Gili Trawangan

@cetus56is this in Laos? If it is I've been there

It certainly fits the description. No time, no space, no person, not even consciousness. In deep sleep, we are prior to all concepts and beliefs, we're even prior to awareness. Am I missing something here? P. D. Sorry if this has been discussed before, I ran a search but couldn't find anything.

@Jed Vassallo Yup

@Inliytened1 What do you mean by simultaneously?

@Leo Gura Yeah I see how my question was poorly phrased. Actually the understanding occurred a few days ago beyond the shadow of a doubt, I know what I am now, but the mind is tricky and used to knowing stuff in the realm of concepts. So paradoxically there is also confusion sometimes Let me take the opportunity to thank you man, the realization wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you! @Truth Addict Yeah you're right

@winterknight I see what you're saying I'm starting to get you, man! Thanks for all the great pointers.

@Emerald I find myself in the predicament of knowing that I am underdeveloped in this area, that is, I usually don't value relationships apart from sex. And I'm not even that young, which is worrisome. I would like to mature and develop but was wondering if you have any advice on a more practical level. What can I do to integrate my feminine side and the heart?

Until you are awake, God is a belief or a hypothesis. It makes absolutely no sense no matter how you look at it.

Has it occurred to you that Leo is enjoying life? What stupidity, to suggest suicide just because one realizes their true nature...

Lol, you can do whatever you want, no one is discouraging anything.

You don't need suffering to realize God, drop that belief.

I was an atheist until about a year ago. There had always been depression here and there, and always the looking for answers out "in the world". Having all my desires fulfilled and not being happy led me to question that. And about a year ago there was deep suffering. Then, as I tried to find the reasons for such suffering, I came across Leo's videos. As an atheist, it was the only spiritual teaching that would have resonated with me at that point. He really knows how to explain things from a rationalist perspective. The rest of the search was intuition and desire for truth. The biggest challenge right now is to integrate this knowing. What to do once you know the truth? I guess the ego is disappointed and sort of lonely...

@Nahm That's a good point Right now there is the experience of rejecting the truth, or better yet trying not to face it head on just yet. I guess it's something that needs to happen and be played out. A lot of different emotions coming up and no desire whatsoever to meditate or control any of it. @Preetom The game over part is what's freaking me out right now. There's a lot of energy inside and I can feel the wanting to do something. Even though there is nothing to do...

I took 100ug. I am ALL OF REALITY. As the questions about reality are asked “Who am I?”, “What is reality?”, I am THAT. I am the guy asking the questions, the questions themselves and everything around them, all the beliefs in the questions and in their validity and concept, I am all of it. The entirety of it. Nothing is hidden. It is direct, nothing could be more direct. There are no strings, no wires, no mechanics, it’s just happening, unfolding, and I am THAT. I am REALITY beginning to imagine itself to be somewhere. I am REALITY imagining itself to be a man, with a certain history, living in a foreign country which is located on a planet in the middle of a solar system, somewhere in the universe. I am REALITY asking myself through this person’s mouth if there is anything else that I have not discovered. I am REALITY noticing that soon enough the experience will seem much different than it is now and how that makes ABSOLUTELY no difference. I am REALITY beginning to wonder if it can accept this level of responsibility. I can CREATE anything I want. I am REALITY forgetting that it is all of reality and beginning to doubt whether or not what was experienced could be called “real”. I am REALITY beginning to feel like it is a bunch of separate things, from the perspective of this guy who is now telling himself that he can’t be God. I am REALITY slowly deciding to come back into this separate self and starting to ask questions again. I am REALITY realizing the absurdity of all questions and how the snake eats its own tail.

@Nahm Nor one unattractive man Yes I know, this was written from a very egoic state of mind, which I am trying to transcend

What does one do with this understanding? I'm mesmerized...

Do you Want it to be more complicated than that? Then it will be

You Decide.

Ah finally, some perspective. Everybody is playing the game, men and women. Men want someone who is attractive to them, women want someone who is attractive to them. In a certain sense, men even have an advantage: they get to improve their level of attractiveness just by changing their behavior. Women have other advantages, but when they are not physically attractive they struggle just as much as some of the people posting on this thread.

I used to think that I wanted to be very social and charismatic, and had a taste of it many years ago during my university years. I worked on it deliberately and got the results. It was fun, no doubt. But nowadays it's not worth the effort for me personally. But for you, if social mastery is what you want, then there's your answer, just work on it even if you don't feel like it. Social skills are just like any other skill, you have to work on it to get good at it. Of course for some people that skill comes more easily than for others, but anybody can get good at it. It's like going to the gym, if you stop going for a while you lose some of the strength you'd gained before, that's why you lose social skills the less you socialize. It's a muscle. I go to the gym twice a week because I want to be healthy and in good shape. But every single time I go I have to push myself to do it, I have to remind myself of the goal. That's what you should do with socializing, remember your goal and push yourself.

I'm going to take 100ug of LSD tomorrow. It's my first time taking LSD, do you have any tips? My main intention is to find out What I am. Should I meditate beforehand? During? Self-inquire during? Any advice will be much appreciated.

@ajasatya I don't want to speak for the OP, but after a habit is strengthened, to become more social takes work. And work takes motivation. To enjoy the company of others one must first put himself in the position of being able to meet others in a social gathering. And to go to social gatherings one must want to do it, otherwise it doesn't happen in the first place. This is the situation I find myself in at the moment... no real desire to meet others, but a nagging sensation that I might miss out on it if the situation continues as is. I suspect that @Knock feels the same way?

Geez, I was just thinking about this same thing today. It dawned on me today, I hadn't been thinking about it at all before! Synchronicity, haha I can't help you, I have the EXACT same concern. I keep wondering if connection with others is really a deep need and something to aspire to, or if connection with the universe (not necessarily through people) is enough. Most of the time I tell myself that this is a phase and that the desire to connect will eventually come, but it might be self-deception, because the more time one spends alone the more comfortable it becomes.

Have you mapped out your childhood traumatic events? Find out where the fear of abandonment comes from. You need to understand it and grieve, which means going into the memories and feeling those feelings all over again and connecting with your child-self. Otherwise these blockages are not released and stay in the body (unconsciously). Well done on all the work you've described, you're doing great.

Meditation, dude.