I feel better today than yesterday but still I guess I need time to go with this new view on everything... It feels supernatural... And weird... Thanks for your advice.. I will watch this video tonight and hope I will feel a bit more relaxed.

@oMarcos sound interesting... Will order some of em soon. Thank you for the tip.

@tsuki .... I'm in awe. It happens to itself and that feels really weird. As if Ioose control, but in a good way. Because I never had control about anything... I guess I might need some time to really just go with that new feeling and view of life. Quiet overwhelming. Thank you for your comment.

@Paul92@Paul92@Paul92@Paul92 "I" feel "you" ...

Hmm that's a good question... I'm not quiet sure yet.. But thanks for your inspiration I will think about it in the future.

Hey guys, So I'm currently kinda struggling with my sexuality. I'm not quiet sure if I might am bi sexual. I feel attracted to women in a way that I cannot discribe, but since now I never had something with a women. Til today I had a few boyfriends, but there weren't similar to my dad. Instead I guess there were pretty the opposite... But there is something that I question about this: Do I really feel attracted to women or am I just running away from my trust issues in men?? because I am afraid to get hurt?? I notice that if I have conflict with men, not only boyfriends also coworker for example, I'm really sensible to that and feel like a little girl again that got hurt and is sad now. And sometimes that are just like little things and I feel offended directly. I notice it always because I get conscious of this emotional conflict in that moment.. But I don't know if it is enough to get conscious about it. I actually want to get rid of that daddy issue and get kinda control about my emotions... I don't know.. I'm really insecure and wanted to share my thoughts to this topic... Can anyone relate? All the best Chioma

thanks a lot. much appreciate <3