Hi Leo,
I came across you content about a month ago and have been watching your videos almost every day for the past couple weeks now. They have given me so much insight into the life I could lead and have really pushed me to start changing values and lifestyle habits I never thought were possible. I’m sure you already know this but it’s clear that your hard work has paid off, so thank you for sharing.
My name is Ashlyn and I’m 23 years old. I recently graduate college, moved to Arizona after living in ND my entire life, and am now venturing into the real world of trying to find my overall purpose while also reshaping myself into the person I want to become.
For most of my life I have dealt with generalized anxiety showing itself in many forms; low self esteem, comparing and placing myself below others, judgements of all kinds, and the basic feeling of being insecure with myself and the world around me.
I am writing this post because I have developed a bad habit of coupling my anxiety with sensorimotor obsessions. I have gone weeks and months not being able to switch my focus from sensations that irritate me: breathing in through my nose, the sensitivity of my mouth, uncomfortable feelings in my body, the tightness of my jaw and teeth, etc. While I have detached from many of my past judgements of others, I still seem to be judging myself.
This has caused me huge setbacks at work, in my relationships, daily tasks/conversations, and with my overall self development. I worry about how I look when I’m obsessing and how this is effecting others. I worry that in judging myself and focusing on these normal bodily functions in a negative way, I am causing others to do the same. I worry even when I’m alone that I won’t be able to stop obsessing. I am so tired of feeling uncomfortable and worrying about making others uncomfortable.
I try every single day to detach myself by being mindful of other parts of my body, focusing on sensations and things around me, positive self talk, etc. I have made the decision to be in this journey of self actualization for the long haul and I am willing to work hard and be patient. However, resolving this issue comes first and I need your help.
Are there any methods I should choose first over others? What videos should I start with? Is there a daily technique I can use while I work on the bigger picture? I am really hoping that I can overcome this anxiety without medication/expensive therapy but I will do what it takes. Please, if you have the time to read this and send some advice my way I would be so grateful.
