@Roy She obviously thought she was secure and "cool" about it, but in the end realized she is not.
Continue doing and watching what you were warching, I guess that's normal and natural, just make sure that she doesn't have a reason to doubt yout love and devotion for her. All she cares about is that you absolutely adore her physically and as a person.
When girls get angry and insecure about their bfs watching porn, most of the time it's because they doubt their love for them. They interpret it like by you watching porn it means that you have lost attraction/love for her so you're doing these kind of things.
We just like to get assured over and over again that we're desired by you.

I said that because usually if we “don’t want to know” something intimate about a partner, it’s because we are afraid of the answer.
It’s pretty much always about safety and / or love. So for whatever reason, she didn’t feel she was getting that.
It might not have been anything you did per say, could be her issues. Or maybe it was what you didn’t do.
This is a good answer as well.

Since he was 26 I think. From what I remember

@Eonwe5
You have to be careful about how you are using your mind here. Notice that a lot of mental activity is going on -- thinking -- and this thinking is putting you into negative states. This is not awakening nor consciousness, this is the ego-mind at work. Your mind is trying to compensate for lack of consciousness and awakening by coming up with philosophical conclusions and stories about reality.
A thought like "I don't exist" is NOT awakening, nor is it high consciousness.
I recommend a few things:
1) Stop thinking about this stuff so much and instead do a meditation practice like mindfulness with labeling so that you bust out of your mental masturbation. You have to learn to step outside your thoughts and observe them. Thinking about thinking is not the same thing as stepping outside of thinking and observing it. Taking your thinking too seriously is the fundamental problem here.
2) Make a rule with yourself that no matter how much you suffer or what you think, you will never physically harm yourself.
3) Make sure you create a fulfilling life for yourself before you go deep into spiritual seeking. Ground your life in normal stuff like career, life purpose, fitness, healthy eating, socialization, sex, relationships, friendships, learning, etc.
4) If you're going into spirituality have a rigorous practice that you do, not just thinking about spirituality. Thinking about spirituality is NOT a spiritual practice.

If you're THAT behind the curve and you suck with women, then I would recommend pick up or some other form of dating material. Just do it responsibly and understand the limitations.
There is no way to get better at dating without actually dating people.
And it helps to learn the basics of how women think and what they are attracted to in a guy, because it's very counter-intuitive at first. If you've never been around women, then you will have a lot of wrong ideas about what they want.
My rant video against pickup was mostly aimed at HARDCORE players and pickup fanatics, not newbies who just want a girlfriend. Like I said in the video, I personally got A LOT out of pickup and I did it fairly responsibly.

Dude, of course people are doing to judge you. She isn't space Jesus.
Girls are commonly insecure about such things.
Really the solution here is read between the lines of her words, quickly realize she's being insecure, and then rather than trying to logically convince her of anything, just give her the security she craves. So you hug her, maker her feel loved, look in her face, kiss her, etc. Be careful trying to win over girls with logic. It usually backfires. You gotta learn to shower them with love instead.
Basically when a girl gets pissy with you, whatever the logic is, just cut through it and realize that what she's really telling you is, "Love me more". It's not really about the porn, it's about how you make her feel. She doesn't really care about your porn, she cares how she feels. So make her feel good and then she will be fine. Rather than trying to explain yourself to her logically, just skip straight to making her feel loved.
Also, take the lead. Lead her into understanding that porn is normal and trivial for guys. Lead her to understanding that porn does not diminish your love for her.

Ahahahahahaha....
If you were clever you could have used this moment to deflect and also entrench your frame with a response like: "I was thinking about your mom." And then move on to another conversation topic. You don't have to engage girls in conversation topics which don't lead anywhere good. If she asks you who you fantasize about when you jerk off, you don't have to tell her. Which is not to say you lie to her. You just say, "Don't fill your mind with such things." and then change topics. Don't let girls lead conversations in lose-lose directions.
You should already know if your girl is too insecure to handle such a conversation.
For example, if my girl asks me to take her to the strip club and I sense that she's not secure enough to handle it, I will say NO. Because nothing good will come from that. A girl only gets to go to a strip club with me if she demonstrates that she can handle it. Many girls can't. Some girls can't even handle going to a nightclub with me. I once took an old ex gf to a Vegas nightclub and she ran out of there after 15 minutes crying. Because she was too insecure to handle the competition. I learned my lesson: I should have known she was too insecure to handle it and just refused to take her. BTW, it was her idea to go to the nightclub. I should have said NO. Because I knew she had insecurity issues.
A Vegas nightclub will make a lot of average girls feel insecure and unworthy.
Your girl is just too entitled and insecure.
You tell her you were jerking off to some pornstar as if you don't even think twice about it.
Your girl just sounds inexperienced with guys. She doesn't understand how guys work. Of course you jerk off to other girls. Of course. You and 4 billion other guys.
If she protests about this, you tell her that you would rather be inside her, but if she's unavailable you are willing to settle for porn. You're doing her a favor here by not bothering her with your horniness. She also needs to understand that you have a high sex drive and you're going to use it, either on her or elsewhere.
But again, this is about proper framing. She should sense from the moment she meets you that you're a sexual tyrannosaur. There should be no doubt in her mind that you have a high sex drive and that you own it and use it. Then it's her job to satisfy you if she wants to keep you. Again, this is not said explicitly, this is sub-communicated by setting the player frame vs the boyfriend frame. Of course you can still be her boyfriend and be committed to her, but she has to know that she is taming a player here, not some dickless chump, and that you are doing her a huge favor by going exclusive with her and that she should respect that rather than getting all spoiled and whiny with you about something as trivial as porn.
Setting frames in critical for your relationships to go well. Your girl must have proper expectations about you. Once these frames are set early on, they are very difficult to reset. So learn to set them correctly right off the bat.

Dude, these guys are the complete package: epic social status, epic wealth, top 1% looks, top 1% charisma.

Haha
Women are not sexually aroused in the same way as guys. They are not aroused by visuals alone. They are attracted to powerful personality and presence and leadership. They are attracted when the guy is good at pumping up her emotional state and making her feel like a girl. Women are emotional creatures. A photo of the biggest dick in the world will not make her excited. You must pump up her emotional state first. The silent James Bond approach will not get you laid. You must be chatty, playful, and extroverted. You need to play with her.
Your looks are a great advantage -- they get your foot in the door -- but getting your foot in the door is NOT closing. Learning to close makes or breaks your whole lay count. If you are good-looking but have no clue how to close, you'll get laid less then ugly guys who know how to close.
Right now it's like you own a Ferrari but have no clue how to drive. The Ferrari is a fast car that will beat a Toyota, but if I know how to drive my Toyota and you have no clue how to drive your Ferrari, I will beat you every time.
If you want to understand what turns on women, go to Walmart and buy a romance novel. Read it. That's is porn for women. Women are turned on mentally, not visually.
Also... attraction is also not seduction. You can get attraction pretty easy but then you must lay on the seduction until she's horny. A women does not get horny instantly like a guy. You need to guide her into it and manage all the logistics so sex can happen. You absolutely cannot count on women to handle the logistics. Learning to handle logistics like a champ is the #1 key to getting laid consistently.
It's the logistics, stupid
All game boils down to two things: playful leading. Everything else is an unpacking of those two things. If you can't be playful and you can't lead, your game sucks, and so your chances of getting laid become extremely low.

Sure, of course feeling unloved is a way deeper issue than sex. And sex alone may not even solve it.
Yes, there are some guys who have been abused by parents or grew up not receiving sufficient love. These guys need a lot of inner work beyond getting laid.
But also, I think most guys just need to learn how to get laid and get a loving girlfriend. This will auto-correct many problems. If problems still remain after that then they can do some deeper inner work on that. But the deeper inner work is not gonna help a guy who hasn't gotten laid in years. There is an order of operations here, and I don't like it when I hear people telling guys who haven't gotten laid in years to "stop thinking about sex and focus on finding love". That's BS. The sex must be handled first. Guys require sex. This is like food. Get yourself fed, then see what problems remain. Sex is the gateway to love in this case. Once you start getting laid you will feel like a brand new man.

Of course normal dating will yield more relationships. But also normal dating is very low volume. You get a date once in a blue moon.
If you want to do normie dating, go ahead. But you will be in such scarcity, so needy, and the quality of girls you get will be meh, and when your girl breaks up with you, you will want to kill yourself because you know you will not get a new one for years.
It also depends on how social you are. If you're highly social without doing pickup, then you will naturally have decent dating opportunities. But most guys are not that social so they are screwed.
You have to decide how much abundance you want in your life. Most guys sleep with less than 10 girls in their entire life and the quality is meh. You also have to decide how high of quality of girl you want. If your standards are very low then you can be much more lazy about this whole thing.
It's also a question of how good do you want to be with girls? How much do you want to grow yourself as a man? Normal dating doesn't really grow you because it's too infrequent and random.
Your neediness for a girl's love will turn off most girls and make them run away from you towards a guy who doesn't give a shit. So even those few girls you manage to date once in a blue moon, they will likely lose attraction for you and break your heart because you're going to be the biggest classic "nice guy".

That's the devil of pickup.
There is a tradeoff between growing with relationships vs growing your game.
If you seriously want to build your game you have to say no to relationships for at least a few years. But then again, if you find an awesome girl, it may be worth it to do a relationship.
I am not telling you what to do. The choice is yours. But the combo of a really well-matched and pretty girl is rare, so don't throw that away when you stumble upon it.

At the highest level of consciousness even reincarnation is imaginary because you are imagining the past and the future.
At the highest level of consciousness death simply never occurs, so reincarnation becomes moot.

I find it of little value reading philosophers original works. Read a summary of their key ideas. Most of their ideas are quite bad and deeply misguided. You could spend a decade or more sifting through that dung pile and not come out of it any more developed than when you started.

If you are starting pickup you will be banging so rarely it's not an issue.
If you get to expert level, then get a vesectomy.

@Leo Gura 

Hi Leo, just out of curiosity which of your "teachings" is it you think I don't like?

I have been ultra-specific about the things you have said I take issue with, in all cases I have provided quotes straight from the horses mouth of you actually saying them, and none of them was related to any particular teaching. In reality what these criticisms were leveled at was your delusional utterances around abilities you gained from taking 5 MEO DMT, and those criticisms have held up AMAZINGLY well.
Since you bring up the topic of mental gymnastics then I would invite you to look in the mirror. Rather than labeling those you disagree with as trolls, and fantasizing backstories about how they hate the teachings, wouldn't it just be easier and more courageous to simply acknowledge that on occasion you have said some things you shouldn't? That maybe there actually has been some really toxic shitty behaviour on these forums, and that when people bring these issues up then maybe they have a point? Doesn't that sound like a more mature approach than just having a tantrum and calling people trolls?

Sure, I get that its easier to invent some grandiose narrative about someone who "HATES THE TEACHINGS!!!", but I think we both know that's complete bollocks don't we. Its really simple - you said some shit, you got called out on it, and you don't like that. No overarching story line of hate required. 
So yeah - mental gymnastics and personal attacks, that's you in a nutshell mate ?. 

I can, and have, backed up EVERY SINGLE criticism I make, whereas you just pull labels like "troll" and "hate" out of your arse because (when it comes to these criticisms) you do not have a logical or rational leg to stand on. I get that its an easier way of dealing with things, but its really fucking lazy, and certainly not what I would expect from such a well integrated, radically open minded, truth-seeker like you ?

They seem delusional to you because you fundamentally don't understand how spirituality works. So you lack a larger context for some of the radical things I have said. That which your mind cannot fathom, that which is beyond your direct experience, you call "delusional" because that's the only way your mind knows how to make sense of reality.
You also are not taking into account the raw nature of my awakening reports. Things are reported as they occurred for me without polishing them up for critics and the spiritually clueless. There is a difference between a formal teaching vs a report of profound awakenings happening as I go through the process and describe the process as it feels and occurs for me while in the midst of it. It's the difference between talking about WW2 as a historian in a university vs being in the front lines of WW2 with bombs falling on your head. You have taken some of my most radical awakenings and experiments in consciousness -- which you have no intellectual understanding of -- and made a mockery of them.
I have watched your criticisms of my work, and it is based on some basic misunderstandings of how spirituality works.
Anyways, the sum total body of my work speaks for itself. I feel no need to justify or defend it.
Not really. The behavior on this forum is not out of line for how online forums work, or for how the internet as a whole works.
We do a lot of moderation to stop toxic behavior here.
You have to learn to make your own decisions in life. I am not the CEO of your life, you are. And until you start taking responsibility for being the CEO of your life you will continue to suffer not just at my hands but the hands of many other humans who you give your authority away to.
The thing is, you don't want to take this responsibility. You want someone like me to tell you what to do in life. So you can just paint by numbers. Well... that's not how a good life is created.
I would tell you to go walk off a cliff -- just so you stop following my words blindly -- but I'm afraid you might take me seriously.

That really sucks man. Seems a bit similar to people who get tinnitus.
Yeah, listening to 10hrs of music per day is way too much. My mind would get numb from that much music. I wear ear plugs a lot just to get deep silence even there is no significant noise around me.
You shouldn't listen to more than a few hours of music per day. And even then, you need to take days off from music or it loses itself specialness.

Nothing will awaken you like synthetic 5-MeO-DMT.
Watch out for that naturalistic fallacy.

Well, I have struggled with chronic fatigue a lot. Yeah, it definitely will hold back your game, but not just your game, your whole life.
If I didn't have chronic fatigue I would get laid WAY more. I would also earn millions more. Tough shit. Life requires energy.

The answer to that question is the heart of game. The answer cannot be told to you, you must learn it by doing it.
There isn't any algorithmic way to follow up. You must be so in the zone that you say whatever comes to your mind and amuses you, and whatever matches your sexual intent towards the girl you are speaking to. In other words, your follow-up cannot be some canned lines, it must be genuine and improvisational.
Usually the best follow-up is not interview style questions but just fun shit-talking.
Here's an example:
A girl is walking out of the restroom at the club. I tap her on the shoulder, smile, and say, "I love you." She gives me a face like she is turned off. I calibrate to that and say, "Hey, come here a second. Did you just take a giant shit in there? That turns me on. You should go back in there and take a video of yourself taking a giant shit and send it to me." I say this in way where it's obvious I'm teasing her. Her face changes, now she's interested in talking to me. So I pull her in physically and talk with her about other random stupid shit. This is not a routine I run. This is a spontaneous response generated on-the-fly to a particular situation.
Basically, your conversations have to be fun and random. Nothing serious. Nothing logical. Mostly it's flirting and shit-talk.
Your follow up has to be congruent with how you feel in the moment and your intent towards her. For example, if I see a girl I really like, I might just walk up to her, take her by the hand, and say, "OMG, you are fucking adorable. Come here..." and give her a genuine hug. Then stare in her eyes and hold her by the waist.  This is not done as some "routine" or planned line. It's a fully authentic expression of my attraction towards her, specifically her, in that moment. It's calibrated to her and to my own internal state. I am also reading her face and body to gauge how open she is to me. If she recoils, I will back off. If she is open then I will escalate further. The verbals comes spontaneously, not pre-meditated.
Your follow ups have to be improvisational. This is the hardest and most important part of game to learn. You learn it by lots of trail and error.
A good way to practice this is to open with a very simple opener and then force yourself not to ask her any questions and instead make statements about her. Talk to her without needing her to give you material. Also, you need to come from a fun, positive, emotional state, not a logical state. So put yourself into the proper state first before talking.
When you are in the right state, verbals become effortless and fun. When you are in the wrong state, your verbals are logical and awful.

me neither but i'm too tired way too often.
for example yesterday i went out and it was fun, talked to a lot of women, made out etc.
went out tonight again but was too tired and not feeling it at all, also wasn't fun tonight really. it was ok-ish

I have a long time ago ocassionally, but not recently.
Mondafinil doesn't really solve chronic fatigue. It's a temporary boost.
To game well I have to be well-rested. I can't game when I am too tired or sleepy. My state is just too off.

Handle your basic human needs first. Unless you want to be a monk.

1) Approaching and getting blown out
2) Shit talking with wings
3) Dancing & listening to good music
4) DMT
5) Going out consistently, building up momentum
6) Getting present and enjoying the environment, getting very calm in my body
7) Not thinking. Stop planning your approaches, stop thinking about "What am I going to say?"
8) Using funny, obnoxious, and absurd lines like: "Hi, I'm a douche bag. You should meet me." And in general just inventing new funny things to say to girls.