Gili Trawangan

Cool app! I've just tried it and it seems really nice.

@Strangeloop Thanks, that's very interesting, will try for sure. Actually, it reminds me of a technique I tried in the past called EFT (I think it stands for Emotional Freedom Technique), which consists of tapping with your fingers on chakra points of the body while talking to yourself and going over your past traumas. I had some good results with it as well, it's good to be reminded... @Lento I appreciate the tip, but don't really see how that would work. If you're talking about seeing through the illusion of ego, I'm able to do that but it doesn't change core beliefs automatically, though I know that many spiritual teachers claim that it does. I think they're wrong, actually, from my own experience.

@28 cm unbuffed Yeah, there must be stuff stuck in the body that needs to be released, I just don't know how to do that. I'm not sure if I understood the connection with life purpose. That's not the angle I was approaching this from, some core beliefs I just want to get rid of because they seem unhealthy and they piss me off, they're not really connected to life purpose, not in a way that I can see.

@kira Thanks, I guess I could try visualization, but how does that work practically? Do I shut my eyes and imagine myself being sociable in different situations? Do I do this every day for a few minutes? As for positive affirmations, it's something that doesn't quite resonate with me, for some reason.

I did a meditation retreat in Thailand, here: https://www.suanmokkh-idh.org/index.html It was great, and they did have foreign volunteers working there, they have retreats every month.

Nope. You shouldn't need a girlfriend. Can you see the difference?

That's an obvious no, and you know it.

This sort of thing comes up once in a while here. What you have to understand is that if she cheats on her boyfriend to be with you, there is a very good chance that she will do the same to you in the future. It would be another story if she decided on her own volition to leave her boyfriend before anything happens with you. Once a branch swinger, always a branch swinger, girls like that cannot be trusted.

Psychedelics can help with that, because, unlike with meditation, you don't get the choice of aborting the experience.

Oh boy, you have much to learn about girls and what they find attractive... read about it, it has been thoroughly explained many times.

Fake it 'til you make it.

You missed an easy opportunity to turn things sexual when she was talking about her boobs. You even had a boner, if you had been congruent you would have either: 1. playfully told her that she was arousing you. Not in a creepy way, just hold eye contact, tell her and then if you sense too much tension you laugh it off and release it; then you go back to regular conversation, wait a bit and escalate further; OR 2. In a bolder move, when you get aroused you surprise her and go with your feelings (and boner ) and actually start touching her sexually, or lean into her and whisper something sexual into her ear. Option 2 may be too much though, and only works in certain situations plus you need to have rock solid confidence, so option 1 was the safest and best way. It would have demonstrated to her that you see her in a sexual way and are attracted to her, without any kind of neediness. She would immediately start thinking of you in that way as well, and either decide to go with it or reject it. Either way, a win.

@Nak Khid Any word might be misleading to others. Everything or the Universe are words that fail to include CONSCIOUSNESS. God is a better word because it is CONSCIOUS (along with other reasons).

It's over. Don't settle for less than you deserve, lying repeatedly should be an immediate deal breaker. I would be running for the hills. No friends no nothing, goodbye.

I don't understand how everyone here just assumed that he is bad for her. You yourself admit that he SEEMS unconscious. Yet she says he's the only one. Could it be that she is right and you are wrong? The example you give is jealousy. A lot of people are jealous, it's not an easy emotion to get rid of. Maybe your friend is just fine and you should just let it be.

Actually, I've never been able to approach a woman at the gym either. There's something to it, it's about the only place where I'm completely useless. If you've done it in the past, then you know that, just like anything else, it is a muscle. Stop using it and it gets weaker until it atrophies. Solution? Slowly get back on the horse, make it a goal to approach one woman. Just one. Gather all the strength you can muster and do that. After that you try again and it's less painful.. and so on and so forth, you know where this is going. You'll be dating girls in no time. There's no reason not to go for it.

Please stop feeding the troll, there's a recent proliferation of them on the forum and it helps no one.

Thanks a lot for sharing!

Great!

This is discussed here often. Being is prior to meaning. You say so yourself, you are labeling feelings as meaningless, which is adding another layer on top of them. Drop that label. Meaning is a concept, it's not important unless you make it important. There is experience and it's magic. This is precisely to be FELT, not rationalized into some concept like meaning.

LOL You're clearly enjoying messing around with him

Because they come from scientific research. Google it and you'll find it, there's plenty of data, it's well established.

My two cents: no need to apologize or ever contact him again. Let it go, it sounds like whatever you once had is now inexorably broken. You've said your goodbyes, and sometimes goodbyes are bitter and that's ok too. Start getting over him and move on with your life. Good luck.

@Synchronicity You may be experiencing infinity all the time, but you're also an ego like us, and a very young guy on top of that. It's only natural to make mistakes, you are no more God than anybody else. Give yourself a break, learn from your mistakes and accept that you still have much to learn, just stay humble in that way. NO ONE is unworthy of whatever gifts they are given. Gratitude is a great thing to practice, this alone has been life-changing for me. Good luck man.

Start with women who don't intimidate you as much. Approach! Tell yourself that this is a battle and the price of defeat is your manhood. JUST DO IT! Even if it the interaction doesn't go well, you will see that you will GAIN confidence. With every approach you will have to combat fear, but when you go through it you will have built more confidence. After enough approaches in a day (magic number could be from 5-7), you will enter a flow state where fear will simply vanish. THEN go for the beautiful girls who intimidate you. This advice is based on direct experience. Believe me, that fear can be overcome, but the way is to PUSH THROUGH NO MATTER WHAT.