Bill W

Examples Leo? Not being defensive, just asking for some clarification. You may well be right. Have you been to many AA meets?

That's interesting. You speak on behalf of all these cultures and AA meetings across the globe or are you speaking just on behalf of yourself? Listen man, your view is just as important as mine my brother. I mean that. I just want to add that it's not my experience in AA. I and many others have overcome our addictions (to various degrees of course), and are working on our open mindedness, humility, gratitude, and kindness. We are undertaking a thorough examination of our character (which you could call Shadow Work) and trying to improve our quality of life and those around us. Speaking for myself and using my experience of others in AA I have close contact with, we mostly want to stop using fear as an excuse for dysfunctional behaviour. Many of us drunk on fear or took drugs to manage our fear. We were as AA says "self-will running riot". You have to appreciate SD is just another model, among many that have been and gone and many others will come and go. It has some uses but you are talking about blue, orange, red etc. Not everyone will use this currency or attach importance to it. Hell, a lot of us in AA will have never heard of it. I know Bill W (the real one not me) did LSD. How much of his LSD is responsible for AA being effective is debatable. Highly debatable. We simply don't know. I do know he was behind some of the best self-help literature and ideas I've ever come across. If the LSD helped this, then great. Leo is well meaning with his reference to AA and LSD but he is exaggerating his knowledge of how much LSD was responsible for Bill W or anyone in AA being "cured". He is making a big assumption.

I hear you on the taking action ethos. Re shadow work I've just started the book shadow dance by david richo that's highly rated. But it's early days in the book. My AA programme has a strong focus on the shadow as well.

Hello mate, My concept of God is more traditional than what gets discussed on this forum. I am certainly not God or a God. My belief is that I can access God and that God's will is much more worthwhile than my will. However, I also believe that the Kingdom of God is within me but only if I deliberately access it. God (my Higher Power) is external to me but runs through me. Nobody can tell me what God is and I cannot tell someone else what God is. Anyway, that's my stance and it works for me. Through AA I found God and for that I am massively grateful.

So tomorrow night we get to say to ourselves yet again..... "New Year. New Me" - I think this will be about my 23rd consecutive year of saying this, and I am still waiting for this "New Me" who never turns up. So tomorrow I was thinking of doing something different and saying "New Year. Same Me. But some minor adjustments". Perhaps that's a bit more realistic? I think Leo offers a compensation package to aggrieved partners with regards his flock who write journals on here. Your husband could probably claim? I think Leo pays $25 for every lost hour your partner experiences, and a lump sum $1000 if your partner leaves you. How did the procedure go with your Retina? The above is beautiful, did you make that up or sourced it from somewhere? I especially like the "I am protected by Divine love" part.

BIBLE I am new to the Bible. There are only 3 books of the 66 I've read from start to finish. Generally, I've been collecting versus as I go, but do intend to read the Bible in it's entirety. These are some of the my favourite versus thus far. I've divided them into three categories; GRACE, LOVE, FEAR, and OTHERS. Grace 1 Corinthians 10:13 - The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. NLT 2 Corinthians 5:7- For we walk by faith, not by sight. KJV Luke 17:21 - Nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” KJV Mark 8:34-35 - Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me (NLT) For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. (NIV) Philippians 4:8-9 - And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me do doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. NLT Psalm 4:4 - Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. NIV Love 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV) Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. (NIV) Proverbs 11:24-25 - One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed NIV Ephesians 4:2 - Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. NLT Fear 2 Corinthians 12:9 - Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. NLT Ephesians 6:11 - Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. NLT John 14:27 - “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid”. NLT Philippians 4:6-7 - Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. NLT Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding (NIV). Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. NLT Psalms 23:1-4 - A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (NIV) Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. NIV Others Isaiah 43:25 - I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again. NLT Matthew 18: 21-22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. NLT James 1:19 - Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. NLT Proverbs 11:12 - It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet. NLT Proverbs 26:27 - If you set a trap for others, you will get caught in it yourself. If you roll a boulder down on others, it will crush you instead. NLT

I am new to the Bible. There are only 3 books of the 66 I've read from start to finish. Generally, I've been collecting versus as I go, but do intend to read the Bible in it's entirety. These are some of the my favourite versus thus far. I've divided them into three categories; GRACE, LOVE, FEAR, and OTHERS Grace 1 Corinthians 10:13 - The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. NLT 2 Corinthians 5:7- For we walk by faith, not by sight. KJV Luke 17:21 - Nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” KJV Mark 8:34-35 - Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me (NLT) For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. (NIV) Philippians 4:8-9 - And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me do doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. NLT Psalm 4:4 - Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. NIV Love 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV) Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. (NIV) Proverbs 11:24-25 - One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed NIV Ephesians 4:2 - Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. NLT Fear 2 Corinthians 12:9 - Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. NLT Ephesians 6:11 - Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. NLT John 14:27 - “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid”. NLT Philippians 4:6-7 - Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. NLT Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding (NIV). Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. NLT Psalms 23:1-4 - A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (NIV) Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. NIV Others Isaiah 43:25 - I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again. NLT Matthew 18: 21-22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. NLT James 1:19 - Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. NLT Proverbs 11:12 - It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet. NLT Proverbs 26:27 - If you set a trap for others, you will get caught in it yourself. If you roll a boulder down on others, it will crush you instead. NLT

The realisation that God is in charge and I am not. This I learned, and continue to learn, through my participation in Alcoholics Anonymous.

I hope that the plan does not involve us being the first life form in the universe to successfully blow ourselves up in a nuclear Armageddon. Sometimes I wonder if Earth is an experiment gone wrong. Reminds me of a tongue in cheek comment I read once which made me laugh, "There was a God, but he left". I mean if you were the Creator and you made Earth, would you take ownership of that, or walk away and tell the other Creator's "it's not mine, never seen it before in my life?"

Not a good one, take a look at some of my recent posts on this journal if you have the time, you won't have to scroll too far back. Within the past 7-10 days I have written about it. It's work in progress like the whole of my life

Honest admission: Still focusing way too much on theory here, but it's so enjoyable to sit in theory mode. It feels productive, comfortable, and bloody relaxing So, with that disclosure out of the way, here is a list of my Top 14 Books, in order of what has been the most insightful and useful in terms of my journey to wellbeing as I will call it. I've highlighted the top 3 because these three were a full on amazing experience. 1. Letting Go - David R. Hawkins 2. The Buddha Said - OSHO 3. The Mastery of Love - Don Miguel Ruiz 4. The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz 5. Alcoholics Anonymous Text (The Big Book) 4th edition 6. Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions 7. Meditations – Marcus Aurelius 8. Dancing With Life – Phillip Moffitt 9. Life Strategies - Dr Phillip C McGraw 10. The Chimp Paradox - Dr Steve Peters 11. Recovery - Russell Brand 12. Divine Therapy & Addiction - Thomas Keating 13. Peace is every step - Thich Nhat Hanh 14. The Success Principles - Jack Canfield

@LfcCharlie4 I was half cringing when I typed that to you Charlie as it felt like "friendly fire" Lol. Yeh, I know you come from a good place with your content on here. I just saw a little bit of "recruiting" activity in your content with getting others involved, but like you said, you wanted a second opinion. I'm sure V8 is big enough and ugly enough to handle himself and I've never interacted with him, but if he was a vulnerable person he might have felt victimised, but he never asked me to be his guardian angel anyway lol. I'm trying not to get involved in anything on here that doesn't concern me, as it's a distraction, but as you know, old habits can die hard! Anyway, carry on, nothing to see here

@Danioover9000 Thanks for taking the time to type that. My involvement here is pretty pointless. I'm trying not to get involved in any topics that do not concern me but it's work in progress! I've probably been quite lucky to have no warning points. I got a friendly warning and no points for a link I put for an Amazon product but that's about it. Anyway dude don't let it get to you. Enjoy the forum for what it is. Take the good and leave the bad. Easier said than done sometimes I know. The Mod's have always dealt with things well from what I've seen, but I appreciate your different experience here.

@LfcCharlie4 Charlie you been really helpful for me but speaking from an observer it doesn't flatter you that you are going after this guy so much. The V8 dude. You even trying to get others into threads to get involved in your corner. I don't see him doing that. I'm just saying that it reads a bit obsessive from an outsider looking in that you are so zoned in on him. I know there are things he says you find baffling but so what? Live and let live man. If he's being out of order the mods will sort it mate. I'm just giving feedback how it looks. I've noticed so others might have as well mate.

So has something rattled your cage that you felt the need to resurrect this thread?

I loved the Russell Brand recovery book. It was one of the reasons behind me joining AA. My writings about letting go were based on david hawkins but perhaps alan watts says similar? Anyway, glad you took something from it ?

@Nahm Thanks for this recommendation. I watched it last night. Powerful. For me, the main theme was love. That boys relationship with Rubin Carter was all about love, and all of them then moving down to where the prison was to support his court appeal was all about love as well.

I like it. But also, it's interesting you mention family as there is that famous quote from Ram Dass along the lines of... if you think you are enlightened go and spend a week with your family ? I know you think your brother handles family better than you, but still keep in mind that dealing with family can be hard, no matter what level of development you have reached! I'm working hard on this with my father and sister. If I don't make progress quicker my dad may well be dead by the time I reach a good level of acceptance and less judgment of him. It's crazy. But we are human. I'm trying to transcend these misdirected animal instincts of mine which is largely my ego.

In this journal, I like post word for word some of my favourite passages from my favourite books. These are things that resonate with me on a massive scale, that I try to action and implement in my life. So far in this journal I've posted the following Meditations - Marcus Aurelius Dancing With Life – Phillip Moffitt The Buddha Said - Osho All 3 can be access via the below link Now it's time for book number 4 which is LETTING GO by DAVID R. HAWKINS. This is a lot more words than I've used for the previous 3 books. This is because Letting Go is incredible. Mega powerful read for me. David R. Hawkins - Letting Go The Pathway Of Surrender • It takes courage and self-honesty to see the smallness in ourselves. Only when we can acknowledge that we’ve inherited this from the human condition will we have the possibility to surrender and be free of it. By accepting it, we can transcend it. • Because there is a progressive decrease in anxiety and negative emotions, there is less and less need for escapism via drugs, alcohol, food, entertainment, and excessive sleep. • Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. We can pursue an endless variety of activities, many of which eventually become addictions as our dependency on them grows. There is a progressive loss of awareness and an arrest of growth. The halting of spiritual growth includes a loss of real interest in others. The projection of these repressed feelings results in social problems, disorders and an increase of character defects, including selfishness. • All thoughts are filed in the minds memory bank under a filing system based upon the associated feeling. They are filed according to feeling, not fact. • Fear of life is really the fear of emotions. It is not the facts that we fear but our feelings about them. • Positive feelings flow naturally when negative feelings are not in action. Nothing needs to be done to acquire positive feelings, as they are part and parcel of our natural state. The positive inner state is always there and is it merely covered over by suppressed negative feelings. When the clouds are removed the sun shines forth. • Ignore thoughts. They are merely endless rationalisations of inner feelings. • The greater our attachment to that which is outside of ourselves, the greater is our overall level of fear and vulnerability to loss. • It is interesting that the egotistical part of the mind is willing to sacrifice the whole remainder of a person for its own sake. • Blame is the world’s greatest excuse. It enables us to remain limited and small without feeling guilty. • We have to surrender our payoffs, one by one. • Once we see pride for what it is, it is one of the easier emotions to surrender. The real answer is merely to let go of it by examining its true nature. We can ask ourselves: What is its payoff? For what does it compensate? What do I have to realise about my true nature in order to let pride go without a feeling of loss? The answer is rather obvious. The smaller we feel within, the more we have to compensate for an inner sense of inadequacy and unimportance. • The power of self-healing is now available. • Repressed and suppressed feelings require energy to keep them submerged. It takes energy to hold down our feelings. As these feelings are relinquished, the energy that had been holding down the negativity is now freed for constructive uses. Consequent to letting go, there is an increase in available energy for growth, production, and relationships. • As one fear is relinquished, all fear is diminished non-specifically. • Let go of what you get out of it (the payoffs). • The process of surrender continues ever more deeply, as we let go of all doubt, all belief systems, all positions, all opinions, and all attachments. • With humility, we are willing to relinquish our perception of a past event. We can do this surrendering the payoffs we get from keeping our perception of what happened. • High levels of functioning are not only possible, but they are an inherent birth right. They are the natural state of which you have been deprived by all the programming that the mind has been subjected to since birth. • There comes a time when you do whatever practice you’re doing without exception, all the time. The devotion to the truth becomes overwhelming. It isn’t that you are driving it. You’re being pulled by your own destiny; it is by your own karmic commitment that you’ve chosen the ultimate destiny. You surrender and let go of everything at the very moment it arises. So, every feeling, every thought, every desire, you let go at the peak of it. This becomes continuous, nonstop. • So, serious spiritual work is a continuous willingness to let things go as they arise. It is the willingness to surrender wanting to control everything as it arises, the willingness to surrender wanting to change it, and to have it our way. • This means that you cannot make an exception here, or an exception there. It means continuously, and with everyone and everything. The one or two things you hide behind probably represent a stack. That’s why your hanging on to them. It’s not just this annoying person you hate; they represent a whole stack of that energy to you. You can’t just skip over your mother-in-law! • All lower emotions blind us to the reality of our true Self. As we surrender our way up the scale and near the top, a new type of experience begins to happen. Our new level of awareness and consciousness becomes self-evident and stunningly obvious. • Handling a crisis from the emotional rather than intellectual level will shorten its duration dramatically. Until the underlying emotion is surrendered, the thoughts will be produced endlessly. • Before reading on, it is advisable to sit quietly and make an inner decision to let go resisting higher levels of functioning. This means to make a decision to stop denying the higher levels to yourself and to make a decision to let go of all blocks to happiness, success, health, acceptance, love, and peace. The whole experience will now automatically begin to unfold. • We can see how others were programmed just as we were. They, too, were doing what they thought was best at the time. We don’t have to blame them or ourselves anymore. We can give up the whole blame game as obsolete and ineffectual. • Anger also progressively diminishes so that even a major provocation fails to elicit it. • Pride blinds us to so many things that would be profoundly beneficial; to a prideful mind, to accept them would be inferring that we are wrong. Pride prevents us from seeing what is totally obvious. People die by the thousands because of pride. They literally give up their health and life itself. Addicts and alcoholics will go to their death because of the denial inherent in pride: “Other people have the problem – not me!” • There is certainty that our own personal needs will be met; therefore, there is a shift in relationships so that the focus is on the welfare and happiness of others. • That which we freely give to life flows back to us. Every gift returns to the giver. What we affirm in others, we actually affirm in ourselves. • Since all judgment is really self-judgment, we have liberated ourselves in the process. • All emotions toward others involve the basic belief that we are incomplete within ourselves and, therefore, others are viewed and utilised as a means to an end. • The prideful person is constantly on the defensive because of this vulnerability. Conversely, the humble person cannot be humiliated for they are immune to vulnerability, having let go of pride. We let go of our need for validation or to prove ourselves right. The challenges against us fall away. • Pride is no longer valued. It is seen as weak. Pride is thin ice, a poor substitute for that rock-like, real strength that comes from courage, acceptance, and peace. • The truly humble are immune to humiliation. They have nothing to defend. Instead, the truly humble person sees the critical verbalisation or behaviour by another person as merely a statement of the other person’s inner problems. There is nothing to be offended about and no need to react. • Pride carries with it a desire for recognition from others and, consequently, there is a vulnerability to anger and disappointment if it is not forthcoming at some point. • Pride gets us boxed in and trapped. Beginners mind and open mind means we are admitting that we are not in possession of all the facts, and we are ready to change our opinion as the situation unfolds. • Out of humility, all opinions about others are surrendered. In a certain way, nobody can help being other than what they are. Love knows this truth and takes no position. People are seen as simply “limited” and not “bad” or “unlovable”. • There are a lot of payoffs to blame. We get to be innocent and enjoy self-pity and someone else gets to be guilty. • It is very effective to surrender our expectations of others before we enter into a particular situation with them. Emotions are really subtle attempts to force others and impose our will on them. • Are we willing to let go of the cheap little payoffs we get from blaming others and let go of the sympathy we may garner from those that listen to our complaints.

Anything by thich nhat hanh

Action Review of above I did do 10 minutes on 24 December. It was mindfulness using the sound of traffic. I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, back to the wall, eyes closed. This has usually worked quite well for me, but I found myself letting my attention rest on other things for too long before i tried to bring my attention back to the traffic noise. It felt reasonably good though, to have done it, to have tried. However, on 25 December I literally didn't bother, I told myself I am too tired, just at about the time I was going to do it. This is a lesson I keep having but not integrating. Don't leave meditation until too late in the evening. It is supposed to be focused activity (well that's how I want to use meditation). It's not something really to be done last thing just to "tick a box". On 26 December, I did 8 minutes. Couldn't even be bothered to get to the target of 10 minutes. I did 8 minutes of what I call prayer meditation. I read prayers very slowly, trying to feel the essence of the words and meanings. Didn't feel anything. Going through the motions. 27 December, didn't do any. So 4 days, involved 2 sits, and a total of 18 minutes. Useful though, as has led to a period of reflection. It's also introduced a small element of accountability which I like, by documenting my progress on here. I'm going to reset the activity just as it was. The goal is 4 consecutive days of meditation practice that involve a minimum of 10 minutes per day. To cover the days of 28 Dec, 29 Dec, 30 Dec, and 31 Dec.

You might find this of use? I've just started the book Shadow Dance by David Richo and I quote word for word a small extract. "We are cursed to act out the dark and desperate scenarios of the shadow as long as we keep believing is is supposed to be killed or canceled. Like cathedrals and forests, metaphors of the psyche, we are never finished although always whole. That is wonderful news, since something complete can still be made from unfinished things. In fact, our lively energy, our life force, depends directly on our being whole but not on our becoming perfect".

Perhaps on a positive note this motivates you to socially connect and have meaningful relationships. The other side is you might run the risk of depending on it. "You are already whole and complete" - Is that really true? 18 months ago I'd have said the above is false for 99% of people. It would have sounded arrogant to me that someone is whole and complete. Now I think all of us are more whole and complete than we could ever imagine. Completely whole and complete? I'm not sure on that. The last 18 months have taught me there is more to surrender, let go and jettison than I ever imagined and there is less to get, gain, and acquire than I ever imagined. Not sure if that helps you. I think I'm trying to say that the more shit you let go, the more whole you feel. It's there! The sense of wholeness. It's just buried beneath all the crap. Crap habits. Crap thinking. Crap behaving. It's beneath the self centred part of us. Remove the clouds and the sun will shine.

Some great questions but the thread title is not especially related to the content of your post? Or perhaps it is but I am not seeing clearly! Ah I think I see what you mean maybe? You getting people to think if their purpose aligns with the bigger global picture? What Does The World Need Most? God What is your life purpose? Less fear. More faith. More peace of mind. A side effect of this is better service to myself and others. What are you interested in learning? How to achieve the above! What are you sticking your neck out for? Not a lot to be truthful. Why are you creating what you are? As per answer to life purpose What is the most important thing to do in the world right now? Me? Or us all? Me is to work on my life purpose and us all is to stop taking things personally

How about posing the question to yourself of... what makes someone whole and complete? and then posing a second question of do I have that? Good topic. I had more to say but will see how this pans out a bit first.