@mandyjw Don't conflate the relative and the absolute.
When I give guys dating advice, this is practical stuff. I am not teaching them to be saints here.
In practice people care about style. Which is why everybody on TV and in the biz world wears tailored suits and make up. You won't be taken seriously otherwise. You can bemoan this all you want, but most humans are shallow as hell and they will judge by how you dress.
Some of you ladies here are too conscious of your own good, in that you overlook the mundane practical concerns of survival which are involved in dating. That's fine if you have reached that level, but that's not a level I can give dating advice from because most of the guys here are ravenous dogs who just need a bone to chew to keep from killing themselves.
You gotta meet people where they're at. This is a thread about fashion, not God.

You can assume that.
Or another possibility is that I'm pointing out a trap to you which you're not yet conscious of.
I don't care about one-upping anyone. What I care about is making sure you guys don't get stuck in the trap of some shallow and incomplete realization. I have seen too many people fall prey to that.
You guys love making this about me. But this is not about me at all.
Are you conscious of the fact that you are creating all of reality? That is all. That's what I teach. I don't care about anything else. If you want to read other sources, by all means, go ahead.

It makes you more authentic and fearless, which helps a lot.
But don't go thinking that you can avoid learning the fundamentals of game and just take 5-MeO. 5-MeO by itself will not give you the distinctions nor skills necessary to be successful with women. But it will make you more authentic, which is a core principle of game.
And you still gotta go out. No amount of anything will help you if you don't go out regularly and socialize.
Socialization is the foundation of all success with women. No socialization, no results.

That's because you're needy yourself.
The guy has to be less needy than the girl to maintain attraction. If the girl is super needy and low value she will tolerate a fairly needy low value guy. But the highest value girls are the least needy and will drop needy guys like flies.
It's a value game. If you don't expect high value the game is much easier. As the value approaches zero the game approaches zero.

I actually went out and eventually I made out with a pretty girl. I just called a taxi & jumped in the que. 
I waa shitfaces nervous but onxe i fot in the club I startes to relax, seeing all these nervous faces on such pretty girls actually calmeds me down some reason, also seing so many shitdaced guya i realized competition isnt thaaat bad even if they were look cool physically.
She wasnf completely sober and I had several drinks (but wasnf exactlg drunk either) so I cant act like it was that much of an accomplishment
She actually suggested leaving somewhere but i stupidly went bathroom and then she found her (overweight & demanding) friends, who told her "were going home in a rude demanding voice"
Admittedly she wasnt completely sober but we made out quite a lot and I touched her nice ass and it felt so good.
All the stuff I read and worries about has no relevance when I get there,all the hypergamy and peoples opinions on reditt flys out the window, I was wrong, girls do like to be sexual at clubs, you just have to not react & be stoic to the ones thaf dont like it, there will always be a mix.
Crazy how many key lessons u can learn in one nigjt out too, u dont even need a coach.
I feel like thw the more negative emotions u feel to doinf somethinf the more that thing is probablt going to lead to do something good, "life is counterintuitive". 

Reddit is a toxic cesspool. Stop consuming such low vibration information from losers. Find a good pickup forum where guys are taking action and not making any excuses.
The narratives your mind spins will make or break you in pickup. You must become your own cheerleader, even if you have a shitty night you gotta immediately reframe it as: this was a good lesson for next night. All future nights will now be better.
Like bad trips, your worst nights are some of your best for growth. Failure at getting a girl is not failure in growth. Not at all. Never judge your night based on whether you got the girl. Judge your night based on how much action you took and how many new lessons arose.
Losing the girl is what teaches you the deepest lessons. You will lose 100s of girls, so get used to it.
Do not consume attraction information from anyone who isn't going out at least several nights per week. Only their advice and opinions matter. Do not allow keyboard jockeys in your mind. Most guys online are keyboard jockeys. They don't approach.

Being neutral and vanilla is not a good attraction strategy. The most attractive guys are polarizing. Women who love them really love them, and women who don't love them really hate them.
As a guy you don't want every woman to love you. You only want like 10-20% of them to love you, but REALLY love you. It's similar to business. You don't want a bunch of lukewarm tire-kickers, you want rabid fans who will buy your entire product line and tell all their friends about it.
Most people probably hate Actualized.org, but those who love it love it more than anything else.
Ta-daaa!

Dude, stop reading such negative shit.
If you actually start talking to girls you'll see that you mostly get positive reactions.
You need to bask only in positivity when you're doing this. You need to practice delusional levels of positivity here. Do not allow a single negative thought into your mind no matter what happens.
Clubbing solo is one of the hardest things a guy can do. But damn does it grow you if you can pull it off.
Get some wingmen to bolster you. Going out solo as a newbie is not usually sustainable. You need some emotional support structure from wings when starting off.

So great

Remember, girls sleep with a guy based on the strength of emotional connection built.
It's the guy's responsibility to build that connection.
It could take a clueless guy 2 months to build that connection. Or a guy who knows what he's doing can build that connection within a few hours. The girl doesn't really care how many hours it takes. She isn't using a clock, she's using her feelings. So make her feel something for you and she will be glad to sleep with you sooner rather than later.
It's all about the emotions. It's not a mechanical process.
It's shocking how quickly deep intimacy with a total stranger can be built. Doing so is an art that can be mastered. Most people don't understand this. They aren't consciously building deep intimacy. They just leave it up to blind luck, which tends to take a long time.
Just locking eyes with someone for 10 minutes will build massive intimacy. Yet guys overlook something so simple and obvious.

Attraction is merely phase 1 of the process.
A guy rarely gets laid from attraction alone.
After phase 1 is complete, then he has to master phase 2: building rapport/intimacy. If he skips this step most girls will refuse to sleep with him, so he is forced to master it even if he doesn't want to.
Without solid intimacy a girl will give last minute resistance and weasel out of sex.
And then phase 3 is seduction.
1) Attraction >> 2) Rapport >> 3) Seduction = 4) Sexy Time
Each phase of the process requires training and mastery. Including #4!

Have you considered that your depression is actually a disconnection from being and consciousness?
Your pursuit of sober, practical reality is what makes you depressed, because survival is fundamentally hollow and unsatisfying. You are a hamster in a wheel.

So... just like every girl in the world?

Humans are just naturally value-seeking creatures.
Sexual beauty is just one type of value. Money is another. Intelligence is another. Charisma is another. Physical strength is another.
Of course people will use their natural genetic advantages to extract and maximize value from others. Hot women do it through sex. Intelligent guys do it through business. Etc.
The bottom line is, if you were born with huge tits you would use them to maximize your survival.
The problem is that we get jealous when others have something that massively increases their survival but we don't have it. And so we can start to hate and demonize those people who have what we don't have.
Unfortunately for women, their survival hinges more on beauty than a man's. It's unfortunate because beauty is so temporary. It's easier to maintain a business for 40 years than your youthful looks.

Anywhere private and secure.
Who the fuck knows. She probably wanted you to fuck her by that point. You half-assed it by failing to account for logistics.
Logistics is what costs you 90% of your lay count. If you want to get laid become a master of handling logistics.

Fun story for ya:
One time in Vegas I met a local girl at the club who was DTF. She was real excited, so we drove to her house. We started making out on her couch but I had to take a shit real bad. So I went to take a shit. By the time I got out, 5 mins later, the mood was spoiled, it was getting late, she lost interest and kicked me out. Never called me back.
Moral of the story: Take a shit before you go out to the club.
The devil is in the details.

It seems to me Leo and the founders of spiral dynamics have (ironically) once again left out some of the more feminine manifestations of the stages... I want to hear what you think - especially girls. 
I'm convinced an overlooked facet of orange is serial monogamy, soap-opera style drama and the whole fairytale "romantic love" ideal. Leo said orange doesn't believe in love or care about emotion, and he gave us the stereotypical pick-up guy who treats sex as an achievement picture for orange relationships, but hey - some girls also go screw a lot of guys, but most have other patterns. Like trying to find THE ONE who can make her feel love and be happy. 
My take on spiral dynamics and relationships
tl;dr: There's plenty of orange relationships which are not empty of romance but where people still treat each other as a means to an end. 
IMHO all stages are capable of having some compassion for their nearest and dearest, of pair-bonding or being non-monogamous etc. 
Blue will place restrictions on relationships to comply with the group's structure.  Monogamous marriage, as an institution, is the ideological child of blue, designed partly to protect property and inheritance. I'm not saying monogamous people today can't be further in their development, however, the structure they adopt is one that has served as the religious one-true-way and a social obligation. That's quite clear.

Orange, IMHO, breads the romantic love ideal - only you choose the best partner for you. Think about it, marriage based on love and choosing your loved one yourself actually becomes popular around the same time as capitalism does.
It also gives rise to serial monogamy. Now the individual is more important than the relationship (structure), so “moving on when a relationship no longer suits you” is celebrated sometimes as the right thing to do. So what you get is people just dating and sleeping around, but also relationships which were born from the belief in one true love ... ending in bitter divorce after a few years when the new and exciting vanishes and people failed to develop deep intimacy. 
In orange you may have the guy who judges women on their looks and the girl who is attracted to money and power and the teenage girl who worships a pop-star, but also the woman who reads romantic fiction and is looking for "true love" - where loving her is of course measured by her personal standards of behaviour. "If he truly loved her, he would/wouldn't..." Heck, we don't even have to read romantic fiction to buy into this set of beliefs, it's everywhere in the pop-culture starting with fairy-tales (purple?), and encompassing fantasy literature and romantic movies (orange/green).
Notice how this perception of love is equally objectifying to man as the "male gaze" to women - the man here also becomes a means to an end, he's the one to provide the love I want, to bring my "happily ever after", the one to earn money and care for family and give me sex, cuddles, flowers and dates, and the one who's to blame if I'm not feeling the love I expect from a relationship. What he's NOT, unless in love, is a fascinating being of his own to connect with - hence sometimes marriages of mostly stage orange people turn into a fight for influence and "whose way is the right way" after the initial infatuation wears off. And then people say "he/she wasn't right for me".
At orange, we also get narcissism as a couple, the "two against the world", where people manage to get absorbed with each other and just merge into codependence without having any helpful impact on the world as a unit. 
Orange also has a tolerance or even looks for, drama. After all, the emotions you suppress in your work-life have to come out somewhere. Hence conflicts with your spouse, and hence soap-opera and gossip. 
There are also guys who buy into the romantic love ideal. A lot of them. Guys also want love and know they want love, not everyone is completely cut off from their emotion at orange.
IMHO for women, the transition into green in relationships is not necessarily about starting to focus on emotion and believe in "love" - though the word certainly gets a redefinition - but rather realizing that participation has to be truly voluntary and you can't change your lover. Only from that realization people can find an appreciation for true connection and start to base their relationships at that quality.
Green development in relationships is imho finding true intimacy. Also, grasping how love comes from inside, not from the person you're in relationship with. Sometimes you do that with your spouse, sometimes you skew a bit more communal even in your love life. Green is also about going global with your empathy and applying the loving-kindness you've learned in your personal relationships to the whole world.
As an aside, polyamory in my view is a funny blend of green and orange values. The ideology of abundant love must be an ideal of green, as are more communal forms of poly. Also the emphasis on processing feelings, everyone being heard and valued etc. 
However for most people, I the main motivations are more individualistic. Personal freedom to pursue your attractions. Sexual variety. Not being bound by any convention. Needless to say, orange polyamory not heavily tempered by green compassion doesn't work that great. But living the "green" ideas also seems difficult for most people. It could be we are simply not there yet, or it could be an example of a green ideal which is not that easily brought into practice. 

I wonder what yellow relationships are like. Maybe the dilemma between monogamy and non-monogamy proves itself false somehow?
Well, if you've read all that, thanks for your time and please tell me if I'm getting some interesting points right or if I'm re-inventing my own spiral

Survival has nothing to do with Truth.
You can crank up the horror as much as you want, but it doesn't change Truth, it just makes it harder to see.
Just because I torture you and force you to say that 1+1=3 does not change the truth.

I agree with this but only conceptually, I am a middle-upper class white male that works from his own home and doesn't need to interact the all the idiocy outside, I can just put zen music and relax anytime I want without any disturbance.
I cant imagine the horrors of being an atheist LGBT living in poverty ridden middle east, nor I can imagine telling such a person "oh you just have to realize its all love, lol".

He's full of shit.
He has no idea what God is.
God is not something you identify with. You're God right fucking now. There is only you. You are imaging Frank Yang and all his enlightenment stories in order to keep yourself asleep. You are imagining absolutely everything and everyone. You are creating imaginary arguments in order to keep yourself asleep.
There is no enlightenment. There is only YOU, only God.
Every time you listen to a human you are fooling yourself. There are no humans. It's all something you made up to fool yourself. There is no Buddha, there is no Christ. It's all bullshit. No Buddhist is God-realized.
Stop listening to idiots on YouTube. Cut the shit and Awaken. Or keep playing games.

@Illusory Self
Dude you already get dates. The whole point of approaching girls is to get dates and you do not need to do that. Consider yourself lucky you do not have to go through that shit. Most guys would kill if they could do that. You just need more dating experience. You really think approaching is any easier? It is actually MUCH harder than a date. On a date the girl already has decided she would have sex with you, all you need is to not screw it up.
Just try to get more experience. Also if you are as good looking to be able to get online dates with hotties then you do not even need to approach much. Girls will give you indicators of interests and you can just talk to them and they will be super receptive. Or just be social, meet people and girls will try to get your attention and even can ask you out (or say yes fast if you suggest it).
Getting laid for you is really really easy compared to most guys, use your gift well and stud hard.
Now if you want to approach as a self deveopment mission then definetly do so. It really improves your social skills and is an emotional workout (just like gym is a body workout). There are definetly things to be learned. Yesterday i did a solo night out and boy was it hard haha (rewarding too kinda). So if you want to do that then i would encourage you to. HOWEVER, it is NOT necessary for you to get laid. See it as a self improvment thing rather than a "get sex" thing.
Wish you the best.

You can't accept something that you're not conscious of.
The point isn't to accept my words, but you go raise your consciousness to experience what is being talked about.
It's way too radical for words.

Because you aren't conscious that everything is love.

Stefan is mistaking genetics with terrible economic inequality and culture.
The IQ difference between whites and blacks is not a genetic problem, it's a social, political, and economic problem. If blacks were not economically and culturally oppressed, their IQ scores would rise by at least as much as their IQ difference between whites and blacks.
The IQ is a very poor measure. IQ tests are culturally biased and they do not accurately measure intelligence, nor is intelligence or IQ a fixed genetic trait like eye color.
You cannot change your eye color but you can change your intelligence.
The solution is to provide blacks and everyone else in the country with free high quality education. Then human intelligence will shoot through the roof.
It is ironic that people who cite the IQ test are themselves not exhibiting any great intelligence.

@Leo Gura Here is what you had to say about Stefan Molyneux when I asked how this guy's work is.