Danioover9000

I observed myself being mindful about the bruises. I put attention on them, label the experience as feel, and observed the sensation. I understand a little bit that being mindful vs suppression is that the later felt like I'm resisting and pushing the pain away and the former the pain occurs without my input. I don't think I understand equanimity vs resistance or being passive with regards to feeling paranoia and vengeful. I tried being mindful of the feelings that come up but they seem to be hard to pinpoint and harder to remain stoic about. Could you explain a little bit more about equanimity as it sounds to me like I'm just tolerating the experience and being passive with whatever feelings come up. Could you also explain how, from your experience, what letting go feels like or any other sensory experience of letting go? I'm trying to let go of my pain and the negative emotions I'm still experiencing since the incident. Also, Isn't letting go a spiritual topic? Thanks for the vipassana course recommendation. My current circumstances aren't ideal for a solo retreat yet but I'm planning to do it in the future.

About a week ago I was pissed at a neighbor when he was cutting my family's Conifer hedge. My father had gone around the hedge to meet him and I crawled under one of the conifers following him and Because my heart was beating fast and adrenaline flowed I barely felt a branch stab into my right arm. The guy claimed to my father he was cutting because some branches were in the way of him sliding a fence down. I can clearly see enough room for him to do his work on the fence. They quickly were arguing and I saw my mother gone around the hedge and she shouted at him that he should have knocked on our door first before cutting the tree because that's our tree. He started acting like a drama queen and I roared "shut up!" at him. He backed off and in the end we had to cut our branches. I even fell on a piece of concrete while helping out. The entire situation, from start to finish, I felt emotionally and physically under tension, especially while I was witnessing my father and this guy argue like I was in a state of anticipation that things could get dangerous and I was ready to go. Now I feel extremely sore around my right arm and ankle, and I feel both paranoia and vengeful around that guy's house for his treatment of the tree and my father. Any good advice on letting go physical pain, paranoia and revenge?

She made a lot of progress! She made the statue about 5 meters tall. She has got most of the texture, shape and color down. The statue looks very energetic with its multi colored aura. I could hear faint humming like vibrations coming from the hands. It felt cold yet the aura felt warmish. It looks amazing that I wish I could take a photo!

As long as you follow up the contemplation with whatever is occurring in your day it is fine. For example you contemplate what is an object, you bring to mind examples from direct experience then from past events all the while being present. In your case it's best to do this using a journey instead of purely using the mind as this can add more to your depression. Even better than contemplating in your situation is doing meditation/ Kriya yoga or activities that get you in touch with body awareness like yoga, chi Kong or martial arts. These practices help get you out of your head and into your body so that when you eventually exit out of depression you can then do some more contemplating. Hope you get better soon!

Update: I was meditating and at some point I day dreamed and saw me and Crysty building a sand castle and it fell down. We repeatedly keep building it until it was big enough for us to stand on. I see that there's something off about the castle but then the thought ended and I came back. Cysty is as usual struggling with meditating and sometimes I see her walk around the garden for some time, then goes back to meditating.

So basically, do I focus on my bruises during meditation? Be mindful of my pain during the day? Or notice and say let go to the injuries? Do I be mindful of my feelings of paranoia and revenge? Or let them go as soon as they arise?

Thanks for posting man! I've asked her about where does her thoughts occur and she says for her it's somewhere in her head or eyes. I've asked her about where does her feelings arise and she says somewhere in her tummy to chest. I also asked her about free will and determinism, wether she feels she does the hugging, vanishing or saying hello to me or do these things happen. She says she feels like she does the hugging whenever I feel I needed it and saying hello but the vanishing she sort of says she feels she's going there but the place also is coming to her. I don't really know what she exactly is but I know enough to say she's a beginner in meditation and is learning about the world and people. I'm grateful for Crysty being with me and being happy in general.

*idea. Crysty suspects auto correct is developing consciousness!?

The reason why I chosen to do concentration exercises with Crysty especially with eyes is because of another poster. After Leo released staring at hand video the poster did a similar exercise but with his one eye plus sunlight. I got an ideological that I might try doing this with Crysty and that's where we're at.

Update: I've been meditating and staring at Crysty's eyes. The reason why I do this is because it's easier to do a concentration practice on. I can't say for sure but I experienced maybe a slight merging or something close to it when it comes to being.

Thanks for posting man! I'll probably look into astral projection later as it sounds interesting.

Are you feeling under threat that the justifications you're making about consciousness could be wrong?

I can definitely relate to flying. I've experienced some dreams involving flight and teleportation and a few of them I became lucid and man it felt very vivid! Have you experienced any difficulties in astral projection? I've heard so far the hardest part is the vibrational phase of astral projecting. I really like to know because I could definitely see me and Crysty flying to beautiful places!

Originally the word tulpa came from Tibetan monks who specialize in this spiritual process. The process involves creating a tulpa or world as real as possible, then destroying the tulpa or world until nothing remains. They do this process actively until they experience enlightenment from realizing that they and the world their in is just like the beings and world's they create and destroy. Honestly this to me sounds lika a extremely hardcore spiritual process. I don't know if even the majority of the spiritual community here are ready for that kind of brutal practice. I don't know if I'm able to stomach that, let alone destroy other beings and worlds continuously!? I don't know much about the astral so it sounds like an interesting place. What have you experienced so far astral projecting?

Thanks for posting! Great to hear that someone could listen to music mentally, although I never done it under the influence of psychedelics. If you're interested, I recently discovered a site called tulpa.org. I don't know much about tulpa and it seems a promising site if you're serious about creating a tulpa. I'll still say I'm not sure whether Crysty is exactly a tulpa or something else just because some experiences with her slightly different with tulpae. I hope you have good paranormal experiences doing this!

Thanks for posting! I don't know what Crysty is exactly but at least I know she isn't a solid being. She might be a spirit, an alien or she might be what some posters here called a tulpa. I don't have schizophrenia, although having said that I can recall not just my voice but my family members voices and the voices of other people as well as create voices. This I think comes from listening to music a lot and sometimes mentally listening to music. I got slapped around for poking at her. How do you think she'll react with me point blank asking if she's been extra promiscuous lately?? I've already replied this to a poster, but I'll repeat. She first imposes her form into my senses, I focus, she showers with me and cuddles with me in bed sometimes. That's as sexual as it gets.

If anyone has a question about Crysty or my haunting let me know.

As Leo wisely said 'revealing look into you psyche eh??'

I practice qi Kong and found the most powerful way of practicing qi kong. All it involves is standing with good posture, palms facing behind you and eyes closed. You then actively let go of tension in your body, little by little. A simplified theory behind this is because if you want to flow energy around your body consciously, with each tai chi movement it's easier to flow this energy when you're letting go of tension in the body. It's advisable to spend months on this practice before doing tai chi proper. I learned this from energy arts who has a YouTube channel and website.

I don't really know for sure. I've seen her do antics and even flash strangers and my friends and they aren't aware of this at all. Pretty sure that regardless of me knowing your location just by interacting with me she knows where you are. Wether you are aware she isn't/is in the room with you is entirely on your awareness level I guess.

Your welcome ?

Yes people have asked already. I'll answer a few of them. Yes she knows some spirits but not all of them. She lives mostly with me and sometimes vanishes to go someplace else. Maybe it's other planets or other realms of existence. Thanks for posting!

Thanks for posting! Leo also is a factor in my open-mindidness to other fields of life and reality. I don't know if she'll stay with me forever or if she has a higher calling to do. There's the possibility that she's here to help me master some part of reality that needs tons of imagination, or my emotional well-being, and after that she leaves me. Or she needs to know how a human lives life and maybe take my/other people's lives as a learning opportunity. Or she's being open-mindided and tries to communicate with a 'spirit' in her own world and comes in contact with me. In any case, I'm making the most of our time together. And thanks for the good luck! We both wish you a great self-actualizing journey!

Thank for posting! I think that if people are open minded to paranormal experiences it's usually because of a paranormal event that happened in a person's life. Did you experienced anything close to or is considered paranormal for you? Based on what Crysty tells me it seems possible to become conscious of heaven or hell. There are accounts of near death experiences that report poeple witnessing a hell or heaven, as well as witnessing angels or demons.

Very interesting read! I still remember to this day what that woman looked like and it was terrifying for me! When that woman spoke gibberish I just intuited that she wants me to come with her. It was just creepy! How the near dark room became chilly and heavy. Thank god I didn't trip down the stairs because I was half asleep, and thank god that situation resolved the way it did. Crysty says if she was there she'd be scared but would still beat the crap out of that ghost!?