LittleMaslow

@Chi_ Thank you for this reply, that clarifies a lot of questions I've been having. I guess it's now just a matter of deciding which path would be best. I know I'd benefit from a practice that brings consistent feelings of well being since I've been depressive and bitter for much of my life so I like elevating my baseline up from pessimism, low self-esteem and other delusions. Shamanic breathing is also having a positive, purging effect on me in that department, too, but I like the non-reactivity and stillness that I'm already noticing from kriya. Would you recommend combining Sadhguru's Shambhavi Mahamudra into a kriya routine based on Lahiri's teachings (like those found in the Kriya Secrets book) or would that just be too much cross pollination?

I'm in the same position that you're in. I have the opportunity to go to this retreat in the next couple of weeks and while its intriguing, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to jump from Sadhguru's kriya to the kriya recommended in the book list. I've been practicing kriya from the book list books for the last two weeks and I already feel a change happening in my general level of calmness and clarity, but a lot of people say Inner Engineering is a fantastic course, though, so I'm considering it.

Everyone is going to have a different opinion on how to get over this, so here's my two cents. First, watch Leo's video "Awareness Alone is Curative" and soak up the lesson that just observing yourself doing unwanted behaviors can help you overcome them. Then, using this idea, the next time you watch porn and fap to it, be mindful the whole time of what is happening and don't allow yourself to go unconscious while you're doing it. Notice every thought in your mind and sensation in your mind without beating yourself up and judging yourself for your behavior and go through this process of awareness every time you're using porn. You'll start to notice how disgusted you are with yourself and start gradually letting go of it. I didn't realize it at the time, but simply being aware of my behavior while I was quitting smoking and how disgusting I felt while I was smoking made it much easier to cold turkey, flying elbow drop my smoking habit. Nextly, if you're familiar with the Sedona Method or David Hawkins's "Letting Go" technique, be aware of what emotions and sensations are happening within your body before, during or after using porn. Literally have a conversation with your emotions and be curious about what you're feeling, where it's coming from and don't try to escape from it by getting distracted with your addictive behavior. You'll find that your emotions will "speak" to you because part of your psyche wants and needs resolution. Hear it out until the sensations go away and do that repeatedly. I've gotten over A LOT of fears and addictive bullshit by just listening to my emotions and releasing them. Lastly, you could also try unplugging from the Internet for a few days or a week (if you're in a place in life where you can do that without fucking up your work obligations). Just sit around and use something like the "Do Nothing" meditation technique and let thoughts, sensations and urges flow through you. I've noticed in myself that my past addictions have all kinda circled around that idea that "All of humanity's problems stem from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone" and that the cure is literally sitting in a room alone and letting urges pass through me. I'm pretty sure all of the ideas in my post are coming from Leo's videos so I'm just passing along things I've tried and found useful so hopefully some of this will help. As with any advice, try it out and see what's useful to you personally and throw out the stuff that doesn't work for you.