Ashleyy

True. I think I am observing all the time but then there are lots of "wtf did I just get sucked into" moments

For me it's important to figure out why I was addicted in the first place.

I think it is. Obsession & neediness

Thanks. I think I'd explore it slowly. I also have the weirdest vivid nightmares, like they are so weird to the point that I am fascinated by them. I cannot possibly write a horror story as epic haha. Am I in the astral realm when I have these dreams? They are mind-blowingly absurd.

Yea It's very interesting at the same time it terrifies the ego. Could you please tell me a little more how you deal with it? Last night I found myself getting into sleep paralysis again and was telling myself it's ok, no need to fear and it was a little better. But I still didn't dare to fall asleep. It's just this weird feeling that I'd die if I do.

@Space I had some crazier experiences when I was younger but fear gets in the way for me to explore more

@Leo Gura Currently on nonduality ep 3. Thanks for the great content Leo.

@Nahm Thanks for the reply but be careful of making assumption. You barely know me

Two days ago I had a dream I was reading tarots. I am not a good tarot reader but I do have a deck to play with sometimes. The only card I clearly remembered was the hierophant (which I am not so familiar with). So I woke up and went to the restroom, after that I was falling back asleep and had sleep paralysis, my body lost sensations quick and I was going back to the same dream while my mind was still awake. I had this quite a lot before so I forced myself to open my eyes. After a while, I closed my eyes again and went back to the same dream again. So I forced my self to wake up a couple of times after that but kept going back to the same dream. The last time I tried falling asleep as soon as I closed my eyes I saw a white flashlight next to my bed. Got kind of scared so forced myself to wake up again and didn't sleep until an hour later. I know the scientific reason behind it but am interested in other perspectives. + The second day when I came home from work, as soon as I walked into my room I had this strange feeling that I was slightly out of my body. Felt like I was floating kind of. Now I just meditated for a while and got this feeling again. Can't say I like this freaking out a little