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@Shir Sounds like you’re not up for a loose relationship but that’s what he wants at the moment. Blaming him for not agreeing to your terms isn’t really fair, you’re simply not compatible. No right or wrong in it. I know us woman can get very emotional over these things but you have to take your emotions out for a minute to see this. You’re making up a very painful situation that has no possibility of turning out well. (At least not at the moment) You can’t expect him to put up with your emotional mess and be there for you if you’re not really together. That’s an exhausting thing to do for a man and he’s only gonna do it if he A) commits to you fully and B) even understands what woman need in these situations. If that’s not the case, you’re never gonna be satisfied with his effort. You want to feel good, and to do so you need exclusivity. He needs to explore being unbound for a while. It’s just not a match. Put it on the table and move on. There’s plenty of good men out there;-) Also, use the time alone to work on your jealousy, that seems pretty painful. What are you really afraid of?

I used headspace daily for a year at this point so I thought it would be a good time to write a review. Overall I loved it and can highly recommend it, especially for beginners. They cover mostly mindfulness meditations with body scans and occasional visualisations. Everything’s very well explained with little animations. The upsides: Very non - dogmatic and gentle Good build up on the techniques from the very basics to advanced Great variety of courses (sleep, anxiety, mindful eating, acceptance, prioritisation, relationships, kindness, transforming anger, etc.) New little ‘insight’ everyday Great overview on your progress That British accent;-) Only downside: All courses and daily meditations are max. 20 minutes. If you want more than that you can do a classic guided or semi- guided meditation but that’s the same everyday then, so not really worth paying for imo. Definitely get it if: You’re new to mediation and you wanna learn the basics You struggle to keep a regular mediation habit You want specific insights/ new perspectives on some of the topics mentioned above) A membership costs 95 € / year or 12 € /month. Anyway, if you’re thinking about it I’d say download the app and try the first 10 days for free. It will teach you the basics of meditation and you can see if you resonate with the overall approach of the app. Have a great day:-)

Pour out what keeps your mind busy that day 3 things to do today that will bring you closer to your goals 3 things you're grateful for

I started this journal when I reached an all-time low. It might end up being mostly music here. (7/10/19) Everyone gone. Now there’s just me. “My look My love My God They came from Pain” Nowhere to turn. My mind a mess. I’m in the middle of a car crash of thoughts in my head. Nowhere to start. Nowhere to go. I don’t even want to curl up in a ball. There’s just nothing now. “This too shall pass.” Yet every time I’m ‘here’ I could convince myself that this is the only true state there is. Nothingness. Here I am again. Like an old friend. It’s bittersweet. It’s not even sad. It’s nothing. Does anything ever even change? Ground zero. Except it’s not. I can’t move. I can’t go to bed. I can’t cry. So I write. So I start. Again.

Alright, so here's the deal. Something about not being able to delete comments on this forum makes me feel really uncomfortable. If we'd meet in real life, I'd probably have no troubles telling you anything about me. But something about my words being captured, frozen and then linked with me as a person... Feels so off. I've never been able to keep a social media account for more than two weeks. I stare at it too much, the I feel like it doesn't represent me and I delete everything. I love nothing more than walking around in a place where no one knows me. I like being on the outside, observing. Yes, I'm talking to you, account-less person, sitting behind the screen, checking this site for the 100th time, not daring to make an account. I've been there. The thing is, I basically change my mind about things everyday. What if tomorrow I'll think differently about something, and I'll sound like a child? I think this has a lot to do with perfectionist paralysis. It often keeps me from even beginning something, because in my head it's perfect, multi - layered, sound. And in real life it can never be. (I hope you can tell how even this post is carefully scripted.) Didn't think I'd still be so self obsessed. But hey, seems like it's still a part of me. Maybe someone else is feeling this way too. This forum feels like a pool of self assured, extraverted people, not afraid to throw around whatever comes to mind. Which is awesome by the way. Don't kick me out. I can learn lots from you.

@How to be wise I never claimed I did All I was saying is that it went away for some time. I never actually had any problems with my sex drive, it's just whatever for me, I go with the flow and I don't spend much time thinking about it. I'm with @enderx7 on this one, I think we all have different sticking points. Deep rooted stuff that shows itself in different forms but really, the forms are just the forms. There's probably more sameness than difference when it comes to this. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling, I wish you much strength! @Adam M Thanks for your kind words. It's not an actual problem on the outside, I eat a pretty clean and healthy diet. The problem is obsessive thinking and judging and making myself feel terrible about the smallest things. It's not about discipline at this point, it's about letting go. Don't know if that makes any sense. Working on it though. Can't wait to not spend so much mental energy on myself. It's exhausting

Just a little report from a newbie to all of this work. Maybe this post can serve as inspiration to those who are just starting out. A lot can happen in just one year. And it’s one hell of a ride. Definitely not what I thought it would be. What I thought would happen was just me becoming a ‘better’, ‘kinder’, ‘cooler’ person… little did I know What I did Mindfulness meditation (Headspace app, went from 5min/day to 20min 2x/day) Yoga (Vinyasa style, 15 - 50min/day) Journal + Gratitude list (everyday) Cold showers, Shamanic breathing, Self inquiry (On and off) I also read about one book a week, I eat a very healthy diet and I spend a lot of time outside. I move a lot, don’t watch TV and I spend a lot of time with family and children. I sleep enough. But that’s how I always kind of lived so, I’m not sure how much this influences my progress. So here’s some things that happened (Please don’t ask me why those things happened, I have no idea) The first months I went full on head-in-the-clouds. People told be that it seems like I’m not from this world anymore, way too soft, out of touch with reality. Everything just seemed kind of magical and new, not in an extreme way but that was the tendency. When I think back now, it’s like nothing could touch me. But not in a good way, I wasn’t so caring anymore of others. I just couldn’t ground whatever was happening to me so I became a bit (very!) floaty. Everything just seemed like a beautiful dream. I was becoming lucid in my dreams as well. But I didn’t know how to handle this state. I couldn’t explain it to others, I seemed to piss everyone off all the time. Then I noticed that I completely lost my sex drive. This went on for several months. I didn’t want to engage in sex at all but at the same time I felt my love for people was growing constantly. I started to see how sex actually hurts most people. It doesn’t give them what they’re really looking for and me giving it to them wouldn’t make anything better. (Sex drive came back in the meantime but it’s different.) Then, after about 5 months I found Leo’s videos, which gave me some perspective on the path I got myself on. It felt like that was the time when I finally sat down with myself and got honest about all the work that will need to be done and the pain I have to get through. Every video I watched made me aware of all the things I had to work on in order to become a grounded, centred and stable person. I worked a lot on judgement (I was sooooo judgemental! Still am, but it’s getting a lot better) and self esteem this year. Overall, meditation helped me a lot with calming and focusing my mind. My grades were excellent last year and barely anything can still get me emotionally wound up. I feel a lot more in touch with myself and present with others. Just for that alone it would have been totally worth it. All that being said, there were still things I couldn’t get under control and that hurt me a lot. I sort of developed a very unhealthy relationship with food and my body and no amount of mindfulness could seem to help me handle it. It actually got worse which felt terrible. I still haven’t found a way out of this. I felt on the verge of suicide for some time and I can’t really explain why. I felt like if I keep doing all of this, I’ll go totally insane. I remember watching Inception and crying because it was so relatable and I felt like the woman that will end up jumping out of the window. I never actually did anything but it was like something inside of me wanted to force me to stop moving in the direction I did. (Glad that period is over ) Just recently I saw for the first time how much I’m hurting people, ALL THE TIME. Literally everyone around me. Even with my thoughts. I’m just trying to get to the top and push everyone else down. This was the most painful thing to realise so far. I don’t even know who I would be without this ‘competition’. It’s all of me. Seeing that completely destroyed me. It seems like my life might just be one huge unconscious pattern and none of the things I considered ‘kind’ were anything but selfishness. (Including committing to spirituality) Also, little troubles that I thought about working on ‘one day’ suddenly appeared HUGE. Things I pushed under the rug, like family problems, piled up like a mountain I couldn’t go around anymore. ____________________________ I had a handful of really weird ‘awakenings’ I guess. I can’t describe it other than ‘merging with reality’. It was beautiful most times. Everything was so clear and I had tears in my eyes feeling for the first time what unconditional love meant. Everything was different but also the same. I’ve never been so peaceful in my life. I felt all my senses at the same time and if I didn’t look at myself, I wasn’t sure where my mind and body started and where they ended. They were always caused by either a lot of suffering or intense amounts of love. Mostly by being hugely disappointed in myself, sliding back into binge eating, feeling super lonely or terrible about the decisions I’ve made in my life. And suddenly, lying on the floor crying, there it was. They lasted from 30 seconds to several hours. Afterwards I realised that I’ve basically been sleepwalking all my life. But that that’s ok too. It was also terrifying twice- like my insides were torn out and death is in the room to get me. I still have those moments of sheer terror during self inquiry. Like reality is way too direct and intense for us to really realise and it suddenly seems like a silly idea to push beyond the ego which protects us so beautifully from being overwhelmed by this. What now? In a way I feel like I made so much progress and on the other hand I know there’s so much ahead of me. I’m still so immature in many ways. My monkey mind is still crazy most days. Sometimes it even seems it has gotten worse But less and less can I justify doing things I don’t enjoy and lying to myself and others. I’m overall a lot better, calmer and grateful in my everyday life. I have no idea where all of this will lead me. I’ll just keep doing what I did and try to be open about what is coming up. This year was crazy enough. It taught me that life is absolutely uncertain and no amount of planning is really gonna get you anywhere on this zig zag journey. I trust that whatever comes, comes. All in good time. Lately I feel like meaning is gliding away and like I’m erasing myself more than really developing myself. But that’s a different story… But even if nothing happens ever again, I know that God exists, which helps me through everything in my life. I now understand how God can be ultimate ‘solace’ and what is meant by saying ‘Never stop trusting God’. It’s gotten me through everything. Nothing will take that trust away ever again. "Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." There’s no way back now. ____________________________ Thanks for reading. Share your story if you feel inspired. Thank you @Leo Gura, your content truly had a big impact on me. Even though I want to slap you at times

@TrynaBeTurquoise I do but very rarely, and then from my parents chickens. I don't really want to purchase animal products where I don't know where they're coming from. Maybe I'll try the oatmeal thing once I have my own chickens Thanks anyway! @pluto Didn't know the iodine thing. I'll look it up. Thanks a lot

What's your opinion on eating soy everyday? My breakfast currently consists of oatmeal with blueberries, walnuts and hempseeds. I cook it in soy milk and put soy yoghurt on it. I wonder it that’s maybe a bit much soy if I eat that everyday? I work in the mornings and need a good meal with a substantial amount of protein to keep me going for several hours. When I did a bunch of research on soy some years ago I found so much contradicting information. I came to the conclusion that it’s probably fine as long as I don’t overdo it and I feel good eating it. Does anyone have other high(er) protein vegan breakfast suggestions? (Preferably on-the-go) I really can’t think of anything apart from soy milk and yoghurt. I love smoothies but now that it’s getting colder I don’t crave them as much anymore. I’m not a huge fan of protein powder but I also haven’t tried many, so maybe someone can recommend a good brand? Would love some input. Thanks everyone :-)

@pluto maybe that's true, I just know that I feel a lot more stable energy throughout the day eating a good amount of protein and fat. Woman need more fat too to maintain healthy periods. When I was eating high carb I had to eat every 2 hours and all the raw food gave me so much energy that I didn't know what to do with it anymore. So I quit that for now @Shiva thanks! I actually already knew most of that. Have you read 'How not to die'? You sure sound a lot like Doctor Greger Good stuff! I also love all the protein sources you mentioned, I have no problem making yummie recipes for lunch and dinner, my breakfast just seems to be very unvaried lately. @TrynaBeTurquoise thanks, I don't eat eggs though @Michael569 Great, I didn't know that. I always make sure I buy organic so I think it shouldn't be in issue. No recommendations for good protein powder anyone?

If anyone ever comes back to this thread: A lot has changed since I wrote this post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM1sUG7sRUI This video explains so much of my life. I like to leave no traces, ever. Maybe it resonates with anyone that feels the same way. But personality type is not an excuse. You can move beyond that, always. The cost of inaction is way too high. I’m never gonna achieve anything great if I constantly erase everything and hope no one sees me. I risk living a mediocre life, limiting my creativity and potentially holding back things that could help others. Jesus, I hated you so much for this comment. It was my first post on here and I almost wanted to quit again and blow it all up. (I’m sorry - don’t take it personally. I'm actually laughing right now about how upset I was) I’m glad I stayed, I learned a lot on here. The thing is, you’re right. Working lots around fear lately (with help of Leo’s videos) made me realise how hyper focused I am on myself. It’s all about me. Lots more work to do. It’s good to look back on a post like this and see how far I’ve come. I was like a scared kitten when I wrote this post. So much is changing all the time… Feels so good. In a way, just being posting on this forum is great exposure therapy. I have to overcome myself again and again. Note to self: Keep going.

The end of Leos' video about fear made me think of this quote that I wanted to share with you: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

Hemp seeds, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, walnuts & chia seeds are great.

The essence of mediation She's such angel. Thanks for sharing!

I think that's a very sweet message. I'd feel special if a guy made effort to write a note like that. If she's mature enough she won't take it badly and either accept or decline, you can't know yet. Go for it, I know you don't see it like that now but she's just one woman. I think the longer you wait, the more you'll put her on a pedestal and the more difficult it's gonna be. If it works, great. If it doesn't, you'll learn how to better deal with rejection. Remembering this will also make you more chill when you interact with her. Your life really doesn't depend on her reaction. It's ultimately good, the only mistake you can really make is doing nothing because you're scared. Good luck. Also, stop denying your own feelings. You're human, you need connections, you're attracted to a nice woman - nothing to feel bad about Of course those things are important to you.

@Consilience thanks @LeoIsMe69 no thanks

@ivoryI'm in a similar situation with my job at the moment. Great hours, lots of time off, easy money... But not my passion. I thought that would be great and I'll just put lots of attention in other areas of my life. But after only 3 weeks in I already notice how it's just not aligned with my values and how that rubs me a bit (more) everyday. So I'm happy it's just a temporary solution. You won't loose much by trying though. Being a nurse in itself isn't a good or bad job, it sparks something in some people while others can't even imagine how you could choose a job like that. Maybe it does work out for you and unexpectedly fulfils you in ways you didn't think. Or you're happy with just focusing on your free time. But for me it wouldn't work, I know that now. Think about it: If you spend half of your waking time on something that you're not really passionate about, how is that a good life?

@Bill W Too bad you don’t like Andy. They have a female voice now too, but only on some courses I think. I heard good things about Sam Harris’ app too. Maybe worth a try? Yeah it really works best for me when I make an effort and sit down to do that, and honestly I think most people need that. Yes you can mediate doing whatever throughout the day but you just won’t think of it if you don’t have a sturdy practice. Same with gratitude, it took months until it flooded my everyday life but it comes beautifully spontaneous the more you do it formally. Thanks for your input btw, enjoyed reading it. I’ve been meaning to buy Russell Brand’s book Recovery for a while. I’m interested in the whole program. @Knock @ThinAir Thanks :-) I’d say I was always very curious and realised quickly that people that never get out of their comfort zone usually end up with a boring life and a lot of fear. I love a good challenge and I just wanted to prove to myself that I can sit with my thoughts for 20 minutes and build up all kinds of routines. Most of my friends were also hyper rational and materialistic and I always thought that there’s got to be more to life. It seemed to unsatisfying not to know why we’re here and that it’s just a coincidence or a mistake. I noticed how how I feel changes my days and got into the whole LoA thing. I just felt that there are things that science can’t touch. I was still on social media a lot back then and of course yoga was just hip, so I got on the bandwagon. And of course my very stage green surroundings, good education, my loving family, books and yt videos always kind of pushed and supported my growth. In short: I got very lucky with my surroundings and a curious nature :-)

@Mada_I struggle with that myself and noticed though that after deep realisations, lash - out eating becomes worse. The first week or so after a really profound experience is especially challenging. I’m all back in my old self I thought I left behind. Maybe it’s distraction? Ego - backlash? (Leo has good videos on those topics) Or some kind of test as in: Are you loving yourself yet even in this state? Also, don’t kill yourself over some honey. I could be wrong but it seems like you’re having very, VERY high expectations for yourself. You’re setting yourself up for failure because you’re moving in extremes. Everyone eats chocolate sometimes, you might be obsessing over things just to keep your mind busy. Read up on ‘The middle way’ (Tao Te Ching). It’s too much to go into right now but basically you’re feeding both extremes with energy, which makes it impossible to stop. Maybe it’s not derailing your consciousness work, maybe it’s the exact painful and uncomfortable side of you you’ll have to learn to live and deal with. It’s not easy, everyone has some kind of addiction or weak spot that seems to ‘hold them back’. Others are obsessed with jerking off or TV or whatever. Just know you’re not alone. I just saw you’re so young and already starting with this work. That’s great! Don’t let perfectionism (or pride) ruin your path. When you have questions, ask them! And of course: get the basics right. Eat enough, eat regularly, etc. This video has some very good points too I find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnAlwMfB2S0 That's actually a quote from the Tao Te Ching: “Thus it is said: The path into the light seems dark, the path forward seems to go back, the direct path seems long, true power seems weak, true purity seems tarnished, true steadfastness seems changeable, true clarity seems obscure, the greatest are seems unsophisticated, the greatest love seems indifferent, the greatest wisdom seems childish. The Tao is nowhere to be found. Yet it nourishes and completes all things.” - Lao Tzu All the best!

Distraction is never a good idea. That way the child doesn’t learn to properly deal with their emotions later in life. It‘s a coping mechanism. They learn to suppress them and reach for games/ videos/ food (or whatever they were taught in childhood) later in life when they experience difficult emotions. That creates a lot of tension and stress. You should acknowledge your child’s feelings whenever possible. When it‘s not possible at the moment, the difficult emotions will still be expressed later and need acknowledgment then. Crying and difficult emotions are perfectly normal and children need room to express them. If you want them to have a stable emotional base for life, you need to let them know that whatever they’re feeling is ok. The question of whether it‘s a good idea to let kids stare at screens at an early age is a different one. I heard (and experienced in my surroundings) that it takes away creativity and initiative from children so I personally wouldn’t. But i guess it also depends on the content and frequency.

+1 +1 +1 @montecristo You find arguments and videos like this on all sides. People are different. Not every vegan thinks ‘if everyone just went vegan, all would be fine.’ A vegan diet needs to be properly planned. It doesn’t work for many people because they have no idea what they’re doing. They eat some fruit for breakfast and a salad for lunch and think that’s balance. Sooner or later you run into health problems if you don’t meet your nutritional or caloric needs, no matter the diet. There’s an argument to be made that, for a healthy eco system, we might need to keep some farmed animals but sure not that amount. If we want farming to be a closed cycle again, where one things feeds the other and we’re not relying on mono culture and pesticides, there could still be some animals. But you wouldn’t need nearly as much as we do now and people would need to cut back on their consumption a lot. Meat is a luxury item. My grand parents ate meat once a week. That’s the scale we’re talking, not several times a day which is the case for a lot of people today. Also, your appeal to nature fallacy doesn’t really work here. Just because you think it’s unnatural doesn’t make it bad - it’s called evolution. It’s also unnatural to sleep on a mattress. The solution isn’t always to go back. I have a tendency to defend ‘natural’ things as well though… It’s a bit tricky. I ask myself then: Is it really bad for people or am I just resisting change? 30 animals are killed every second in the US alone. That’s not ‘natural’. Can you imagine the amount of energy that takes and the waste it produces? In my personal life I’ve only seen people becoming better when going vegan. I think we can agree that most people benefit from eating more fruits an vegetables and less white flour and sugar. Don't worry about veganism, worry about the amount of junk food that is ruining people's health. And if it's different for you and you can't go vegan, good on you for finding out. There"s an ethical argument to be made but hey, you need to survive, no? If you have time and money to think about those things you’re already very lucky. Make the best choice you can with the information and means you have. Try to find a balance between self (health) and others (animals, environment). Then help others do the same. Going vegan isn't the end goal, it's a starting point. There’s a lot of other things you can do. But then again, diet is one of the biggest contributors to environmental change and we have A LOT more say in it than in other topics. You literally vote for the kind of world you wanna live in every time you go to the grocery store. Everyone cutting down on meat would make a much greater impact than another 2 percent going vegan I think. It doesn’t have to be so black and white. No one argues that it wasn’t necessary to eat mean for human life to evolve but we now move beyond that. Actually, about 20 percent of humans don’t consume meat (in India for ex.) and they sure aren’t the unhealthiest. Just my two cents. Now someone call me out on all my biases

This place is such a treasure because you can talk to real people about all the strange, good and bad things that are happening to you on this confusing and (often) lonely path. I’m very grateful for the kind of guidance that is offered here. It can be scary and confusing as hell for example when in one moment your entire life changes. You literally don’t know if you’re going through a psychosis or how you should still function in this world. And on top of that, there’s no one to talk to. Your friends and family often won’t understand and doctors would probably drug you if you told them what is happening to you. So here’s my idea: Why not introduce some kind of help line for these kinds of emergency situations? For people that are having acute and overwhelming experiences like deep realisations and awakenings. Just someone on standby that can offer their experience and a listening ear. There are ‘spiritual emergence centres’ all over the world for this purpose. Link: http://www.spiritualemergencenetwork.org The problem is, you’re probably not living close to one and maybe you don’t have the time or means to go there. So how about taking that idea but being able to talk to someone directly without having to go anywhere? Or maybe something like that already exists that I’m not aware of? When I lived alone and scary things started happening to me, I had no one to talk to. I remember I would scroll through the forum, unable to write a post, looking for something that could help me while actually just talking to someone face to face might have helped a lot more. Leo, you once said that you called a friend after you found out you just imagined your parents. A lot of people don’t have anyone to talk to in those situations. Ok, maybe it ultimately doesn’t help (because you’ve imagined him too, haha) but it was still a kind of first assistance, no? Yes, you ultimately have to save those things alone but don’t underestimate the power of human connection. Just knowing that something like this is available in case of emergency might give some people more courage to face those scary things. Obviously, everyone would have to respect that kind of service and not abuse it. And I’m not talking about having someone to get lost in philosophical discussions with. The forum (and everything else that is in written form, like book) is still amazing for self actualisation work. I’m really just talking about emergencies here. Obviously I have no idea how something like that would be actualized;-) I just wanted to get this idea off my chest.

@loub Go to bed before midnight Sleep enough (usually 8h, maybe you need more or less though) Don’t eat too late Eat easy to digest meals in the evening Eating more fruits and vegetables and cutting back on processed food will increase your energy in general Move enough during the day Avoid screens 1h before bed and also 30min after waking up Drink camomile tea before going to sleep Use your bed(room) only to sleep in it, not for other activities (watching movies, eating,…) Put your alarm far away from your bed so you have to get up to put it off Splash your face with cold water right after you wake up or take a shower directly Put on motivating music and dance if you’re still tired Do something you love in the morning:-) Consider a set morning routine to get you through the first hour or so

@Truth Addict Others have been there and it felt completely natural and fine. He doesn't judge, that's the difference. He's making a statement of his relationship towards sex at the moment. He will come back around and see the divine in sex and intimacy. He probably already sees it actually, there's just no desire to engage in it right now. Don't make a problem where there is none. I'm sure you mean well but it might have just been different for you. The way he describes it I recognise everything I went through myself and it was a very freeing process actually. One you shouldn't interfere with in my opinion. All in good time.

@Truth Addict You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s not ideas in his head, he’s describing his experience and it’s perfectly valid. @inFlow I’ve been there too. It took 6 months for me till my sex drive came back. I actually didn’t even notice for months because I was single. So there’s a good chance it will come back for you too, better than ever :-) When you’re detached you’ll actually really enjoy it for the first time. That’s what real freedom feels like. I’d say don’t pressure yourself in that phase. Sex just doesn’t serve you right now, so don’t push yourself. Let go of it for now. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re deluding yourself. Who cares about ‘true awakening’ or whatever, it’s part of your path right now. Trust your gut, it’ll be alright. It will probably come back but even if it doesn’t, don’t you feel more open and loving than ever? Isn’t that all that matters? But I can imagine it has to be difficult to explain to your partner. Sex is the easiest way to get back to the feeling of oneness. We’re all craving it. In orgasm, there is no separation. That is how the species is reproduced: through the experience of God. You’re with God already, that’s why you don’t need it right now. So you tell me: Do you ever get used to being with God? :-)