jbram2002

Conversation has tried and failed to stop me from overeating many times.

I recommend figuring out which of these downsides is least important to you and going with that choice. I think you seemed happiest on green tea.

I think the Jonathan Apples were the ones planted by Johnny Appleseed. I learned a bunch about him back in grade school cause, well, my name. Although the wiki for it is saying something else. The page for Johnny Appleseed says that because he was against grafting, the apples he planted actually didn't taste good and were only useful for making cider. In other words, he spread the gift of booze across America. That's something they never taught me in school . Hmm... funny enough, his brother had the same name as my brother. Definitely a coincidence. But yes, my name means I'm a literal gift of God. I'm not overly proud or anything

What if it's not your story to tell? Maybe it's everyone's story to write together.

(now they're all directed at me instead, so you're safe)

A phrase popped into my head this morning, and I wanted to write it down before I forgot. "Everyone is too young to die, too wise to learn, and too old to change." Not sure what it means, if anything.

@zeroISinfinity I believe it's impossible to go through life without harming anyone or causing some suffering. The trick is to avoid intentionally doing so, or to cause the least amount that you feasibly can, including to yourself. @Aakash You're all kinds of crazy and saying a bunch of things that are intended to be provocative simply for the sake of being provocative, but I like you. Which is odd cause you want to kill my kids with love, so I'm not sure how I'm squaring those two things, but you interest me. I know you said you didn't feel a journal was necessary, but it would be an interesting insight into what still makes you tick. Because you still exist in that mind. I can see it pretty clearly.

I feel like this could become a daily mantra with a little tweaking. It's good to ask yourself these questions constantly.

Don't worry about tone. I'm not going to get offended too easily. I'm fully expecting a lot of people on this forum really appreciate all of what Leo says and does. I'm simply not one of them. You're absolutely right. It's impossible to get a place that fits everything you want. We all just have to learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. The issue is when there's too much chaff for it to be worth it, and that's a personal decision everyone needs to make. So my point isn't that I want Leo to cater to my individual needs. I'll explain a little better: This forum is a community of individuals. There are a lot of them that enjoy Leo's content, but they are not Leo (asides from how we are everyone in a nondualistic sense, but that's not what I'm talking about). This forum may have been created by Leo, but it is not Leo. It is a community. The members of the community are, to some extent, able to police themselves and sort out issues without needing moderators, and the mods step in as needed. That's perfectly fine and even better than some forums I've been in where the mods had to constantly ban or suspend people. However, if the community wants X and it isn't even remotely difficult to provide it, why not give X? In this case, X is a place for new seekers to get information. Leo doesn't have to touch it. There are plenty of members who are willing to help out those who earnestly are seeking information or to better themselves. Some of these are simplistic questions or "low-quality" balking at tougher concepts. We have some people who are saying this forum needs to be more elitist, either via paywall or other hidden content that only specific people are allowed to access once they have proven their dedication. This is the exact opposite of what I would like to see. Theories about enlightenment have been hidden away for centuries, only to be shared with the elite. I want to share these things with the common man. I want everyone to gain access to awakening and self-improvement, for if they improve, we all improve. That means allowing the low-quality posts, as long as they aren't actually trolling. Like I said, some people here are still in kindergarten. Leo doesn't need to teach a kindergartener's course, though. Someone who has been through that can take up that mantle. You and I can help guide those people while Leo continues to do what he deems best for himself and his channel/vision. But even the most basic form of elitism is detrimental to what I believe his ultimate goal is.

You're my hero.

I apologize if I gave that impression... I was trying to expound my thoughts on the topic with the limited knowledge I have. I see both sides of this discussion, but I think it's moved beyond the point where I can contribute well in that thread. TA is saying that there are plenty of people who are nowhere near self-actualization, and we should be willing to help them achieve even the most basic levels of awakening. These people are often earnest seekers that have absolutely no clue what the first step is, or they think they know everything already. I know there have been a lot of times where I've felt left behind or left out of a conversation because I don't know the first thing about some of what's being discussed. My tactic is to look it up instead of asking questions, for the most part, because posting a thread saying "What is spiral dynamics and how does it apply to me?" would show that I haven't even put in the most basic effort. BUT some people aren't very good at Google, and Google is often not very good at sifting out the wheat from the chaff. The flip side is that moderation is a really tricky task, no matter what you're moderating. There are some things that are obviously trollish or spammy. And then there's a lot of borderline things. I think the latter is where the sticking point is. What bothers me about this particular response is that in context, Leo's statement feels haughty and egoic. "I need to delete the posts of those less learned in order to maintain a quality level I find acceptable." He would rather destroy a community than allow posts that are considered lower quality than his limit. Depending on what that limit is, this isn't an extreme point of view, but TA was talking about earnest posts from newcomers. "No serious spiritual school would allow such distractions." Is this a serious spiritual "school"? No, it's a forum. We're not here for homework. I'm certainly not here for three-hour weekly lectures. Most of us are here to improve themselves. If you want to keep the school analogy, we have some people who are in kindergarten, and some who are in their doctorate's program. If you want to lock out those who are new seekers, you will turn away people who could eventually become great spiritual leaders due to your haughtiness. Personally, if that's what the vision for this forum is, I would rather it be shut down.

The answer is yes. It's both. Connection is a part of your ego. You feel fulfilled by being connected. The question is whether that's beneficial to you in your path. There are a lot of downsides to connection, but a lot of benefits as well. You say you felt gutted when a teacher spoke to you. Why? I felt the same. I remember my 6th-grade teacher taking me outside the classroom to talk to me, and I had this massive pit in my stomach like I could almost not breathe. The reason I felt like that was because I wanted to be seen as the best student, to be the teacher's friend, to be seen as helpful. It was ego, and definitely not in a positive way. Trying to sound smarter is another part of your ego. Words are tricky; it's often hard to get a point across without either sounding too grandiose or too trivial. I think a lot of us aren't amazing at walking that line. But if you feel it's better to stay silent than to make a mistake, that's your ego holding you back. Embrace the mistake, learn from it, and continue to speak freely and proudly about what you feel is important. Just also recognize that what you feel is important might simply be your ego too.

@DrewNows Thanks for sharing the video! I've been busy this weekend, but I'll try to find time to watch it and share insights. From your description alone, I would say I believe the zero-sum game is often extremely dangerous to play. Not just in romantic relationships, but in all relationships. I'd say to @Bill W that you can translate a lot of the relationship advice to friendships as well... just dropping the romantic part of it. You say you don't think you need to enhance relationships, and you might be right. I have similar opinions about what you said. However, some people are more difficult to work with than others, and nearly everyone has moments where they are impossible to work with. Topics like this help us balance our own needs and interests with that of the other person. You say you want to be open-minded and humble? Then some of these topics can be super useful to understand, even if you don't apply them specifically to your situations. As for going back to zero-sum... I never have understood why people think any benefit to one person is a detriment to another. There are some things that are that way, of course. But even the most obvious examples (I give my wife $50, so I no longer have that $50) can serve to enhance both sides (she spends the money on something important or edifying for both of us, like food or a hairstyle that improves her mood). There are many things that seem like they're pointless or detrimental to one person in the relationship, but following through with that often helps both sides. One thing that feels pointless to me right now is trying to get my daughter to sleep in her own bed. There are several annoyances involved: A) it cuts into my limited free time, B) she's a super light sleeper, so any movement or anything wakes her up, and C) her floor and door make a lot of noise so it's impossible for me to sneak out when she's asleep. This leads to me waiting for an hour for her to get into a deep enough sleep before I try to tiptoe out, and still 70% of the time, she wakes up. At that point, it's over. She has to sleep in our bed or she's inconsolable and no one gets sleep. I could get frustrated at the wife for not putting in more effort to fix this on her own. But what would that serve other than getting her mad at me? She's super exhausted at night time after dealing with similar stuff all day long. It might be somewhat detrimental to me to do this, but there are plenty of positives with it too. I get to cuddle my daughter to sleep. I get to help my wife get some unhindered sleep at night. And on the few nights where she does sleep well, the wife can get several hours before my daughter wakes up. There are a bunch of other things I could go into, but they all boil down to the same thing: I'm investing into my family and my future happiness. Even if I'm temporarily frustrated, isn't it all worth it in the end? Instead of it being a zero-sum game, we should consider that anything that benefits one of us also benefits both of us. As long as the detriment to one of us doesn't outweigh the benefit to the other, we should be fine. But usually the benefits far exceed the detriments.

@Dylan Page In order to be successful in anything you do, you need to care about it to some degree. You can change your perspective. Most jobs have a very important role in society (some obviously don't). Instead of having a negative outlook on everything and prejudging ahead of time that you'll hate it, look at the positive aspects. A) You get money. Pretty important. B) Your job has its role. My 9-5 allows me to provide an important service to steel fabricators that allow buildings to be built. There's a lot of amazing interactions I would miss out if I refused to work a 9-5. The first semester of college is intended to get most people to the lowest rung on the ladder in order to build a foundation thereon. Again, this is a negative perspective you have that you can change. Instead of deciding that all college is useless based on the extremely simplistic 101 courses you began, realize that there was a lot of information there that many people don't know. They can then build on this information next year and not have to waste time teaching it all over again. These introductory courses often are the most boring and standardized courses available in college since the professors are just as bored as you are. Try researching who the best professors are for these courses. You might find some hidden gems. My Physics course PHY 101 was taught by an amazing professor because he wanted to engage with the students. All in all, you have an extremely negative perspective on your future, on your options, and on things you've never experienced. This extremely negative perspective will only serve to hold you back. You felt college was BS and stupid because you had a negative outlook on it. You think 9-5 jobs are something you won't care about because you have a negative outlook on it. The best guidance anyone can give you right now is to first fix your attitude problem, then pick a path and go for it. Once you pick your choice, go all in and work hard for it. If you want to build a business, you may need to work a 9-5 first in order to build up your personal income. Most businesses are not immediately successful in the first year... or even 5 years. If you want to go to college, accept that you'll need to dust off some rusty skills and those "boring" classes are the best way to do that. Search yourself to figure out what you really want to do with your life, then go all in. That doesn't mean that changing your mind is off the table, but proceed with confidence and excitement. With a positive attitude, you can do almost anything.

There's a rap section in this song whose lyrics are pretty deep, but no one ever listens to the lyrics in rap music. I suggest people look them up and dig into them, but here's a snippet: I had no clue who Bobby Brown was, so I looked him up. Asides from being a slang term for really bad weed, Bobby Brown was a sensational star, at one point called the King of R&B. He got together with Whitney Houston, and the two of them created a dynasty together. Then, the two of them started to fall into bad drug habits and things went really poorly for them. The media destroyed them both, but especially Bobby Brown whose career never recovered. "To be Bobby then" means to be the rich and famous. "You have to be Bobby now" means that people will shut you down and tear you apart once you've acquired your fame. It's an interesting way to look at accepting both the good and the bad that comes with your ambitions.