Bill W

This is unbelievable. What a fantastic gesture. I wouldn't have complained having to pay for this. Can I make a donation to anything as a thank you?

@Jkris Hi, I didn't read that thread. If anyone wants to know why a thread is locked they could speak to the moderator who locked it, but usually the reason is given at the end of the thread just before locking. They could always PM a moderator. They will point out the mistake/error and it can be corrected by starting a new thread or just dropping the issue. I think that's how it works pretty much? I think sometimes also threads get locked through no fault of the OP of the thread.

I hate this saying. I accept it has it's merits though. Also, I believe the term "choice" is a grey area somewhat. People can only "choose" something if they are aware and understanding of their options. It's like consent. It's not consent if the person doesn't know what they are agreeing to. My personal belief is that some people just don't know there is another way or many other ways to approach their life. I'm not excusing the need to take personal responsibility though.

I forgot about a cognitive technique of identifying your "demands". This is related to not being flexible and having beliefs and expectations that are out of touch with how the world and other people actually are. I love Albert Ellis' work for neurosis. It's simple and effective. He was a genius. YouTube him.

How to get rid of neurosis? Good topic. Getting rid completely is a lofty goal, but to start the ball rolling....... Also, I'm not talking about regular levels of the below attributes, I'm talking enhanced levels, levels that take time and work to get to, levels higher than the average person. Neurosis builds up through time and gets hard wired into the mind. It won't just go if asked nicely, you have to dig deep. 1. Courage & Faith as things will get worse before they get better and if you are looking for an easy way out, I don't think there is one 2. Self-honesty as if you fail to diagnose the real issues, you will fail to match the right intervention to them 3. Humility as you will need to give up being so important 4. Selection of behavioural and cognitive techniques which may include things like; meditation & mindfulness, education, eliminating substance misuse, overcoming avoidance, general relaxation, letting go of attachments, detachment from thoughts, developing new habits, letting bad habits go, identifying and overcoming the need for instant gratification. 5. Might need to identify a suitable mentor, sponsor, or therapist to help with steps 1-4 above. The neurotic is unlikely to achieve the above themselves. There are a lot of traps to side-step and negotiate. It's also especially hard to do number 1 on your own. I believe you need a power greater than yourself.

Hell no. Leo and the mods do a great job locking threads that require locking. If you have a thread locked, either heed the warning and advice or move on to another forum. Leo and the mods give plenty of opportunity for said person who had thread locked to learn from their mistake. I'd say considering the aims of this forum, Leo and the mods are very patient with many.

Real to you. Mostly you interpret your "direct experience" to mean something. You cannot escape that much direct experience is an interpretation and therefore subjective. Burning yourself on a red hot stove is direct experience. Not much interpretation if any is applicable. The direct experience is pain. I think this is what you mean. Only a tiny fraction of your direct experience can avoid being an interpretation and therefore subjective. It sounds like you are almost saying that you have managed to short-circuit your brain and stop it from making an interpretation of your direct experience. Why don't you tell us some of the things you have down as direct experience and we can let you know if they are subjective or not. EDIT: I think I missed your post above which may have partly answered my post, so this might not be relevant now.

Agree, agree, agree.

My favourite posts on this topic. I would add to acceptance that going to sleep at night not fearing tomorrow is happiness for me.

So when does something become slander in terms of your thread title and post? I've never heard of this guy anyway.

Is that what 5-MeO-DPT is? Self annihilation? Sounds extreme.

I love your honesty. You'll get there. You have heart. I am more speaking out loud here than specifically aiming it at you but I do wonder sometimes if people over emphasise meditation. I think it's crucial don't get me wrong. I think it's actually essential, but, I do sometimes sense a flavour that people think if only they meditated more or meditated all day everything else would get better. Not saying that's what you think. You haven't alluded to that at all. It's just that for me personally (and my journey is different to yours) if I was having a retreat I'd make meditation a big focus but not the entire focus. I personally think a retreat should encompass a variety of spiritual practices. Things like being in nature, connecting with like minded people, reading, self inquiry (not sure about this one though), exercise, watching an uplifting spiritual film can all be part of a spiritual holiday / retreat. You can say it's the ego stopping you. You might be correct, but perhaps you just weren't as committed and enthusiastic about it as you thought you were.

Agree with this. These churches and such places you list have no obligation to cater for your needs. If they have rules that exclude you then tough luck. That's life. There's got to be some places or a place that you will find accepting, you just have to keep looking..... Good luck and best wishes though, I don't mean to put you down or anything, I just needed to say this.

Bonnie Tyler be so proud of you. You are about to be rocketed into the 156th dimension.

Slight variations to basically the same thing (service to others); Asking someone if they need help with anything right now, today, or this week. Doing something nice for someone but not telling anyone about it. Helping someone and not expecting to be thanked for it, perhaps the other person doesn't even realise you have just helped them.

There are no benefits to stopping watching porn or stopping yourself from masturbating. It's just another thing us obsessives think will lead to a better life if we conquer it.

Great thread. I'm loving all this holistic psychologist material here and in the journal section of the forum. Reading about that day from hell you had, I can relate to it so much, it's like I wrote this thread myself! And by a strange twist of fate, you write about not asking the girl on a date and that you've been considering this for a while. I was given a golden opportunity to do this very same thing two days ago, and the timing of reading your thread is weird. I've been single for about 5 or 6 years now. And I've seen no "activity" in about 4 years. No dates. No sex. No kissing. Nothing in about 4 years. I'm getting more and more introverted as I go, especially around girls. I literally don't know what to do to progress things if someone shows an interest. Anyway, someone showed a lot of interest at a works training two days ago. I made what for me is taking the initiative and asking for her number to "stay in touch about work issues" as I put it. I'm such a pussy!!!! I'm seeing her tomorrow out of work, but the great thing is, neither of us are calling it a date. For me that's great, as I am a pussy that doesn't like taking risks with girls (major, major works needed on this). We are going to the gym and then I'm helping her with some tax refund stuff online. There's no pressure of it being a date which suits my lack of courage and guts right now . The danger in these situations is that my introvert nature and unwillingness to make the first move can be interpreted that I am not interested. The joys of social anxiety! Anyway, back to you. It's nice to get some more insight into you. I've been following a lot of your posts since I've joined the forum recently. You are on my VIP list Any chance of you coming across this girl again in the near future? The one you regret not asking out.

@flume That book looks awesome ?

Have you thought about using the mental health sub forum? Might get more support?

Nice share. So is this going to be a journal based on her approach and discussing her approach?

So many different answers. I think maybe my take could be a minority view. For me contemplation can be a form of meditation. For me contemplation is not looking for answers or trying to solve something. For me contemplation is deeply thinking and reflecting on something you have already answered or have read and agree with. I use this practice in my meditation. For example I might pick a short verse from the bible that inspires me. I will keep my eyes open if needed to read and re-read the verse. I will try to think of nothing but the verse and what it means to me. What is the essence of it? But I wouldn't say I am trying to answer anything. I am trying to embed a powerful short text. It gives a natural high when I do this. I try to become one with the text. For me you can't say meditation is not thinking. It's about how you try to deal with the thinking when it happens. It really depends on the type of meditation. Most people talk about meditation without clarifying what they mean and then that can lead people to think thay everyone knows what everyone else means when they say "meditation". This thread shows that many people meditate on their own unique way.

Jbram please excuse some if the tone above. I'm not angry. Perhaps I'm on the minority and not feeling impacted by Leo's management style. I've also not been on the receiving end of his tough love. I'd like to think it wouldn't bother me but who knows. I know your post above comes from a good place. Good intentions. You are a very thoughtful person. I'm just baffled why people expect Leo to cater for their individual needs so much.

This will sound heartless and not directed at you. If people don't like the forum they don't have to be here or as in my case you just have to get what you can from it warts and all. I don't even click with Leo. He has made some statements on things that to me that sound insane. But why should he have to make this forum more compatible with some people's desires? I agree with Leo that he is the teacher. Don't like his message? Go elsewhere, no one is stopping you. Or ignore him. I don't even really pay attention to him and I haven't got 3 hours to waste on videos that could be done in a reasonable length of time. But I still get a lot from this place. Leo doesn't even insist on much. He will let you use the forum and post even if you have no interest in his beliefs and ideas. All you have to do is heed the warnings if he is unhappy with your content. Fight him and you will lose. That's how it should be. That's life. He is the authority for this place. Not aiming this at you jbram Perhaps people can ask themselves "why should he?" for every single thing they think he should care about in terms of people's attachments to how this forum should operate?

Thanks for that @SriBhagwanYogi

Thanks. I've seen her on Ted Talks. She's great.