Gadasaa

@susanyzm beautiful way to see it!

Ironically, something very beautiful and strange thing happened to me last night after writing this post. i was contemplating on the infinity aspect of Reality and got a little glimpse of it for the first time In a calm and more accepting way! Earlier that day this concept of infinity almost gave me a panic attack due to the finite nature of my mind and it seeing infinity as a threat. However, that grasping of the infinity in a healthier way later that night, immediately put me into the present moment for the first time in almost 20 years. Just Wow. So much peace, love, joy and aliveness rose out of the moment and the consciousness came forward and my thoughts stepped into the background as where they should be and i got why everything has to be the way they are on a very deep level. Not on conceptual but on non conceptual, "being level." Ultimately, i understood that mind is much weaker and possibly the wrong tool to understand the indescribable and mysterious nature of Life, God, Reality. It's useful up to certain point and then it must be dropped if you want to experience the Tao directly. Lastly, one thing i kept telling my self last night was that i don't want to lose this state in the morning and the good thing is that i'm way more calmer and anxiety free and joyful this morning in a long time. ?

God, the substance of all things takes on my particular individual form in this life time, the shape, memory, history and personality that makes me the avatar i'm today. So, it's obvious that as the substance, i'm eternal and infinite but as this individual, i'm temporary and finite. But which one are you really? if you think carefully. If we follow the logic of oneness, doesn't that mean God experiences you only once and that's it. After this form dies, it just moves on and creates another new form and experiences it, thus giving birth to a new human being. So, to me, it seems followings statements are both true. You're eternal and you only live once.

@VeganAwake I understand that our ego is a mind construction, and no more than bunch of thoughts. However, i don't support the idea of reality being illusion. It is what it is. Some people choose to call it illusion and other call it reality. After all everything is made of God, and God's the realist thing that there's.

Can the mind understand or know reality/God and figure it all out? Does it have the capacity to do so? Whenever i contemplate deeply, my mind agitates and gets confused even more.

I can sense the truth in your statement!

I hope so.

@Serotoninluv thanks for the reply. I've never thought it that way. It seems like there are many other ways to know/understand a thing other than through conceptualizing.

@VeganAwake i agree that being comfortable with unknown offers tremendous peace. But doesn't that also make you ignorant and delusional like most other people?

@Scholar Leotl ?

Last night, I had a dream. In that dream, I was having some interesting conversation with bunch of people about dreaming. I was explaining them that when you're in a nightmare and you don't know it, it's really scary however, once you realize that it's a dream, then all of sudden fear goes away and you start to have fun by fighting and killing whatever it's that you were being chased by and some of those people were nodding their heads and laughing and all that good stuff, and then i woke up and realized that it was all dream. Those people in my dream, seemed real individuals that had their own opinions independent of me. And then, I thought what if real life is just like that, and all those people and my loved ones are just my own dream or imagination as Leo put it in one of his videos. It's freaking me out a little bit now. If i ask some one, am i dreaming you, he or she will say no, but that's still my dream saying to me no, you're not dreaming. I feel like i won't make my way to enlightenment or understanding reality through thinking, in fact, thinking is making things worse, freaky and scary. However, if i go with Eckart Tolle's teaching, which is about not thinking and being still, it gives me lot of peace and real connection to reality. Will thinking enable me to find the truth or will it get me lost even more?

I have two main conflicting desires in me. Desire for success and money. But, i also want peace and spirituality. How can i reconcile them? Is it possible to pursue both at the same time?

@VeganAwake Good to hear your thoughts! I'm planning on doing both until i fully realize the importance of spirituality. Once that happens, and a decent level of financial freedom is achieved. i'll go from part time to full time in spirituality .

Today, I felt so light and positive after my meditation. I also realized the absurdity of having to think all the time. I'm beginning to understand that, to be at peace, one totally has to accept everything as they are. Total acceptance is the key to being at peace and one with life.

@Mu_ That's cool! How long have you been meditating? and how often and how long per session?

I had an intense fear of death today. As i was working out, i felt a shooting pain in the left area of my chest and it led my mind to all kinds of negative and depressing thoughts about death. Do you have fear of death? Leo. How can one overcome this fear or reduce it significantly?

@Pauline Bureau According to Eckart Tolle, we shouldn't even label our thoughts and feelings. Just notice them. Why? If we start to label, we're using the mind to stop the mind itself which will never work. It's like trying to stop running by running. You see.

@tedens probably.

@ajasatya Well, that just shows how powerful and deep enlightenment is. How long have you been on this path and what are your discoveries so far?

@exhale @OctagonOctopus @ajasatya @CreamCat @Preetom @tedens @abrakamowse @ahmad ibdah Thanks guys for your opinions! I'm just so glad that i've found likeminded individuals like you. And, so grateful for actualized.org and the work Leo does.

@Leo Gura Thanks for the response, Leo. Yes, I believe the enlightenment is the way to overcome this fear. I've started meditating 1 hour a day and i seem to be becoming more calm and focused than before. If i do this long enough, let's say 1 year, will it get me a taste of what enlightenment is like? What is the minimum requirement of meditation, self-inquiry, and trip for awakening?

Depersonalization is totally different than No-self. I believe i'm a credible source when it comes to discussing about DP. Because, I've suffered from Depersonalization for over 13 years. It's a result of excessive stress. When i was thirteen years old, I started to have panic attacks out of nowhere. I was having at least 2 to 3 panic attacks per day for six months ( i was taken to hospital and stayed there during all that time) and no one knew what was happening to me. At the time, in Mongolia, no doctor knew about psychology nor cared about it. So, basically they thought that something was very wrong with my brain. It was too much for a young developing mind and I got into full-blown fight or flight mode. I started to think and worry about my own death 24/7. Too much thinking and stress took a toll on me and began to cause Depersonalization 24/7, which was really scary feeling. One day, i remember looking at my two hands and rubbing them together, thinking to myself, are they my hands? because it felt like i had rubber gloves on which was preventing me from completely feeling the skin of my hands. It was so frustrating. As the disorder progressed, it made me even more anxious and in turn, more anxiety cause even more DP. Everything became lifeless, 2 dimensional, and unreal. Imagine looking at life through a computer screen 24/7. Life was magical and wonderful for me before all of it happened. Depersonalization equals a brain that's too too too tired from thinking, and got depersonalized and thinking that it can cure the condition by thinking even more. Of course it never works because thinking, itself is the cause of the problem. And, the vicious circle goes on until you get the luck to learn about it.

Earlier today, I was at park with my three year old. I was laying on the grass underneath a tree and was listening to Leo's new episode "What's the Point of Life?" while my kid was running around and playing. When Leo said something like, if you destroy yourself as form and become Godhead, you'll end up exactly here, there's nowhere to go. And then, I suddenly kind of realized why he always say in his episodes that everything is happing in nowhere and in emptiness and it's all imagination. I kind of got the idea that everything really happening in nowhere and its all imagination, but not just an imagination, an imagination that's "REAL", yet imagination. All of what i've been seeing and experiencing my entire life is being imagined in nowhere, in nothingness. I know that Leo has said it countless times, but finally, i kind of starting to see the point of what he was trying to say. Has any one else had this realization?

@SQAAD Totally agree with you, man! The conditioning or programing the society in which we live has done to our mind, literally dictates our whole life and how we see reality.

@Shaun If you contemplate on his teachings long enough. It all makes sense! If God is all alone and only thing that exists, and has infinite power to do anything. Of course, there's nothing for it but play to games with itself. To experience something as new, it has to forget that it has experienced it before. To make me and you as ourselves, it has to or we have to forget that we are god. Pretty profound, isn't it.