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Yes good one! I also love Aubrey Marcus' podcast. Pretty much the only one I'm listening to at the moment. In the past I listened to a lot to "This Jungian Life" and Russell Brands "Under the skin"

New video Let me know your thoughts, trippers of this forum

@Raptorsin7 Love it! That's really important work. Excited to see your journey unfold!

I know not identifying with the body would be a convenient way around all this. In my experience though, you can't meditate your way out of feeling unsafe, loneliness & eating disorder stuff. Trust me, I've been there & tried it for years. I thought that, if only I could meditate a little more, a little longer, I'll "pop out" of this illusion, get to "the other side of it" and none of that stuff will ever bother me every again. Just breathe through it, let it pass... Right? No. It didn't work. At least not for me. I had to take that spiritual nonsense of "identifying with who/what" and throw them out the window for a while, allow myself to turn to the parts of me that are so angry and hurt, finally take them seriously and really embrace the unsafe & hurt child that is still living inside of me. The one that never got any attention, so it thought no one would really enjoy spending time with her. The one who wasn't nourished & care for by her mom, so every time she ate, she felt like she was doing something wrong and threw up again. Striving for perfection in my body, intellect and even spiritual pursuits... Just to deserve to live because deep down I felt so unworthy. And believe me, I looked pretty regular on the outside. "Had my shit together". Years of yoga and meditation. I know you said you've done shadow work with psychedelics. Have you tried IFS? Or primal therapy? Inner child work where you take those feelings seriously, let yourself feel the hurt and acknowledge what happened to you is the most effective way I've found so far. I know it seems immature and counter-intuitive but oh the changes... I could have never meditated myself to the peace of mind I'm feeling after doing trauma work. Not that meditation isn't great. It is. I just found that it's pretty useless in working out underlying emotional patterns that are deeply engraved. I would meditate for an hour, then still eat a bar of chocolate, then still body check, then still feel shitty about myself & judge myself, forcing myself to let these thoughts go & then set a more rigorous meditation schedule. It's the other way around actually. You need to be brave now, go into them, totally identify as them, really feeling the hurt, and the tail end of that will be you not identifying with them anymore. But this takes some work. "The only way to go beyond the person is to get really personal", Matt Kahn said. Here's a great video of him talking about the feeling of being one with everything, and what it really entails: This!

"You can never have enough of something that almost works." - Peter Crone

Thanks! What are you planning to do?

New website, whoop whoop! https://www.mariagrunberger.com

New video on how media consumption is influencing your thinking and your creativity. Let me know your thoughts :-)

What if we all told the truth? We all constantly lie. White lies, barefaced lies, minimisations, exaggerations, bluffling, half truths and broken promises to ourselves and others. The university of Massachusetts found out we're all lying between 100 and 300 times a day. The most toxic of all lies though is withholding the truth. How many times a day are you holding back what you really think & feel in a situation? What's really going on inside of you when you're talking to a co-worker? And would you ever dare saying it out loud? Would you dare being so blunt? Coming across so immature? Risking your reputation? Most of the time, the answer is probably no. So we repress what's really going on. But what is repression really? And what are its costs? In repression, thinking, feeling and acting have to become disconnected and split up to keep going on independent levels. This is the original meaning of being split: We loose touch with our inner world, have lost the most important type of intimacy (the one with ourselves) and thereby are unable to create intimacy with other people in our lives. "We gate it away, stored as a memory with force, but it's never gone. Gating allows us to feel one way and act another. It allows us to be in contradiction with ourselves. The problem is that in becoming insensitive to ourselves we become insensitive to others." Arthur Janov. This is, in my opinion, the original cause of all self-esteem issues. It all starts with ourselves. Fear, lies and defence mechanisms are taking the place of authentic feelings and distort our perception of what's going to make us feel good. Some defend by fleeing into their heads, into fancy philosophies & spiritual concepts. Still others put activities in place to distract them from what's always trying to come to the surface. For others still, outside approval will suddenly become the most important thing in their lives. Whatever it is, we're under the impression that something outside of ourselves will give us the fulfilment we're looking for. As Brad Blanton so beautifully said: “When you are lying, when you are keeping a secret, when you are withholding information or feelings in any moment, you are always doing that to protect something meaningless.” How are you defending yourself against the inevitable force of truth? Whatever mechanism you have in place, your strategy will break down sooner or later. Are you still thinking about the discussion you had with your boss 2 weeks ago? Are you still angry at your mom for something she did 10 years ago? Are those stories still running in your head? Over and over again? This is the true cost of repression. Unexpressed feelings zap our energy like nothing else could. You feel the magnitude of that when you finally do decide to speak the truth. If that means talking to a friend or letting your unfiltered thoughts out on paper: Your body might start shaking, showing you what's been beneath the surface for so many years. If your body starts to respond though, you know, you're doing it right. And then you also get to know the hidden cost of lying to your own nervous system. Lies are literally killing us. So keep digging, further and further, and allow yourself to find out where all of this started. But the first key is honesty. Find someone today who you tell the truth to. There are few things more liberating than doing that. https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/what-if-we-all-told-the-truth

A recent insight of one of my clients. https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/fear-of-missing-out

Yeah I don't agree with his attitude and delivery at all.

Depression is real in the sense that it's a real response to the circumstances you live or have lived in, a coping-mechanism to keep the organism alive, a great way to protect the system from overflowing with pain. Whether that's past trauma, unbearable living situations, a hopeless future, or anything else... The depression does a great job at "pointing towards" what it is that needs resolve. So in that sense, it's not helpful to identify with it, as it's not personal. It's not "real", as in "part of you" or intrinsically "yours". It's a protection that can be taken off if the real issues are faced & transformed.

A quick update on what's been going on in my life lately & where I'm going https://the-inward-morning.com/journal/what-ive-been-up-to @Nahm I can't believe we've uploaded our first yt video ever on the same day and now, same day again after same 3 months break. You bet I'm gonna enjoy yours later with a good cup of tea All the love!

We've been excited about sharing our love live in more detail for some time now. Given the great ways in which our relationship is developing, we want to dedicate this journal to all the insights and stories that come our way and see how it feels to "go public" in that regard. We hope that, by being raw, authentic and vulnerable, we can inspire more people to get clear on the kinds of relationships they want and how to go about creating them. On here we'll talk about things like: Tantra How we approach polarity: Feminine/ Masculine Dynamics Doing workshops and coaching together Keeping attraction and love growing in a LTR Our journey to possibly creating adult content ? Sex stories Psychedelic sex stories / Taking psychedelics together Relationship advice: How to hold space, how and when to give advice, etc. How our past and contitioning is influencing our relationship and how we move through it together How we argue and fight Our favourite books How we open our sex lives: Threesomes, etc. Techniques and practices to have great sex (semen retention, etc.) Making long distance work Navigating being aspiring entrepreneurs together How to make a girl squirt How to make a boy squirt ? How to make a ginger squirt ??? How to know when you've found the right partner Synchronicities Our idea of how to meet / find / manifest love Practices we do (reading, visioning, values, etc.) Our approach to contraception Spirit babies ? and family planning How to get a hot witch boyfriend How to use coconut oil for everything How to use coconut oil for enlightenment etc. I'm not sure yet how much we're really gonna be able to post here as we're both quite busy people. But this is a first try of making our love life more public. Let's see how it feels. I'm excited. What we have is truly amazing. This journal should serve as a dedicated place to document and celebrate that. It's made to entertain and to inspire. Feel free to comment anything you want. We're both pretty open books. Let's go ☺️

Today's the day we're moving in together? Saying goodbye to endless nights on Signal, months without sex, hundreds of euros on plane tickets and covid tests. Life with you is such a trip, baby. Being with you really make psychedelics seem boring. Let's begin out lives together for real ?

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― Carl Gustav Jung

Memories, Dreams, Reflections.

Oh... Right in the feels <3 Reminds me of Khalil Gibrans poem "On Beauty" It goes like this: And a poet said, Speak to us of Beauty. And he answered: Where shall you seek beauty, and how shall you find her unless she herself be your way and your guide? And how shall you speak of her except she be the weaver of your speech? The aggrieved and the injured say, “Beauty is kind and gentle. Like a young mother half-shy of her own glory she walks among us.” And the passionate say, “Nay, beauty is a thing of might and dread. Like the tempest she shakes the earth beneath us and the sky above us.” The tired and the weary say, “Beauty is of soft whisperings. She speaks in our spirit. Her voice yields to our silences like a faint light that quivers in fear of the shadow.” But the restless say, “We have heard her shouting among the mountains, And with her cries came the sound of hoofs, and the beating of wings and the roaring of lions.” At night the watchmen of the city say, “Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the east.” And at noontide the toilers and the way- farers say, “We have seen her leaning over the earth from the windows of the sunset.” In winter say the snow-bound, “She shall come with the spring leaping upon the hills.” And in the summer heat the reapers say, “We have seen her dancing with the autumn leaves, and we saw a drift of snow in her hair.” All these things have you said of beauty, Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied And beauty is not a need but an ecstasy. It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth, But rather a heart enflamed and a soul en- chanted. It is not the image you would see nor the song you would hear, But rather an image you see though you close your eyes and a song you hear though you shut your ears. It is not the sap within the furrowed bark, nor a wing attached to a claw, But rather a garden for ever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight. People of Orphalese, beauty is life when life unveils her holy face. But you are life and you are the veil. Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

I once asked someone "How do I know I'm with the right person?" and he answered "When you don't ask yourself that question anymore."

@Waves Alright, thanks. The over arching one for me would be self-reliance: Going all in in letting my intuition guide the way. Bein completely honest with everyone in my life. Becoming my most authentic, unconditioned self. Other than that: Healing: Finding new healing modalities through pulling lots of different sources together. Seeing connections no one has seen before. Help people understand themselves better and live a better life. Entrepreneurship. Being financially independent by doing so. Sexuality: Building high levels of trust and intimacy, becoming very feminine, releasing all shame and holding back around sexuality: Sex is nothing thats has to be hidden. Tantra workshops, more reading and just trying stuff out, talking to other people about it and sharing freely. Open-mindedness: Understanding why people are the way they are and therefore releasing all need to judge. Life-long learning through books, courses, seminars, etc. Stage yellow thinking. Self expression: Expressing myself through art, music, dance, style, decoration, writing, poetry, photography, etc. Taking lots of time for these thing and publishing them. Sustainability: Having my own farm, knowing everything about gardening and growing most of my own food.

Is it only about financial investments? (Haven't seen the video)

@somegirl Everything you shared about your mom sounds uncannily familiar. Actually had goosebumps reading the descriptions. We have/had a very similar situation. I'd be more than happy to chat. Yes I'm fresh off primal and I totally recommend it. But even if that's not an option for you right now, it can be very alleviating to talk to someone who knows what you're going through. Just send me a message if you feel like having a call and we can make it happen Stay strong girl! And in the meantime: Your feelings about the situation are real and valid. Don't make up excuses for your mom.

Thanks Raphael!

Oh! Thank you so much. That was exactly the intention when making this journal and I'm glad it's coming across That's the dream Goodness me! Of course! Dead Can Dance must be in my top 10 favourite bands of all time. The range of music they cover is insane, and it always takes you on a journey. They're the best!

The Beginning Of Something New There has been quite a tug of war going on inside of me the past month. I still feel a little withdrawn and vulnerable from the Primal retreat. Some time is needed to get to know my "new self", the one that suddenly speaks up for her boundaries and feels equal to the people in her life. Coming out of this experience though, I feel more certain than ever that I want to "do my own thing" professionally. I'd like to help people break through limiting thoughts and emotions and realise why they're arising for them. There just comes a point in this whole "self actualisation" or "spiritual" journey, where you realise that more concepts and gurus are not gonna be the answer. If you don't learn to relate to what's inside of you, you're ultimately gonna stay unfulfilled, stuck and will continue drifting from one teaching or method to the next. "Getting real" was the real "growing up" for me; as in: finally taking seriously the intimacy my own inner world. Becoming the only authority in my life. Something started shifting then, something profoundly that I feel is responsible for the amazing people and circumstances I now have in my life. I'm beyond blessed, really. "Stop working on yourself. Start relating to yourself", as Matt Kahn would say. I'd love to find a way to guide people to do just that. So I've looked into coaching. I thought about taking a course, checking it out, to see whether I could make a difference in people's lives by doing that. Trying to retrace the path that I followed, I've actually been in the process of condensing all of the most important and helpful knowledge I've ever found in books, videos, seminars and trips. I'm currently going through all my notes and writings, digital and hand written, which feels like I'm digging for gold. I never looked at them much after jotting them down, but now it's like I suddenly know why I took all those notes. I know that there is something there, somewhere, that is useful and no one has found before. I can intuit that. I'm just not sure how I could teach that (yet). Or what it even really is. But it's definitely gotten my attention. The thing is, I have 0 skills in marketing and I don't know a thing about coaching. People tell me I'm smart, see connections quickly and they feel safe and not judged with me. So those are pretty good requirements. But all the practicalities have to be learned, so I'm down for investing into an online course. Wherever I looked, I felt turned off by the exaggerated marketing though. The quick promises and shady sales people really made me feel like I'm being pushed to purchase something that actually goes against my values quite heavily. I felt like I was about to sell my soul for stepping my foot into the entrepreneur scene of ads and manipulation. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Probably. But there's something there I really don't like. It feels wrong. And I've learned to trust that feeling. So I'm not buying a course until I've found something that feels ethically sound. The point of doing this is actually becoming a good coach, developing myself and creating a safe space for people to do the same. If I have to do anything shady for that, anything that is untrue, harms or exploits people down the line, I'm not doing it. It's not worth it. I don't care how much money it would make me. I've had money in my life. It means nothing at that cost. So that's where I'm at right now. Phew. Let's see where this road leads.