Markus

It sure isn't experientially the same. What I mean to say is, your physiological response to ejaculation will be the same.

@Joseph Maynor Nothing has no qualities. So how could you divide it? Nothing is nothing.

If you're confused about wall, contemplate "What is wall?" until you become directly conscious of what wall is. Or, just stop mentally masturbating. Love ya, Markus

@Ilya Focus on the object of contemplation (you) and wonder what you really is. Intend to become conscious of what you really is. And be open to whatever it is. Your sense of you will likely move around, so you want to focus on what it is in that very moment, and if it changes, focus on that. Don't overthink this, you'll get a hang of it after a while. Do just 5 minutes of concentration right before your meditation. Notice the impact it has on the meditation session. Love ya, Markus

Oh, I remember when I was afraid of the dark heh heh. I'd imagine skeletons and ghosts and deformed humans with AIDS lurking around. Particularly indoors, alone, in the dark, at night. So what do you do about it? I don't know about you, but for me, these things became obsolete as soon as I was mindful enough to notice when I'm thinking. Which was very early on into meditation. If for you it's an issue on a bodily-emotional level, practice mindfulness of that, feel your body, relax it, open your chest, feel the fear. This silly nonsense will pass. All I can say. Love ya, Markus

When I was a newbie with that I was also confused and afraid I was doing sth wrong. But nah. It's all good. The point of self-inquiry is becoming conscious of what you are. The less distractions the better. It's also not about verbalizing the question mindlessly, it's about intending to become conscious of what you are and truly wondering, and keeping your focus on the realest sense of you-ness you've got in this moment. Whatever it is. Doesn't have to be thoughts. Oh, and do both. Also watch Leo's video on Concentration vs Meditation and start a concentration practice. Really helpful. Love ya, Markus

They sit for 20 minutes, an hour, and then what? They go about their day exactly as usual. As Leo said, just meditation is not that powerful unless you maintain that awareness day after day after day. They don't approach meditation with an open and investigative spirit, but see it as any other activity. Plus they don't have even theoretical understanding of the possibilities that could crack their mind open. That's my two cents.

You can't expect someone else do give you their money for stuff they don't believe in. Not gonna happen. So you play the hand you're dealt. Make your own income and you can do what you want with it. Easier said than done...but what other option is there? Rob a bank? Love ya, Markus

You don't need expert advice. Just an ability to look at this from the girl's perspective for a moment. First of all, you try to fake confidence which you clearly don't have. Everything you try to be you actually aren't. And she can pick it up, she isn't stupid. You're inauthentic - you want to fuck her yet make safe small talk. She can sense you're not congruent. That is creepy. You also want something to happen which is very far from the situation you're in, making you extremely needy. If you were a girl, would you be attracted to such person? Eww, fuck no. Then, all of a sudden, you ask her if she wants to kiss you. "Gosh, this guy is a social retard." Then you get defensive, ashamed of your sexual interest in her. And then you get reactive and basically lash out at not getting what you wanted. "What a baby". If you were a girl, you'd want nothing to do with that guy either. Pff. Who in their right mind would let such person's dick or any other body part anywhere near them? I hope this brings you some awareness. Note, I'm being purposefully provocative. Love ya, Markus

Yeah, I'd say you're right. You have personally experimented, so you'll know what's true for you better than anybody here. If it's not causing you problems you didn't have while on nofap, go for it. An interesting thing I think many ignore is that your brain will react to a "real" stimulus just like an imagined stimulus. If your imagination was vividly identical to porn, you'd suffer the same ill-effects. Hypothetically. It's the state of mind you enter and your technique of masturbation that has consequences, not the porn itself. It's just that the porn tends to trigger them. Also, your brain won't know whether you ejaculated from sex or jerking off. If ejaculation does decrease energy/motivation, which I find true to an extent, it'll do so regardless of how you ejaculate.

I'd say it's all a matter of definition, context, interpretation - and speculating about it is just yet another thing that gets in the way of real discovery. Whatever's true is whatever's true, inquire into it openly.

This is a terrible situation. Your dad, from what you write - he's emotionally abusing you. Period. You don't have to make excuses for his behavior. Based on what you write, my assessment is two things, and THIS IS VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT. 1) Your emotional issues are severe enough to qualify as mental illness. You need to seek psychiatric help immediately. There is no shame in that. 2) Staying in your current situation could kill you. I'm not familiar with what's going on in the US. But from the short research I did, each state has public mental hospitals available. They will not throw you out on the street. Take your needed possessions and go. Go now. Your life situation and mental health combined won't allow you to benefit from the techniques and advice the fellow posters gave. Ignore it. It's not important right now. What's important is to get you better. I don't know anything about the fellow posters but I imagine they have no personal experience with a severe crisis like this. I've stayed at a mental hospital. I was trying to push onward in med school while being seriously depressed. It was a dead-end that could've killed me. I needed to have the pressure taken off. When pressure's taken off you, and they get you treatment, you can start doing some research and personal development stuff, and figure out how to move on with your life Please get help and keep me posted. Love ya, Markus

Shit happens. To paraphrase Eckhart Tolle: if you don't like a situation: leave, change sth, or accept. All else is madness. People will treat you in ways you don't like. And you will treat people in ways they don't like. C'est la vie, get used to it Love ya, Markus

You're comfy where you are. You'd rather keep the status quo than make an effort to do things different. I've had a long history with this problem. You have to start babystepping change and commit fully. Otherwise you're gonna get nowhere in years - I know.

No, it's a waste of fucking time, and not what this forum's for. Love ya, Markus

An egoic dreams comes with a lot of justifications. A high-consciousness dream is an intuition. You "feel" what's right without rationalizing about it.

I've studied a few people's ideas on dream yoga and sleep yoga. They say that yogis who've burnt through their karma have clear light dreams, basically non-dual awareness without objects.

@Skenderberg "See what happens" is the core driver of everything they did in the Jackass movies, as well as many of the fails you see on Youtube. This kind of bullshit definitely doesn't belong on a self-actualization forum. You really don't need me to list all the things that could go wrong here, do you? Stay safe. Love ya, Markus

I don't think it's weird at all. If you examine all these different techniques, from self-inquiry, meditation to different self-help practices, they're all about making you more aware. There isn't really a contradiction. Especially with shadow work, which is absolutely about awareness.

Oh yes, absolutely. Unless you're legitimately doing inner work in that isolation, it's another escape.

I'm gonna call this shitty advice. Name one reason they shouldn't be doing both. And if they did only one, I'd still ultimately steer towards meditation. There's so much you'll never grasp if you don't meditate. I'm yet to do any real shadow work, have only been doing meditation, and there have been remarkable changes. Now, it did take a long ass time, over 2 years, before my meditation practice started to bear fruit in this area. My point? Don't be making false choices.

It's the same "thing". You can't get more infinite than infinity, because if you could, it wouldn't be infinity.

Why would enlightenment make flirting impossible? What's your logic behind that?

I think it's just a bunch of mental masturbation. What difference does it make? How does theorizing about a metaphysical basis for LoA make a difference to your life? Sure seems to me anything finite, including our planet, operates in a limited way.

This too. True, Sam is into moralizing but he makes a compelling case for honesty.