Gili Trawangan

No. Forget about it.

@mandyjw I've had an awakening about a month ago, and the ego is very confused now. Let me call it 'I' for simplification I've noticed that my perspective changes all the time, and there's a sense of groundlessness, which sometimes is viewed through the filter of "oh this is so freeing" and sometimes through the filter of "I have no idea what to do with life now". There's no vision for what to do with life. There's no pull towards achievement. Life is right now very comfortable, but the habit has always been to strive, to have goals and work towards them. What to do without goals? And, even if I do come up with some goals, it doesn't feel like I can stick with them, the ego is a hell of a shapeshifter, what it finds important today it finds meaningless tomorrow... And this absense of goals tends to result in some destructive habits and mind patterns from the past. I don't know, I hope this makes sense... I'm 37 by the way, and a year ago I was watching Leo's videos for the first time. I was an atheist and a materialist, suffering and looking for answers. It's been a hell of a ride since then. I don't want to sound like I'm in a bad place, not at all. It's just this sense of groundlessness that came from knowing what I am.

@Freakyboo That's all well and good, but if you're just starting out with meditation and you just let go, all you will get is monkey mind. The mind needs to be trained before it can be let go of.

If you want to improve your concentration, forget about relaxation for the time being. Practice again and again until you can concentrate effortlessly. This can take quite some time. Relaxing your attention will come after having acquired good concentration skills.

My two cents: drop all concepts, including thought and insight. Don't sit with the goal of getting insights, that's just perpetuating the ego. Just sit, no goals, there's nothing to do. Let go.

Wonderful, I'd love to get some personalized guidance from you

Very interesting.

I see a world of hurt coming your way. Also, I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

I'd say go for it. Just surrender to the experience.

Congrats, it sounds wonderful

@FoxFoxFox I do have an open mind, in fact I'm pretty sure that there's plenty yet to realize.

@Keyhole I can understand that, really. There was definitely a sense of peace and that everything is and always was ok. And I still feel that most of the time. After all, nothing can harm us, there is no reason to be afraid. But I feel like this is already an interpretation of what Is. A very subtle one. What is cannot really be described, even by love. That's my understanding. I can easily accept others' descriptions though, when it comes to language nothing is set in stone.

@Truthority I have, and there was an awakening. And love was not the word to describe it, there were no words. It was beyond words and concepts and emotions. Beyond ALL concepts, including love. Silence. Nothing.

I've been struggling with the word Love as a descriptor of reality as well, maybe because it's a loaded concept that was never prevalent in "my life". See, I still think of love as an emotion. Yet everyone here says that it's not that. Is it that Everything is One? Ok, I'm aware of that, and yet emotions of love are not pouring out of me all the time. In my understanding, love is a concept inside of the unspeakable. Is it the best possible concept? Maybe, I don't see it that way at the moment. But don't just dismiss anyone who, like me, is not aware of love as a fundamental aspect of the Absolute.

There's no destiny involved. When you're having a dream, is the end of the dream pre-determined? No, the dream is being spontaneously manifested at every moment. Is your dream character making choices? Seemingly. Does the dream character really exist though? No, it's all in your mind. Your mind is manifesting the dream effortlessly. So it is with reality. If you decide to identify with the body-mind, yes you are making choices. You can choose to take that perspective, nobody is stopping you. Or you can see that it's all 'happening' in God's (or Consciousness') mind. Everything in the dream is you, there is no person there to make choices. This is a real trip, but I've realized that I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not even alive I've never been born, nobody has.

@Beginner Mind

I feel like at some point we have to get over this "what's the point" business. Just say whatever you WANT to say. And if you don't want to say anything, don't. I really think it's that simple.

We are creating a new reality every second. Literally. There is no consistency to any experience or perspective. There is no person! Accepting this is the beginning of detachment. And even then there will be moments of doubt, sadness, melancholy, whatever.. the world will seem bleak. Until it doesn't. A ray of sunshine appears or whatever and you realize "oh... there's nowhere to go, nothing to become... and that's fine". And then the doubt returns and the cycle goes on. Realize that it isn't you! You are all of it! Every emotion, every scenery, every thought, every single thing ever experienced. And at the same time none of it. You can rest in that knowing.

I also don't understand how one could possibly know this. But hey, at least keep an open mind

I didn't say it was inferior, I said it's indirect. Of course, to each his own.

True, that's why self-inquiry is referred to as the direct path. Purification first being the indirect path.

I went to a 10-day Vipassana retreat. All I got from it was a boost in concentration ability. That's no small thing, but it's not what gets you enlightenment. You have to engage in self-inquiry, and by this I don't mean asking "who am I?“. I mean relaxing attention entirely so that awareness abides in itself. At a certain point, if you're lucky and persistent, the I thought will fall and you'll realize something very special.

My two cents: you have to understand that if people judge you that is THEIR problem. But if you let that judgment get to you then it becomes YOUR problem. See how this works? I'd say be unapologetic about your life.

Ok, I didn't know that.

That was Portugal.