Mkayl

I'm doing a lot of research and self-inquiry on resistance right now and I think any non-enlightened person can relate. More often than not when I bang into an unwanted resistance I'm thinking: "Man what's this resistance for anyway? My life would be so much better if I didn't have that resistance." I found that most resistance in my life is unnecessary but sometimes there is merit to it. The problem is how to discriminate one from the other. What's your take on this? When do you think resistance is something to be overcome/let go of, and when do you think that we need to heed its advice?

27. I started doing self-actualization 2 years ago and my life's become pretty amazing since then. Sometimes I ask myself what my life would look like if I'd started 10 years ago which is stupid because I wasn't ready for that back then. So... taking off now

@ZenMonkey, @Ayla thank you for your replies. I feel that you're exactly right. There's no reason for this kind of sacrifice. I think for me it's mostly an issue of fear of making myself vulnerable. I had to laugh when I noticed that all my rationalizations for making this sacrifice a "nobel" thing were just so that I didn't have to work them out. Had a good laugh about that :-D

Hi Lately I've realised how strong my conviction is that I can't do both at the same time: self-actualization and having an intimate relationship. I'm clearly in favour of self-actualization but I'm not happy with this situation. I read a lot of books, meditate daily, explore the world within and without and every new day I try to massive fuckin' action the shit out of it. But for some reason I can't do the same with intimate (sexual) relationships. I fear that I'll lose myself in relationship monkey business, getting distracted from self-actualizing and ending up doing it half-assed or losing myself. I'm really content with how things are progressing in my self-actualization except for my relationship problem which I see as a huge blindspot in my Maslow's pyramid. I've tried a number of times but always ended up withdrawing. And I really do miss intimacy. What's your take on this?

What does it mean to go deep in meditation and what's your experience of it like?

@Rayana Do you think that doing self-actualization is selfish? I sometimes think so too. In order to go deep I need time to myself, sometimes a lot of it. I can imagine that especially in places with a lot of insecurity and drama people kind of expect you to be there for them and support them. Or that's what you expect from yourself. But going reclusive is just one way of self-actualizing. Maybe one way doing it differently would be to be as active as you think you need to be, but use the situations that present themselves to you as a practice. Practicing being aware of your emotions as they happen so you are able to choose how to react with awareness in any given situation. Or maybe you can even find a way of using those highly charged emotions, be it positive or negative, to energise you and help achieve the change you want to achieve. That is if you look at emotions from the perspective of energetic charges. There are so many ways of doing self-actualization so don't give up on it .

Yeah audio, audio, audio indeed . You can also try podcasts to mix it up. I sometimes listen to the Tim Ferriss Show. He interviews interesting people about interesting topics.

Hi Rayana Reading your post I can't help but to think about this video. If you take Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as a model for self-actualization, then a war zone makes maintaining those basic layers very difficult. But I think that doesn't make self-actualization impossible. Maybe you can even use all that hatred and suffering as @Bruno Sousa said to feed your process. I can't really relate to your situation since I probably live in the most stable place on this planet but I'd love to hear about your experiences and impressions.

Ok so here goes my experience. I always get a little bit sentimental when I talk about it so be prepared. My Travel Journey: Last autumn I went on an outdoor-tip with a good friend of mine. One week of kayaking through the many rivers and lakes in the wilderness of Sweden with no human soul around for days. We only brought the essentials with us: A hammock, food, a fishing-rod, some spare cloths, some outdoor equipment and a Ukulele . We made our own food, having some fish if we got lucky, collecting some blueberries to make some sweet pancakes for breakfast. Chopping wood in order to get dry and stay warm during the night. Taking in the beauty of nature for hours on end. Shouting and laughing like crazy since nobody was around to care. Being on your own for so long with bears and wolfs and whatnot around was an experience by itself. We returned our Kayak and spent the last day in Stockholm, the capital of Sweden. Man... Everything about humans and civilisation seemed different to me than before. The first beer and food in a restaurant was like from a different world. Pretty much everything about civilisation seemed like an artwork. Knowing that nothing can be taken for granted at all and no matter how much we bend and design our surroundings, there is always the truth of nature present. I knew this before but during that week I experienced it deeply. Life Changing Experience: There is one particular moment I'll probably remember for the rest of my life. It was during the night, cold as fuck because the sky was clear, so we couldn't really sleep. The sky was full of stars and the milky way right above us. No light pollution around for miles so we had perfect visibility. There was a small lake nearby where I caught my first fish earlier that day. We decided to go there with our Kayaks to take in the view. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. It was in the middle of the lake which was smooth like a mirror, reflecting the whole milky way all around us. I probably spent a whole hour in the middle of that lake, just taking it all in. I've never felt that much awe for life. It truly felt like everything was one.

I've been trying to figure out how to make high fitness and good nutrition a consistent part of my life for a long time. But I kind of failed every time . Once I did a lot of climbing for two years, got hurt and had to quit. Once I did a lot of martial arts for 2 years and then lost interest. Once I did a P90X for some month and then got lazy. Now I'm kind of going for a run, doing some intense workout or yoga from time to time and I feel healthy. But I also feel like this is just not enough. I want high stamina, strength, flexibility and coordination. I noticed that there is a lot of negative motivation in my wish to be at peak performance. Like being aware of the consequences of letting fitness and health slide. Or like wanting to look good. Or thinking that I can't enjoy life as much without it. I also notice that I lack a vision for what I'm trying to achieve here since I catch myself being content with 'feeling good enough'. So I ask myself: How to make consistent, good fitness and nutrition a part of life based on positive motivation? What does that positive motivation look like for you? I'm interested in hearing from people who had some success with this.