Gili Trawangan

Another recording session today, it was a bit rushed but I seem to have enough for one good take for each song. Next, when the mind is clearer and with fresh ears, will hear the vocal tracks again and find any mistakes that need to be fixed. There's a lot of anxiety in the midst of this process, it feels messy and the mind gets messy as well... sometimes I'm able to let go and laugh it off.

@remember Thanks for that explanation. Actually, I do finish the showers with warm water, simply because I don't have a choice... it's the way my shower works, even if the tap is set to cold, after a few minutes it starts to get warm I'm going to take another break this weekend, am feeling the body heat going up again and I don't particularly enjoy that.

How I feel depends on the moment you ask.. sometimes peaceful, sometimes agitated, sometimes happy, sometimes worried; fulfilled and content or still searching for something, lonely or feeling bliss.. it's a constant roller-coaster. But that which I really Am does not change

@remember Are you suggesting that the increased body heat is a result of the cold showers? I get the impression that it's because of the breathing exercise itself, when I do the breathing I experience a noticeable change in body temperature... Plus the cold showers aren't really that difficult here, it's a tropical climate, it's really hot, so the cold showers are actually welcomed

By accepting everything Or you could just notice that Reality itself is already accepting everything as it is, because it is what it is already. And you are that. So, whether or not there are thoughts appearing that seem to be resisting what's happening, radical acceptance is already the case, always.

Another recording session. Got a couple of takes for each song, this time at the right level of gain. Did some research beforehand. It turns out that it's supposed to sound sort of quiet, then the level for the other instruments needs to be adjusted and brought down. I'll do another session tonight or tomorrow and get some more takes, there isn't enough to make a good one yet. The mind is getting overwhelmed, it feels like I'm in over my head with this. Will do some meditation and relax, it's only agitation.

@SilentTears Thanks! Yesterday I attempted to record vocals for the first time. They sounded just awful... one thing I'm not sure of is what sort of quality should I expect before adding plugins and effects. They sounded really soft and were completely drowned out by the rest of the instruments. And today I attended a webinar about mixing, what an overload of information... it seems extremely complicated to get it right... on the other hand, the people who give these webinars are trying to sell their mixing courses, so what else would they say? That it's easy to do it yourself? So I won't know until I've tried it. I don't want to get fooled into paying for courses before I even try to figure it out on my own. Will give it a go, for sure. It will be a cool learning experience. If I really feel like it's too hard and I'm getting nowhere, will then consider joining some kind of course.

I took a break during the weekend, was feeling too much body heat throughout the day. And where I live it's really hot, so it was getting uncomfortable. Resumed on Monday, so I think I'm on day 7. Nothing special to report.

Good post. Those who feel the need to learn strategies to get women i.e. PUAs usually come from a broken place: childhood issues, trauma, low self-esteem... these things need to be dealt with internally, simply trying to seduce more and more women will not work, even if you are "successful" at it. Only by facing your past traumas can you eventually get to a place where you are simply comfortable with yourself and with others, including women. Of course, experience in seduction doesn't hurt when it comes to attraction, but that doesn't really provide fulfillment. Good work on your part taking that step, most guys take years to realize this.

You're right, even though that's pretty much all of them! lol Good luck to you as well.

There was a guy on the forum a few months back who was opening threads left and right saying he was God. Always the same thing, "I smoked weed and realized that I am God". I'm sorry for being blunt, but you are being just as annoying as he was. I have nothing against the message, there is no self, fine, but do you have to spread it around all the time in different threads saying the exact same thing? And comment on every thread using the exact same words? It just looses all meaning. I know that this is ultimately my problem, I should just be able to ignore it, but it can't be helped at the moment, I don't understand why the need to spread the same content over and over again; now THAT has no purpose whatsoever...

Today I went to the tax office to file taxes for 2019, not knowing what to expect. On the one hand, it was the deadline, so I thought it would be full. On the other hand, coronavirus... it turned out to be neither empty nor full. I asked around and found someone who spoke English. At first, she said I was missing some documents and had to pay extra. I thought it would be a pain in the ass, all the docs were in Vietnamese, so I just asked her if I could fill them out on the spot. She hesitated but agreed to help me, and in the end she took the documents to someone else and they filled out the hard one for me, while translating the other ones so I knew how to fill them out. And they also did the math, and I actually have money to receive, not pay. That was awesome, what a surprise! And very welcomed in these times of uncertainty and economic downturn. I handed in every document and came back home to work on some music, happy about that really unexpected surprise. So songwriting was the rest of the day, and I seem to have finished the final arrangement. March turned out to be a very productive month, and I like how setting a deadline for the songwriting stage worked: I met the deadline and am quite happy with the results, there seem to be some good songs in there. Next up, recording. I've just ordered some new guitar strings online, and will soon start playing around with mic placement and trying some vocals. Probably I'll do some research first, get some tips before I get started. Also, I need to start singing every day to get the voice muscles active. There's a song that requires my highest notes, and another song that requires my lowest. For the one with the lowest notes, I've come up with a plan: drinking the day before. It always works, the voice gets much deeper... it should probably be the last one to be recorded.

It's good that you saw this. But instead of quitting, what one does is readjust and learn from past mistakes. When you do cold approach, you're already being different, 99% of guys don't do it, so there's absolutely no need to be a jerk in order to be different. If you do it right, you generate attraction immediately, due to the sheer amount of balls it takes to approach. Of course, that's just the beginning of the interaction. Girls will feel incongruence, so it's really about making your own personality shine, not trying to be someone else, someone who is "attractive". Cold approach can make you face your demons sometimes because of some harsh rejections, but a turning point for me was when daygame started to be fun. I mean really fun, like I couldn't wait to go outside and play around. When the streets become your playground, you go out just to have fun and you stop caring about the results, it's all about the fun you're having in the moment. Notice how this is almost, if not fully, spiritual. It's just lighthearted innocuous fun. And if you happen to find a girl you vibe with, that's great. The other side of this coin is treating the project seriously in the sense that you actually want to become better. That means raising your awareness of what's happening in real time and adjusting accordingly. With enough experience it becomes natural, that's what people call calibration. It all comes down to how much you want it. If you want it bad enough, believe me, you have plenty of time to get good and to improve your dating life ENORMOUSLY. Good luck.

I can't talk about your online failures because I'm not that great at it. But as far as cold approach goes, if you want help you have to be more specific. Why did it never work out? The first thing you need to learn is how to diagnose what happened in set. The girls are your mirror, what you get is usually what you're projecting. You need to be able to explain what went wrong and why. That's the only way to get better. Otherwise you're shooting in the dark.

Tremendously accurate... thank you I wonder how I could do this though... any thoughts? Really appreciate it, @Emerald , take care!

Hi @Emerald Am I on the right path at the moment or is there anything that I'm not aware of? Thank you in advance!

Does it? Try to find 'an ego' in your experience. What is it?

Extremely sensitive lately... don't know how to explain it, it's like there's fear in the body. I would say it's a sort of subconscious thought "it can't be this good", or "sooner or later the other shoe will drop", and the body just doesn't seem to be able to relax. Watched the movie "The Green Mile" today, and cried my eyes out. There was a recognition of Love, and a release of emotion. If I knew anything about chakras, I would say that my heart chakra is more open now, as opposed to before the awakening to Love, when it was closed. Not sure how to cope with all of this, just letting it happen at the moment. Not sure there's anything else that can be done.

I haven't seen anyone mention Scott Kiloby, he has a YouTube channel as well and I really resonate with his style. He teaches inquiry to deconstruct ego stories in a very practical way.

@Nahm Wonderfully articulated. @flume I would say read what @Nahm wrote calmly and carefully, it's right on the money hey, I struggle with these things too sometimes, until I realize what's going on. You're fine, really.

Yesterday and today I worked on the final arrangement. It turns out I still have plenty of fire in me to do this, it doesn't even feel like work, I'm just enjoying the whole process. This is what I imagined it to be many years ago, when I heard people say "follow your passion" and "work doesn't feel like work if you enjoy it". It's true, it's amazing. Of course, more amazing would be to actually earn some income from it, but I'm not complaining. It's a dream, I remember wishing I could make music on my own, without having to resort to musicians who could help out on their spare time. It always felt like a waste, if only I could just manifest the sound I wanted... and a few years later, here we are. I dreamed it, I got it.

Day 4. I've been feeling a lot of heat in my upper back throughout most of the day. Is it related in any way?

I've just heard all songs again, in the planned order for the EP. Indeed, that song I was concerned about needs work on the arrangement, the others I consider to be finished, barring a few tweaks that will become obvious once the mixing stage has started. There isn't an obvious style to the EP, but that's what I was going for anyway. I wanted to experiment with different sounds and styles. It should still make sense in the end, if it's mixed and mastered properly. Got an email from the language centre saying that we might have to start teaching from home. Vietnam now has 153 cases of coronavirus, but the government seems to be treating the threat with extreme precaution. More and more public spaces are being ordered to close down.

I consider the songwriting phase to be over. Initially I was thinking of six songs, but finally settled on five. The EP should have 15 minutes of music. I've listened to all of them as they are, and there is one song which concerns me, because it doesn't sound good yet. I'm wondering if I'll be able to save it in the mix, so far it sounds dry and boring. I was thinking of going back to work on it and mess around with the arrangement, but something is telling me to stop for now. I feel like I need a new challenge, I need to do something different. The mind is tired of arranging, intuition is telling me to move on. Phase two will be recording. By recording I mean not only recording acoustic guitars and vocals, but also finding the perfect sounds for MIDI instruments that may not be ideal as they are. I'm mostly thinking of bass sounds, and a couple more instruments that I didn't bother to find the right sound for, I just found a sound that was good enough for songwriting purposes. In many cases though, I already have the perfect sound, so I don't think it will be too much work. Still, for actual recording I need to learn about mic placement, and experiment with it. Also, there is so much noise here... as I write this, the neighbor is putting on one of his habitual performances, when he blasts the entire street with his loud speakers and sings Vietnamese music to his heart's content. So I'll have certain time windows that allow for recording... I give myself the month of April to do this, because there will be other things on my plate. There's regular teaching, there is solving the visa/work permit situation, and there is additional online work for a little extra money at this time. Anyway, very happy that I met the songwriting deadline. As the songs were being written, I was getting excited about them. Now that I've heard them dozens of times, I don't know what to think, sometimes I think they're good, sometimes not so much... we'll see.

How can you figure anything out through a post online? Don't you have to feel the energy or vibration or something before you can read anything?