Gili Trawangan

This is where it's at. There's no easy way around it, just force yourself to approach. I remember when I first started trying daygame. I would walk around for hours without being able to approach a single woman. I'll never forget my first approach, it was awkward, I was shaking... all I can say is that it gets better. Way better. And it becomes incredibly fun, it's just such a beautiful process. If you want this part of your life handled, you'll have to go over the hump. It's worth it. By the way, this is your mind tricking you. I used to feel that way too, but at a certain point I started to get positive feedback (like having beautiful girls thanking me for approaching them), all of that ridiculous mind chatter just went away. Yes. It goes full circle. You get to a point where you can just be yourself and things fall into place. It stops being important, dating is a beautiful part of life but it doesn't consume you. But you have to do the work in order to get to that place.

@Being Frank Yang Very cool.

I almost signed up for one of these online, they had some kind of challenge a few weeks ago, haha. Couldn't make it work because of the different time zone.

It's real and it's a joke, that duality also collapses

I didn't see anyone mention relativity. To get to Yellow you need a deep insight into relativity. Start contemplating it, are there any perspectives that are objectively true? How does a perspective or worldview come about? How would your worldview change if your life conditions had been different? Once you get relativity, most of your judgments will automatically fall away.

Honestly, I see a big problem here. I understand that the recent events are challenging, but I would take a step back and think about it, calmly. I actually think your most important teachings are not God/Love, etc. Because God/Love cannot really be taught, it can only be realized. Your most important teachings are on the nature of the human mind, how to find out what's true, epistemology and self-deception, etc. That's what helped me the most to find out what's true, for myself. And here you're closing doors to critical thinking. You even say: "If you don't believe in such things it is really a waste of your time to be here". I know it's not your intention, but that makes it sound like this is borderline a religious group, or, at best, having a high likelihood of turning into an echo-chamber. It's your right to do that, but it will make this forum worse in the long run. One of the main strengths of the forum is precisely that a lot of members here are independent thinkers. They're not following you blindly, they're questioning everything, including your teachings. This is a positive thing, and probably being taken for granted at this time. Like I said in the thread about SoonHei, I don't think your more advanced teachings are ripe yet, mostly because of the delivery, but it would be a shame if because of what happened you now started to simply ban members for having a different point of view. Some people might start self-censoring just so they can stay. Even though I don't really participate all that much, I will always speak my mind, so I'm ready to be invited to leave if this really ends up being your decision. There is something that is often missing from us here, probably because most of us here are still quite young. It's humility. This word keeps popping up in my mind, we need more of it here. Infinity cannot be contained, and can always find a way to pull the rug from under you. Just when you think you've got something, infinity will tend to humble you. I think this is a lesson to be learned not just once, but again and again - I certainly keep forgetting as well. I hope that, with time, as things quiet down, this whole idea will be reconsidered.

@Leo Gura Totally agree with B. Like I said, I'm not judging you, nor am I saying you've done anything wrong. I'm just saying that you will continue to grow, so we are in total agreement. I understand that it's not an easy position to be in, your entire spiritual path is on the internet, this can't be easy to deal with. My heart goes out to you, I certainly would have trouble handling it if I were in your shoes (well, I am, aren't I?). As for A, I've had that awakening. I do understand. I just don't think it should be communicated in that fashion. I had a dissonant experience as I was watching the video. On the one hand, I was seeing the truth in the concepts (as verified by direct experience). On the other hand, I couldn't help but feel that it deserved a deeper more loving way of communicating it. That's all I'm saying. Again, it's not an attack. Everything is Perfection, including your videos and our so-called arguments and discussions here.

@Leo Gura People don’t necessarily want you to change, Leo. You are accepted and valued as you are. But, at the same time, what people are picking up on is the energetic level from which your teachings are coming. The last video for me was an obvious example. There’s an emphasis given on being right, on the idea being somehow absolutely true, instead of a more nuanced appreciation of what that message is going to convey and how it will be received. In fact, there’s this notion that the message will NOT EVEN be received, because “there are no others”. This is what people are criticizing. Now, let me be clear, what happened to SoonHei was absolutely nobody’s fault. He seemed to be an independent thinker and was most certainly not a fanboy who decided on a whim to do this. I tend to agree with you that he made his choice and nothing would have prevented it. However, and to put this in language that everyone here will know very well, Leo’s center of gravity is still Stage Yellow. You have not yet embodied Stage Turquoise (and hey, neither have I, obviously not judging); hence this notion that mind is the same as heart. It is and it isn’t. You’ve had profound glimpses/realizations, but you don’t live from that place, which is why you don’t act with the kind of energy that we ‘get’ from those old gurus/sages. Well, obviously you don’t, you’re a young guy with much to learn and embody. I would guess that 10/20 years from now you will look back on some of this with a different perspective. Actualized.org is an incredibly valuable place for people who are Stage Orange/Green and it can help them on their way to Tier 2. As far as the more advanced stuff goes, I think there is much to be improved on the delivery, the ideas themselves, and of course, the energy from which they spring. A more loving energy, more in line with what the fabric of reality really is. This is just an opinion, my 2 cents, just trying to be constructive. My condolences to SoonHei’s family, he was lovely. Again, he will be missed.

I didn't know he also had a family... this is hard to understand. He had an amazing vibe and will be missed.

Geez, I'm shocked... such a young guy, so positive always...

@Muhammad Jawad Is this true?

Nice insights, thanks for the share.

I personally wouldn't worry about that. I would try to have fun and I would be honest with the women, there are plenty of women out there who are not looking for anything serious. But that's just me. So, having said that, I did mention you can focus on anything that you're passionate about. If meeting women right now is not it, then focus on something else. What are you passionate about? Again, all I'm saying is that focusing on what you don't want is a recipe for disaster. And misery.

What I've found is that the more you focus on getting rid of something the more you strengthen it. Your focus needs to go into something else, NOT into trying to get rid of porn use. What are you passionate about? If women is all you are interested in at the moment, start approaching them. Shift your focus from sex/porn to actually meeting women and learning how to flirt with them, take them on dates. You will eventually notice that watching porn makes you less attractive (you seem to understand this) and then you'll have positive and more natural motivation for stopping it. Fill your life with things that you enjoy and/or want. And be gentle with yourself if it takes some time.

Haven't watched the video but read through the thread. OP, you've been doing daygame for a month, good on you that you've taken the plunge. Pat yourself on the back just for that. Now, one month is nothing. You haven't even gotten your feet wet. Daygame has a steep learning curve and it's not uncommon for it to take six months or more in order to get good. Of course, this assumes that you are adapting and learning from mistakes (it seems that you are). The turning point for you will be when it starts to be fun REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME. At this point you are still too needy. You can't really fake freedom from outcome, it's either there or it isn't. The solution for you is this: keep approaching.

Very poignant messages. We easily take our health for granted, as I was reading there was a strong stirring of emotion. A sense of humility, I guess, coming from his words.

When you hold the solipsistic view, can you feel how rigid it is? Can you notice how it's a mental position? Can you see how that can be flipped around and a different position can easily be held? If you notice these things, that should tell you that it is, at best, a partial truth - of the mind. Infinity is so much more than that. Also, if you awaken to God/Infinity/Love, you see how Love is inclusive, not exclusive. That's why, when I hold the solipsistic view in my mind it doesn't feel good. It's not in alignment with Love, it excludes ("other body-minds are not conscious") instead of including. No, Infinity is so much more than that.

@Emerald I find it very interesting, because as a guy I don't really discriminate between heart-centered or loins-centered (haha) as you put it. I'm guessing that having these different types of fantasies that seem contradictory must create some dissonance? That's what it sounds like, as if the guy that's in one fantasy is quite different from the guy on the other...

Hahaha! Sometimes I wish I could actually experience what a woman's fantasies are like

What happens exactly who knows, but it will be the most extraordinary "experience" - for lack of a better word - ever. Love beyond your wildest dreams.

What's the book about music making called? I'm interested...

It depends how you say it. Sounds like you shouldn't, due to lack of experience. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking. If you say it in a flirtatious manner, half-jokingly, it works. Push-pull is even better (follow the compliment with a tease). If you say it and just sound like a thirsty dude, it backfires.

Actually, daygame is a fantastic way of creating abundance. Keep approaching, the turning point is when it starts to be fun. Don't stop approaching until there is a girl who is heavily invested in you. Work on your skills, start getting a lot of numbers and before you know it there is abundance there. Trust me, it can be done, think positively.

Ghosting is just a lazy way of demonstrating they are not interested in you. There was maybe a faint of interest before, but it's no longer enough to keep anything going. I didn't use to understand this either, but now I live in a place where I have literally a few thousand matches online and I can't keep up with them. So I either don't text at all, or sometimes I start texting and then I forget to resume the chat, often conversations are left hanging either by me or by the women. And I never take it seriously, and (I assume) neither do they. Because everyone is coming from a place of abundance. This is just the explanation of it, I'm not saying it's right. In an ideal world, everyone would be super considerate of others' feelings all the time, but that requires effort. I certainly understand where they're coming from now, it's just too much work to keep up with all the people hitting you up. It could be a full time job. A reasonably attractive woman will have dozens, or hundreds, or thousands, of guys hitting her up all the time. She's only going to be considerate to someone that she's already invested in, or someone for whom she has a lot of attraction.

Aside from the neediness, this quote is a good example of "what goes around comes around". If you have no qualms about taking the girl from another guy whilst bragging that you're better than him, how can you be mad that the same thing happens to you and someone else gets her? What if she found a guy who is "actual fact better than you"? Do you see how unhealthy that way of thinking is? I would take some time to have a hard look at your whole perspective and how you yourself might have caused the whole situation. It may be painful but it will help you to grow in the long run.