Gili Trawangan

Same here.

Third cancelled class this week, schools still closed because of the coronavirus. Hopefully I'll be able to at least keep enough online classes to pay the bills and make my stay worthwhile. It should work out. At least I've been taking advantage of the free time, I got another new track yesterday that came from a cello melody, then added some drums and there's something there to get started. Plus I found some clever (or outlandish, don't know) arrangements for some of the other songs, including the use of some electric guitar loops that I hadn't discovered yet. Also started to use brass and strings, so there's a trumpet somewhere, a cello, a violin... it's shaping up. There's about six tracks so far, one completely finished. The others are at different levels of progress, most of them are half way through. Next week I want to sit down and really work hard on finishing them. It feels like for most of them a stroke of inspiration is no longer required, the overall mood has been set. It's just about doing the leg work and completing the puzzles. It's a different kind of fun.

That's exactly what I think happened. This doctor didn't test me for anything, he just looked at my penis. In fact, I mentioned that I thought it was fungus, not sure if he would have diagnosed it that way. On the prescription the only thing written in English says fungal infection. Nonetheless, I've had candida albicans overgrowth in the past, and I'm pretty sure that's what it is. He prescribed 4: - Midantin (amoxicilin), that's the antibiotic; - Medrol; - Terbisil (Terbinafine), this is the antifungal; - Wellman, I googled it and it's just vitamins to boost the immune system; I'm so glad I didn't take it, I don't have any autoimmune disease. Because I was suspicious of the antibiotics I decided to Google every drug he had given me... geez, going to the doctor around here is dangerous business. I've taken the antifungal and the vitamins, I'm not going to take anything else. I'm also applying an antifungal cream, ketoconazole. I can't exit Vietnam at the moment. There are a few international hospitals here, but I've tried one before and it was not only similarly incompetent but also very expensive.

I know this isn't a medical forum but maybe somebody out there can give me some advice. I've had to take antibiotics twice in the last four months because of two STDs, first chlamydia and then gonorrhea. I'm now clean of STDs but have developed some sort of fungal overgrowth on my penis. Went to the doctor today and he prescribed four drugs, one of them being... antibiotics. Am I right to not want to take them? I'm in Vietnam and from my previous experiences am having a tough time trusting the doctors here. Maybe part of it is prejudice, don't know... Should I just take the other drugs he gave me? It's an antifungal, and an anti-inflammatory, and the other one I didn't understand, he said it would hasten the process...

@SilentTears Yeah, it never ceases to amaze Cheers, appreciate the comment!

One of the drugs he prescribed was Medrol, I've just googled it and it specifically says that one shouldn't take it if one has a fungal infection I have no idea what to do...

Saigon, Vietnam

Ultimately it's up to you, but I wouldn't build up expectations about the retreat. I've done one and it was a good experience, but also physically very demanding. The three daily strong determination sits can be excruciating to someone without much sitting experience. But it does train your equanimity if you are resolved to power through it. What I felt was the most noticeable "gain" was concentration, it shot through the roof. In hindsight, I realize that I went in hoping for a breakthrough, and therefore was slightly disappointed. Again, my advice is no expectations.

@SageModeAustin I wrote about it here: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/40097-awakening-to-infinite-love/ Sorry, don't know how to share other threads properly.

I would give yourself time to recover from this bad trip... then start thinking about it. For me, ayahuasca was definitely worth it though.

I don't know if what I did could be called a proper ceremony, but there were facilitators and other people, it was a retreat in Europe. I wrote about it here: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/40097-awakening-to-infinite-love/ Sorry, don't know how to share other threads without using a link.

Do what you are passionate about in every moment, as Bashar says

What kind of work are you talking about? If it's spiritual work, letting go and loving yourself when procrastinating IS the work. If you can stay mindful while it's happening, even better.

It will enhance it, while at the same time transcending it. First of all, you no longer care as much about the outcome, or at all. Second of all, the best game is no game, that is, there are no self-referential thoughts going on whatsoever, no ego or person is there, there is only a happening. Girls will respond to this authenticity in a very noticeable way, it's magnetic. However, as soon as you identify with the ego, and feel like you have to uphold some persona of being attractive or whatever, you've lost it. At that point, it's back to the present moment, cause there is no you to begin with

I would agree with what you're saying, it sounds reasonable, but it is just speculation either way, whether you are defending the existence of souls or not. I don't see how there's any way of knowing exactly how it works. To be honest, I am perfectly fine with not knowing or understanding.

You need to look at some data that has been collected by scientists. There are children who in the first years of their lives (until 7 or 8 years old) have memories of a past life and are able to describe with uncanny precision who that person was. Scientists have observed this and have in many cases found the person being described, making sure that the details given by the child were accurate enough. I don't remember the details, but was very much convinced of the veracity of the whole thing. What does this mean for nonduality? I don't know, the human mind can't understand infinity.

An entire day pretty much wasted. Went to the gym in the morning, the workout was good, but then was overwhelmed with lethargy the rest of the day. My class was canceled, not sure if that had anything to do with it. Very low vibration, no inspiration to do anything.

Thanks for sharing, sounds like you almost didn't come back. But Source had your back

It's about understanding relativity. You can understand that every single belief is just that, a belief. It doesn't mean that you have to take on others' beliefs instead, all you need is awareness that they are beliefs. Once this awareness is well established, you will be confident in the moment. Grounded in the groundlessness, so to speak. You hear points of view while understanding that that's what they are, relative points of view. There's no need to defend a position unless you want to, in the moment. There is only Now, stories of being confident or open minded can be let go of, moment to moment.

I watch movies for relaxing. If the day has been hard work, I go for comedies. Two days ago I watched "Bridesmaids" and it was hilarious, laughed my ass off.

EFT helped me release some childhood trauma. It's called Emotional Freedom Technique, if I'm not mistaken. It involves tapping on the chakras while speaking to yourself. I found it to be powerful, though for some reason stopped doing it entirely at a certain point.

I'm not sure if you will find this helpful, but I think what you need is to create a connection with your True Self. You're on this forum, so you know what that means. Discovering that you are not separate from anything else is true fulfillment. And in the process you also discover, if you haven't already, that no relationship or object can make you happy, only you can. And happiness is available every single moment, it's your nature. Self-realization, in a nutshell.

Hungover today because of the silly meet-up yesterday, which I regret today. Still, an incredible day. My hangover days used to be very depressive, and now there's nothing of the sort, just the mental haze. But the mood was great all day. I mentally wished not to have to work in the evening, and I had also wished earlier to get two new classes on my schedule in order to establish the ideal income. I got a text saying that my class today was cancelled and I was offered two new classes. Incredible how the universe continues to help despite last night's silliness. On top of that, I had a very productive songwriting day. Improved the structure on one song, completed the arrangement of the first song, and it sounded fantastic to me, plus wrote more of another song and got the theme for the lyrics, on top of a nice bridge. And I had loads of fun doing all of this, was having a blast. The EP is beginning to have a shape, it's happening. Feeling blessed, thankful, connected, and still hungover.

Amazing movie, turquoise movie.

Tonight I met up with the Czech girl for a few beers, and at a certain point I was spewing nonduality to her. I could see how it was going over her head, but just kept going. And some of it was just bullshit that I wasn't even conscious of, was just mouthing off. I guess I needed to get it out of my system. Or maybe I was bored by the regular chit-chat...