Anderz

The ego experiences itself as separate and therefore is incapable of real relationships. So conflicts are easier for the ego to manage than friendly interaction, since conflict to the ego indicates something genuine, and friendly means phony and fake. The ego is a bundle of fear and therefore is only capable of contrived friendliness since the ego foundation is distrust and protection. Fear goes together with protection and conflict. And no matter how strong the protection is, as long as the fear remains, the ego is killing itself, literally. That's why ACIM says that being defenseless is true protection and why the Bible says that the meek shall inherit the earth (the non-meek will slaughter each other into oblivion). Meek doesn't mean a phony submissive ego state. Meek means beginner's mind and true defenselessness. When we need to defend ourselves we are always afraid and are attacking ourselves.

David Wilcock said if I remember correctly that Ra in the Law of One said that 40% (or maybe it was 60%) of all civilizations in the universe are humans. I have been thinking that 100% of all civilizations are human! Because of a fractal as below so above principle, to make civilizations compatible with each other. Notice that beings of fifth density and higher can shapeshift their physical bodies so they don't have to look like humans but their original form is human I think. And this is consistent with the Bible in my opinion, because Jesus said: My interpretation is that many mansions means many civilizations, and with humans in the likeness of God. And heaven in the Bible means fourth density and higher. And the first heaven means fourth density and the second heaven means fifth density and so on. And Revelation 21 talks about a NEW heaven and earth, which to me means a fourth density earth which is new because we haven't entered fourth density fully yet on earth. Even Q confirms the idea of other civilizations in the universe:

I think I wrote in some previous post that death is real in third density and unreal in fourth and higher densities. So when ACIM talks about death as being unreal it then refers to fourth and higher densities. And fourth density as described by Ra in the Law of One is as I see it simply the same physical reality as on earth now with limitations removed. This also explains Fermi's paradox. The Law of One says that earth is in a planetary quarantine. And the development of earth is likely the same as on other planets. So some planets are third density or lower and other planets are fourth density or higher. The third density civilizations are like our current civilization on earth and in planetary quarantine, so they can't visit us. And fourth density and higher civilizations cannot officially contact us yet because of the quarantine.

I came up with this speculative take on the death drive. A large part of what I call the ego armor is the death drive. The Wikipedia article said that Eros which includes the sexual drive is the opposite of Thanatos, the death drive. I see Eros as positive orgone (POR) and the death drive as deadly orgone (DOR). There is also neutral orgone (OR). There is a lack of neutral orgone in ego consciousness, so there is a tension between the death drive and the sex drive in the ego. Children probably have a lot of neutral orgone. That would explain why many people in positions of power have sexual lust for children, because with their power they can get a lot of things, but not neutral orgone. So in their desperate subconscious need for neutral orgone they believe they can get it from children when they mistake positive orgone, or even deadly orgone (child sacrifice and other such horrors) for neutral orgone. Neutral orgone needs to start flowing within the person, probably with an open heart as the center. And the neutral orgone melts away the death angst and balances the orgone energy within the whole body and mind.

Oh. The death drive is billions of years old! I got reminded of that. The death drive is also sometimes called thanatos. I recently heard Roger Castillo and then in another video Rupert Spira talking about the past as possibly being only memories experienced now. I believe that's correct but also that the past is real. The entire history of the universe, even if instantly manifested in the now as timeless information, still has the timeline and experience of billions of years. And throughout all of biological evolution death has been a necessary mechanism. So the death drive is an enormous instinct in us. I experimented with feeling the death drive and one sensation I got was a ghastly feeling in my chest area. Nasty! I will work with that a bit more and see if the death angst or what it is can be melted away with mindfulness practice.

The ego takes physical death totally for granted. ACIM is very clear about death:

Instead of struggling against the death penalty, wars and other ego insanities my strategy is to go one step further and question death itself. The ego is a death cult. The ego defends death because it's afraid of eternal life. And one possibility is that it's the ego itself that is the cause of death, even in animals. Gaia consciousness is deathless as I see it because then we become the whole planet, and if one person in Gaia consciousness dies, the whole earth dies. The ego can get buried in Gaia but Gaia cannot be buried in Gaia. Let the dead bury the dead, as Jesus Christ said.

I'm a huge fan of Trump at the moment and I still believe that he is at Spiral Dynamics level Turquoise. But we will see, I can change my mind. There are things that I strongly disagree with Trump about such as the death penalty. I think he even wants to execute Edward Snowden! That's insanity. The death penalty is below stage Red in consciousness. Should the government recruit sadists as executioners who murder people in a calculated cold blood just because the prisoner himself or herself is a murderer or a "traitor" to the nation? Say hello to the Dark Ages. But other than things like that I think Trump is doing a great job. What I need to become a more firm Trump supporter is that the Spygate scandal begins on a massive scale. I believe that will make many Bernie supporters vote for Trump instead of Biden. Bernie Sanders as President would have been fine too, but not Biden. I supported Marianne Williamson for President but she is probably too much ahead of the curve when it comes to consciousness development and has ended her campaign.

At the end of this video Adyashanti mentioned what sounds similar to the state of connectedness I described in my previous post: Adyashanti - An Inner Resource of Peace - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-9-N5HHq1M

I discovered that ego activity is actually useful. It causes the activity to be individually focused. The problem is when we are stuck in only ego activity all the time, and when even the sense of self is trapped in the belief of being a separate entity always having to manage things as a separate doer. One integral approach is to be able to shift one's awareness to the connected state of being and be able to shift back and forth into ego activity. Then the self has a foundation in the connected state while still being able to move in and out of focused ego activity. I'm practicing this at the moment including experimenting with resting in the connected state. I believe that's what Eckhart Tolle and Sadhguru have talked about when they say that they don't need to think all the time. Even the thinking can be relaxed into the state of connectedness.

Interestingly, Leo described in his latest video an experience that to me sounded like the individual self as one of the jewels in Indra's net. Leo described it as being infinitely connected to everything and each connection in turn being infinitely connected; infinity within infinity within infinity going on forever. It sounded pretty scary actually, lol. In my model, the self actually is infinitely connected like that. Fortunately, in my model the manifested reality is always finite, so what Leo experienced ended according to my model, not actually because any free will choice by anyone, not even by God, but by manifested reality always being finite. So we will always snap out of seeming infinite and endless experiences like that.

I will start testing my model of reality a bit more. That's like the scientific method where hypotheses are tested with empirical experiments. Key premises in my model are individual self, changeless foundation and evolution towards larger holons. Is there an individual self? According to my model, yes Para Brahman is the changeless, eternal and infinite foundation of reality and the individual self is a unique and changeless point within Para Brahman. In my model Para Brahman is the same as Indra's net. And the individual self is one of the eternal "jewels" in Indra's net. It sounds metaphorical but I have a precise definition of it as described in previous posts. If, as I suggest, the individual self is a unique and changeless point, then it means that the self doesn't have free will. In ego consciousness we need the sense of free will to function or we would fall into a psychological depersonalization disorder. However, my model is consistent with ACIM which says that the ego is a false perspective. So what can be tested is the idea of the individual self as being a changeless point. This is different than DPD in that the individual self is everything experienced instead of as a passive self separate from the manifested world.

One expert said that something like 97% of all money is created by commercial banks. This means that governments have very little power in practice in regulating the money in society. Central bank digital currencies (CBDCs)) can radically change the situation so that governments take control over the money. And corruption and organized crimes are dominated by money. CBDCs will also make it easy to automatically track the use of money, for example by using deep learning AI algorithms. There have been claims that the WHO warned about using cash early on. The WHO however said that they didn't do it: Maybe it was an unofficial statement by the WHO that The Telegraph reported about or that they exaggerated the WHO statement. It at least adds a bit to this WHO controversy: "Trump says WHO didn’t share early information about Covid-19. A new report shows that’s not the case." - Vox.com, Apr 19, 2020

Aha! Now I found a new news article about cash being dangerous: We will see if more news articles like this appear soon. It's still small news.

I have a new strategy! The reason for why I became depressed during fasting was probably not that it was ineffective but that my perspective was too limited. So my new strategy is to move into fourth density. And even if that may very well be a woo woo delusion, it's a much larger perspective than being stuck in a third density body and needing to fast and all that. The larger perspective feels better and more in alignment with what I want. Here is a video from 2019 by Aaron Doughty about this larger perspective:

Leo said that we need to explore for ourselves levels of consciousness. That's very relevant to my idea of Gaia awakening. If a planetary consciousness hasn't emerged yet, then spiritual teachings are like ants trying to explain to another ant what the experience of human consciousness is. Our self as an ant in this analogy will interpret the teachings in terms of an ant framework and be incapable of significantly grasping what a human perspective is. In ego consciousness we are like ants compared to Gaia consciousness. That's my idea at the moment.

Leo has this new YouTube video: It will be interesting to compare that to his past videos about consciousness.

There is also the Gaia hypothesis: That's a bit different than what I have in mind. I'm thinking of the whole planet earth as a collective conscious being. I will call it the Awakening of Gaia! The Great Awakening. Then it can be made consistent with the Gaia hypothesis which then describes the unawakened earth, while the awakened Gaia is where we humans become one with the whole earth as a living planetary organism. Gaia is also the "victorious one" in the Bible: Jesus Christ will also give the victorious one the morning star, which means some kind of planetary relationship between Earth and Venus.

Eckhart Tolle talked about thinking with the whole body. I have another idea: to think with the whole planet earth! That's Gaia, our planet as a holon. So our "body" then becomes the whole planet, and our "brain" becomes a collective brain of the whole earth, not only all humans but also all animals, plants and inorganic objects, including continents, the oceans, the atmosphere and the interior of the earth. It's similar to the noosphere idea: And Peter Russell has this documentary from the 80s called The Global Brain:

If nothing real can be threatened, then what about physical death? Is the physical body unreal? My view is that the physical body is real. And this results in a radical assumption: physical death is unreal. Notice how different this is to basically what everybody says, even enlightened gurus. Nobody has ever died for real. What we experience as death and history is timeless information in the now.

ACIM says that nothing real can be threatened. Then what about all the conflicts in the world? One hypothesis is to think of the conflicts as an ego overlay which is real on that level and at the same time unreal when looking at the total picture. It's like a video game where there can be all kinds of conflicts yet the players always remain safe because they exist at a more fundamental level than the characters and conflicts going on in the video game. Applying the video game analogy on the real world we can treat the conflicts going on as a game, literally. It's a shift of perspective. Is it a valid perspective? I don't know but ACIM could be correct! So I think it's worth testing the hypothesis by treating mainstream news, politics and so on as a game, which means approaching the conflicts from a game theory perspective with emphasis on the term game.

Here is a good presentation of the current currency situation by Simon Dixon. He seems to know what he is talking about. He said that central bank digital currencies can be created without debt. When commercial banks create money it is as debt. He also said that China has already started to roll out their e-yuan and I have seen news headlines about it, at least in the form of tests. Global Currency Wars Starting Amid The Health Crisis! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG4mHb3rLkc So China is implementing their digital currency earlier than I expected. And the Chinese population already use electronic payment for basically everything, such as with Alipay and WeChat pay. The e-yuan seems too Orwellian to me but I think it will be good if western countries started using something similar, even with government tracking to prevent corruption and organized crimes. And I still think it would be good if China makes their digital currency platform open source, or that a common standard is developed so that the different e-currencies can easily and automatically be exchanged. Otherwise we are back into the old silo style currencies with inefficiencies.

I stopped my fast because I was starting to feel depressed. That's a bad sign in my opinion. I'm still satisfied with having accomplished several days of fasting. And I feel clearer and with more energy, so overall the result is good I think. My new experiment is to try to achieve similar results using only mindfulness practice. That's probably slower and perhaps without much biological effects but I can sustain it for much longer.

Ken Wheeler has this new video where he explains some fundamentals of physics. A lot of it too advanced for me, but it sounds way closer to my model than the current mainstream view of physics. Except I believe quantum mechanics is correct when interpreted as only waves. This is another example of how mainstream science today is defending false dogma. A more shocking recent revelation to me was the explanation that viruses don't exist! Just wow. Viruses are exosomes it seems. Mainstream science is in a deep crisis behind the whitewashed facade of their ivory tower of fabricated credibility and authority.

I have been hoping for a Spygate scandal this summer. It may happen. Huge scandal that will make Watergate look like a Sunday picnic. This recent Q post has a link to a Lou Dobbs tweet: They talk in the video about how the FBI should never have allowed Christopher Steele as a source. That's Spygate stuff. Does this mean that the FBI is corrupt and run by black hats, or was corrupt during that time around 2016? No, I don't think so. Instead I believe it's a case of what I wrote about earlier that sometimes white hats play the role of black hats. My theory is that the FBI on purpose approved the Steele dossier to allow the corrupt powers to become trapped in their own chicanery. We will see what the Durham report (Trump said that the report will be +++ compared to the FISA report) will say (if it is released to the public). Q writes that they are ready and mission good. Sounds to me that they are referring to the Spygate scandal.