@SamC Watch Mike's in-field videos:
https://www.pickupalpha.com/video/
This is the most realistic presentation of how night game and club game works.

Not having balls, not kissing her is how you ruin a date.
Of course only kiss her if you feel she is in a good mood and digs you.
If she will hold eye contact with you, that's how you know you can kiss her. If you slowly move your face closer to her and she doesn't move away or flinch, then definitely you can kiss her.
Yes, it stings like bitch. Nothing you can do but approach more girls and learn your lesson from every catastrophe.
1 to 3 dates is the target to shoot for. If you aren't closing it by the end of date 3, you're fucking up. Some girls will not be comfortable on day 1. Although plenty will be if you run a solid date with plenty of bounces and locations and you physically escalate from the beginning and throughout. But by 2nd date 90% of girls should be down. So you should aim to close by the 2nd date. 3rd date is only really there in case of logistical problems. Sometimes she is too busy for it to happen on date 2. Do not drag is out beyond 3 dates. That's more than enough. If it takes you more than 3 then your date game is horrible and you are actually making her confused because by date 3 she wants you to take her. You will actually lose her if you don't take her. If she is going on dates with you she obviously wants you to fuck her.
WhatsApp is text messaging. I don't distinguish between them.
Of course you can text a bit more than just date logistics, but keep it simple.
Of course on the day of date you must follow up and get her to verify that she is coming. They flake like crazy, so always verify.

Great work!
However, next time you open a girl, never ask for the date right off the bat. That's way too weird. You need to just chat to see if you like her first. Instead of saying you want a date, tell her you find her attractive and want to see if she's cool.
But anyways, you got super lucky and somehow by fluke luck your way worked.
Now that you have a date, play it cool. Don't fuck it up by getting too needy. The less you say to her before the date the better. Use texts to arrange location. Keep it simple.
Make sure the location you take her to has multiple locations to bounce around. Bounce her around as much as possible: cafe, stroll thru park, ice cream, park bench, shops, etc. Pick a large mall-like area with lots of places to go.
Hug her as soon as you meet her. Start touching her hands very early on. Start holding her hand and leading her early on. Lock eyes with her as much as possible. Kiss her half-way thru the date. DO NOT leave the kiss for the end. Find reasons to wrap your hands around her hips and move her hips around as you stand face go face with her. Make your first kiss very short, no tongue. Leave her craving more. Cut the kiss off before she can get enough.
At the end of the date take her to a place where you can make out. Ideally your couch, otherwise a park bench or in your car. As you make out, rub her body, squeeze her thighs, kiss her neck, grab her hair by the root. Lock eyes as deep and long as possible.
No sex for you. Just try to turn her on. Turn her on, then send her home.

The reality is that even if you meet your dream partner tomorrow, you will fail to attract her and lose her because you have insufficient experience to pull it off. And even if you get lucky enough to sleep with her, you will lose her later on, because you don't know how to manage her with confidence.
In practice it's a shit strategy. Your dream partner will quickly dismiss you for some more experienced dude. Chances are high that your dream partner will not even kiss you because you are so clueless. But she will happily suck the dick of some player who pumps her emotions and knows how to lead. So while you sit there at home fawning over your dream partner, she will be sucking some player's dick and she will really enjoy it. She will be moaning his name, not your name.
These are the harsh realities of how dating works. It does not work like in the movies. You have to man up if you want quality girls. She's going to sleep with a solid man, not an immature needy boy with fantasies of romantic love. And there will not be any relationship until you get her to sleep with you. She will have zero loyalty to you until then. You will be less important to her than a zit on her ass.

Attracting your dream partner will require the same skills as attracting a hookup.
Who you attract and how you sleep with them is up to you.
You can even practice game without closing, until let's say you meet the one you really like. Although in practice you will run into so many hot and awesome girls that you will want to close many of them.

@PurpleTree Don't forget you're also too young, too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too pimply, too hairy, not hairy enough....
Re: Covid
I was at a packed Vegas club a few days ago. It was packed like a sardine can, no masks, people making out and hooking up left and right. The parties are back in full force.
Before you make out with a girl, just ask her if she has Covid

I know some of you guys here are struggling to learn game and struggling to find wingmen.
Here's a resource that lists Telegram groups for wingmen in every city in the world:
https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/
Scroll down the list to find your city.
Learning game solo as a newbie is nearly impossible, so make sure you make use of wings. Just be careful when selecting your wingman that you don't use him as a crutch to avoid approaching girls. Bad wings can be distractions more than help. Your wingman must be committed to going out consistently and approaching, not just standing around talking shit.
And once you get comfortable with wingmen, start going out solo a bit too, until eventually you can solo any venue.
This resource is to be used responsibly to help you learn game. Do not abuse your new-gained powers for unethical or devilish dating activity. Reduce harm and manipulation as much as possible. Be ware that most of your wings will be deeply stuck in stage Orange and that mindset will rub off on you. This isn't exactly high-consciousness stuff, but it's better than being an Incel.
If you are starved for sex and feeling depressed and lonely about it, start learning game and going out consistently. Do not be inactive as the problem will not magically solve itself.

You're not supposed to be able to bang dozens of hot chicks naturally. This is a highly unnatural result requiring serious training.
A typical guy will sleep with less than 10 girls in his life, and they will be of average to low quality.

I lose time.
Putting up a profile is pointless if you don't spam dozens of women per day very proactively and consistently.
I would much rather game at a Vegas club.
You will not get quality girls online unless you are in the top 20% looks-wise and have a masculine look.

It does not. But I force myself to go out anyway.

Cease trying to get with her because it will never happen, and instead focus all your mental energy on getting better with girls in general.
Move away from trying to land any one particular girl to being more social and better with talking to all girls.
BTW, what you are describing is not even Oneitis. You just had a crush on some girl. Oneitis is way worse than that. It's more like when you are totally obessed with this one girl, but she crushes your heart and you want her so bad you feel depressed and perhaps even suicidal because "she was the only one for me." It can get real bad.

If you are regularly having sex and you are in a full-on exclusive relationship, of course you can and will get very attached to each other. There's no way around that. If and when that relationship ends -- and they almost always end -- you will experience crushing heartbreak. That's just the karma of strongly attaching to anything within reality.
I am not saying you shouldn't get very attached to your girlfriend. Just understand the costs.
Of course it's okay to express your emotions you have toward her. In fact you're probably not doing this nearly deep enough nor often enough. But don't do this too early on, wait for her to be seriously hooked on you. The problem is when guys do this too early, even before sex. This is a no-no. You basically need to mirror her level of investment in you. If she is has not invested a lot in you, don't go investing a lot in her. Reward her investment with your investment.

If you don't develop the ability to attract new girls with some consistency, Oneitis will get real bad. So be careful.
The more social you are, the less Oneitis will affect you because you know there's tons of other girls around.

The hottest girls are always in the most social places, the biggest cities.

I don't have experience with that, so can't say.
But I would move to a place/city which has lots of girls walking around and/or great nightlife.
Hard for me to believe there are no good nightlife spots in Japan or India. All people party. Go to where the party is at.

If you get addicted to it, then obviously that's a problem you must address.
For me it has never been a big deal. In fact porn has helped me a lot to focus my energies on my work and other important things. Porn has also helped me figure out which physical features I want in a girl.
Without porn I would have to invest way more time chasing girls. Which is not necessarily bad, but I also had much higher priorities.
Porn is also helpful for curbing neediness and thirstiness.
The best solution to curb porn is to pour all that energy into socializing and attracting real girls. When I got into pickup I was so busy learning and going out I barely had time for or interest in porn.

@Ineedanswers Leo’s advice is good, I would essentially recommend the same, except for maybe add some more hours to socializing. As long as it’s manageable and you don’t burn out.
Because you’re psychologically going to make it a bigger deal than it is. You can really start to get in your head about it and develop a lot of self doubt. 

21-35 is the sweet spot. The younger the better. Most guys in the community are 23-33. Although the community as a whole is aging.
Nothing weird about starting at 25. I started at 26 or 27.
40+ is where things start to get difficult and strange.
The best age is as young as possible. The older you get the harder it gets, the fewer girls will want to sleep with you simply because you start to feel like their daddy.
Oh man, I wish I learned about pickup when I was 21 and in college. Holy fuck. What a lost opportunity.

I suggest you work on multiple fronts. You can start getting in shape now. Not because the girl needs it but because you want to feel confident and strong for yourself. You should also start to socialize more and talk to new girls on a weekly basis.
And while you do that you can build up your career skills during the day.
Career: 8hrs per day
Fitness: 30-60mins per day
Socializing with girls: 4hrs Fri and Sat night.
You can do all the above at once.
I suggest you aim to land your first GF as soon as you can. The longer you put it off the harder it will get.
You don't need to have some great job to attract cute girls. So don't wait for that. You can get fit within 3-6 months. But don't wait for that either, you can start talking to girls and being social now, to build up your skills for when you are fit.
I am very interested in romance.
I don't use apps. I don't like bars. So it's challenging.

It is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
You need to move to a place that has a high density of girls. This means the biggest cities with the best nightlife or the best social scenes like cafes, sidewalks, malls, etc.
Best places are NYC, LA, London, Vegas, Miami, Austin, etc.
Not only must you move to the right city, you must then find the best locations within that city to visit, otherwise you won't get far.
And it helps a lot to live as close to the city center as possible. Driving 30 mins to the city is a killer.

I'm going to go a step further and share some ideas I've had from the last few years research:
Dating through a purely biological paradigm creates tons of pathology in the persona of everyones pysche's
We all try to give off a certain expression of ourselves that meets what we assume to be attractive for the opposite sex based on societal and biological influences. Be high status, be masculine, be alpha
Lets be real I am an ENTP and your an INTP we are two feminine types, and our top matches INTJ and ENTJ females are perhaps the most masculine. Can you see the added confusion, pathology and smoke and mirrors it creates when an xNTJ females try to behave feminine and xNTPs mask their femininity and behave masculine?
 

The reality is that dating, period, creates hurt on both sides, because both parties are playing survival games and trying to get their own needs met first. Hearts get broken.
But, harm reduction is possible with more conscious and ethical methods.
Some situations are so obviously casual that little or no expectation is placed by either side for stuff beyond sex. This is a true win-win, but it can be hard to find that scenario. You'll mostly find it at parties and clubs, or places like Vegas. People fly to Vegas just to fuck. But this is not how most dating works.
When it comes to casual sex, that game is skewed in the guy's favor because the girl has more to lose and is more likely to get hurt.
The problem is that if you tell a girl before sex that this will just be casual, 95%+ girls will not sleep with you. Hence it is suicidal to utter such words. Even if the girl wants just casual sex she cannot allow herself or her friends to know that explicitly otherwise she is cast as the biggest slut in town.
But still, it is possible to go to bars and clubs in a somewhat ethical manner. You can reduce collateral damage by screening girls more and basically getting laid less. You can aim to mostly sleep with girls who you would be happy to develp a connection with beyond sex.
But if all you're doing is hunting for new pussy each night and trying to maximize your lay rate, I don't see how this is ethical. You will hurt a lot of girls, and in order to keep doing it you will have to lie to yourself about it, which will place a ceiling on how conscious you can become in life.
Fundamentally, chasing after lots of sex, or the hottest sex, is a low consciousness behavior and mindset. There is no magic bullet around this fact, sorry to say. Which is why the most conscious people have the least sex.
So what do you want more, sex or consciousness? Tough decisions! Be careful fooling yourself that you can have it all.
Doing pickup consciously is quite challenging. But you can do it. I recommend you do. You will grow like mad. But it will hurt like a bitch.
Remember, dating involves some hurt feelings. That is the cost of entry. Just seek to reasonably minimize those costs.

The point is to learn to socialize and find yourself a girl you can fall in love with. And then if she leaves you, the point is you can find a new one.

Of course it can be afforded. The issue is one of misplaced priorities.

Let's get real here, all Leo does is read books, do drugs, and talk about, that's all he do with his life. Then he goes and insolently talks shit about everybody else on here like he done something. He's not enlightened, he's just done a bunch of drugs, and read a few books. There's nothing special about him. That's his secret to life, do drugs.