EmptyInside

No takers on the "What does 'the abyss' mean to you?" question? Why does that kinda hurt a little? Lol. Oh well.

@sausagehead Couldn't agree more. A lot of "paralysis by analysis" going on. That's certainly no fun. Laugh dammit! Lol

I think it's important to be vulnerable. We all struggle sometimes. That's where much of our growth comes from. Sometimes I think that sharing our vulnerabilities is just as important as sharing our insights. The more open I am about my own struggles, the more I think it is likely to help someone else when they are struggling. I have been helped by Leo opening up about his struggles and I think he has been pretty realistic about what to expect along the way. I have respect for anyone who bares their soul and allows themselves to be vulnerable. I think there is a very high likelihood that everyone who really takes self-actualizing seriously will face an unraveling at some point. Being shaken to one's core. It's not pleasant at all. It can feel depressing. It can feel lonely. It can feel like it's driving you crazy. It can feel like an existential crisis. You may reach out to people including those on this forum and still feel like nobody understands, and maybe nobody does, and maybe nobody can, but you. It's ok. It's ok to struggle. It's ok to feel confused. It's ok to not understand something. It's ok to not be understood. It's ok. Just keep moving forward and better days will come. You'll realize it was all necessary. One of my favorite Osho quotes is: Try to laugh a little bit more. It helps. And the next time I struggle, which may be tomorrow, I'll be sure to refer back to this post so I can take my own advice. Lol

@Vitamine Water LMAO. Most definitely. Thanks. I needed that laugh.

So I watched Leo's new video today. I'll probably watch it again and let it digest for a bit but I'm impressed. "Give it to me straight." "Too woke for theory." Lol. Points of interest were "Rational vs Irrational" and "Rational vs Intuitive" and quite a few others but he referenced his "Balancing Theory vs Practice" video which apparently I had overlooked. I can see why he says this is one of his most important videos.

I think this one is pretty good

Love this one too. That vibe

Speaks for itself

@Serotoninluv Same here bro. One of the best performances I've ever seen. George Clinton is a musical genius in my opinion. "Everybody's got a little light under the sun"

@DocHoliday They were tuned into something. Definitely a lot of psychedelics.

@Billy Shears Another one of my favorites.

May not be everyone's cup of tea but I love these guys. I think this shit is hilarious. And somehow deep ?

@JohnnyBravo Nice. I love the quote. I used to pay attention to numbers. I almost went insane ? How about this one? He had a great sense of humor.

Just watched this. Wasn't disappointed.

@Leo Gura Why am I not surprised by that? Lol. He did indeed. Absolutely. I love that one too.

@Nahm Pure gold brother.

@mandyjw That is an excellent answer. Very good advice. @Genghis Khan My heart goes out to you because I've been where you are now. I couldn't give you any better advice than what @mandyjw and @Vinnie already did.

Good analysis of Phenibut. I can confirm that I have seen similar results. I think your Pros and Cons are accurate from my own experience. Thanks for sharing.

So I just finished watching Leo's new video "Understanding Duality - Part 1 - Master List of 250+ Dualities". I'm listening to it again now and I have to say I really like the new post-retreat direction he's taking. This is the sort of foundational material that will make it easier for people to begin wrapping their minds around non-duality. The analysis of the Yin Yang was particularly enjoyable. That little symbol contains so much Truth. Much of the context that has helped me begin to understand non-duality has come from the Tao Te Ching. Many parts from the Tao Te Ching have helped me make more sense out of Leo's videos, and many of Leo's videos have helped me make more sense out of parts of the Tao Te Ching. I think there is a certain amount of fluidity required to begin to understand non-duality. You really must be able to appreciate paradoxes, counter-intuitiveness, and practice radical open-mindedness to open the doors that lead to more understanding (in my opinion). I see it tripping people up. I don't claim to be a master or anything but I'm beginning to understand. I would recommend to anyone who may be conflicted about some of what Leo is talking about that you check out the Tao Te Ching, and not just once, but many times. This is the Youtube audio version that I really like:

One of the things that I find myself struggling with again and again is not necessarily facing the emptiness of being but the loneliness that tries to creep back in when I start to realize how few people are able to relate with the importance of solitude and doing the inner work. That's why I really appreciate this video: This is exactly the challenge that I face now. I don't have a large family. I'm not married. I don't have any kids. I don't have a significant other. Don't need one. I use social media sparingly. I'm a former programmer. I now work 20 hours per week in the mental health field and spend the rest of my time working on myself (by myself) as much as possible. I live a very minimalist life and have discovered a great deal of internal wealth in the process. But to be honest, even though I have made peace with solitude and practice facing the emptiness daily and practice experiencing being, there are times when I want to connect with others who are further along in the process. In person, that's looking less likely by the day. Online, maybe. I know there are some. They are hard to find. That neediness to connect with others that I'm observing in myself is counter to embracing the emptiness of being, and it comes and it goes, but it returns. I've started drastically limiting my social media use. It has become depressing to see how many people are completely offline inwardly as they immerse themselves online outwardly in non-stop dick and fart jokes or airy fairy spiritual memes. I know that sounds like a judgmental thing to say but that's how it feels. The more I work on myself, the more I feel less of a connection on those deeper levels with others, and I know that's part of the process, but Leo's right, it does get lonely. I'm not trying to condescend. I know it's fear that they are dealing with and that they are so terrified of sitting alone with themselves that they distract themselves endlessly and never begin to look inward. I was like that for a long time. I still need some distraction too but it does get lonely when you realize that there are very few who can appreciate the importance of solitude. It's a total paradox, but I actually feel less alone when I'm all alone than I do when I'm interacting with people who are operating on low consciousness levels which is almost everyone I know with the exception of just a couple of people who I have run into online. Can anyone relate?

@who chit I love Osho. I will add her to my list of people to research.

@cetus56 Couldn't agree more. Quote=LoL

@Leo Gura Thank you for the advice and for the years of hard work you have put into actualized.org and your amazing video library. You have been a tremendous help. I will do more looking around locally for spiritual people. You're right. They're out there. This forum has been a great start. Good to meet you.

@theking00 Not sure if this will help and I'm not sure that everyone will agree but in my experience, life is a constant state of ego death. There is not one ego death, but many, and many more after those and many more after those. I'm not sure if the ego can truly be fully overcome. I'm open to the possibility, but in my own life the best I've been able to do is to gain more and more control over the ego, but it's still there.