Gili Trawangan

LOL You're clearly enjoying messing around with him

Because they come from scientific research. Google it and you'll find it, there's plenty of data, it's well established.

My two cents: no need to apologize or ever contact him again. Let it go, it sounds like whatever you once had is now inexorably broken. You've said your goodbyes, and sometimes goodbyes are bitter and that's ok too. Start getting over him and move on with your life. Good luck.

@Synchronicity You may be experiencing infinity all the time, but you're also an ego like us, and a very young guy on top of that. It's only natural to make mistakes, you are no more God than anybody else. Give yourself a break, learn from your mistakes and accept that you still have much to learn, just stay humble in that way. NO ONE is unworthy of whatever gifts they are given. Gratitude is a great thing to practice, this alone has been life-changing for me. Good luck man.

Start with women who don't intimidate you as much. Approach! Tell yourself that this is a battle and the price of defeat is your manhood. JUST DO IT! Even if it the interaction doesn't go well, you will see that you will GAIN confidence. With every approach you will have to combat fear, but when you go through it you will have built more confidence. After enough approaches in a day (magic number could be from 5-7), you will enter a flow state where fear will simply vanish. THEN go for the beautiful girls who intimidate you. This advice is based on direct experience. Believe me, that fear can be overcome, but the way is to PUSH THROUGH NO MATTER WHAT.

@Knock I agree with most of what you say, but notice how that is entirely in alignment with what the red pill preaches. They say to men: continuously self-improve, know that you will always have the burden of performance and under no circumstances expect unconditional love from your wife because you will never get it. You have to be on top of your game most of the time (there is a bit of leeway, it's not that you are immediately discarded). Completely disagree with this. Maybe by that point it's loveless from the woman's point of view, but when that divorce comes men are usually dumbfounded that the woman they chose to have a life with has 'suddenly' (for them) decided to leave. Also, completely disagree with this But I do agree with this and I think it's good advice. The way, as I see it, is finding happiness within, connection to Reality and the universe. And expecting nothing from others, while at the same time being able to give love and finding connection. No relationship is ever secure, in fact nothing is ever secure, so...

@Leo Gura I got it But because I'm still curious I took the opportunity to ask for more serious answers. And I got one from @Knock , which I will respond to next.

I agree with this idea. A couple of days ago I watched a movie and had a completely transcendent experience, connecting with Love and the universe. It would be nice to have a place for sharing this type of thing.

@Leo Gura That would probably help But the red pill is very much a fringe movement (plus they are against marriage), so my question stands, and I'm genuinely curious about the reasons. Why do women initiate most divorces? I thought some female users would take up the opportunity to set things straight, but only @flume came up with another perspective, a very interesting one which nevertheless doesn't answer the question. The red pill attempts to answer my question, and explains it through evolutionary psychology. I wish I could say that they don't have a point, but what's the alternative? There is one, which is to stop trying to generalize and understand that there are all kinds of people and exceptions to every rule. This is my current perspective.. but I know that it's a limited one, so it's something that I haven't figured out. In the meantime, no marriage for me

That's when spirituality becomes religion. Just don't confuse the two, they are very different.

I see a huge difference. With spirituality, you are undertaking an investigation into the nature of reality and yourself. With religion, you are believing what others have supposedly discovered without questioning it, or merely questioning it on an intellectual level. The level of understanding you get from one compared to the other is different by orders of magnitude.

Great video, inspiring.

@flume That was a very interesting perspective, thanks for sharing.

The confusion here is talking about 'other people', implying that I, a person, exist while others do not. When one says that other people do not exist, and believes himself to exist as a human, that indeed is solipsism and incorrect either from an Absolute perspective or a relative one. What they fail to state is that there are no people at all. Including the so called person who is talking about other people. There is only consciousness. Either you take that perspective (which requires enlightenment), or you identify yourself as a person, in which case other people must exist. If you're stuck between perspectives you fall under the worst of delusions, solipsism. Get the distinction right once and for all.

My first mystical experience was also effortless, there was full surrender for some reason. I made the mistake of thinking I was over the fear of death. Nothing could be further from the truth, the last time I went through ego death there was a lot of suffering and resistance. Some of the worst suffering I've ever experienced. You may be fooling yourself if you think you don't fear it. And then again maybe not, who knows..

You are basically agreeing with red pill then, that's exactly what they say. That a man can never "put his sword down" and expect his loved one to be loyal to him, he will always have the burden of performance. If he does not perform up to standard, he will be abandoned and left for another man who will. That's red pill in a nutshell. I will wait for a woman's perspective on this, hoping it'll be different...

@Knock Although I agree that it is toxic and low-consciousness, there is something about the red pill claims that still gives me pause.. I'll leave you the following data and honestly ask for your thoughts on the reasons for it: 70% of divorces are initiated by women. It's not possible for this to be a coincidence, with large enough numbers the percentage should be closer to 50%. I ask in good faith: why?

Straight to the point: once you let things go sexual, it will be very hard for a man to accept taking that off the table. This includes sexual talk. There's a Chris Rock bit that talks about it, funny and true at the same time

I tried the first link, so accurate! Freakish

@Etherial Cat Virtually every time a guy strikes up a conversation with you he's "doing pickup". Pickup has existed forever, it is a man's role to be the initiator and the one who progresses the seduction. Whether or not he was reading books about it is another story, but you should probably trust yourself to be able to figure out over time if he's worth it or not. Plus, guys who have done pickup can grow out of it and be looking for someone to connect with. Ask questions, figure the guy out, it won't be hard to tell whether or not he's for real.

I feel like the interviewer wasn't getting any of it at all nice share

LOL

Notice how this: completely contradicts this: If you want a girl who wants you for what you authentically are, then you don't need the help of any pickup guru, you just need to be who you are. Looking for pickup strategies to snag one of these girls completely contradicts what you say you're after. What will you "authentically" tell her once you've seduced her? 'Yeah I used strategy A because I pegged you for the hippie type.' Just go to where the girls you want are, and establish contact. The rest should take care of itself.

Much love!

I LOVE this!