Anderz

Personal individual control can feel like pleasure and power when we feel that we are in control. To feel like a passive victim sucks. Feeling of being powerless sucks. So how to recontextualize the feeling of control without having individual separate control? In my hypothesis, individual separate control is only pseudo-control. It's not actual control. It's fake control. Yes, there can be pleasure in having a sense of being in control, but it's a delusion. The solution is to move into real control. What is real control? From a nonduality perspective real control is a result of all of reality, all past, present and future as a single block of control. And consciousness is a necessary part of that whole universal control. There is a huge difference between actions done in consciousness and unconscious actions. Consciousness itself is control. True control from a personal and individual perspective is through consciousness. And true nonduality - or integral nonduality as I call it - is what Sadhguru said about building a bridge between the external world, the physical body, the mental body and Source. And to include consciousness as a part of that bridge, not as something separate from manifested reality because that would be separation, duality. So what happens is that with correct spiritual practice consciousness itself becomes personal control. And the pleasure is then in being that control. This is the opposite of depersonalization disorder where the death drive remains and there is separation between a passive observer and what is happening. It may even be that many nonduality teachings are false and lead to depersonalization disorder. Every time a spiritual teacher says that you are not this or that, that's duality! That's false teaching.

ACIM says that the ego mistakes control for sanity. I'm investigating if the ego's desire for control is a result of the death drive. My idea is that the death drive causes non-specific fear which the mind uses as fuel to produce specific fears. And it does so by protecting itself. And all that protection becomes a part of the ego armor. This results in a constant need for the ego to control the future. And it's insanity as ACIM implies because the death drive fueling this whole process is a misperception of reality. That's my theory because my model says that the future is already determined so all forms of separate control are unnecessary. The solution to solving the ego mistake is a recontextualization at the most fundamental level which means at the level of the death drive. Since the fear produced by the death drive is non-specific it is interpreted by the mind and the emotions as confusion. This matches what ACIM says, that the ego is totally confused about everything. In order to test if the hypothesis is true it has to be implemented in one's actual everyday life. In practice it means letting go of control of the future. And life should improve a lot by letting go of control. Even the desire for control will dissolve and melt away if the hypothesis is correct. Personally I will use mindfulness to observe my own tendency of control and avoid following those thoughts and feelings of control.

Disney has some nasty stuff such as sex subliminals in movies for children, but they also have content towards spiritual awakening it seems to me. Here is remix of a song from the movie Moana which I think of as a metaphor for going from third density in the Law of One (Moana living on the island) and going into fourth density (Moana escaping the island).

I came to realize that I have already worked on my death drive. A lot! Not consciously, but there must be some deep subconscious change that has happened in me. The idea of an eternal life could previously evoke great fear in me, like a really ghastly horror feeling. Not anymore! For example when I now think of a lifespan of say a trillion years, I think: excellent! And an infinite number of birthdays to celebrate, that's great. And all of that without being ABLE to physically die nor having free will to do anything about my situation. Those kinds of ideas would have totally freaked me out in the past.

Aha! I noticed a false uncertainty that we have. People often say that they don't know what will happen when they die. At face value and at first that might seem like a logical statement. But it's a false uncertainty! Why? Because it's based on the belief of certain physical death. And that belief is hardly ever questioned, at least not publicly. So it's a false uncertainty because the premise is false. The premise is that physical death is inevitable and how do we know that? ACIM says that the ego is totally confused about everything. And it seems to me now that the root of this confusion is the death drive which is the belief in inevitable physical death. That belief causes a chronic fear on a subconscious level which fuels the confusion of the ego. The correct approach, or at least more openminded approach, is to be uncertain about the death drive itself.

I was thinking that maybe I have exaggerated the death drive issue, but I listened to Paul Hedderman's new video and they talk about death and dying. It's a huge topic! So I think I'm onto something by examining the validity of the death drive itself. Notice that the people in this video take physical death totally for granted. That's actually a closeminded perspective. Especially today with transhumanism on the rise. And they are probably very experienced spiritually! So it's an immense subject this death business and deeply ingrained in the subconscious as a firm belief of inevitable physical death.

Leo has a new video that might be useful for young people, and for all people actually. Alas, I suspect it's about a "caterpillar" life (third density), but I will check it out to see if it contains some "butterfly" (fourth density) information.

I now can't seriously understand why people accept living an extremely short lifespan of say 80 years with aging and dying as an end goal. Accepting such miserable life moronic! ACIM points this out. Even if people are sincere about accepting such pathetic life on a conscious level I suspect that their subconscious is telling them something else. Our current way of living as humanity is incredibly hypocritical I have come to realize. What to do about it? My new strategy is to move away more and more from the animalistic crap that we have been indoctrinated with by society. The whole charade of so-called "modern" society is a sad display of misery and dishonesty. That's probably why people are so angry and violent, at least emotionally and mentally violent. The death drive is driving us insane!

I have a new idea about "die before you die". It says in the Bible that the body of flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God. So what needs to happen is that the body of flesh dies before it dies! Meaning being transformed from a third density body to a fourth density body before it dies a physical death. That's a really extreme perspective, yet I will take it as a serious strategy to see what happens. Usually we are taught to be following the "rules" of the "caterpillar" society. Screw that! I'm aiming for a butterfly transformation of society.

I was watching David Icke being interviewed on London Real now and all their YouTube streams stopped working. I don't know if it's censorship but I noticed that David Icke's YouTube channel is now gone! Q posted about how Adam Schiff has ordered YouTube and others to censor conspiracy theories etc, so he is to blame probably. Absolutely incredible. We need a decentralized internet! Anyway, David Icke said that the coronavirus doesn't exist. I was thinking, holy smoke, if that becomes a mainstream scandal it will make Spygate look like a Sunday picnic. But I doubt that the coronavirus crisis will become a scandal, at least in the short term. Too risky, so the establishment will work massively to prevent that probably.

I now have a simple explanation for evolution. Manifested reality takes the form of larger and larger holons. A holon is a whole that at the same time is a part. Examples of holons are atoms being parts of molecules being parts of cells being parts of multicellular organisms. In my model larger holons are formed when the complexity reaches a high enough level. So there are sudden leaps into higher orders of being. And Gaia consciousness is the leap into our whole planet as a holon. This will according to my model happen as a sudden leap. Or has already happened! Each individual person will experience the leap at different moments in time. So some people may already have reached a level of development where that leap happens.

One seemingly scary potential in my model is that consciousness is an on/off state. What happens if the body dies and consciousness goes off forever? In my model the potential for consciousness is activated when the level of complexity is high enough. And we can think of the Word of God as complexity. And the manifestation of the Word of God is an ever increase of complexity. And since complexity cannot go backwards, meaning be reduced, and since we have consciousness activated now, the potential for our consciousness will remain forever in the future. It's true in my model that when we are in deep dreamless sleep our consciousness is in an off state, but the potential for consciousness always remains.

Tony Parsons is the most hardcore nonduality teacher I have found so far. I think his teaching is good as a foundation. For example he says in this new video that "awareness" and "awareness of" that's duality. My model has nonduality only for the umanifested reality and awareness is a result of a feedback loop between the unmanifested and the manifested reality. I will listen to some more of his presentation to see if what he talks about is the same as what I mean by the unmanifested. What I want to add to his teaching is that manifested reality evolves into higher levels of wholeness. Frustratingly enough I haven't been able to include that idea into my model in a clear way yet.

How can causality be explained from a nonduality perspective? With my model that's easy! The Word of God is an infinite string of information which can be represented by a single real number. Manifested reality is a result of that string unfolding in the present moment. As an illustration, take the number Pi = 3.14159265... and then examine what is the cause of say the 7th decimal. The cause of that decimal is the whole number Pi itself! So causality from a nondual perspective is a result of all of reality as a single whole. But who caused the Word of God? The answer is: nobody! How? Take the set R of all real numbers and simply pick one number representing the Word of God. That number just timelessly IS. Or as God said in the Bible, something like: "I am that I am." From dark to LIGHT.

Sadhguru talked about building a bridge between the external world to the physical body to the mental body and into the Source. That's what I call integral nonduality! The usual nondual teachings often lack the integral aspect and many teachers say things like: you are not your body. Roger Castillo said that those kinds of teachings are useful but he also like Sadhguru pointed out that there needs to be an integration into the physical world. If we say that we are not the body, then that's actually a duality separation. Sadguru even said that when we include our loved ones that's still separation and the same when we include our community and even when we include the whole country. Then what about QAnon who often writes about patriotism and especially with a focus on America? My impression is that Q is pointing to a bigger picture and includes patriotism worldwide. So in my opinion Q is including all of humanity in Where We Go One We Go All (WWG1WGA).

ACIM says that the holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in life. That sounds abstract. Sadhguru has this new video which to me sounds like a more concrete explanation of the holy instant which I found useful:

Ouch. Think of the burden of what ACIM calls special relationships. Let's say that a person has five loved ones. If the person is in ego consciousness he or she has an incredibly strong attachment to those special relationships. The holy relationship in ACIM is shared between everybody. Imagine if the holy relationship would be made of all the special relationships billions of people on the planet have. That's would be ridiculously burdensome, haha. A true horror. So I think that we need to detach ourselves from our special relationships because they are completely incompatible with the holy relationship.

And here is the latest Q post: Exactly. Trump can't directly reveal the truth but he did say early on that the coronavirus crisis is a hoax! And he has also made some - I believe on purpose - outrageous comments about COVID-19 such as injecting disinfectants into people. And I think Q is referring to something much bigger than just some conspiracy by the Democrats. "This is about regaining POWER." Q wrote. Remember that Q earlier posted that banks control governments. That's the big control capstone. And Trump has also made this statement:

Great! Q has a new post (4044) with a Spygate poster and a link to this Trump tweet from 6 hours ago: That's a bold statement by Trump. We will see if there will be a Spygate scandal. Trump wrote "Lets see how it ends". If it ends, then it seems to me that Trump is implying that the Spygate scandal will begin. I hope the Durham report will be released already this month or latest in June.

One additional thing Shunyamurti said in the satsang was about how the mind is slow when we need to think. Good point! I have even noticed myself that when I have to think of strategies or come up with some response based on memories, that's a slow process. I can imagine that when the mind transcends thinking it will become lighting fast. It must be beyond intuition and spontaneous action. Because in intuition there is still a fairly slow processing of the thinking mind, and spontaneous action is a separation from the control of the totality. What Shunya was talking about must be more fundamental than that. It's about recognizing the total control and be "perfect as the Father in heaven is perfect" as Jesus said. Maybe thinking is like training wheels for the mind, or like crawling instead of walking. And in ego consciousness we believe that crawling around with the training wheels of thinking all the time is the only way to live, haha. And we seldom question our situation since everybody around us are also crawling around with training wheels.

Shunyamurti has this new video: I have listened to about half of the satsang and what he talks about seems to me to be fourth density and a new earth! Shunya is talking about a huge change of reality. My idea of the new earth is that in the beginning it will be very much the same as today. But yeah, further into the future it will be enormously different than it is today. And also, Shunya may be talking about an inner shift which will be an entirely new level of consciousness. I think of these labels as being the same: fourth density, fifth dimension, new earth, the Great Awakening, age of Aquarius, Satya Yuga and so on as describing the same evolutionary leap. I will listen to the rest of the satsang to see if he describes this shift of biblical proportions (or rather, biblical shift literally) in more detail.

Another way of looking at free will is in relation to what they said in one of the Star Wars movies: "There's always a bigger fish" and I looked it up and it's an English proverb. Think of the universe, or multiverse in my model, as the biggest fish. That's infinite control power! That's the balance of the Force. It doesn't matter how big of a service-to-others Jedi master we become or how powerful service-to-self Sith lord. There is always a larger control going on. And dropping of individual free will happens naturally as a consequence of a recognition of that total control power.

Nonduality teacher Roger Castillo said that the feeling of free will is important but that there is no actual free will. That's a good point from an integral perspective where the ego is transcended and included. ACIM says: That's similar to what Castillo said, that there is free will in a sense. ACIM says that choice is meaningless. J. Krishnamurti said that choice is confusion. Those are good points too. So how to integrate non-doership and a sense of free will? One approach that I'm experimenting with is to experience prediction of the future as a sense instead of as a control and choice mechanism as in ordinary ego consciousness. This means I can think of possible future outcomes without taking it as definite plans or choices. It also means that I can instantly change my perception of the future based on new circumstances.

Will there be chaos in the world after the pandemic? No, I believe that the world will stabilize! With secure energy production, stable e-money, removal of corruption, increased automation and universal basic income together with exponential improvement of price/performance of products and services, meaning things will get dirt cheap. This will enable humanity to step up a notch on Maslow's hierarchy of needs from mere survival to self-actualization. So the material situation will improve a lot for all of humanity. Advanced technologies are only expensive when they are new and with poor capacity. As the technology matures and now is becoming digital (even physical products), everybody will afford an abundant material life. But there is also spiritual progress. And even the possibility to move into fourth density I believe. I'm interested in improving my physical body through spirituality. Improvements with material transhumanist means such as biotech and nanotech are only plan B for me. The Great Awakening is both material and spiritual I think. That's my medium term view. In the coming years there can be a bit chaotic still but under control, and in 2030 the situation will become more stable.

Natural gas production has been ramping up globally during the last years. And natural gas can be converted to fuel: And there are plenty of natural gas reserves globally it seems. So I think there will be enough natural gas and oil production combined for many years to come. That's good and I will do some research to see if switching more into natural gas has anything to do with the coronavirus crisis.