Gili Trawangan

This is all coming from your mind. Love is not something you look for and find, it's what's left when you surrender and let go of thoughts, such as the thought of meaninglessness, or the guilt of not being as passionate as you used to be. More practically, if you can't let go of thoughts, start expressing and exploring gratitude. It's a game changer, I'm telling you. What can you find in your experience that you're grateful for? Both big and small things. Are you healthy? You have a sister who loves you and wants to hang out? That sounds like stuff to be grateful for. Change your mindset, and when you're ready let go of the mind altogether.

Love it! Thanks for the share.

Coffee will be the last addiction I ever let go of. It's too good, it's a source of tremendous pleasure. And yes, sometimes it creates restlessness as well, but hey, karma.

@Everyday Thanks a lot, I appreciate the sentiment. Luckily it's nothing serious.

You're trying to generalize and create a rule in your mind and there are no rules. Each path is utterly unique. Some people change their views on relationships, some don't. Men don't seem dickish, a particular man is seeming dickish to you. It says nothing about men or about self-actualization or about awakening. Deconstruct all these beliefs, see how they are operating in your mind but have no actuality to them aside from the thoughts in the present moment.

Personality is a word. There is no personality.

Let everything go.

This.

A few days ago the American girl I hooked up with in Phu Quoc asked me about gonorrhea. Turns out she has it. I had a health check at the hospital last week and had blood in my urine, but everything else was normal. I went to the hospital and asked to get checked again and the doctor, after telling me that they would test me for everything (including STDs), only tested for common bacteria and it came out normal. What a moron. Today I went to a clinic and tested for STDs and I have gonorrhea. It's the second STD within a three-month period, I had sex without a condom ONCE a few months ago and got chlamydia. Now I'm clean for chlamydia and HIV but have gonorrhea. Started treatment today with a quite painful injection. Holy shit, Vietnam is no joke, even wearing condoms the whole time I get sexually transmitted diseases. So I had to text two different girls today telling them that they need to get tested, besides the American girl. One reacted well, the other one not so much. My ego was trying to get me out of telling the truth, but they were just thoughts, I knew that this had to be done. I'll probably never see them again, and I quite like them. So now, no sex for a week until I get clean. And hopefully I can get clean of guilt as well, there is some of it here, even though I see how I couldn't have done things differently. There was no ill will, but there is still a bad feeling here. And, not gonna lie, relief that it's not HIV and that it's something easily treatable.

On Valentine's Day I went to a speed dating event at some coffee shop. I deliberately set out to not have any expectations as to what would happen. Just went to see what was up. Dressed better than usual for Saigon standards, and I don't have much memory of going there, but I must have been very present, because the actual event was something to be acknowledged. There were mostly Vietnamese women and Western men. I immediately noticed a very attractive girl, was drawn to her. The first conversation, with another girl, was awkward, I was still in my head. Resisting the whole set up, it all seemed so silly and unnatural. I have no memory of the second and third conversations, but something must have happened in the meantime. I completely let go. There was no ego left, it was just happening, complete authenticity. I was energized, cheeky, having loads of fun, and by the time I got to the girl I was most attracted to I was completely uninhibited. I told her to skip the small talk and come up with an interesting topic and she went into polyamory. I was utterly honest about I wouldn't want to have a polyamorous relationship, and that's why I'm single. For me, it's either single, where I can meet as many women as I want, or monogamous. The next girl in line was her friend, and she introduced the topic of BDSM. Now I was sure these girls were kinky. I made it sexual fast, but not in a crass way. Then I went through a few more conversations in the same uninhibited manner. One told me I was "special" and pretty much all were attracted. It was just an incredible energy coming out of me. When I went to the bathroom there was a cute blonde, probably from Europe, I just exchanged a few words with her and later she wouldn't stop staring at me. It's like I had a magnet, it was incredible to observe. When it was over, we were supposed to pick two girls and then we would see if there was a match. I picked the two kinky girls, and they picked me. After the event, people were just hanging out, I hung out with both girls and then we all went out for some food. By then we all knew that we had picked each other. For a moment there, I thought I would bring both girls home, and invited them both. But the less attractive one wanted to go home. I was left with the hot girl that I had wanted from the beginning of the event and took her home. Effortlessly so. There was no resistance on her part and no hesitation on mine. Afterwards she told me how every other guy at the event had been so boring, asking the same questions over and over again. And there were some handsome guys there, probably more physically attractive than me. But they were trying, and I wasn't. My ego simply wasn't there.

That's true for any concept/word. I thought you were referring to Love in particular. I still don't see any reason why a teacher would want to teach truth using a bunch of concepts but leave out Love. I agree with most of what you said though.

There is a very good video by Teal Swan on healing trauma. Simple meditation might not be effective enough... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA Not sure if I posted the video on right. But do those exercises, they make a difference. Just my two cents...

Currently going through a bit of that too. The mind is all over the place. The only thing that comes to mind is more meditation, despite the resistance..

There you go, slam dunk. End of discussion

LOL, are you serious? I'm at a loss for words... be careful, the ego operates quite well after awakenings, it's sneaky. I think polyamory is silly, but what's important to note is that it's each person's choice, don't take it as an absolute. There are no absolutes in the world of form, all is relative.

I'd say meditation is crucial. You want to get to a point where you clearly notice that the thoughts in your head are not who you are. Self-observation, not only in meditation. If you meditate for 30 minutes and then go back to a life of unconsciousness it will not be the same as if you bring that awareness to everyday life. Find out what you are not first, observe yourself with curiosity. See your beliefs at work, observe, observe, observe. I think this would be a good start. And remember, it's always Now, drop any ideas of awakening in the future. In fact, drop all ideas altogether

I still remember reading a bunch of threads here about Love and being confused, especially after an awakening that was very profound but where the Love aspect (apparently) wasn't there. I just didn't get it. If Leo and others hadn't emphasized Love as much I could have easily been satisfied with the understanding I got from that awakening. I asked loads of questions here about the topic, and was frustrated with the answers cause I just didn't get it. But I remained open-minded. A few months later I had an awakening to Love, I had kept looking because it had been pointed out to me that something big was missing. So I really don't understand how people can defend the omission of Love from nondual teachings. In my personal experience, it was crucial to hear about the Love aspect from different teachers, including many people here on the forum.

How is it a trap once you've become directly conscious of it?

Most nondual teachers do talk about Love. So it's not that it's "better than" anything, nor coming from ego. Manifestation is Love, and this can be realized. Or not

This will not do. Turn your questions into assumptions and start guessing. "You look like a yoga teacher" instead of "What do you do?". This is better, she will more easily engage. It doesn't matter whether you are right, it leads to conversation. Ideally, you will want to make flirty statements, not just do boring assumptions. Practice, practice, practice.

I've noticed the same thing, and I agree. You never hear guys like Rupert Spira or Adyashanti doing that, they understand relativity much better. Guys like Tony Parsons and Jim Newman have something about them that is off, and it shows in those snarky comments about other teachers. Not that it matters

I’ve recently rediscovered my life purpose (or passion, or vision, if you will). It’s music. It was a part of my life before, but there was too much ego in it then, which created more anxiety than fulfillment. Now, years later, I feel like I can dedicate myself to it with freedom from outcome and just the enjoyment of creating. But of course, even though there is no attachment to results, I do want to eventually share with others, and connect with people through my music. I’ve ‘built’ a small and basic home recording studio where I can pretty much make a whole record by myself. I’ve begun writing and arranging the first few songs and in six months I should have an EP ready to release. As far as the music goes, I’m confident that I’ll find my own way, though there is much to learn in the process. But I’m confused about how to actually build an audience and would love to get your advice, as many of you are YouTubers, artists, etc. and have experience with attracting people to your channels/websites. I understand that building a website, establishing a presence in social media and YouTube, and putting out a lot of content is the way to do it (please correct me if I’m wrong). But I have no idea about the order in which to do these things. Should I only build a website once the EP is ready to release? Or the earlier the better? My day job does give me a lot of free time, so while working on the album I could also put out some videos playing random songs, talking about music, etc., there’s loads of ideas in my mind… but a part of me thinks it might be counterproductive, because I don’t have any original music to put out yet. It just isn’t clear to me how the process is usually supposed to go… I would love to hear what you think

@Raptorsin7 I agree with you, absolutely. My OP was written assuming that will be the case. Assuming I make good music (which is a big assumption, I know), how do I get it out there? That was the gist of the post.

@Average Investor Thanks a lot, that's great advice. Will definitely take note of what you said.

@Chumbimba Thanks, you've made me think about what the genre actually is, it's still a work in progress I would say one of the following, in the order I would pick them: - Alternative Pop/Rock (I hesitate to name it rock because I don't use electric guitars at all); - Chamber Pop (highlighting the orchestral element, though it isn't always there); - Indie Pop (I guess this one is broader, though a part of me doesn't resonate with it) In case this doesn't help much, I'll just name a couple of my influences. Though, of course, I have my own style: - David Bowie - Radiohead - Rufus Wainwright - Scott Walker - The Divine Comedy - The Beatles What would you say is the target audience for this? I should follow my prospective audience? Not sure I understood... Also, is it a good idea to create art work, and a band name, and a web domain as soon as possible? Or should I wait until I have music ready to release? And thank you!! @Danioover9000 Thanks for the tip I gotta be honest with you, learning about marketing creates some resistance within me. I don't really think of the music as a product, though it most certainly is from a certain perspective. The ideal audience is people who love "good music", whatever that is. You know, good tunes, good songs. I know, it's all relative... in which case, I would refer to the musicians I mentioned above, my prospective audience is a part of their audience, I guess. Assuming I can make good music on my own, with professional quality sound, which is yet to be confirmed.